i’ve been a coward for too long. i should have just killed myslef long ago. does it matter? nothing will have changed. i’m a coward for being scared of what other side would be waiting for me. i’ve been asking what i’m here for. i’ve never had an answer. i’m ashamed of not knowing what to do. i’m ashamed of having wasted support from my parents and turning into nothing. if i kill myself now no one would even notice at least for a few days. only when it starts to smell. who fucking cares. i get put in a casket, not even blessed because i ended it in sin. people never seen in ages would be crying tears and let out words like i’ve been a saint in memory. and then get buried 6 feet under. then get buried for ever. not one more tear would be shed. cause absolutely nothing would change
