Unexpected Mistakes
here's the fenn pregnancy fic i finally finished! it is so much longer than i anticipated it being but hopefully it's okay! also posted to a03 now. :)
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Drip. Drip. Drip.
The bathroom was completely and entirely silent, except for the leaking faucet on the other side of the bathroom. The two of us stood, holding our breath and not daring to move toward the counter to check on the test that laid on the corner. It had certainly been enough time now. Surely it’d be negative. I cast my eyes to the right.
Beside me, Sherry was standing stock still with her clenched fists raised up around her face. I laughed a bit derisively and gave her shoulder a light punch.
“How are you more nervous about this than me?” I joked. There was no way she was, but seeing her concern was endearing and very, very Sherry.
Sherry let out a deep breath and squared her shoulders resolutely as she turned to face me. “I don’t know, but I have the strong feeling that everything will be different for you once we look at it,” she said. She cast a golden glance toward the counter again. “Tell me now, if it’s positive… can I be the godmother?”
I burst out laughing despite the knot of nerves gathering in my stomach. The thought of it being positive was something I could hardly wrap my mind around, so it almost felt like a joke for her to ask despite her serious expression. “Sure, of course, Sherry. You and Violet both, whenever I have a baby, you can be their unofficial aunts and godmothers.”
Sherry gave me a solemn nod, then angled her head toward the test. “Shall I be the one to look, or you? Or together?” she asked, then extended a hand to me, which I gratefully took and squeezed.
I took a deep breath and tried to swallow the tension in my throat. “Together please.”
“Alright then. One… two… three.” Sherry counted out and the two of us stepped forward and looked directly down.
Pregnancy tests in Saligia, I’d found out, used the same essential mechanisms as the various pregnancy tests back home on earth, but primarily used a pinprick of blood rather than urine and were created differently for thaumaturges and mundanes. The thaumaturge one I’d had Sherry discreetly steal out of the infirmary for me was created especially to pick up on the mix of hormones and pregnancy-specific magic, for increased accuracy. It was a small, round thing with a clear, white glowing middle that once having collected the blood would turn colors like a mood ring- filtering through a litany of rainbow colors for a few minutes until arriving at a final color that indicated either a negative or positive result.
It was purple.
Sherry gasped.
“What?! What does that mean?! Sherry, what does purple mean?!” I demanded, panicking and turning to grab both her hands. She seemed pale, shocked, dazed. I felt sicker watching her. Slowly, her eyes met mine and she tried to smile, but failed.
“...You’re pregnant. Very pregnant, if the intensity of that color is any indication,” Sherry choked out. Sure enough, the color of the test was a rich, vibrant purple with swirling colors that nearly pulsed with light.
I felt the blood drain from my head and I stumbled back to sit down on the edge of the bathtub. “Ohhhhhhhh my god, Sherry…” I hissed out in a whisper. I let my head fall into my hands and gripped my hair. My heart was beating a million miles a minute and I swore it’d somehow migrated up into my ears. I could hardly hear her as she knelt on the floor in front of me and pried my fingers out of my hair.
She took both my hands in hers and squeezed. “MC, look at me. Look at me, breathe.”
“I can’t, I can’t, how did this happen?! I mean, I know how this happened but I didn’t think spells failed,” I moaned. “Since when do contraception spells fail, Sherry?!”
Sherry gave an awkward smile. “They usually don't. Unless forgotten, of course.”
I tipped my head back and stared up at the ceiling. The ringing in my ears and pounding in my head felt even worse as time went on. I couldn’t bring my mind around the idea of it. The concept of being pregnant had always felt distant, something to worry about in some unknown future, and with… well, Fenn’s prior activities, I'd had every reason to think he was extremely adept at prevention. I couldn’t think of a time we’d forgotten. And speaking of Fenn…
“My god, Sherry, I’m pregnant with Fenn’s baby,” I wheezed out. I blinked down at her sympathetic face, which was twisted into an expression I was sure was meant to be comforting or reassuring. “I don’t have any idea how he’ll feel about this.”
“If there’s anything I do know…” Sherry murmured, placing a resolute hand on my knee, “it’s that Prince Fenn loves you very, very much.”
“Oh god, I almost forgot he’s a prince!” I wailed and buried my face in my hands again. “Oh my god oh my god this is so much worse than I realized!”
Sherry panicked a bit and stood to her feet, yanking me up to stand with her. She pulled me into her arms and gave me a squeeze. “It will be fine, I promise you! MC, breathe with me! In… Out… In…”
I mimicked her breathing and caught a sidelong image of myself in the mirror, hunched pathetically over her shoulder. I looked ragged and scared. There were tear tracks running down my face that I hadn’t felt earlier so I reached up and wiped my face with the heel of my palm. Once my breathing had calmed somewhat, Sherry held my hands tightly in hers and gave me a solemn nod.
“No matter what, I am with you,” she declared. She then furrowed her brows and gave my hands a squeeze. “You should tell Fenn as soon as possible.”
My heart leapt into my throat. “No!” I shouted a bit louder than I intended to. “...No,” I whispered. “...not yet. I don’t even know if I… if I want to keep it yet. I just… I need some time to sort it out. Besides, I’m not sure if I could bear it right now if he were upset.”
Sherry sighed and nodded. “Fair enough. It can stay between us. Though, in my opinion, in a difficult time one needs support…” She brought her hand up to tap her chin thoughtfully. “Oh!”
“What?”
“...We should tell Violet!”
I grabbed her by the shoulders. “Absolutely not! Do you know what she’d do to Fenn if she found out?! She already threatened to beat him to death with a wine bottle if he ever broke my heart, I have no idea what she’d do if she found out he’s knocked me up! Oh god…” An intense nausea came to my throat and I turned away from her with a hand to my mouth. I felt almost dizzy so I leaned over the counter and pressed my forehead to the cool smooth stone of the countertop. Sherry placed a sympathetic hand on my back.
“I see your point,” Sherry murmured. “Though, I really do think you should plan to tell Fenn soon. I mean, I’m sure he’ll notice that you’re not feeling like your usual self.”
“You’re right about that..” I mumbled against the counter. That was one of the things about Fenn that could be both a blessing and a curse: he could read me like an open book. He didn’t always pry, but there were no real secrets on my part. If I was bothered by something, he could always tell and I was kidding myself if I thought I could go very long without him getting too curious to leave it alone. He’d either pull the information out of me, or I’d tell him.
I took a deep breath and stood up straight, trying to recalibrate. Rolling my shoulders back I faced Sherry and gestured to the door. “We have class soon,” I choked out. “We’d better get going. I… I’ll tell him before the end of the week. I promise.”
