Izzy

Just a girl that reads,watches series and loves creating OC's. My Instagram is the same username.

[drxmaqceen]

Allison: i will not wear the heels

Arya: but-

Allison: i will NOT

Arya: fine..but you are missing out on something

Allison: what? Breaking my leg?

Allison @litcratura

[litcratura]

Silas and Lily

@drxmaqceen

Silas was born in the year 1800 whereas Lily was born in the year 1864.

They met in the home of Gabriel Antoine as Lily was hired as Delphine her midwife (who was 10 weeks pregnant at the time) and Silas was Gabriel his closest friend and advisor

Lily immediately took interest in Silas but didn’t immediately fall for him; because during moments he was too cocky for her liking.

Eventually Silas asked her on a date and she had agreed. They’d talked all night and Lily first saw his dark warlock marks.

The marks were dark veins that almost seemed like burns and the ones lily encountered were fresh.

Her older brother Jonathan had struggled with this prior and she had lost him due to this so she noticed the signs.

“Do my arms interest you” in a pivot she said “i was admiring your tattoo”

Luckily Silas was covered in them.

They had talked for hours still and in the end Lily looked him in the eyes and played with her fingers kind of nervously.

“I have a son” “you do?” “I do, he is three. I dont want you to continue this...date if thats not something you want”

Silas had laughed at that. “Tell me about him”

She had never been as open about Riley until that moment. And she knew she was safe with Silas. And that when she felt safe enough; Riley would be.

She helped him with his darker magic. Helped him control it and eventually beat the habit of the darker magic.

They moved into an old barn with the two of them where Silas eventually started his “bakery” more wider since he did already start it before

Eventually they had seven more children; ending with a little girl in the year 1996.

The order of their kids being Riley, Chris, Daniel, Rhys, Felix, Eli, Ethan, Allison

I will add more later

[allisonlyanna]

Allison: watch out or you can end up in *reads gaol* GAOL

Asher: its jail you idiot

Allison: who spells it that way?

Asher: thats old english

[allisonlyanna]

sisters by love: headpost

heart of ice; part one

life and loss;part two

eloise gray; part three

more to be added if felt like 

@drxmaqceen 

[allisonlyanna]

A secret,buried

@drxmaqceen

Her eyes fluttered open as she heard the noises coming from downstairs. It was usual for Asher to be up; he rarely slept. Due to nightmares and other things his time was spend in his office and his living room more often then not. It was her third time sleeping with her new boyfriend. Her feet touching the wooden stairs as she walked downstairs. Only to see the body of a man on the table. His neck ripped open and blood surrounding him and Asher. The smell of blood was pungent. Like a bunch of herbes wrapped into one. As she saw Asher lean over the corpse. He noticed her being there. He backed off, as he heartbeat deep in her chest. Like a music he didn’t understand the lyrics to. “Get out! Now” he said shouting and growling. Not trusting his control. Allison did as she said and ran through the front door. Where she got outside. Running to Arya her house. Despite her not being terrified; well not too terrified, she still was scared he was behind her.

As Arya opened up she made Allison a cup of tea. Both of them were still wearing pajamas. “Tell me it isn’t true. Tell me I just had a nightmare or a vision or something and that I ran here for nothing.” Allison her voice was fast and panicked. Vampires weren’t exactly the best friends of flower and dragon witches. They usually forced them to work for them. Yet Asher wasn’t like that. His nature wasn’t like that. Arya pulled Ally close to feel her fast heartbeat as she sighed. “He is one, Allison. Has been since that Isabelle bitch broke his heart. She bit him, once she told him it was a game. No one trusts a vampire can lead a gang. He turned alone. It was cruel. And bitter. He hurt many people; but when he got a hold of it he stopped. And started to get collective” Arya explained. “He wouldn’t hurt you.” She then said. “He told me to leave. Arya everything was covered in blood. As if he had butchered him” she spoke. “Asher...he is a rough kind of vampire. He doesn’t feed without...a mess.” She said and sighed.

