Dropstitchwitch

Modern red mage - a bit of everything. I write, draw, game, knit and various other crafty things. So expect a mismash of shit to show up here.

[froschkuss]

Eirlys Trevelyan for @dropstitchwitch

Thank you again :)

||Commission Info|| ||ko-fi||

[froschkuss]

ARTBOOK BALANCE [Error 404] PRE-ORDER

Hello folks now there is the pre-order post x)

This lil book contains all the Art I did in the past two years (including a bit of 2017). Meaning all the Dragon Age art x) some other fandoms and a bunch of original stuff. And of course art that I never shared on tumblr. The book has 206 pages, half of them in color. It contains doodles, sketches, mini comics and full art.

The infos: Pages: 206 (b/w, greyscale and color) Format: Din A5 (5.8 x 8.2) Price: 30€ (shipping included) Payment: Paypal! I will send an invoice as soon as I get the pre-order

And here is the goodle doc: Pre-Order Doc

If you have any questions, shoot me a message :)

[dropstitchwitch]

Omg omg omg 😀

[iwantasecretgarden]

Things I Didn’t Know Were Symptoms of C-PTSD

Getting overwhelmed in crowds

Getting upset or angry at a loud alarm

Ordinary nightmares (that have nothing to do with the circumstances, just stupid nightmares much more often than the average person)

Getting sharp pains in your back/neck/collarbones that make it hard to breathe (due to hypervigilance/constant high anxiety)

Learning that “high anxiety” does not mean “generalized anxiety” like other people have with panic attacks and not feeling that they can accomplish thing. PTSD anxiety just means this frenetic energy that makes you want to talk/think/do things (even as an introvert) to avoid stopping.

Feeling constantly bored like you have to chase after something, even if you’re just at home: I spend hours on tumblr, pinterest, watching tv, reading books, making art, never just laying there alone…because if you stop…the darkness is there

Thinking up stories before bed. This is a symptom of high anxiety because you’re trying to calm down and fall asleep in a “safe world” where people are looking out for you and caring for you.

Trouble falling asleep (which is distinct from insomnia) because turning off electronics etc. doesn’t help since your heartrate/fight or flight response is engaged

Periods of racing heart (mine has gotten to 120bpm for five hours) that make you feel like you’re waiting for something to happen

Exaggerated startle response. When I was a kid I used to hide behind corners to surprise my sisters. Two years ago my friend hid under my desk to scare me. I literally screamed, fell out of the chair, and started crying. She was laughing because she thought the joke went well, and then got concerned because I kept crying.

Purposefully “tanking” a bad day with sad music/tv/movies/books because it “was already ruined anyway”

[dropstitchwitch]

I have a problem...

Loving Mass Effect: Andromeda. My favorite squad is Peebee and Jaal, and because my Ryder has a sense of humor as bad as my own she makes this horrific joke. - Sara grinned at the exile that had cornered them in the Kadara Slums. Using her thumb to gesture behind her she spoke. "This is PB and that's J. I'm the bread and together we're the sandwich of awesome that's going to kick your ass!" The exile stared, either in confusion or shock. Behind Peebee groaned. "Ryder...No." Jaal sighed as the exile rushed off, he almost wished he could join the man. He'd expected many things from these aliens, he hadn't expected a sense of humor so bad it could be used as a weapon. "What?" Sara looked back to Peebee and Jaal, she huffed. "It wasn't that bad!" "It really was Ryder, it really was" Jaal nodded in agreement with Peebee. Sara's retort was cut off by SAM. "Pathfinder, while your joke did succeed in preventing the attempt at robbery there are much more effective methods available to you."

[elfrooted-archives]

what is it? a giveaway, from us, with prizes for you. because we can. because it’s a good excuse to celebrate friendship and because we wanted to celebrate our 1st year anniversary because we love each other and we love you, and we thought we could combine everything in order to make as many muffins as possible happy! 

how do you participate? the giveaway is for our followers (you don’t have to be following the both of us, only one of us!). simply fill out this form, and that’s it! no need to like or reblog (though you can, if you wanna spread the word!). winners will be picked randomly and notified on saturday august 13th, 12:01pm EST. 

P R I Z E S

10 sketches, all drawn live on @froschkuss‘ stream, sunday, august 14th, 12:01pm EST. might pick more winners, depending on kacha’s levels of energy! you’ll have one day to think about what you’d like to request, and please make sure to provide refs if need be! once notified, you’ll have 12 hours to respond, otherwise another winner will be picked. Examples: x x x x || Restrictions: no furry, no gore, no abusive theme whatsoever. NSFW requests allowed. Dragon Age themes preferred, but not obligatory. Everyone is welcome to join the stream, whether you win or not.