—-----
So it would figure, Fenn was my last class’ professor that day. I managed to, somehow, miraculously, dodge him before and between classes until then by taking odd routes and ducking around pillars and bookcases. Usually in most spare time we had, he’d mob me from behind and hang over my shoulders like some kind of heavy purple cloak. Our regular song-and-dance routine was him finding and latching on to me, me pretending to be annoyed by it, and him teasing reactions out of me, but truthfully I enjoyed it. It was nice to know that he was seeking me out. It just became a bit of a problem in the situation that, say, he’d unknowingly impregnated you and you were afraid you’d vomit your feelings onto his shoes if he touched you.
“Time to face the music,” I mumbled to myself while trudging along to class.
“But this isn’t a music class?”
I nearly jumped out of my skin at the sudden voice beside me, who turned out to be Rio heading to the same class. He looked down at me, puzzled. Our next class was an A rank class. I’d elevated my rank a few months earlier and Rio had taken and passed his test only a few weeks ago, so we had many of our classes with Sherry together as a trio. She’d had a prior engagement between classes and had gone a different route, so I thought I’d be walking alone.
“Oh, hello Rio. I didn’t notice you until just now,” I said, patting his arm. “Sorry, it’s just a phrase. It’s not music class, you’re right.”
“Is everything alright?” he asked. Rio was in many ways my paramour’s exact opposite with one exception: like Fenn, if something was bothering you, he could always tell. His lower lip jutted out in concern as he peered at me. “You seem down somehow.”
I laughed awkwardly. “I’m okay. I just feel kind of unwell today, that’s all. I just didn’t sleep enough probably.”
“You could skip and go rest?”
I shook my head. Frankly, I needed to see Fenn today, if just to dispel some of the nerves I was feeling. Some of it had to just be that I was building things up in my head; making mountains out of molehills. Surely I’d see him and know exactly what to say and do. “No, I can make it through. I’ll rest after. Thank you, though.”
We arrived at class and joined Sherry to sit in our usual formation. As per usual, Fenn was fashionably late and was the last person to arrive. As he did, Sherry reached under the desks to give my hand an encouraging squeeze. Unfortunately this didn’t stop the onslaught of nausea and nerves that assaulted me as soon as I saw him. Our eyes met and his face lit up. A second wave hit me then- this time guilt. I tried to summon a smile.
“Hulloa, class… Treasure,” he greeted us, giving me in particular a wink. Since we’d become exclusive a year ago, he’d sworn off dating others and in an attempt to drive that home had been fairly heavy-handed with the PDA- not that he was going to stop now that people understood, however. I squirmed in my seat and nodded at him. For a brief moment he seemed to pause as if puzzled by my reaction, but continued into lecturing without pressing the matter.
The first half of class was the lecture, and the second half was practical application of what we’d learned. Once we’d completed the related task, we were free to leave. These days Sherry and I were quick to finish but usually stayed a bit later to give Rio assistance. Today, however, my brain felt like scrambled eggs. The task before me involved changing the form of a particular hard object. Changing water to ice was easy, but changing a chunk of metal into a key or a thimble was less so. Still, I’d usually take about fifteen minutes for a harder task. But there I was, thirty minutes in and accomplishing nothing. As students filed out from the room, my anxiety only increased. It was only a matter of time until…
“Struggling today, are we?”
I looked up. He was directly in front of me on the other side of my desk, leaning across to get close. The item lying on the desk had molded somewhat, but failed to take on any recognizable shape. I couldn’t focus on that however- I was fixated on studying his face, which was so close to mine that I felt hot and flustered. I knew he couldn’t read minds, but I worried suddenly that he’d gained the ability. I was so fixated on the rising panic and bile in my throat that I forgot to respond.
“Treasure? Are you alright? You seem unwell,” Fenn said. His tone was soft and worried, which made me feel even more terrible. I jumped a bit as he laid the back of his hand to my forehead.
“She said she didn’t sleep enough last night,” Rio volunteered.
Fenn hummed understandingly. “Is that so?” he asked. His hand slid from my forehead to tilt my chin up and force me to look at him. As soon as our eyes met, my stomach churned even worse. Whatever expression I was making must’ve concerned him, as he rubbed his thumb across my cheek and said, “I’d say you’re looking a tad worse for wear than just tired, darling. Are you certain-”
I yanked back and vomited across the desk.
Fenn jumped out of the way and Sherry grabbed my hair back while Rio gasped.
“Well, that answers that question,” Fenn remarked, and with a wave he dismissed the other remaining students. Rio and Sherry helped me to my feet as I scrubbed at my mouth, dazed and still feeling intensely nauseous. Fenn took their place and I leaned into him as he scooped me up like a ragdoll and swiftly made for the infirmary.
“I can walk,” I muttered into his chest.
“No need.” His tone was soft, but firm in a way that suggested any of my usual protesting would be ignored. The thought of being stared at by others in the hallway, especially those other students who’d been in the room, made me cringe so I hid my face with my hands.
“You don’t have to attend lectures if you’re feeling unwell, Treasure,” he murmured. “Sometimes you push yourself too hard.”
“I felt okay until right then, I swear.”
“Mmhm,” he hummed. I could tell he didn’t quite believe me. I felt like I wanted to sink into the floor.
We entered the infirmary, which was empty save for Toa who was standing at the medicine cabinet with a notepad and pen. He turned to face us as Fenn set me down in one of the beds and pressed my shoulders back so I couldn’t immediately try to sit up and leave.
“Sick or injured?” Toa asked.
“Sick.” Fenn answered for me and shot me a look as I tried to sit up and answer.
Toa pulled up a chair and sat beside me. “What happened?”
Resigned to lying down, I sunk against the pillows and sighed. “Vomited.”
“Had you been nauseous before this?”
“Not really. Not until I was in class.” I answered.
“What about now? Any other symptoms?”
“I still feel nauseous. Nothing else has happened.”
Fenn sat on the edge of the bed. “Rio mentioned that you were tired,” he said. He placed a hand on my leg and I jumped a bit. He slowly took his hand back and I looked away, frustrated with myself for my nervousness and unable to deal with the brief look of confusion and hurt that crossed his face.
“Fatigue and nausea. You don’t seem to be running a temperature,” Toa said, after running a thermometer across my forehead. “So whatever it may be doesn’t seem serious. Perhaps just a minor stomach ailment.” He handed me a small bottle of a yellowish liquid. “This is an anti-nausea potion. Take it this evening and rest for the remainder of the day, and if symptoms persist you should come back.”
I nodded and sat up. The situation was so deeply uncomfortable that I was desperate to leave the room as soon as possible. I knew why I’d thrown up and I knew why I’d been tired, but unlike my paramour I was an atrocious liar and knew that if the line of questioning had veered off toward anything indicating pregnancy, I’d end up revealing it to both of them. I shuddered a bit at the thought of it. It was one thing to tell Fenn, but to tell him with an audience? That sounded mortifying.
