2014: today i walked by and everything i was holding in exploded from my chest and attached to my arm and legs like shackles.
i was drowning, flailing and gasping for air. i want to swim and run and speed away but the farther i got the more lost i was.
what is really sad is the fact that i have become incapable of being liked--let alone loved and it's all my fault. i want to blame you but i can't blame you for everything that led to this. the way the story is told it really is my fault.
no one hears about the last messages and the sweet words shattered by blank stares and how you loved my best friend. HOW COULD YOU DO THAT?
i am still bitter.
i know there's convoluted and conflicting layers of emotions that you don't understand. i see it everyday. i don't know how you can hide behind these relationships with girls you don't love. you're as not one-dimensional as you seem. how can i feel an absurd amount of strange attachments and fiery hatreds for the choices you’ve made while you project nothing at all.
you have made me a cynical and lonely being. words used to flow from my mouth and my fingertips like symphonies of perfectly articulated emotions. now i choke on simple phrases. i refuse to utter kind words about you and your new life.
my words are poetry without rhythm and my thoughts are fragmented sentences--either way they sound out all wrong. you did this to me.
