Feels like a murder but that's alright.

My name is Stephanie. This blog isn’t about drug use, nor do I endorse drug use. I do endorse this awesome song by Talking Heads.

[drugz]

The waitress at Denny's just referred to Tony as "my love" after she scribbled down his grand slam order And now I gotta stop our 3pm breakfast to cut a bitch

[drugz]

Tony made us spaghetti at 3am which is the definition of true love & selflessness 

[drugz]

Current state:

Made a Pinterest board called "Vapor Wave"

[drugz]

I'm trying really hard to be a less hateful person but I'm at the airport and had to say "excuse me" to a man blocking an entire aisle with his legs up on a seat and he very passive aggressively lowered them one at a time while staring me down

[drugz]

Is sincerity important to poetry?

[drugz]

I dripped almond milk on my dog's butt while dunkin' cookies

[drugz]

Tfw you are waiting all day for the exterminator to come and look at the larvae falling out of your bathroom doorframe so you can dye your hair back to lilac

[drugz]

We're watching a youtube video on the 10 most beautiful horse breeds and my boyfriend just said "that horse is thick, dude."

[drugz]

Sometimes I worry I'm not using my time wisely enough and then I spend an extra 30 minutes in bed giving my dog belly rubs

[drugz]

I feel like years of watching Shonda Rhimes TV shows had prepared me for understanding this James Comey situation

[drugz]

I am going to throw a Great British Bake Off party and none of my guests will be able to leave until they make me all the food they have on the Great British Bake Off

[drugz]

Once every couple of weeks this dad calls me on accident because he thinks my phone number is his daughter’s. He always leaves these very sweet voice mails and I love listening to them because for a second I can imagine what it’s like to have a father who didn’t try to murder me repeatedly while I was growing up. 

[rhetthammersmithhorror]

[cuntamination]

[cwtae-worklikefuckuntilim65]

A delicately choreographed whatever the hell it is they’re doing.

[sofigrace]

Is this a Cats rehearsal?

[itsawasabee]

Whoever added the Star Trek gif you can do me no wrong.

[misswendybird]

Qq

[pyrrhics]

I swear Bernini himself sculpted these culottes

[robotique]

next hair color when this purp fades :3

[cheese24k]

For some reason a bird speaking Japanese is mildly off putting.

> Literal translation

Bird:” ‘Uhm Hello, this is the Ono family.”

Bird: “What’s wrong?”

Owner: “Abe-chan, you’re a little too early. Once the phone’s picked up, then properly say hello.”

Bird: “Okay, understood.”

Owner: “Do you really understand? I’m counting on you. Hello, this is the Ono family residence in Gifu.”]

Bird: “Okay, I understand!”

Owner: “Got it.”

> That’s clearly some sort of Pokemon.

> Off-putting? It’s like birds were meant to speak Japanese!

> For some reason it’s never occurred to me that birds can mimic languages other than English. It’s so cool, though!

[avianawareness]

The world will soon understand why birds are so awesome and deserve to be our overlords. 

[rhoeysama]

I went camping with my family once in Italy, and I kept hearing the same “quack, quack” every day and the sound of what reminded me of a door squeaking on its hinges. Both sounds were so out of place because there were only tents around and no doors anywhere nearby, and there were no ducks around, either. I followed the sounds one morning, and they led me to one of these. It’s almost scary how accurately they can mimic sounds. 

[kinkyray]

Birds do indeed deserve to be our new fluffy puffy overlords.

[theforce]

i was 14 and i was walking through a mall by myself at 12am after my shift at coldstone creamery lol and a bunch of men started whistling and meowing and getting really close to me and they kept asking me questions and i kept not answering until i didn’t know what else to do so i said “i’m only 14” and almost in unison they said “we don’t care” i was so fucking scared i didn’t know what to do and they kept talking about how i looked and how my body looked and what they would do i was on the verge of tears i was all alone in a huge mall i knew i couldn’t outrun them all i felt totally hopeless until a maintenance worker came up to all of us with a huge industrial broom in her hand, i thought she was going to yell at all of us for being in the mall after hours bc she probably thought we were all friends but instead she cursed all of them out in spanish, threatened to press a panic button on her belt and then proceeded to walk me to the basement garage and waited with me until my mom got there to pick me up she had a death grip on her cart the whole time and a face of steel she looked so strong and i just kept saying thank you and she kept saying not to thank her because she had to stop them.

that was the moment i realized women were the most important beings on this planet and we have to protect each other bc nobody else is going to, she didn’t even know me, we couldn’t even communicate that well because of the language barrier, she could have lost her job for waiting with me in the parking lot but she looked out for me when she didn’t have to, she had nothing to gain from it, i’m 21 now and i tell everyone this story even though it happened 7 years ago, what she did that night helped me form and shape lot of my beliefs early on. 

[actuallunalovegood]

i was at a grocery store really late one night and some old guy kind of eyed me as i walked out of the store next to this other lady. She and I made eye contact and i knew she was scared too. we loaded up our groceries into our cars as fast as possible and I had way more bags than her so she got done faster than me. I panicked because i was sure she was going to leave so i just hurried faster, shaking a little, and then i noticed she sat in her car, watching me and making sure nobody came near. She waited not until all my groceries were loaded, or until my cart was put away, or until I got into my car. No, she didn’t drive away until I drove away. 

And that was the moment that I realized how much women need other women. That we can’t win this war without each other and we have to be looking out for each other, every second. 

[ofgeography]

my last year in new york city, i got off the subway around 9 or 10p.m. i only lived about 5 blocks from the f train, but i hadn’t gotten more than two before a woman’s hand suddenly touched my arm. 

"that guy behind us is following you," she said. "he was watching you leave the train car and followed you up."

i hadn’t noticed him, or at least not noticed him following me. when we stopped outside a grocery store, he stopped half a block back and loitered. the woman linked her arm with mine and walked me several blocks out of her way to my front door and made sure i got inside safely.

another time, nocigar and i were walking home and at a stoplight a stranger grabbed my arm when i wouldn’t respond to him and tried to physically drag me over to him. she—who is, by the way, not a very physically imposing girl—ripped his hand off my arm and snarled, “don’t fucking touch her.”

protect your friends. protect strangers. there are good men in the world, but don’t wait for them to do something if you can do it yourself.

[edmundo-noches-buckley]

I was at a club once and my friend left with her boyfriend so I finished my drink and was heading out to the parking lot when three girls came up to me and basically surrounded me. 

“Those guys behind us were talking about following you. We can walk with you.” 

I have MMA training but have never in my life had been offered the protection and sanction of my own gender. This is so important.