“Thank you Toa. I’m… I’m going to go to bed now.” I slid off the edge of the bed and slipped guiltily around Fenn’s proffered arm to make for the door. Keeping my head low, I ducked out and into the hall, weaving through people toward the women’s dorms.
“Treasure, hold on a moment!”
My ears burned. I pretended like I couldn’t hear him and tried to walk faster, but like usual, he caught up and appeared in front of me, blocking my path right as I stepped onto the first stair.
“Oh… Fenn.” I greeted him through gritted teeth and forced myself to make eye contact. The concern on his face made my stomach drop.
“You’re avoiding me. Why?”
“I’m not. There’s no reason. Um… I’ll see you tomorrow then, excuse me.” I dodged around him and fled up the stairs as quickly as I could, then rushed into my room and collapsed onto my bed, burying my face into my pillow and groaning.
I felt little paw pads land on my back and stomp around. “Milady! What’s the matter?” shouted my familiar. He came up close and gave a rough lick to the shell of my ear. I flipped over onto my back and grabbed him, crushing him to my chest and rolling onto my side. “M-Milady? Are you alright?”
“No,” I mumbled into his fur. “But let me hold you like this for a while and maybe I will be soon.”
“Did something happen?” he squeaked.
“Just a bit of a stomach bug, that’s all.” I sighed to myself and brought one hand down to my lower abdomen. There was a sense in which that wasn’t entirely a lie, but it was nothing that my little cat needed to know about. At least, not right now. With any luck, a good shower and a night of rest would reset me enough to calm down my nerves and formulate a plan for telling Fenn what was happening. Otherwise, I wasn’t sure how I’d face him or how long he’d let me brush him off for. After a good several minutes of holding my cat, he fell asleep and I extracted myself from the bed and walked into the bathroom. The test was still there on the counter where I’d left it, flashing and swirling with intense purple light that in the darkness of the evening seemed to be so intense as to taunt me. I grabbed it and made to chuck it into the trash bin, but thought better of it and threw it into the cabinet underneath the sink. It wasn’t worth the risk of anyone seeing it.
I leaned against the counter toward the mirror. “Look what you’ve done now,” I muttered to my reflection. I turned to my side and pulled up my shirt to run a hand down my relatively flat abdomen, rubbing a palm across the section of skin below my navel. There was no secret hidden sign to locate as of now- nothing that needed disguising. Nobody who saw me would suspect a thing. In a part of my mind, I was waiting to recover from a strange and transient illness, not growing a new human body. It had to be a tiny weird looking little thing at this point, unrecognizable as half me and half Fenn. But I had to wonder: at some point, perhaps seven or eight months from now should nothing happen, there’d be some screaming, wriggling new person, perhaps with Fenn’s hair and my eyes. Perhaps they’d look like my parents- a continuation of them out here in a world they’d never been to. An image of Fenn with a baby in his arms flashed across my mind and my chest grew tight.
“Am I really considering this?” I whispered into my empty bathroom. The political implications alone were terrifying. With Fenn still banished from Luxure and my powers still hidden, it was unclear what the plan of action would be. We’d have to tell the headmaster. The thought of that alone made me shudder. We’d have to tell Fenn’s father and who knows what that would mean- would we be rushed into a wedding and brought to Luxure? How did succession work if you weren’t married? Did that even matter in a place like Luxure? Beyond that, King Louis undoubtedly knew there was something off about me. The last time we’d gone to Luxure, lured there by Kieran, I’d had to break myself free of the king’s ancient magic to use my own on Fenn who’d been beaten within an inch of his life. We were lucky he hadn’t tried harder to investigate. Would my powers be a point in our favor or a detraction?
Still, that image of Fenn with our baby continued to plague me. It was a bit difficult to imagine myself with our baby, but I found that I could somehow imagine him: cradling and carrying them like he’d done earlier with me when rushing me into the infirmary. When I had thought of the future, I’d always figured we’d make a good team for that sort of thing, anyway.
I patted my stomach forlornly. “You’re a problem, you know that?” I said. I blinked. “What the fuck? Am I talking to it?” I groaned and yanked my shirt down before almost immediately ripping it off and jumping into the shower, disgruntled and annoyed with myself. Standing under the water, I let my face fall into my hands. I was caught between a rock and a hard place now. I was completely and utterly terrified to tell Fenn. Telling him would make it feel real in a way I didn’t feel ready for, but there was only so long I could go on keeping the secret. At the same time, he had to know: there was no one else who could help me decide whether or not I wanted to radically alter our futures.
—-------
The following day I felt like a zombie. I mechanically went to my classes, fading in and out of crowds of students and praying no one would notice the haggard look on my face from the lack of sleep I’d had the night previous. Like the day before I managed to dodge Fenn by some miraculous luck. I wondered if maybe I had some additional form of ancient magic that enabled Fenn-specific invisibility when in distress. It was obvious that he was looking for me, as the few times I’d spotted his head above the crowd he was scanning the area like he was searching for something he’d misplaced. On this day in particular I didn’t have any classes with him, which felt like another small miracle. The nausea had settled somewhat, but I figured part of that incident had been brought on simply by the anxiety caused by seeing him.
I completed my classes for the day and joined Sherry for a cup of tea in her room, served by Grayson along with an assortment of large scones that had a lovely floral scent. I sunk into my seat and immediately plucked two of them onto my plate. Sherry gave me a searching look and I sighed as I took a large bite into one.
“The answer is no, I haven’t,” I mumbled.
“Well, when?” Sherry asked, her expression curious. “Perhaps if things were different you could wait longer, but you’ve been acting rather suspiciously.”
“Gee, thanks.”
She shrugged and reached over to refill my teacup, which I’d already drained. “You and Prince Fenn are usually attached at the hip. He’s not the only person who’s going to notice. You’re simply too nervous, then?”
I nodded. “Yeah. I just panic whenever I see him.”
Sherry hummed thoughtfully. “I still say it would be wise to consult Violet...” I opened my mouth to protest and she continued, “...but why don’t we try practicing? I’ll be Fenn, and you can rehearse what you’re going to say to him.”
Her serious expression made me laugh. “I don’t know, you don’t really look anything like him. I’m not sure that’ll work.”
Sherry got up and rifled around in a nearby chest, returning with a large purple blanket around her shoulders and stood beside me. “Try now.” she said, peering downward at me.
I giggled and set down my now empty plate. “Fine, fine. I’ll give it a go if you insist.” I turned to face her and cleared my throat dramatically, then looked up at her. “Fenn, I’m pregnant,” I said flatly. Despite the goofiness of the situation, those three words sent the hair on the back of my neck standing up and goosebumps trailing down my arms.
She shed the blanket and sat down again. “See? You can do that same thing to the real Fenn.”
“Maybe. I don’t know. Hopefully.”