Asher ignored Allison for three weeks. Ignoring calls, texts, letters. Even when she was in front of his door he wouldn’t open it. Embarrassed. And scared. Scared of what she’d think of him. Something that hadn’t bothered him in centuries. Today she was at his door again. The second time in three weeks. And he decided to open up. His eyes, that were their usual icy blue, stared at her as she sighed deeply. And hugged him. He hugged her back gently. He smelled of burnt wood, and whiskey. Of nicotine and blood. And she, she smelled like fresh flowers and parchment. Of books and tea. “I love you.” She whispered. “Even now.” She then added and looked at him. “I am a monster.” He then said cold; he didn’t care he was one. “Aren’t we all?” she asked. And with a small touch she got his eyes to their red color that showed when he was thirsty. It was to make him look like a killer so their prey wouldn’t fight. She sighed. “Take mine.” Was all she whispered and led him to the room.

[allisonlyanna]

Blood

@drxmaqceen

Whenever he bit Allison, he always made sure it was neat and clean. Asher Beaumont rarely fed, especially not off of a human. But whenever Allison noticed his cheeks fall in, or the blue of his eyes turning thunderstorm blue, she usually suggested it.

It was a cold night; a fullmoon night as well. Even after many battles his thirst for blood had been kept at bay. When Allison walked into their bedroom. Wearing her black silky nightgown she sat down on his lap. Her hair in a small braid on her shoulder. “You really think I don’t notice?” Was all she whispered. Asher sighed. Allison her blood was like drugs. Like ecstasy, and cocaïne. Like a small promise he had once in a while. A feeling that brought him high and low at the same time. Which was why he stayed away from it more often. But this time she leaned her head back against his chest. Her blue eyes looking into his. Beaming with life and love. “Feed.” Was all she whispered. And before she knew his teeth were in her shoulder.

Usually his bites weren’t this rough. It would be done gently. And done on a place where Silas couldn’t see it. No one could. He drank rather greedily. And her soft cries turned to gasps. Her hand unclenched from his. And her eyes closed. Too tired to struggle or even fight. A fight between a flower witch and a vampire was rarely fair anyway.

He stopped feeding, after a while. But noticed her pale skin, and her eyes closed. Her gown was covered in the blood. As was her chest. And the sheets. The bite was rough. And would leave a scar unlike the others he had made. He got up, his hands shaky as he grabbed some hot water and cleaned her skin. Her wound still bled. And he closed it with a bandage. Guilt rising through his throat. “Be okay Ally, you be fucking okay.” He mumbled. He then changed the sheets. And even changed her gown and laid her down more comfortably. He covered his face with his hands.

Her eyes opened after three hours. She’d taken the time to heal, to rest. She saw him standing on the balcony with a whiskey. “Are you okay?” She asked him. Her speech was soft, and tired. As he turned to her and sat beside her on the bed. “I bite you and drain your blood, and you worry about me?” He asked as he looked at the smaller redhead in the bed. Her icy blue eyes staring at him. “Yeah.” Was all she said. She then touched her neck and shivered. “I am sorry Ally” Asher said and took her hands as she shook her head. “You had to feed. It has been fo ur months. Its just...a bit more bruised than the last few times” she whispered and kissed him. “Come lie with me. Please. I am not afraid of you” she whispered. “You are a mortal ally. How are you not scared?” “I’ve been hurt worse” she whispered and by that pulled him close.

[allisonlyanna]

Hidden truths

@drxmaqceen technically she is your character, I am sorryy

Anastasia knew she had to tell the truth one day. About herself, about her powers. About his faith. She also knew that she wouldn’t have long anymore. Her days were counted. Bullets, knives and sickness. A witches weakness weren’t very limited. They were like mortals anyway. She wouldn’t die of sickness, a lie Robbert would tell. More for himself than for his adult sons. The sanity will leave his mind too, she thought. He’d be weak too. She covered her face yet picked a piece of paper and a fountain pen with black ink. Sighing deeply. She started. But the words didn’t come as easy as she thought. She closed her eyes. And just went through her memories like they were a stack of pictures.

Dear Asher,

When you read this letter, I will have been dead for years. You must have questions. Questions you will answer the same way your dad always did. With a bottle of whiskey. And a few cigarettes. Eventually you’ll come to bed to your wife. And wonder if she knew. She won’t know much longer than you. Because I never wanted anyone to know. You always asked why I had a flower right on the palm in my wrist. And why on some nights my eyes went white. And how I knew exactly when you were faking that you were sick. Also how I knew exactly when you were worried about becoming a father cause you weren’t safe. I also know you’ll frown at this letter and think of it as a joke. Its not a joke, my boy. I know the future won’t be easy on you either. You’ll be torn, and broken. And tested. Right now you are just 21. You are upstairs. Sleeping deeply. Well, that’s what you said you were going to do. I was a witch, your father was immortal. But my gene never passed on. Not to you, not to your brothers and not to delaney. My bloodline has died. Don’t be scared of the magic your wife will posses. And don’t be scared for your children. Not the same way you were scared of me, for your brothers.

