Dr. Tweenus Gonzo's Chumpland

A Dumping Ground for the Silly Shit I Paint or Photoshop or Paintoshop.

[drtweenusgonzo]

Simon Birch remains a mystery. The radish is because of this post.

[drtweenusgonzo]

Hanks are raising their hands! Let them deliver your letter!

[drtweenusgonzo]

Got my kid one of those little drawing tablets a while back.

[drtweenusgonzo]

Got rear-ended while working a couple of weeks ago. Don't recommend it.

[drtweenusgonzo]

Everyone assumes that if a turtle throws up a key in front of you, you'll probably need that key for something.

[drtweenusgonzo]

The Simon Birch Cinematic Universe was great. They shouldn't have killed him off because everything after that is boooooring.

[dougfunniesjournal]

Drew this one in 2020. Hopefully some day I'll be able to focus on telling Richard's whole life story. At some point in the last few years I contacted the corporation that owns Kool-Aid about doing a comic about the life of the Kool-Aid man and I can't believe they did not get back to me about that. I should try again.

[dougfunniesjournal]

I just did it again. It's Kraft Heinz that owns Kool-Aid. I just used the "contact us" form on their website like last time. I checked my email because I remembered getting a message saying my information was being passed on to whoever might be in charge of hiring me to draw a comic about Kool-Aid Man. I contacted them in 2022. I hope the person in charge of Kool-Aid marketing now is a fan of nonsense comics. Anyway, feel free to post on all your social medias things like, "my goodness, I sure would enjoy a comic about Kool-Aid Man drawn by that guy who draws That's Nelson Eggs!" and then tag the companies involved and also mention that I should be paid a lot of money to do it, like a ton, like I'm going to have to get another bank account because my first one is suddenly full and my bank has to say, "no more, please."

[drtweenusgonzo]

Gonna get me a job that doesn't exist

[dougfunniesjournal]

Got a response that says...

"We appreciate your interest in our company. If you are looking to supply us with goods or services, please mail your company information or kit to:"

There's a Chicago address I can send something to and now I guess I'll just do that but I'm going to have to think about it and consider how much work I'm willing and able to put into this extremely unlikely scenario where I'm trying to make Kraft Heinz hire me. I will be working under the assumption that I'll send them a packet of goofy shit and I will never hear from them at all. It will be passed around an office in Chicago like "look at this asshole" or thrown in the trash unread.

I will update this when I have a packet together. Feel free to tell everyone you know who works in marketing over at Kraft Heinz that they should totally hire me for this job I've made up and am insisting needs to be done. Kool-Aid Man's story needs to be told.

[dougfunniesjournal]

Meaningless update:

I have not forgotten about this. I just haven't had time to draw anything and have no idea how to write a proposal for a story I intend to make up as I go. Also, low probability of success keeps interest low.

This past weekend our neighbor asked if they could park a few cars in our driveway because they were having a big birthday party and had a large tent erected on their property. They do this sometimes, and it's never a problem to have their cars here. They aren't in our way. At some point they brought us some tacos and salsa (delicious) and some time later they brought us some of the cake and cupcakes and jello and also a box of kool-aid jammers.

It is a sign. I just hope the Kraft Heinz corporate headquarters has a kind neighbor that brings them tacos and a copy of my book and they get the other end of this sign.

[dougfunniesjournal]

Here we go. I'm sure if they see this comic, made with pencil, ink, watercolors, and shitty paper, and say, "no, we've got a guy in marketing who knows how to use chatgpt, but we appreciate your enthusiasm for our brand though we will sue you if you make more" or something like that.

[drtweenusgonzo]

I still haven't printed this and mailed it to the address they gave me because that involves spending real money on a dead end joke, but I'm sure if I just keep sharing it on Tumblr and adding nothing to it, nothing will happen but I won't have spent money on this.

[dougfunniesjournal]

Drew this one in 2020. Hopefully some day I'll be able to focus on telling Richard's whole life story. At some point in the last few years I contacted the corporation that owns Kool-Aid about doing a comic about the life of the Kool-Aid man and I can't believe they did not get back to me about that. I should try again.

[dougfunniesjournal]

I just did it again. It's Kraft Heinz that owns Kool-Aid. I just used the "contact us" form on their website like last time. I checked my email because I remembered getting a message saying my information was being passed on to whoever might be in charge of hiring me to draw a comic about Kool-Aid Man. I contacted them in 2022. I hope the person in charge of Kool-Aid marketing now is a fan of nonsense comics. Anyway, feel free to post on all your social medias things like, "my goodness, I sure would enjoy a comic about Kool-Aid Man drawn by that guy who draws That's Nelson Eggs!" and then tag the companies involved and also mention that I should be paid a lot of money to do it, like a ton, like I'm going to have to get another bank account because my first one is suddenly full and my bank has to say, "no more, please."