“Perhaps you just need the right setting. Somewhere to set the mood.” Sherry suggested, tapping a finger against her chin.
“Mood? What mood? The mood of panicking?” I laughed and stretched back in my seat. “I mean, there are definitely worse places for me to break the news than others. Like the infirmary.”
Sherry shook her head. “I still say that would’ve been alright timing. Toa wouldn’t have told anyone.”
“Maybe not, but he would’ve gotten all icy and judgmental. You know how much I hate when he does that.”
Both of us burst out laughing and for just a moment, I felt some of the knots of tension dissolve from my shoulders. I leaned forward against my knees and peered across the table at my friend. I was lucky to have her- the kind of friend who’d give you a hug and then push you when needed.
“You know,” I said. “Yesterday evening I started thinking about what it would be like to have a baby.” Sherry sat forward, interested, and I stirred some extra milk and sugar into my tea. “I always sort of figured that he and I would someday, y’know? Right? Anyways. I… I think I like the idea of it. Him and I together, having a baby.” At this Sherry sat up, excited, and I waved my hands in front of my face. “That said, the timing of it is… not good. And I don’t know a lot of things. But… I don’t know. I talked to it.”
“To the baby?”
I cringed a bit. “...Yes. I told it that it's a problem.” I rolled my eyes then stared absently out her bedroom window across the courtyard toward the S-rank dorms. I wondered absently if Fenn was in his room right now. Strangely, I was feeling a bit more confident after speaking with Sherry. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad just to find him now and rip the bandaid off. I sighed and grabbed a third scone, then stood up. “I think I might go try now.”
Sherry brightened up. “Really?!” she shouted. She grabbed my cloak and book back, shoved them into my hands and began to push me toward the door. “Go, then! Before you lose the nerve! Hurry!”
I laughed and allowed her to steer me out. “Okay, alright, I’m going.” My stomach churned a bit but I took a deep breath and shoved down the sense of dread beginning to creep back up. I waved goodbye and began to trudge down the stairs and through the maze of hallways toward the courtyard. I figured I could cut through to save time. The small burst of courage I’d had felt a bit like an untied, leaking balloon- the more time it took to arrive the less likely I’d be to be able to get the words out.
Halfway through the courtyard, a pair of arms were suddenly flung around my shoulders from behind.
“Treasure!”
I yelped and my knees gave out, almost toppling both of us into the grass. He grabbed my arm and spun me around like some complicated dance move, and then pulled me up into his arms. “Fenn?!” I choked out.
His whole expression was bright and cheery. “I’ve been looking for you!” he exclaimed. The clear happiness on his face gave me a rush of guilt.
“I-I’ve been looking for you too,” I stammered. He beamed. I wanted to sink into the ground. The thought of deflating his mood made me feel sick and almost dirty. Stepping back, I wrapped my arms around myself and stared at my shoes. “I just wanted to let you know… that…”
“That…?”
“Uh… I’m feeling better than yesterday,” I lied. I was not feeling better, not really. In a sense, I now felt much worse. “The medicine Toa gave me helped. So I should be fine now. That’s all.”
Fenn nodded. He seemed relieved. “That’s good. I wanted to ask earlier but I couldn’t find you, somehow,” at this, he reached forward to grab my hand and I dodged out of reflex where I would’ve normally reached back. His face fell momentarily but then immediately brightened. “...Treasure, come spend the night with me.”
I blanched. “Huh?”
“Since we’ve seen so little of each other today, spend the night with me. We can make up for lost time in all sorts of ways,” he said, ending on a teasing note and closing the distance between us to curl a lock of my hair around his finger. “What do you say, hm? Since you’re feeling better?”
The way his hand gripped at the fabric on my lower back made me sigh. Any other night, in any other situation, I would’ve fallen easily into his arms, teased him right back, and let him lead me off to his room. Instead, I pushed away gently and stepped back, shaking my head.
“Some… other time. I have to do my homework, and um, my cat, he’ll miss me. He’s having nightmares, so…” I shrugged and laughed nervously. I swung my book bag in front of me like a shield. “IhavetogoIloveyoubye!” I stammered and turned, nearly running back in the direction I came. I heard him take a few steps to chase after me, but give up and stand there, motionless. As I crested the threshold back inside, I caught a glimpse of him still standing there, forlorn.
Like the night before I collapsed into my room and laid on the bed. My cat was gone for the evening, out frolicking with Gruscha, so I was alone and spent most of the evening staring up at the top of my bed canopy.
“Why is this so difficult?!” I whispered. Fenn was good. He’d always been good to me.There was nothing to fear. Maybe he’d even be happy to hear the news somehow. Realistically, I wasn’t afraid of him rejecting or being angry with me, I knew he loved me far too much to do that. But it was exactly that love that made it all feel so terrifying. For the last year and some change, it’d just been us. I liked it that way.
I tried to imagine other ways I could break the news. I could send a letter by carrier hawk. I could speak the words into a spelled bottle and have it delivered to him. “Stupid.” I mumbled. “That’s all stupid.” Irritated, I rolled into my covers in a Lynt-like cocoon and closed my eyes. I’d rest for tonight and reformulate, again. Or maybe I’d just wait until the time felt right. Either way, the second day of not-telling-Fenn passed and I slept fitfully.
—------
I did not tell him by the end of the week.
The next two days were spent either dodging him in the hallways, avoiding eye contact in lectures, or making up excuses like needing to study in the library with Rio and Knight or going shopping with Sherry and Violet, and then somehow convincing him not to just tag along like he often would. It was obvious I was avoiding him and I knew it was obvious, but I couldn’t bring myself to behave normally. Additionally, academy life without him was frankly, kind of boring. I missed him, but I was terrified.
When Thursday rolled around, I retreated to the common room after classes with Sherry and met Rio by our usual set of couches. By this point, Sherry had become increasingly worried about me and spent as much time as she could by my side. I looked worse for wear each passing day. More than once I’d had a valet or an S rank prince approach me in the hall, asking me if I was alright. Tino kept trying to give me bread and Knight kept giving me spare chocolates. Jasper asked if I wanted a sleeping potion and I almost said yes before remembering who I was talking to. Violet, for her part, kept locating me in the women’s dorms and expressing her worry; no doubt by now she’d noticed Fenn’s mood decline as well. I found myself dodging her too.
Rio was seated across from me on the opposite settee. He leaned forward with a worried expression and tapped my cheek. “You don’t look very good, MC.” he said. “Have you been eating?”
“More than usual, actually,” I mumbled. I curled up against the arm of the couch like a cat.
Sherry removed Rio’s hand and sighed at him. “Not everything can be solved by lunch.”
“A lot of things can, though!”
Usually their banter would send me into a fit of giggles but today I lacked the energy for much more than sitting in my classes and feeling time drip past me. I rested my forehead in the crook of my arm and closed my eyes. Sherry placed a hand on my shoulder and rubbed. She leaned close to whisper so that Rio wouldn’t hear.
“If you need someone with you when you tell him, I can be there with you,” she offered.
I shook my head.
“I just hate to see you like this. I feel like you’re wasting away. I mean, if you decide to keep it, there’s no way that’s healthy for the baby.”
“Oh?! You’re having a baby?” Rio asked, loudly. He’d leaned toward us and we hadn’t noticed.
“Rio!” Sherry and I shouted in unison and both lunged forward and slapped a hand over his mouth, muffling him. We peered around the common room- luckily, nobody seemed to have noticed as it was already loud with others’ overlapping conversations.
“Rio, it’s a secret,” Sherry snapped at him. “You can’t just shout it out loud! Nobody else knows yet! And you can’t tell anyone.” She pointed her finger at him and poked him in the chest.
He was bewildered. “But… but having a…” at this, Sherry glared at him and he reformulated his sentence. “But it’s a good thing! Why can’t people know?”
I bit my lip and glanced toward the door and into the hallway. Fenn was sure to be finishing up teaching a B rank class and could walk in to find me at any moment. “Because Fenn doesn’t know yet. And I’m not sure how he’ll feel about it, either. We weren’t trying to do this right now.”
Rio, god bless him, was completely baffled by this. His eyes grew wide and he threw his arms out in emphasis. “Why wouldn’t he be happy?”
I sighed and shook my head, massaging my temples. Sherry rubbed my shoulder and cast an exasperated glance at Rio. “It’s complicated. Anyway, don’t say anything to anyone about it, okay? Promise you won’t!” she demanded.
“Okay,” Rio promised, deflating a bit before brightening up and beaming. “But, MC, once he knows, I know some great recipes for things my mother liked to eat back in the day and I can make them for you! So let me know and I’ll bake you all kinds of dishes!”
I smiled weakly at him. “Thank you, Rio. That’s very kind of you,” I said, and watched on bleakly as he, now sufficiently distracted, began to regale Sherry with the finer details of making a sweet potato pie. At that moment, a familiar pair of hands came up around my shoulders and arms looped around me from behind.
“Good afternoon, Treasure, Princess, Rio,” Fenn greeted us. Undoubtedly he felt me stiffen under his grasp- something I internally berated myself for. Sherry smiled back at him and waved in a manner that was mostly natural, and Rio tensed up like a giant, stiff board, his eyes gone wide and darting everywhere except for Fenn’s face.
“I-I-I… I have to go fencing with Grayson right now! Goodbye!” Rio stammered and rushed from the room at a shockingly quick pace, almost running into both nearby couches, several passing students, and the doorframe on his way out.
Fenn loosed his grip on me and slung one arm around my shoulders. “Well, that was odd. Grayson is usually otherwise occupied at this time. Oh well,” he shrugged off Rio’s behavior and rubbed his hand along my arm and then brought it to my side to pull me in even closer. “If you’ll excuse us Princess, Treasure and I have a date.”
Sherry and I blinked in identical surprise. “She does? O-oh… what an excellent opportunity!” she quipped, giving me a meaningful smile. “You two haven’t been on one lately since she’s been so… busy, these past few days.”
I gave her a mild glare. Fenn’s grip on me tightened. I felt a bit like a child who’d been caught out past curfew.
“Anyways, we’ll be off!” Fenn said cheerily and led me out. We marched out of the building and toward the gates of the Academy practically glued together, and I didn’t resist. Fenn was eerily quiet until we made it through the gates and into town, where he lit up and began acting somewhat normal, though it was clearly forced. He slid his hand into mine and swung it between us as we walked.
“I was thinking we could go to our favorite restaurant today,” he suggested. “Then visit the tavern before heading back to the Academy. How does that sound, Treasure?”
The tavern? Shit. “Um yes that sounds great.” I whispered. I cleared my throat a bit and then smiled stiffly up at him. “That sounds fun.” My voice rose unnaturally and cracked a bit.
He studied me for a moment before nodding and smiling. “Excellent! I’m sure we have plenty to catch up on.”
When we made it to the restaurant, I wracked my brain for what to say. I’d been so consumed with the pregnancy that all else had faded into the background. What else had even happened all week? I’d had classes but hadn’t absorbed much. I’d spent time studying but couldn’t remember what. I’d been spending my mornings throwing up and then wandering into class like a ghost. I decided to turn the conversation to him instead.
“So, how have things been?” I asked. “Um… classes? Anything interesting in the S rank classes?”
Fenn gave me an odd look for a brief moment. “They’ve been as they usually are. However,” at this he sighed rather dramatically, “I have struggled to learn much of anything since I have been so distracted by missing you.” He reached across the table to hold my hand and squeezed. I melted a little and squeezed back.
“I… I’ve missed you too.”
His expression grew a bit more serious. “I have been concerned, Treasure, about your health. Have you been to the infirmary again? You look rather… run down.”
I sucked a breath in. “Ah, no… I’m fine. It was just a passing thing.. I… I just haven’t slept well. Just staying up too late these days, y’know? Studying and whatnot.” I laughed awkwardly and then hid myself behind the menu. Peeking up over it, I saw that his brows were knit together and his gaze hadn’t wavered. He was staring at me intently as though he was looking for clues.
“...Right, of course…” he muttered. He shook himself out of whatever reverie he was in and picked up his own menu. “Well, should you need any assistance I am more than willing to help.”
I sunk in my seat. “Yeah.”
The meal passed so slowly and so much more quietly than usual. Every moment that went by I hated myself more for my lack of courage. I was making both of us miserable, and watching Fenn wilt and struggle to gain his cheeriness back was painful. I wanted so badly to grab him and hold him but my hands shook.
When we completed the meal and exited the restaurant, I took whatever small bit of courage I could manage and grabbed his hand. “Hey, uh…” I mumbled. “Can we… just walk? I don’t think I should drink tonight. I don’t think my stomach can handle that.”
He stopped under a streetlight and tilted my chin back so he could look at me. That same studying expression came across his face, but this time he didn’t suppress it and brushed his hand across my forehead. “You’re not just tired then. You still feel ill, Treasure?”
From this closer vantage point I could see the dark bags under his eyes. He looked desperately worried. I cringed. “Ah, it’s just… I don’t want to upset my stomach. It might still be sensitive.” I reached forward and looped his arm through mine, urging us forward. “Just a precaution.”
“...Alright.” He forced a small smile and walked with me.
Night fell and we found ourselves strolling by the docks. The sound of the water was soothing and I stepped away to lean against the railing overlooking the water. I could feel his presence behind me, pausing and observing, before he joined me at my side to look across the water and up at the few first stars of the evening.
“It’s pretty out here,” I whispered. “I haven’t been in awhile.”
He slid an arm around my waist. “We can come here every night if it pleases you,” he whispered back. His voice was soft and low, and for the first time in a while I felt my body genuinely relax against the heat of his.
“Maybe I’d like that.”
In the lull of the waves and cool sea air, I began to mull over the situation. It was unlikely I’d find a better time or a more private location than this: the only other living beings I could detect were the stray cats that lived on the pier or a few straggling seabirds that hadn’t retired for the night. I looked up at his profile and saw again the dark bags under his eyes that no doubt mirrored mine. I reached up and cupped his cheek. He jumped slightly, surprised, and then looked down at me fondly.
“Fenn… there’s something I need to tell you.”
He turned his full attention to me, eyes wide. “What is it?”
I took a deep breath. “The thing is, I’m-”
“Oy there! Do you two know what time it is?”
I gasped and jumped. Fenn pulled me tight into his arms and we spun around to find Professor Hawke walking toward us, hands deep in his pockets.
“I’ve been sent by the headmaster to collect you two,” Hawke said, stopping several feet away and gesturing to Fenn. He gave him a stern look and shook his head. “Don’t keep your girl out past curfew just because you’ve made a habit of rule-breaking.” At that, he turned on his heel and waved a hand behind him, gesturing for us to follow. “Come on, ya miscreants.”
I felt as though I’d been doused in cold water.
“Treasure, what were you saying?” Fenn asked. He brushed a hand down my back tenderly.
I tugged my cloak around myself as though it would keep me from collapsing in on myself and shook my head, watching Hawke walk ahead, who was already a good hundred feet or so away. That small, perfect window of time had closed and I was now desperate to return to my room and cry.
“Nevermind. It’s nothing.” I mumbled. Putting my head down, I followed the professor back to the Academy grounds in silence.
—-------
On Friday and for the entirety of the weekend, I stayed in my room, citing illness and sending my cat out on my behalf to inform any professors who needed to know. I laid in bed fading in and out of sleep, tossing and turning, too frustrated to sleep and too exhausted to think of what to do next. Sherry and Rio visited me here and there, as did Violet, though I kept conversations vague and short. I felt intensely stupid for not having told Hawke we’d be just a moment behind him and told Fenn right then. My emotions were a strange cocktail of anxiety and deep shame that I couldn’t seem to shake off.
Meanwhile, I was beginning to feel that the vomiting and nausea were just my first real pregnancy symptoms as they plagued me each morning without fail. My throat burned and I paced my room when not either in the bathroom or attempting to rest, and when I convinced my familiar that he could leave me alone while he played at the docks with Knight, I spent my time having vague conversations with the tiny swell of my stomach while rifling through my dresser drawers to find and put away any clothes I worried would be too tight. I couldn’t tell if I was hallucinating, but I thought that when I turned to the side I could see a slight protrusion. I felt more insane with each day and began to wish desperately that Fenn already knew. It was unnatural to me not to go to him when I was upset about something.
When Monday rolled around, I applied a heavy layer of undereye concealer and forced myself out to classes, no longer attempting to avoid anyone in particular. Something about passing through the weekend in a haze of anxiety had burnt me out and made me numb. I willed Fenn to find me but he didn’t come. The day was oddly quiet and ordinary.
Instead of following Sherry and Rio to lunch, I waved goodbye and made for the grassy area behind the Academy where students would often relax or study when the weather was good. Lying down in the sun sounded nice. Passing through the doors, I came across an open and mostly empty courtyard and headed toward the fountain to sit down.
However, as soon as I passed from underneath the shadows of the overhang covering the threshold, something looped under my knees and behind my back and rapidly pulled me up.
I was airborne. Gasping and struggling to orient myself as the air whipped around me, I found that I could hardly move, the grip around me was so tight. Fenn had snagged me and now held me as we hurtled through the air, up and across the academy grounds and in a familiar direction toward that one spot nestled in the woods near the creek. Above me, I could see his profile was cold and serious, his jaw tense and his lips drawn tight. I didn’t ask why we were flying; that was clear enough. I couldn’t decide if I was nervous or relieved.
When we landed, he set me down gingerly in the grass to stand but held me firmly by my shoulders as though afraid I’d try to escape. This time, I didn’t avoid his eyes. His expression was stern but desperate: brows drawn together and even darker bags under his eyes as though he hadn’t slept at all in the days since I’d seen him.
“What is going on.” he asked- or rather, didn’t ask. His intonation was flat, forcibly so, as if trying not to erupt. “You avoid me at every turn. You’ve hardly spoken to me. I have to ask Sherry if you’re well because I can’t get a straight answer out of you.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat. “I… Fenn-”
He cut me off and continued. “I can’t sleep because I worry about you. I can’t tell if I’ve done something wrong or if you’re deathly ill, because you,” at this, he gripped me a bit harder and moved in closer. “...won’t tell me anything at all.” For a moment he paused and looked away to take a deep, shaky breath. “If… if… you’ve fallen out of love with me, please, please just tell me, because whatever this is, is torture.”
My eyes burned. “That’s not it at all,” I choked out.
“Then what?” he whispered. His voice seemed to waver as though sitting on a precipice between a shout and tears.
“I’m not sick, I’m not mad at you, it’s nothing like that, I just… I just didn’t know how to tell you and I just got scared and nervous and I didn’t even know how I felt about it and so I panicked and…” I blabbered on and only then realized that tears were running down my face freely. I wiped my face and took in a shuddering breath. “I… I just don’t know how to say this, but-”
Fenn released me and took a step away from me as though burned. “Is there… someone else, Treasure?” His face was warped into a look of complete anguish, and I felt something snap inside me.
“What?! No! Fenn, I’m pregnant!”
His eyes went wide and he stared at me for a few long seconds. “You… you’re…?” he stammered and looked down at my stomach. Feeling awkward, I tucked my cloak around myself a bit tighter. He stayed quiet, shocked, with his mouth hanging open, before letting out a long, heavy sigh and yanking me into his arms into a crushing hug.
“You’re not mad at me?” I squeaked out.
He laughed a little. “I am a bit mad at you, but not because of that,” he mumbled against my hair. “You scared me, you know that?”
“This doesn’t scare you?!”
He released me from the hug and stared me in the eye. “Oh, this absolutely scares me. I am terrified, truthfully, but I thought I was losing you. I would take this over losing you anyday.” His face went soft and he brushed a hand down my cheek, wiping at the tear streaks with a thumb. “You could have told me. I would never be upset.”
I nodded and bit my lip to try to hold back another onslaught of tears. “I… I know. It’s just that we’d never really discussed it. And it hasn’t really felt real. I’ve been scared about what changes if… if this happens.” I looked away as I tried to formulate my thoughts. “It’s not the same as if I was still just some regular person back on Earth. All the ways I thought I’d handle something like this don’t apply here. I mean, the political implications alone with my power and-”
Fenn came close, cupping my face in his hands, wiping my tears and then kissing me: a deep, long kiss that never wavered but remained steady and slow until my shoulders slumped in relief. He broke first and I opened my eyes to his, brimming with a calm serenity.