2x copies of Swords & Broken Shields’ comic (you must be 18+ in order to receive this prize).

1x Mabari Plush 

1x Alistair 4.5″ Figure

1x Dragon Age Minimates Box Set

good luck ♥

[dropstitchwitch]

Ohmygodyes! *Squirms in excitement* caaant wait for Saturday now. .

[dropstitchwitch]

Finally finished chapter two! *Dance*

[dropstitchwitch]

Stories

https://www.gofundme.com/4exh8jc4I’ve been fairly quiet the last few days dealing with personal things.  Namely my mother’s passing. Sadly it wasn’t the MS she fought, nor was it simply her time. She committed suicide. Making this even harder she had no life insurance or savings to help pay for funeral costs.  I simply don’t have enough to cover all the funeral costs.  So I want to stress to everyone. 

1. Make sure you have a will and life insurance or plans in place to take care of you when you shuffle off this mortal coil.

 2. Everyone has a story to tell, don’t end yours early. I hate cliff hangers damn it.  

PS, there are agencies to help people considering suicide. I don’t know who you’d call outside the USA but within the States there’s the  National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at  1 [phone]. Help is out there, please find it. 

While I do feel like a greedy jerk for it, I do need help so...

https://www.gofundme.com/4exh8jc4

[dropstitchwitch]

5 lines meme...kinda

5 line tag

So, I’m doing five lines from various things in writing or working on right now. Mostly Dragon Age with a bit of original in there too. And it’s probably more than one line, more like 5 small passages… yeah…this got away from me, and instead of lines they became passages. Whoops. Tagged by @therutherfordwife Psst, @bumblepox do the thing!

1. Cullen leaned against the door way to the front room, Thom Blackwall - his landlord and owner of Griffon House - was cursing at the television. “Smarmy asshole” The bear of a man grumbled, Cullen couldn’t help a laugh. “I don’t think they can hear you Thom” Recruit barked in agreement. Thom turned on the couch, looking over his shoulder. “Please don’t tell me your a supporter of this cocksucker” Thom jerked his thumb towards the TV, which was showing the latest poll results for the Vicount race, which the aforementioned cocksucker, Seth Amladaris was apparently winning. Cullen made a face. “Sweet Maker no” Thom nodded in approval and sat back down. “Good. So, what’s your plan for the day?”

2. The wind pulled at her hair as she walked along the battlements, gaze drawn downward to the road that winded upwards to Skyhold. A road that still stood empty, where was he? Eirlys sighed, leaning against the stone, staring towards the horizon, hoping for a sign of her Commanders return. A hope that seemed less likely with each passing day he and his men were missing.

3. Dorian Pavus, scion of House Pavus sneered in contempt at the paltry offering laid before him. “This is hardly what I requested.” He turned to face the slave kneeling at his feet and his lips twitched. Then he burst out laughing, Bull in chains and trying to appear humble and subservient did not work. “I can’t do this, get up you loveable oaf.” Bull grinned and climbed to his feet. “Aww Kadan you said we’d roleplay one of my fantasy’s finally.” Bull pulled Dorian to his chest, large hand splayed against the mages bare back. A back that was shaking with quiet laughter. “I can’t, you dressed like that.” Dorian pulled at the sheer gauzy material that counted as Bulls outfit of the night. “It’s just so…” “Garish? Hilarious?” “Unrealistic, if you really want to be submissive to me…like this. I will try again, but..” Bull laughed. “No worries Kadan, it didn’t turn out as hot as I thought it would ” Dorian heaved a sigh of relief, both that the awkward scene was over and that Bull wasn’t the sex God he always seemed to be.

[dropstitchwitch]

I wrote a thing! It's not very long for the first chapter, but I'm super excited!

[talentless-unintelligent-failur]

True fact: almost everyone on tumblr will ever read any of these post, the true fact Saturday posts I’m doing today.

Want to know why, because my blog is not popular and is overlooked and people only care about popular stuff.

[dropstitchwitch]

Fuck popular. FUCK it. Striving to be popular is like pushing a giant rock up a steep hill, it’s pointless. Instead of wishing you could be someone else I want you to stop and think about what you have done in your life. Then amend that with j did this WHILE my brain was trying to eat itself. While I thought I sucked I still got up I still took care of myself. Yeah some people may have accomplished more in their life, but chances are really fucking good they did so without having their own brain tell them it sucked all the time. Without viewing all their mistakes as character flaws. You wouldn’t tell someone who was in a wheelchair they sucked at life because they have difficulty with some things so why is it OK for you to view your accomplishments as less than when you did them while dealing with emotional impairment? Because that’s what depression and self hatred is. Our emotions are screwed up. It’s more difficult for us to realize that a small mistake is just small. We few it as a horrible character flaw when it’s not. Give yourself some slack Hun.

[talentless-unintelligent-failur]

@dropstitchwitch I personally haven’t accomplished anything that’s worthy in the 32 years I’ve been on Earth. I wish I could say I did this awesome thing or that awesome thing but I can’t. I would never tell anyone who is disabled or less fortunate than me that they are nothing or their accomplishments are nothing because I know they are something and I know they are awesome and perfect and I wish I could be awesome and amazing as them. I wish I had your courage and thinking, I think you are awesome and I wish I was as awesome as you.

[dropstitchwitch]

You have accomplished something worthwhile. You're alive, you're up and breathing. You take care of yourself and Gibbs. That IS an accomplishment when your mind tells you horrible things about yourself. Thank you for calling me courageous. A few years ago I'd disagree with you. Everything you talk about, calling yourself selfish, thinking everyone is better at things. Everything. I said too, but I gave up. I stopped trying, I stopped everything. It nearly freaking killed me. It took a while but thankfully I'm still here and I'm getting better. What helped the most was realizing that the voice that says I'm selfish or I'm a failure IS NOT ME. Its my depression, my mental illness, the product of the chemical imbalance that makes life a living hell and the product of years of abuse from others. Doesn't matter if what I faced wasn't that bad compared to other people. I'm not them. I have PTSD, me saying that does not diminish the suffering of others. I took to calling that voice my inner cunt. But I'm a very very vulgar person. I've heard others call it the jerk brain. Regardless it is not you. It is not truth, it is a lie. Sadly we can't shut it up, and everyone has one. Some of us just never learned how to control it. That little fucker gets to ride with us through life, trying to tear us down. (I also call it Little Nancy when it sounds like my Mom) I finally put my foot down (with help from a therapist, seriously if you don't have one get one. Best decision I ever made) I told the inner cunt she could ride around in my head but she doesn't get to drive or make decisions. It's not easy but I contradict her at every turn. 'Don't draw, you suck anyway. It's a waste of time and money like you' me: oh really? Well fuck you *draws like a mother fucker* and you know what, I've gotten better at drawing, and more people have agreed with my improvement and thusly the inner cunt isn't as loud.

From my POV Hun you are very brave, and if you need to talk I'm here. And so are several others. I believe in your awesomeness.

[talentless-unintelligent-failur]

I had a one shot up on AO3, not one person left kudos or comments.

I had it up there for two weeks under Dragon Age Inquisition and all Dragon Age tags.

It was a fun experiment and it told me people really don’t care for my writing because my writing sucks.

The story has since been deleted.

Now to those who have hundreds of kudos and comments on your stories: don’t you feel good about yourselves, well I think you all should.

[kimpatsunohoseki]

Their good story doesn’t (and shouldn’t) take from yours; nor should your ‘failure’ make their ‘success’ better. 

I know that I drift in and out of fanfic fandoms all the time (I’m sure others do too). I often look at only one fandom, move to a new one, double back for a bit, look at a few others, and continue this cycle. Sometime I look at multiple fandoms at once and other times only one fandom at a time. I haven’t looked at any new DA stories for about 3 weeks now. I’ve been reading a lot that have to do with sport animes. I haven’t read a new GW one in almost a year. But just because I haven’t been in a fandom for a while doesn’t mean there aren’t good stories I’m missing. 

I don’t think 2 weeks is long enough for you to get a good sense of the fandom. I know that there are people that read old stories simple because I have people comment on my stories from 2011 on ff.net. Put your story back up and try to give people a chance. It might take some time for people to read it but don’t give up. Look at the amount of “Hits” your story gets instead of “Kudos” or “Comments”. Sometime people read something but don’t leave anything. That’s not a bad thing.

[talentless-unintelligent-failur]

I just get so frustrated when I see a story that has been up on AO3 for 24-48 hours and it has 20 comments and 100 kudos and hundreds of hits. When I see stuff like this and then look at my stories which have zeros across the board I think what’s the point? It just tells me that no one is reading my stuff and I shouldn’t post it. My apologies I know you’re trying to help and I appreciate it and I’m just making it worse.