[drtweenusgonzo]

Gonna get me a job that doesn't exist

[dougfunniesjournal]

Got a response that says...

"We appreciate your interest in our company. If you are looking to supply us with goods or services, please mail your company information or kit to:"

There's a Chicago address I can send something to and now I guess I'll just do that but I'm going to have to think about it and consider how much work I'm willing and able to put into this extremely unlikely scenario where I'm trying to make Kraft Heinz hire me. I will be working under the assumption that I'll send them a packet of goofy shit and I will never hear from them at all. It will be passed around an office in Chicago like "look at this asshole" or thrown in the trash unread.

I will update this when I have a packet together. Feel free to tell everyone you know who works in marketing over at Kraft Heinz that they should totally hire me for this job I've made up and am insisting needs to be done. Kool-Aid Man's story needs to be told.

[dougfunniesjournal]

Meaningless update:

I have not forgotten about this. I just haven't had time to draw anything and have no idea how to write a proposal for a story I intend to make up as I go. Also, low probability of success keeps interest low.

This past weekend our neighbor asked if they could park a few cars in our driveway because they were having a big birthday party and had a large tent erected on their property. They do this sometimes, and it's never a problem to have their cars here. They aren't in our way. At some point they brought us some tacos and salsa (delicious) and some time later they brought us some of the cake and cupcakes and jello and also a box of kool-aid jammers.

It is a sign. I just hope the Kraft Heinz corporate headquarters has a kind neighbor that brings them tacos and a copy of my book and they get the other end of this sign.

[dougfunniesjournal]

Here we go. I'm sure if they see this comic, made with pencil, ink, watercolors, and shitty paper, and say, "no, we've got a guy in marketing who knows how to use chatgpt, but we appreciate your enthusiasm for our brand though we will sue you if you make more" or something like that.

[drtweenusgonzo]

If they had been listening they'd know what they were just volunteered to do

[dougfunniesjournal]

Drew this one in 2020. Hopefully some day I'll be able to focus on telling Richard's whole life story. At some point in the last few years I contacted the corporation that owns Kool-Aid about doing a comic about the life of the Kool-Aid man and I can't believe they did not get back to me about that. I should try again.

[dougfunniesjournal]

I just did it again. It's Kraft Heinz that owns Kool-Aid. I just used the "contact us" form on their website like last time. I checked my email because I remembered getting a message saying my information was being passed on to whoever might be in charge of hiring me to draw a comic about Kool-Aid Man. I contacted them in 2022. I hope the person in charge of Kool-Aid marketing now is a fan of nonsense comics. Anyway, feel free to post on all your social medias things like, "my goodness, I sure would enjoy a comic about Kool-Aid Man drawn by that guy who draws That's Nelson Eggs!" and then tag the companies involved and also mention that I should be paid a lot of money to do it, like a ton, like I'm going to have to get another bank account because my first one is suddenly full and my bank has to say, "no more, please."

[drtweenusgonzo]

Gonna get me a job that doesn't exist

[drtweenusgonzo]

First comic of the new year and the last comic of the pasta book. Celebrate.

[dougfunniesjournal]

Why'd You Make Them So Buff?

This is a book with a bunch of drawing of eggs with arms and legs doing stuff. They do all kinds of things. They have medical emergencies. T

If you buy my book now, you'll be able to give it to yourself for Valentine's Day, for sure. This is a good idea.

This comic isn't in the book, but I hope you'll like it anyway.

[drtweenusgonzo]

Good thinking, Hank.

[drtweenusgonzo]

No one wants your soups when they can get a bowl of casarecce for two dollars, Hank!

[drtweenusgonzo]

Why'd You Make Them So Buff?

This is a book with a bunch of drawing of eggs with arms and legs doing stuff. They do all kinds of things. They have medical emergencies. T

Finally put together the first collection with a little intro. This is the first 100 comics.

[drtweenusgonzo]

I'm publishing these through ingramspark. I can only make direct links like the one I've posted for people in the US and UK, but they are available to order from the places listed here. So, Australians, for example, could order it here and not have to worry about international shipping.

[drtweenusgonzo]

The Novelization of Grease

9 page comic about a book about a musical and the book is not musical at all

I also finally finished this comic about the novelization of Grease. Read it here if you like. Includes my thoughts on flying away in the car at the end. Very important. The internet needs to know!

[drtweenusgonzo]

Why'd You Make Them So Buff?

This is a book with a bunch of drawing of eggs with arms and legs doing stuff. They do all kinds of things. They have medical emergencies. T

Finally put together the first collection with a little intro. This is the first 100 comics.

[drtweenusgonzo]

I'm publishing these through ingramspark. I can only make direct links like the one I've posted for people in the US and UK, but they are available to order from the places listed here. So, Australians, for example, could order it here and not have to worry about international shipping.