I'm Wasted on you.

Wattpad & Photography Blog.

[justbadpuns]

Why did the pig stop sunbathing? He was bacon in the heat..

[thegaymerist]

“how’s your summer?”

[3frraa-deactivated20170721]

scary how fast someone can mean so much to you

[p4radoxes]

Scary yet fascinating

[bombing]

doctor: the operation was a success

me: i didn’t ask

[safeguards]

when i’m telling a story and a friend interrupts:

[thebootydiaries]

me: hi ma'am how are u today

customer: *ignores me*

me:

[the-flawless-unicorn]

What is this creature???

[thebootydiaries]

that’s me after being ignored don’t be so rude

[oomshi]

is masturbating while smoking weed called masturblazing 

[420moshdad]

no its called highjacking

[fuckinyeetttt-deactivated202005]

guys no it’s weedwhacking

[deathpup-deactivated20150330]

no its called dissapointing ur mother

[gnarly]

when your legs dont work like they used to before

[methlick-deactivated20180601]

Grocery stores after midnight r like some magical gateway to an alternate dimension where nothing else is real except for the super noodles on the shelf and the paper clip in your pocket

[lierdumoa]

One time I walked into a 24 hour Safeway at 12:30ish not realizing it was a 24 hour Safeway and asked an employee, “What time do you close?” and the guy just answered, “No.”

[blueeyedqueerr]

relatable

[intoxicatesstydia]

Andrea Russett is so fkn hot I’m glad she’s bi 🌈

[the-cumberbatchs-stupid-penwing]

How he looks at his friend

How he looks at his crush

How he looks at his “fiancé”

How he looks at his totally platonic flatmate

[jackson-falahee]

jackfalahee: Eating chocolate pancakes, of course.

[headassdobrik]

Idiot that’s code for “shut up.”

[luvbey]

i just want to sit in front of the ocean for a little while

[ruinedchildhood]

[rubberupandmakeitstarker]

This was such a fucking mic drop I was screaming

[dailymarvelheroes]

get you a man who can do both

[nitramaraho]

one of my patients came in for an emergency visit, because she snapped the wire on her retainer watching the movie when MBJ took his shirt off she clenched her teeth so fucking hard she snapped it. that is the fucking funniest shit ever to me this tiny 17 year old girl thirsting so goddamn hard she busted steel

[crystalitesummerstar]

Y'all, it gets better. She found out.

[buzzfeed]

We interviewed her, obviously.

[buzzfeed]

update: