Somebody close to Clavicular needs to put his face through one of those “if you were girl” filters and show it to him, and then more importantly also hide all his drugs and make him see a therapist.
Like I know I’m not the only trans girlie who feels for the guy because his relationship with his manhood runs pretty parallel with a lot of our paths prior to The Realization.
A lot of us were mentally unwell gym bros ironically (not insincerely, ironically) before transitioning and so many of us can say, from experience, bro just take the estrogen, it won’t fix all your problems but, like, it will fix a big one.
The problem is none of us were THAT mentally unwell. THAT is HIS big problem.
Aside from the deleterious health effects of steroids and meth and bone smashing and cocktails of socially lubricating drugs, I don’t have a conceptual problem with him going to extreme lengths to change things about himself; a lot of us trans people go to incredible lengths to change ourselves endocrinologically and socially and physically to do what we know will make us happy. But that’s where we stop comparing similarly.
Transition makes us joyous and euphoric, he’s fucking miserable.
Like I was when I was trying to be a big ol’ weightlifter out of some sense of obligation to masculinity. At least back then I was deluding myself about wanting to do what I was doing (breaking my body against my physical ceiling for diminishing returns); he can’t even commit to pretending he likes it.
He just does it, all in the name of grinding, grinding for what? To sleep with women? He doesn’t like sleeping with women. Facial harmony score? Okay. Why? ROI? What return? Ambition? For what? Why? Not for the sake of making happiness for himself or others. He’s just grinding and grinding in hopes that even though he has no idea what it looks or feels like, eventually, somehow, he’ll dig and dig and dig and find somewhere the fulfillment this world promises to those who just keep their heads down and keep digging and grinding and maxxing, that promise that gets broken every time because it’s based on dishonest advertising and maximizing shareholder value.
Like he’s easy/funny/purportedly-fair-game to egg-post about because he’s already a pretty unsympathetic figure for being in and of the manosphere, and because he’s made his mental illness a profitable public spectacle, and because he’s clearly so desperately uncomfortable in his masculinity in a way that so many of us were, but estrogen won’t fix him the way roids also haven’t fixed him because he doesn't understand the concept of self-fulfillment. Or even the concept of determination with self-ascribed purpose; he has no idea what he could possibly want his life to be about.
Lord knows there are already plenty of trans women who approach transition with a similarly mentally ill, fatalistic, looksmaxxing mindset, and the last thing we need is a misogynistic nazi-adjacent manosphere dude associating all his bullshit with trans women, applying the same flavor of self-abuse he’s applied to hyper-masculinizing to transitioning, and influencing the same performatively nihilistic self-destructive body dysmorphia and both internalized and projected self-hatred he’s already influenced on Gen Z men onto even-more-vulnerable trans girls.
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