existentialisme

[sasha-wardx-blog]

Sasha nodded “I know you can Eva” she paused as a lump began forming in her throat and she struggled not to cry. She couldn’t even imagine how hard this much be for her wife but Sasha hoped that maybe if she showed Eva how much she cared about her it would be enough to make her want to get better. “I’ll be right by your side the entire time.” 

[drlowell]

“I’ve let you down...” Not only had she let herself down, the woman she loved most was ready to leave her if it meant her stopping all of it. However, it wasn’t as simple as that. Of course Eva wanted to stop but it was an addiction and she didn’t feel in control. Wrapping her arms around her wife, the small blonde sobbed. “I’m so sorry.”

[sasha-wardx-blog]

The last thing Sasha wanted to do was to leave Eva when she was like this but she knew if she didn’t get rid of the box now something would happen and she wouldn’t be able to get to it later. Her heart was pounding as she walked up the stairs and into Eva’s bedroom. Sasha was able to find the box easily and carried it into the bathroom where she started throwing the contents of the box into the toilet, her hands were shaking and she felt sick about what she was doing to Eva but it had to be done. She flushed the toilet and quickly shoved the box in the trash before heading back down the stairs. Sasha knelt down on the floor beside Eva gently stroking her hair “It’s going to be alright” she murmured “We’re going to get through this.” 

[drlowell]

Hearing the flush made her panic slightly; the woman didn’t believe she could function without them. They had kept her calm but in the end, they only ended up breaking her further. Head against the side of the counter, Evangelina couldn’t look back at her when she felt her caress her hair.  At this moment, the blonde didn’t believe the other. Everything was going to be difficult for her; she was a doctor and knew what withdrawal was like. In Eva’s head she was already thinking about ways to get her next fix as all the others were gone. “I don’t know if I can.”

[beckyxbaker]

“You can’t be afraid of the world for the rest of your life time though. Plus no need to worry I was with August.”

[drlowell]

“What, so that makes it okay? I’m talking from experience and I don’t want anything happen to you. You can maybe actually listen to what I’m saying to you and pretend to give a damn.”

[beckyxbaker]

“You know that I always go out exploring. Didn’t think that I’d have too tell you where I was.”

[drlowell]

“It doesn’t mean I don’t worry, though. What if something happened to you? The world is not a safe place, Liv, and the sooner you realise that, the better.”

[emiliesullivan-blog1]

“but i’ve finished everything i have to do, which is why i started watching these videos.”

[drlowell]

“Then why are you asking me to motivate you?”

[sasha-wardx-blog]

“Thank you for telling me.” she said, gently kissing Eva on the cheek. Sasha couldn’t help but feel proud of her wife for telling her where she hid them and she hoped that this was a could be a step in the right direction. “It’s okay Eva, I’m going to be right back okay?” 

[drlowell]

The kiss on her cheek was one of comfort but it also made her feel bad; the other was supporting her when she clearly didn’t deserve it. Nodding towards her as tears continuously fell. “Okay.” Eva could only whimper at that point as she lowered herself onto the cold floor. 

[beckyxbaker]

“I found this really cool hiking trail today around town and boy was the view amazing! I’m really disappointed that I didn’t bring my art supplies with me on my journey. Looks like I’ll have to go back there another day just to draw it all out.”

[drlowell]

“I wish you’d have let me know, I was really worried about you, Liv.”

[emiliesullivan-blog1]

“i really need someone to motivate me to do something productive instead of watching paint mixing videos.”

[drlowell]

“Do your work firstly, then you won’t feel so guilty.”

[michaelmunrces]

   “damn, am i happy to be home.. travelling always makes me exhausted to say the very least. i need a glass of wine and a long massage right about now!!”

[drlowell]

“Sounds like my kind of night.”

[sasha-wardx-blog]

For a second Sasha stood completely still for a moment, unsure of what to do but when Eva started getting more upset she wrapped her arms around her. Sasha felt like her heart was breaking into two hearing her wife cry like that. “We’ll work it out eventually Eva” she said softly “and you know the separate beds weren’t always going to be a permanent thing.” 

[drlowell]

Finally feeling the other’s arms around her made her cry harder. Eva had felt so alone and felt like Sasha had been against her; for once, they were on the same side. ”It feels like it.” If she could just sort herself out, it wouldn’t be a problem. The blonde was thinking about how much she was betraying her, even now. She didn’t want it to end but fessing up was what she needed to do. “They’re in the brown shoe box on the bookshelf.” At this point, Eva was sobbing uncontrollably and felt the loss of control like she never had before. It was shameful but she needed to get rid of them. “I’m really sorry.”

[sasha-wardx-blog]

“I love you too” she said softly, the words catching in her throat a little. Sasha had always loved her wife, but over time it had began to fade a little, turning into frustration. Her brow furrowed in concern when she saw that Eva was upset, Sasha was usually the one who cried all the time  “Are you sure you’re okay?” 

[drlowell]

Tears started to stream down her face as the other returned the words; she didn’t expect her to. Eva felt like she had lost all kinds of respect but was still clinging to the persona that she had worked so hard to achieve. Shaking her head, the little blonde stepped closer to the woman. “I’m not okay...This is not okay.” Her words were quiet as she had difficulty pushing them out. “Being in separate bedrooms is not okay...I’m really sorry.”

[greenlcntern]

“okay, well, sorry,” he mumbled, shuffling his weight awkwardly. adults were always so angry and miserable for no reason. valentine never wanted to be one of them; it was hard enough asking people for favors. “like, it only takes two seconds to write a refill for a prescription, i didn’t think it’d be such a big deal, but whatever. sorry for bothering you on your time off from a very busy day of capitalizing off people’s insecurities and everything.”

[drlowell]

If the young man meant to anger her, he had succeeded. However, her mood was not stable and she grew irritated with others very quickly. “Hey! That’s only okay when I say it! I didn’t work through medical school to be treated like this. It requires hard work and skill, even reconstruct faces, so don’t you dare make it sound easy.”

[sasha-wardx-blog]

“I’m glad to hear that.” She had always hoped that maybe someday her wife might get better, even if Sasha expressed that through anger sometimes. “I’ll probably never get used to that, thankfully it hasn’t happened in a while though.” 

[drlowell]

If Sasha knew that she had been taking drugs, they would have ended right them and there; if only she felt like she could tell her wife what had happened, maybe then she would have still been there. “I love you, you know, Sash.” Eva hadn’t been that overemotional person who was always crying but her mood was stabilised and she couldn’t do anything but cry.

[sasha-wardx-blog]

“Why couldn’t you get back to sleep? Are you okay?” Sasha asked “Thank you” she said with a smile, Sasha had just thrown on the first thing she’d seen so she wasn’t sure if she looked lovely or not, but she appreciated the compliment. 

[drlowell]

Eva couldn’t remember the last time the woman had actually asked her that question, it was nice to hear them. However, she had to be okay and couldn’t admit to the other that she had taken a stimulant. The woman knew that she disappointed the other and didn’t want to add to the drama. “I’m fine, yes. Just routine, you understand that. Though, it's more so you that gets called out in the middle of the night."

[sasha-wardx-blog]

@drlowell

They had a rule, for their children’s birthdays they had to stop fighting and try to be nice to each other. Sometimes this was easier said than done though and Sasha was hoping that today was going to be one of the good ones. She got out of bed slowly and crept down the stairs to the kitchen so she could start making breakfast but Evie was already standing there.”Oh um good morning, I didn’t think you’d be awake yet.” 

[drlowell]

I was difficult for Evangelina to accept the fact that she was the reason that they had grown so far apart, arguing with each other at any time they could. The blonde loved the woman and she needed to show it. “Morning. I couldn’t get back to sleep so I’ve been up for a whole. You look lovely this morning.”

[alexward-lowell-blog]

Alex raised an eyebrow at the reaction she received. “Okay then,” she said slowly, trailing off. “Well, they’ll be in the kitchen if you change your mind.”

[drlowell]

“Why are you looking at me like that?” The young woman looked u[set with her and hat made her very defensive.

[wangparker]

‘ What a great way to make me feel welcome in my own home. – I just came to tell you that I’m home and if you need me I’ll be upstairs. ’

[drlowell]

Oh, give me a break, Len. I’ve had a long, hard day. I wasn’t aware you wanted a royal welcome.”