*Welcome To Wonderland*

[colourofoctober]

“Allow cookies to cool for 10-15 minutes”

[mrbenwyatt]

[hipstered]

i have a “why am i like this” moment at least five times a day

[rockhardgeologist]

[bienenkiste]

and i'm proud of y'all

lets have phone sex over walkie talkies

[rninor-blog]

“bend over” “bend what? over”

[keepcalmanddrinkwater]

O M G 😂😂😩

[hotboyproblems]

Me: *makes a small irrelevant mistake*

My Brain, banging pots and pans together: YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUC

Me: *makes huge mistake that will directly affect my future horribly*

My Brain, lounging on a lawn chair with shades on: ....acknowledged

[itsaubreylmfao]

are you a dog? no ? goodbye

[perchov]

[37q-archive]

this was the single greatest moment in modern television

[labias]

astrology isnt real but every positive thing written about my sign is true 

[gacktova]

[hambaes-deactivated20151121]

if i ever give birth please dont tell me my baby looks just like me within the first 2 months cause i know that newborn look ugly as shit so unless you tryna square up dont speak

[100493503004422]

me: [lying] honestly

[mothcub]

What’s popping, you ask? Why, it’s my joints.

[seal-of-unknown]

me, begging, tears in my eyes: please. please just tell me what the book is about. the plot. please

a book annotation on the cover, unfazed: A Subversive Masterpiece. A Deep And Touching Story. The New York Times Bestseller. Go Fuck Yourself

[this-is-me-irl]

[dutchster]

moan louder every time the cashier scans one of your items

[unclefather]