She ended the letter. And sighed deeply. As last she wrote “your mum” down on the bottom. She closed the letter, put it in an envelope and sealed it with wax. She wrote his initials on it. The same as hers. A.B. In a cursive writing. She then put a spell on it. It would only appear on the day he was allowed to know. Not sooner. Nor later. For nights, she had dreamt about him and a girl. A woman. Way younger than him. With deep red locks of hair and a dragon on her chest. And flowers drawn on her skin too. A fertile. She also noticed her eyes were mirrors of Asher his. But could turn at will. Just like her appearance. A combination of the Langdon and Chevron bloodline. So she wrote a spell. And a letter to Lily Langdon. And when the time came. Lily put the dragon on her daughters chest. With the blessing of her future mother in law.

[allisonlyanna]

A friendship like the stars

@drxmaqceen (i dislike this soo much)

Amongst immortals, sirens and witches; being friends with one another wasn’t always something new. It was a cold night in 1914, it was March. Lily was three months pregnant, for the third time. Her other two boys were playing with Delaney, the youngest daughter of Robbert and Anastasia. Elizabeth was bouncing her little baby girl on her knee. A girl named Arya. “You are pretty big for three months.” Robbert said, honestly. He was known for his ‘big mouth’ and his even bigger ways of saying things. “You certainly aren’t known for flirting with women” Lily said now and raised her eyebrows. Robbert grinned and took a big gulp of his whiskey as two boys walked in. “

Asher and Charlie Beaumont were already adolescents. Asher sat down besides Silas who was 28 now. “Pass me the whiskey, dad” Asher said as Robbert looked at him. He frowned at his son as Asher rolled his eyes “please” the just turned 24 year old said. Robbert handed him the whiskey. “So, you two have enrolled in the army?” The words escaped James Delgado sr before he could even stop them. “Yes sir.” Charles responded. Holding up his cup as Lily looked a bit worried. A look Delphine and Anastasia had already shared with the boys. “Will you two be careful?” She asked now. Worry in her voice as she played with her wedding ring. “Of course, Aunt Lils. We wouldn’t want to die before meeting your son.” Asher said. Part of him, the gypsy part, had been reffering to the unborn baby as her son. Yet he knew something was off. Arya let out a protesting coo. “She doesn’t agree with it being a boy” Silas grinned as Elizabeth looked down at her daughter. “She is sleepy.” She said and got up. “I’ll be right back.” She said and walked up the stairs. Lily let out a tired sigh as she just looked at Robbert and Anastasia who were whispering a little to one another. As suddenly one of the twins ran to their mom. And got close to her. Felix followed his brother as he looked up. “Eli fell asleep and then had a nightmare. I didn sleep mommy! I was playing with Delaney.” Felix said, he -like silas- shared bright orange hair. Same as his twin brother. They were too conceived with help, but no one needed to know that. Delphine had helped them with love and they knew that. “Alright, but you knew Delaney also needed to go to sleep. You might be twelve but Delaney is eight. Come on. Tell her to get to bed” Lily said motherly. And Felix walked off to Delaney. And half shouted “MY MUMMY TOLD YOU TO GO TO BED!” Which responded in Delaney getting startled and crying about the screaming. “Jesus fucking-” Asher got up and walked to his little sister. Picking her up as he held her close. “Felix, little man hm. If you do that to any girl, they don’t like that. But you don’t have a sister so you don’t know” “i want a sister” Felix complained some and then patted Delaney on the back. “sorry. I usually do that to Eli. I didn’t want to scare you.” He said softly and kissed her cheek. Like an older brother would and smiled proudly at Asher. Then he walked back to his parents.

This was the last night the family, the friends, and the people were together.

[drxmaqceen]

Matthew Beaumont

-Matthew Beaumont.

-Son of Delphine Beaumont.

-The only thing he knows about his father is that he was a Werewolf.

-he can't complain about his childhood. His mother gave him everything he needed and he was best friends with one of his cousins named Oliver.

-At the age of 20 he got attacked by some vampires and used for an experiment. They used vampire venom to make him a hybrid.