“The political implications aren’t for you to worry about; they’re for me to handle,” he said. “Furthermore, I am with you no matter what decision you make and no matter how you feel. No matter what, Treasure.”
A few moments of silence passed by before I launched myself at him and buried my face in his chest, clinging on for dear life. “I’m so sorry, Fenn,” I half-sobbed.
He rubbed my back and kissed the top of my head. “All is well. This must be very… unsettling.” When I looked up, I saw that he had a rather awkward smile on his face. “And for my part, I’m sorry as well. I certainly wasn’t intending to… ah…” He rubbed the back of his neck and laughed a self-degrading laugh.
“You don’t have to apologize,” I scoffed. “...We worked together on it.”
We both burst into laughter before lying down in the grass together and sinking into that middle place between wakefulness and sleep. I imagined that he felt as drained and heavy with exhaustion as I did. As we laid together, I combed my fingers through his hair. Again, I began thinking of the potential futures ahead of us and found myself imagining what could be. Beside me, Fenn had his eyes closed but his breathing told me he was still awake. I’d spent enough nights beside him to know the difference- it struck me then, that I was desperate not to have to spend any more nights than I had to away from him. I didn’t want to miss him or wonder about how he spent his evenings alone.
He opened his eyes and looked up at me from where I had propped myself up above him and smiled. “Admiring me?” he teased affectionately.
“I am,” I responded. “And thinking.”
“About?”
“...Can I spend the night with you?”
He beamed. “But of course. I’d rather you did.”
“I mean, not just tonight. Like, always.”
A flicker of surprise crossed his face before he nodded enthusiastically. “Certainly.” He pulled me down onto his chest and flipped us onto our sides, nuzzling close as we could until we were a tangle of limbs, and began to kiss me in light pecks all over my face until I was a giggling mess. “I would like that very much.”
I held his face in my hands and sighed. “You know… About the pregnancy… Maybe it’s just… a bit ahead of schedule.” I stammered out slowly. I rolled my next words around on my tongue for a little while before meeting his gaze again. “It’s what I wanted anyway. Just didn’t think it’d be for a bit longer.” I laughed awkwardly and felt heat rise up my neck in embarrassment. I wasn’t one to be especially emotionally vulnerable when I didn’t have to be, despite Fenn near-always trying to open me up.
“...It’s up to you, you know,” Fenn said. I looked up to him. His face was serious, but soft. “It’s your decision to make. You don’t have to keep it, you aren’t obligated to do so for my sake. I am with you no matter your decision. But… I do want you to know that… I am not afraid of the implications of having it. While it is, admittedly, difficult for me to imagine what it would be like to actually have children… I am not so afraid of the idea if it’s something we do together. Truly, Treasure.”
My eyes welled up and I laughed at myself. He intertwined our fingers together and kissed the backs of my palms, then stood and pulled me to my feet. Taking a deep breath, he sank onto one knee. “I will do this again in the grand and elaborate way that you deserve, I promise you that, but I want to ask this now. Will you marry me?”
I nodded quickly and pulled him to stand so that I could hug him tightly. “Of course I will,” I breathed out. “Of course I will.”
He laughed out loud, and then swung me around momentarily before setting me down abruptly. “Sorry, forgot that I shouldn’t be doing that.” he apologized and gestured a hand toward my abdomen. He grinned and then picked me up bridal style. “Now. Treasure, I am absolutely exhausted. You said you wanted to spend the night with me forever- I’d like to start that now. What say you?”
“Uh-huh. Please.”
We skipped our remaining classes that day and slept hard into the evening, then spent the twilight hours simply in each other’s presence speaking of a future that was, with time, becoming a vision I was able to see crystalizing into something real: something I could reach forward and nearly touch.
—--------
“WHAT?!”
“E-Excuse me, are you quite serious?”
“Oh, congratulations.”
“Fenn, this is nothing to joke about.”
“Hmmpf. You move quicker than I thought you would.”
“This is all I’m here for? I’m leaving.”
The variety of reactions suddenly thrust on us made me burst into laughter. Days later, we’d gathered all of the S rank princes and the valets, as well as Lance, Dia, Rio, and Sherry, into the S rank common room to announce the news of our engagement, under the guise of a party. And it was a party- we’d gone all out with decorations and desserts in the hopes that if anyone in particular found the news unsettling or disagreeable, they’d get distracted by the general party atmosphere. Dating was one thing, but a marriage of an extraterrestrial thaumaturge with the Power of Vane to a prince of a kingdom was quite another. It had been a point of tension for the two of us to consider the future political implications of not only the pregnancy, but the marriage itself. Frankly, the expectation of pregnancy was at least half of the worry with me aligning with a particular kingdom in that way: what kind of untold power would be bestowed on a baby with two parents that could wield ancient magic? However, that detail wouldn’t be unveiled just yet. With any luck, we could stave off those questions for a few months.
Fenn held up my left hand to show the ring he’d sourced for me, a vibrant amethyst looking gem cut in a sharp marquise shape and set amongst black and white diamonds. “You may wish it was a joke, dear Toa, but we are quite serious,” Fenn replied. “Of course, everyone here will be invited to the wedding. We thought we’d throw a bit of an engagement party here to celebrate the happy news.”
Despite the surprised reaction, nobody was upset or entirely shocked- after all, we’d been together for over a year- and the party was kicked off nicely. Academy friends congratulated us including Rio, who now that Sherry had relayed to him that Fenn knew about the pregnancy, was able to act more normally again. Each of the princes gave us their well-wishes in the way I’d expected: Roy acted the perfect gentleman, Lynt seemed genuinely pleased for us, Toa was curt and polite, Lance said congratulations and immediately left after snagging something off the drinks table, Rio enveloped both of us in a bear hug, and Guy gave Fenn some kind of cryptic nod that, if I’d interpreted it correctly, looked somewhat impressed.
As for the others, Dia was there for such a brief period of time that I wondered if I’d imagined him, and Sherry hugged both of us and spent a significant amount of time looking at the ring (the silver of the band turned out to be Invidian, something she pointed out to Roy and he seemed happy about). The valets were kind as well, with Tino in particular being nearly in tears on our behalf for some reason. Violet, for her part, seemed suspicious and almost a bit hurt- something I felt badly about, but she’d know soon enough why I hadn’t told her earlier. Besides Fenn, she was the first person I’d wanted to tell after Sherry and I had found out together those days ago. I just knew Fenn would require the head’s-up.
As I was refilling my glass of non-alcoholic punch after a few hours of party revelry, Toa appeared alongside me to fill his plate with desserts. For a good few seconds, he said nothing, simply piling things without so much as looking at me. Finally, he straightened up and looked over at me.