[dropstitchwitch]

Hun sometimes you got to give it time. Some people look for specific authors. When you're starting you start small. You're not going to get slammed with hits and comments right away. Heck you've got several DA fans on your tumblr. When you post something on AO3 share it here. We'll know to go in, and we'd probably be reposting it. You can't let lack of feedback get you down. Many of the people you read dealt with the same thing when they first started posting fanfics or fanart. But they kept at it and then they started getting comments. Also writing fan fics or drawing fan art is not about what others think, we do it because we enjoy it. We share it because we want others to enjoy it too. I may not share my fanfics and fan art (though I'm trying to feel more secure about my abilities there and I want to start posting more stuff) but I still write them and draw them. Because they make me happy. I don't care if a random person on the internet thinks they suck, I had fun writing or drawing them. That's all that matters. And btw, I've found that the people who take the time to leave insulting comments do so because their too insecure to even try so they need to tear down the people who try. Seriously. Those of us who do draw and write tend to leave feedback meant to help someone improve. Any suggestion for someone to stop creating is not made from a good opinion or idea, it's made from jealousy only. Post your stuff, even if you think it sucks because guess what you have friends who want to see it and who will help you improve of you actually need help. Haters are going to hate, so give them something to hate by giving them the best fuck you ever. To keep on doing what makes you awesome.

[talentless-unintelligent-failur]

No one really cares about my Dragon Age oc’s it’s all lies.

[dropstitchwitch]

Hey now, I disagree. I'm not a liar, darling. I think they're awesome and wish you'd post more.

[talentless-unintelligent-failur]

My original posts are pathetic and boring that’s why this blog is not popular.

Now I’m just repeating myself because I’m a loser and no one even notices because me along with my blog are invisible.

[dropstitchwitch]

Nope. Your brain is lying to you. You are not invisible, you are not pathetic, you are not a loser. You are amazing and kind. I've only talked to you for a short period of time and I already like you so deal with it ;) if you can't see your awesomeness then I'll tell you about it whenever you post these thoughts.

[talentless-unintelligent-failur]

True fact: almost everyone on tumblr will ever read any of these post, the true fact Saturday posts I’m doing today.

Want to know why, because my blog is not popular and is overlooked and people only care about popular stuff.

[dropstitchwitch]

Fuck popular. FUCK it. Striving to be popular is like pushing a giant rock up a steep hill, it's pointless. Instead of wishing you could be someone else I want you to stop and think about what you have done in your life. Then amend that with j did this WHILE my brain was trying to eat itself. While I thought I sucked I still got up I still took care of myself. Yeah some people may have accomplished more in their life, but chances are really fucking good they did so without having their own brain tell them it sucked all the time. Without viewing all their mistakes as character flaws. You wouldn't tell someone who was in a wheelchair they sucked at life because they have difficulty with some things so why is it OK for you to view your accomplishments as less than when you did them while dealing with emotional impairment? Because that's what depression and self hatred is. Our emotions are screwed up. It's more difficult for us to realize that a small mistake is just small. We few it as a horrible character flaw when it's not. Give yourself some slack Hun.

[talentless-unintelligent-failur]

My blog sucks and is terrible, I wish I could do awesome stuff so my blog was as popular as others.

I wish just once one of my posts would get 100 notes, I’ve never been popular before and I want to know what that’s like.

I can’t draw nor write so people don’t like my blog so I don’t get hundreds of likes or reblogs on a single post.

I like playing pretend that I get hundreds and thousands of notes on my posts.

And people wonder why I call myself selfish.

[dropstitchwitch]

Wanting things is not selfish. You can want all the things ever and still not be selfish. Selfish is wanting something even at the detriment of someone else. You'd be selfish if you took others stuff and said it was yours but you don't. You constantly give praise and compliments. Selfish people don't do that because they don't care about anyone but themselves. What my therapist told me, which has helped me a lot because I used to call myself selfish all the time. If you're selfish you don't see it. Calling yourself selfish is a very very good sign that you are NOT selfish.

[talentless-unintelligent-failur]

I’m the only one who makes mistakes when typing an original post, no one else on tumblr has ever made the kind of mistakes I’ve made.

Everyone else on tumblr is perfect and I’ll never know what it’s like to be perfect and go one day with out making a mistake.

I am a mistake.

[dropstitchwitch]

Oh Hun, no one is perfect. At least you post and repost. I wrote responses to people all the time, write drabbles and fanfics but never hit post because I'm scared they suck. You don't see my mistakes because I'm too scared to even try most days.

[talentless-unintelligent-failur]

We don't care about how your stuff compares to other people's. We want your stuff because you made it. ...I feel like I could use some of my own advice.

Thank you, I just feel my followers deserve better than my horrible quality pictures and videos, I feel like you’re all entitled to it.  I’ve been raised to always think of others first and put yourself last, I want to put my followers first but I’m not doing that by giving you guys my horrible stuff.  Its so frustrating I don’t know what to do.

[dropstitchwitch]

We follow you because we like what you post. Not because we want perfection. If your posts weren't up to par we wouldn't have followed you. :)