-He disappeared out his mothers life, worked along the vampires as their killing machine until he knew he could take revenge. He killed all the vampires that turned him into the monster he is today.

- The relationship with his mother is good yet his bad side can drive Delphine crazy. He doesn't give alot about people and does everything he is forbidden to do.

-Matthew has an adoptive sister named Arya. The relationship between the two is very complicated. They love eachother alot but fight as well and not just some small fights. Eventhough Matthew isn't the sweetest and Arya doesn't agree with most of his plans she never left his side.

-Matthew is very protective over Arya. He hates the boys Arya had been dating. Even almost killed one if Delphine hadn't stopped him from doing it. The relationship between Matthew and Arya her husband Tristan isn't great either but they make it work for Arya.

-not only does he has an adoptive sister he also has a younger half brother. His name is Caleb and they do have an age difference but he loves his little brother alot. He will do anything to keep his little brother out of trouble.

-He spend his time as an assassin to earn money and gets in bad buissnes to become more powerful.

-He still has a room at his mothers house but also doesn't mind sleeping around with different girls, a thing he is known for.

[More will come later]

[allisonlyanna]

Family dinners

@drxmaqceen

It was the first time the Chevrons and Beaumonts really did come together. Delphine had insisted that Allison her family came too. And because the Grays were all dead; it left Astoria and Silas alive. Allison sat by the table, baking cookies when Silas and Astoria came into the house. “Da! Auntie” Allison had been hiding with the beaumonts for weeks. And seeing her own family was a rare treat for her. She hugged them both tightly. Silas smiled softly and looked at his daughter. “All grown up” he said as Astoria felt her power—a creator of spells, of life and death. She felt it deeply.

When everyone was seated and talking, Astoria and Delphine both seemed to remember the same story. “The child of light and dark.” Delphine mumbled as she looked up at her daughter and son. Asher just frowned. Thinking Delphine was in thoughts again. “What?” Allison asked, feeling the gazes all towards her. Even Tristan and Arya theirs. “The child of loght and dark, its a story that went on in the 1700s. The child of an immortal and a mortal. A witch even.” Astoria said. “And you thought of this because?” Allison then asked as Delphine chuckled. “Because my dear child, you are connected to that simple bloodline. You too are a child of death and life. You could conceive the child of someone...not alive.” Allison rolled her eyes. Asher never seemed to have trouble conceiving; otherwise he wouldn’t have a son. She on the other hand, was as sterile as a needle in the hospital. “I can’t bear any child, Delphine. I am a witch. A warlock even.” “Thats not true, my dear. I can not bear a child. But you, you are different. Special” Allison rolled her eyes. “You and Asher can ensure our families don’t die out.” Delphine then said as Asher shook his head. “Nonsense; Maggie was simply -un-lucky enough to find herself pregnant with my kid but even then, I shouldn’t have any biologically speaking. And Allison can’t even have children” he said. Frustration half rolling of his tongue as Allison stroke his wrist a little. “Its okay Asher, it doesn’t hurt me” she whispered and he half settled in his chair.

That night Allison had a dream. She was outside and there was laughter of a little boy. With deep blue eyes like Asher, yet her blonde-ish hair. And her pale skin. He ran to her and just chuckled. “Mommy play too! Mommy play too!” Before she woke up. And a sort of sadness arose in her chest before she cuddled closer to Asher.

[allyandtherest]

Astoria Chevron-Thorne

@drxmaqceen

“Never had I seen a warlock turn from his or her magic, except my brother”

Born on the 13th of November, 1878.

She is the younger sister of Silas Chevron. And was born a warlock as well

She is the wife of Erik Thorne, who was a high warlock in Norway.

She, like her brother, is jewish. And speaks fluent Hebrew.

She took Allison her house for a year after Lily died. And always saw how the girl turned away from her magic.

She believes her magic is important. And she will protect people with it.

She isn’t worlds biggest fan of the Beaumonts.

She is bi sexual, and actually had a girlfriend before.

She is 50 years old and stopped aging at this age. Later then her older brother.

[drxmaqceen]

Dylan Langdon

-Dylan Frances Langdon.

-born November 4

-is known as a cold sarcastic boy. He likes to joke around but mostly takes his jokes too far yet when you actually get to know him he's a kind person that would do everything to keep his loved ones safe.

-in the world of drugs, parties and gangs he lost himself. He pushed all his loved ones away and just did everything that god forbid him to do. He lost contact with his girlfriend, friends and family.

