Painted Smiles &amp; Glass Tears

I offered to come check on my friend's animals while she's away for the long weekend

She thinks I'm joking

But I'm ready

eunyisadoran

Wait. Are there 200, but to be numbered 1-250? Did I read those tags right? 😲

Yes there are actually 202 of them, the company sent 2 extra in the package, and I will be numbering them on the bottom with sharpie marker 1-250. This will ensure even if she manages to find all 202, she will never truly stop feeling like there might be a tiny duck somewhere unknown in the house. Lurking. Waiting to appear at the strangest time.

talesfromtreatment

#sometimes you must be gently evil to your friends#so they know you love them enough

very very important

ifririt

hey op i don't think those are frogs like you said

armayes

they're right those arent frogs op.

I meant to prank my friend by hiding hundreds of small ducks after saying I would hide small frogs, but it turns out due to some quirk of only 3 people on the entire Internet knowing what a prank is, it seems I have pranked hundreds of other people by saying I would put 100 small frogs in my friends house, when in fact the prank was that it was 202 small ducks.

an update. it has been over 4 months and they are still finding ducks

1 year and 7 months later:

depsidase

anistarrose

if you are a parent, or may become one, or you are otherwise likely to arrive in the situation of caring for a child while they eat, promise me this: if a child doesn't like a certain food or food group, you will ask them WHY. and specifically, you will pay attention to either confirming or ruling out "it makes my mouth itch" or "it makes my stomach hurt," both of which are medically important info that children may not provide unprompted. which i know because this PSA has been brought to you by "i spent my entire childhood and much of my early teens eating peas and lentils while wondering why everyone else liked the Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation so much, like were they a bunch of legume masochists or something, before i finally realized that Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation was in fact a sinister demon appearing only to me, and her true demonic name was: Legume Allergy"

lake-erie

this year’s prom theme is… *opens envelope* Great Lakes Invasive Species And What Boaters Can Do To Stop Them

football-in-tuxedos

And the subject of tonight’s ecology panel is *turns on powerpoint* Enchantment Under the Sea

yujateaandpi

Was driving with my grandmother and in broken English she says “no eyes… no nose… no face. Don’t trust.” To which I looked around wildly in search of this omen of ill portend.

Cybertruck. It was a cybertruck.

mevil

moghedien

I feel like I need to share this because idk if Europeans are familiar with the presence of Aldi in the US, but at least especially in my area they’ve been growing a lot recently. Like Aldi bought out some local failing grocery chains where I live (Louisiana) and have opened Aldis in all these somewhat rural communities and small towns, which for the record I’m fine with

But as a result of this they are advertising a lot more in my area and also in many cases, the people in these areas have never been confronted with Aldi or any European grocery store. So the ads that Aldi is pushing out to its new US customer base feature a cowboy shopping at Aldi who is explaining to new Aldi customers how Aldi works. Like this cowboy is explaining you gotta put a quarter in the shopping cart and why there are very little name brands. A cowboy is how they want to reach their American customer base. They gave us a cowboy

moghedien

Here he is, the Aldi Cowboy

depsidase

i want to do a painting of a tiger taking a bath to put in a bathroom (bathroom-themed bathroom) and to this end i made a little maquette out of clay and i suspect this will scope creep into having both a painting and sculpture of a tiger or perhaps only a sculpture of a tiger. if i do both should they be displayed together or separately

Tiger maquette by the way 🐅

Working on cutting out a large piece of wood to do the painting on, which is a constraint that will either be really fun or really annoying. Maybe both

Wood primed and underpainted and sketch transferred mostly by cutting it out in different chunks and tracing around them. Stripes to be determined. Nobody let me work on this again for at least two weeks

The finished Ms. Tigers

smoothjazzdigit

Have you guys seen that clip

Go off Kermit

juliathefacesofevil

we're just normal men

oddjoblin

Why the heck is this dude trying to confirm if the frog puppet is hetrosexual???

karnalesbian

assessing the situation before he shoots his shot

defilerwyrm

Happy Pride to Kermit the Frog, questioning king

What the “haha millennials can’t even make phone calls” crowd fails to appreciate is that making phone calls is a far more user-hostile and physically uncomfortable experience than it was 15-20 years ago.

It used to be you picked up a landline, which had physical buttons and at its smallest was still 3x larger than a smartphone, dialed the actual location you wanted to call (instead of a corporate call center) and you could actually talk to someone with access to the store computer/government records/dinner reservations that actually fucking applied to you.

You could also actually hold the phone with your shoulder without it hurting, which freed your hands up to cook or eat, or type on a computer, etc. it didn’t require an accessory you had to keep charged. It was built into the phone’s physical design!!!

It sucks more to do phone calls now! Like it just does!!!

The most mundanely dehumanizing experience I’ve had in the last few years was when I called a domino’s to troubleshoot a pizza order and they directed me to a call center in a different state.