“As you know I spend a certain amount of time each week in charge of the operations of the infirmary, which includes checking and rechecking our stock levels for our supply closet,” he began, his tone low and quiet. “Sometime last week I noticed we were missing a pregnancy test. Just one.”
I stared forward and didn’t meet his eye. “I wonder who took it…” I replied. My voice wavered slightly.
“I wondered that too. Until this evening,” at this Toa, nodded toward the glass of punch in my hand. “Non-alcoholic. Not your usual choice at a function with this many people present. Suffice it to say I am no longer confused about the missing test… nor the reason for the sudden engagement.”
I turned to face him. “Please don’t say anything to anyone about it, Toa, please,” I pleaded, my heart in my throat. Looking down at me, I saw his face soften a bit and he sighed, shaking his head.
“I would never. However…” he trailed off and cast a glance over at Fenn, who was busy annoying Guy about something or other while Lynt hung off him like a blanket. “...I hope that the two of you have a plan. A child between the two of you could represent more of a threat to the realm than you do on your own. A lineage like that has never happened before in the history of Saligia.”
“We’re aware. We have a lot to figure out in the next few months… a lot,” I choked out.
Toa held out his hand, unfurling his palm before me to present a small pouch of something. “Take this. Given your strange behavior as of late, I had a hunch about the purpose of this party and decided to bring this along. It may help.”
I took it gingerly from his palm and turned it over in mine. There were some kind of small round balls rolling around on the inside of the velvet pouch, from what I could feel. “What is it?” I asked.
“Medicine for pregnant thaumaturges in particular. The risk to the magical realm is significant, but so is the risk to your health. You may benefit from a double dose, given the circumstances.” Toa explained as I opened the pouch to stare down at the green jewel-like pills inside. I tied it tightly closed and tucked it into the pocket of my dress.
Suddenly overcome with emotion, I wiped away an errant tear and laughed at myself a little. “Thank you, Toa. That’s very kind of you,” I thanked him. “I’ll make sure to take these.”
Toa gave a single curt nod and turned to leave, but then paused one last time and looked back at me. Over his shoulder, he said, “Oh, and come see me in the infirmary should you feel unwell at any time. Now that I know more I can be of greater assistance.” With that he returned back into the fray of the party and I stood there feeling rather touched.
When the party concluded late into the night Fenn and I left together. We’d barely made it through the doors before we were stopped by a frustrated and suspicious looking Violet, who pointed at Fenn with narrowed eyes.
“You… there’s something you aren’t telling me, you bastard,” she snapped. “I’m glad to see you’ve got your head on straight enough to marry her, but you’re hiding something and I can tell.”
Fenn held his hands up in mock surrender. “Fine, you’ve caught us, Letty,” he sighed. He seemed ready to invite her along with us to speak somewhere privately, but Violet stalked closer and grabbed me by my shoulders, her gaze serious.
“What’s he done?” she demanded, tossing a cold look at Fenn, who shrugged. “I can’t believe I wasn’t told about your engagement before! I always thought I’d know about this sort of thing before anyone else! There must be something going on.”
I laughed nervously. “Well, uh… he hasn’t done anything… well, he has but, I mean…” I stammered. I looked both ways and saw that the hallways were fortunately empty, save for the three of us, since it was late and most attendees had left much earlier than the rest of us. “Um… you could say that we did something, I suppose. Collaboratively.”
Violet’s eyes went wide. Meanwhile, this phrasing made Fenn snicker a bit and he covered his mouth with a fist to pretend to cough. However, Violet caught my meaning and rounded on him.
“She’s pregnant?!” Violet snapped and looked ready to wring him by the throat. I grabbed her by the wrist before she could.
“Keep your voice down!” I whispered loudly. “But yes!”
Her glare on Fenn was firm and unyielding. “I can’t believe you!” she snapped at him. “You couldn’t have waited until after you were married?!”
“After was the intention,” Fenn responded dryly, then gestured for us to vacate the hallway. “Before we attract any attention, might I suggest you wait to lecture me until we’re somewhere private?”
Violet acquiesced to the request, but not without grumbling all the way to Fenn’s room while I tried to convince her in hushed tones that really, things were fine and not to be upset about it. By the time we arrived, she’d ever so slightly cooled down, though she maintained her death glare on Fenn.
“Honestly, I should be surprised it didn’t happen sooner than this, I suppose,” Violet lamented, crossing her arms across her chest and shaking her head in disappointment. “You’re lucky it’s her and now and not some random Academy girl from before,” she declared to Fenn, who accepted it with a shrug.
“I agree, Letty, goodness.” he sighed.
Violet collapsed onto the couch beside me and held my hands. “I apologize for this,” she shot him another cold look. “...For him.”
I patted her hand and shook my head. “It’s perfectly alright, Violet, really. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about it when I found out. Sherry wanted me to, but I was afraid you’d wring his throat before I could tell him.” Behind me, Fenn mouthed thank you, Treasure. I giggled. “Besides, there’s something I’d like to ask you, anyways.”
She raised an eyebrow. “What’s that?”
“Will you be the godmother? Along with Sherry, obviously.”
This change in topic was enough to flip her attitude 180 degrees. She nearly squealed and smiled a brighter smile than I almost thought possible. “Yes of course, absolutely!” The two of us proceeded to grin and laugh and talk for a while longer as Fenn watched on, bemused but smiling. When things came to their natural close, Violet bid us adieu and returned back to the women’s dorms.
“Well,” Fenn said, standing from the couch and offering a hand. “Shall we retire, then? Tomorrow we will have a lot more preparations to make, so best we claim our beauty sleep now. All three of us.”
I grinned and nodded, allowing him to pull me to my feet. “Sure thing.”
We crawled into bed together and spooned. Underneath the covers Fenn snuck a hand to rest on my belly. “I quite like this, you know,” he mumbled against my ear.
I leaned back against him. “Do you now?”
“Mmmhm.” he hummed and rubbed circles around my lower abdomen. “I do. Strangely enough I feel that I’m getting rather attached. I feel… excited, I think. Despite everything.”
“...Me too. It’s going to be a lot of change but… good change, I think. I think we’ll be okay.”
He kissed the shell of my ear and trailed down my jaw and neck. “More than okay,” he murmured. “I promise.” He squeezed me and burrowed into me so that our bodies were nearly as close as they could be without melding together entirely, and sunk into a deep sleep.
I layered my own hand over the one he’d left on my belly. “It’s the three of us now.” I whispered to myself. And I found that I wasn’t terrified by it anymore. With Fenn by my side, stepping into the future didn’t fill me with the kind of dread and fear I’d had before. Finally truly relaxed, I closed my eyes and felt the gentle touch of slumber surround me.