-one night he just disappeared and no one knew where he went. He had joined a special team of the army and worked in Afghanistan.

-the time he was gone he never sended any letters or called. He wrote the letters but was too scared to send them. He knew how horrible he had treated his loved ones.

-after 6 yeard he was back. He first went to his father, his mother had passed away when he was just a young boy. After that he went to Allison Gray and he might had missed her the most.

- the time he came back he found out the girl that used to be his girlfriend, someone he deeply loved had died in a fight between the gangs. From that moment till now he still hates himself for the fact he couldn't protect her.

-When he was back he started to work for Asher Beaumont. He was a good sniper, learned it in Afghanistan but only did it when Asher really needed one. Otherwise he just worked in one of the bars.

-he doesn't have a relationship with someone, if he doesn't wanne be alone after work he mostly invites a girl over and they always gladly come along.

[allisonlyanna]

The maid

“The maid who comes downstairs first after shift is the one in love with the master”

@drxmaqceen

Her eyes opened by the loud sounds downstairs. “Oi give me back my gun!” She heard Asher shout as she was used to these shouts. Another woman. A new one. His tone was different too. She sighed and pulled over a bathrobe. Hiding most of her body as she wore a pair of shorts and a top as pijamas. First checking on Liam who was still asleep as she sighed and closed his door before going downstairs as the woman had also shouted for Allison multiple times. “See, told you she’d come.” Sasha said softly as Allison sighed tiredly. “I only came because you guys are fucking loud. If you want to fuck so desperately just do it in the bedroom. But there is a four year old sleeping, and I am trying to get mine too!” Before stumbling back upstairs. Sasha looked at Asher “you let her talk to you like that” “not usually, but she is right.” “Oh and return his gun, he will lose his shit” Allison shout from upstairs

When Sasha was asleep Asher decided to get to Allison her room. The room wasn’t as big as the others but it was big enough. As he opened the door he saw Allison fast asleep and just put down a note that said “i am sorry.” Written in his handwriting as she made a soft noise reacting to his presence. He closed the door again and then got to his room. He didn’t sleep with Sasha. And t didn’t take long till he was asleep. After a little while he heard his door open and saw Allison stand there. She seemed all sleepy eyed but she usually did this after dreaming about Ethan and Lily. Her eyes were a bit teary too as he just got a bit on the side and Allison joined his bed. And she fell asleep just as quick as him.

[drxmaqceen]

Maggie Darwin

-Maggie Harper Darwin.

-Born September 20.

-Comes from a healthy family.

- Has two older sisters.

-Her first real relationship was with Asher Beaumont, they loved eachother alot yet both came from different worlds. It was too different and they broke up yet they still care deeply about eachother.

-A few months once they broke up she and Asher ended up spending the night together after a night out. She got pregnant.

-When Maggie her father found out that she was carrying a child from Asher Beaumont, one of the most feared gang leaders he told her to leave and never come back.

- Asher bought a house for Maggie in the same street he lived. He made sure it had everything she and the baby needed and that he could easily keep an eye on her and the baby. He wanted them both safe.

-Maggie is a sweetheart, everything she does is good and she hates the gang world. She keeps herself out of it yet accepts the others just the way they are. She herself if very innocent and Smart.

-After a stressful but good pregnancy she gave birth to a son. His name is Liam Benjamin Beaumont.

-Her doctor was Allispn Gray. First just her doctor but later she became one of her good friends.

-Maggie and Asher still have a good relationship and raise Liam together. He visits them every day to make sure both of them are good.

-When Liam was older she started a study and ended up being a well known Translator for many different languages.

-Maggie isn't looking for a new lover, she focuses on her child and her work.

[Wanne know more about Asher Beaumont? Tap on the link below]

Asher Beaumont

•Asher his full name is: Asher Matthew Beaumont •he's the oldest sibling born in 1890 •he has 3 more siblings. 1. Charles Beaumont

[allyandtherest]

THE CHARACTERS

The ones in bold are important

Mine

Allison Gray

Amelia Gray-Chevron

Anna Beaumont-Gray

Chris Belcourt

Connor Langdon

Daniel Beaumont-Gray

Daniel Chevron

Delphine Beaumont

Dimitri Belcourt

Elijah Gray

Ethan Gray

Gabriel Antione

Jackson -

Julian Delgado

Lily Gray - Langdon

Lyanna Gray- Antoine

Nathaniel Gray

Ronan Langdon

Theresa Belcourt

Tristan Belcourt

@drxmaqceen

Izzy’s

Anastasia Beaumont

Asher Beaumont

Arya Delgado-Belcourt

Charles Beaumont

Delaney Beaumont

Dylan Langdon

Elizabeth Russo

James Delgado I

James Delgado II

Maggie

Oliver Beaumont

Robbert Beaumont

Roman Donovan

Silas Chelvron

[allisonlyanna]

For a moment; it was normal

@drxmaqceen

Asher had never had his hair longer on the sides. Allison had never not carried a knife with her socks, in case something happened. Yet that changed after they had a son. Samuel Beaumont was born on a sunday morning, on the 21st of December, three days before Christmas. And a month too early. But he stole the hearts of many. Allison was allowed to leave on Christmas eve. Coming back into her house, barely really able to walk due to the stitches. Yet the maid had put up the tree and she saw that Arya had put the presents ,that Allison had bought, under the tree. Wrapped and all. She took Samuel over from Asher and softly walked to the tree with the newborn. “You know what this is Samuel. Its a Christmas tree. It smells really nice but you can’t smell that yet.” She whispered and the newborn reached to the branches. Over the months asher his welly shaven hair had gotten longer. It looked good on him, but softer and unusual. He disliked it, which Allison knew. She turned to Asher and kissed his lips. “I mean, does he count as a Christmas present?” She asked him softly. “I didn’t wrap him or anything” she whispered as Asher chuckled. Something he rarely had done. “Yes it counts” he kissed her and then took over Samuel who just reached for his dad.

It was new years eve and Samuel was already bigger than a usual newborn. It didn’t bother Ally nor Asher, as they knew it was usual. They showed up at the big beaumont house. To see all the cars already on the front. “Your family is already here” she said and got Samuel from his carseat. She was still a bit weak compared to usual but at least she no longer faint every single time. “Hand him to me” Asher said and held out his hands. For the first time he wore a colour under his long black Jacket. A gray blue shirt and just his suspenders that kept his jeans up. And Samuel liked to play with them. Samuel had just managed to puke his milk over his shirt as he was now naked on the top. Allison had asked Delphine if she still had old shirts of Caleb. She did fortunately but now Asher had just put him against his chest and under his long jacket. He was still fast asleep for a little bit before they came inside. Asher looked at Samuel and then looked up. Arya came to them first and first hugged Allison. Then she looked at Samuel and Asher as Allison took off Asher his coat. “You look different. Your hair hasn’t been cut” “dont say it too loud Arya. He doesn’t like his hair like this” “it looks good” Arya said and hugged Asher and then looked at Samuel. “Aunt Arya hold” she said as Delphine then came in. “My son, looking like a normal father for the first time. Impossible” she said and hugged asher and smiled. She then hugged Allison. Asher put Samuel in her arms. He nesteled there pretty quickly. “Don’t say that he looks normal, he doesn’t want to be seen as a softie.” Allison said. And smiled softly. As she went into the living room Charles already got up. “Allison” he said as Allison hugged him. “Are you okay?” She asked as he sighed. “As well as I can be, doctor Gray- when will that be beaumont eh?” “In two years. On September the fifteenth.” asher said now. He came in as Arya sat down with Samuel besides Tristan. “Oi!” Arya said. “You already are planning your marraige, did you even propose yet Asher” she said as Allison looked at asher and shook her head. “He hasn’t yet” she said softly and then looked at Asher who shook his head.

[beingher]

Her son; her last letter alive

@drxmaqceen

Dear Samuel,

If you got this letter on your eighteenth birthday it unfortunately means I wasn’t there to see it. I wrote this in advance, you are only a few months old now. Babbling away already. To everything and everyone. I am sorry I have to write this letter; but even more sorry you have had to receive it.

I hope your father survived without me, in one way or another. And that you were always surrounded by love. If not from your father than from your aunt and uncle. Though I always see your dad smile at you, as if you are his world. Perhaps you are. I hope you don’t hate me for what happened, because I didn’t do it because I didn’t love you. I did it because i loved you so much that the thought of losing you terrified me.

I tried to safe you, I hope you are safe. I really hope you are. God I love you so much. Ever since I first found out about you I have loved you and its only gotten bigger. I hope you’ve become the strong young man I always saw in my dreams. Who knows whats right and wrong.

I am sorry, my little buddy.

Mommy loves you.