...

🖕🏻

[dsfklkghfg]

Hi pala. Life update. Started my MSc -PhD integrated in chemistry sa KAIST south korea. Yey currently 9 days na ko sa korea.

Yun lang. Ang hirap. Nakakabobo hahaha.

[dsfklkghfg]

Naiiyak na ko huhu idk how everything works outt

[dsfklkghfg]

Akala ko kaya ko huhu

[dsfklkghfg]

H H H ugh

[dsfklkghfg]

I'm a fcking failure i guess?

[dsfklkghfg]

Fck u all.

[dsfklkghfg]

Happyyy new year

[dsfklkghfg]

Hindi na bago sa'kin mag pasko nang walang handa.

Naranasan ko nung bata ako na itlog sardinas lang ang handa.

But this year is different.

Graduate na ko. I should be working but I'm not.

Mga kapatid ko, working na.

I feel so guilty na nagresign agad ako.

Fck can't say what i want to say.

Basta ayon. Merry Christmas sa inyo.

[dsfklkghfg]

:(((

[dsfklkghfg]

Akala ko I'm good at what I'm doing pero i fcking realize na sobrang mediocre ko pala.

I just hate this feeling nanaman of missing out. Fck.

Parang mali lahat ng desisyon ko sa buhay and such.

[dsfklkghfg]

random wave of sadness.

Sarap i turndown lahat ng pangarap ko. Idk napapagod na ko bigla.

[dsfklkghfg]

It's either money or dream noh?

Nagresign ako sa current job ko to focus on my masters application.

Though I have the privilege na maging unemployed, ang hirap pa rin pala kasi the idea na palamunin ka sa bahay nyo is fcking annoying.

[dsfklkghfg]

I'm 22 now.

Going 23.

And I already surrender my own future. What I mean is di na ko gagawa ng ways to fix or have a happy future for myself. Like, Paano ako pagtanda. Sino mag aalaga sakin? Sino magmamahal sakin? Mag isa ba ko? What will make me happy or what. Paano ako makakahanap ng partner or what.

I'm just now living for my parents. I just want to give them the things they do deserve.

After that, I'm done. Pede na ko mamatay.

[dsfklkghfg]

Ang bigat lang ng puso ko ngayong gabi

Seeing my old bestfriends catch up without me, lalang.

Ramdam na ramdam ko yung pagiging floater friend ko.

Like before I'm with them laughing tas ngayon same scenario the only difference is that wala ako ron.

But their smile. Ganun pa rin. Nakakatuwa. Kasi they're happy.

Iniisip ko nga eh, is it my fault?

Na i move on too fast with the connections I made?

Parang it's too late lang to bring them in in your life.

Na nakakahiyang magsabi ng problema mo sa kanila.

Not because of the common reason that u think na self sabotage eme na no is there for u, but because alam mo namang hindi ka mabibigyan ng chance to reciprocate that gesture sa kanila. Sino ka ba para pagsabihan nila ng problema? U r not even the favorite friend. U r not even the most trusted by that person.

Gets mo ko? Haha.

[ramenagiii]

Pagod na ako kaka boop, bukas ulit 😂🥲

[pagodx2-deactivated20250315]

(2)

[dsfklkghfg]

Nafufrustrate ako kasi putangina i want to provide sa fam ko kahit simple groceries pero after computing my sahod tangina di talaga sapat

[dsfklkghfg]

I'm sad.

Binlihan ako nila ate ng polo na worth 2.5k para makuha nila yung discount sa store.

Pinapabayaran nila sakin.

Kakastart ko lang mag work and first sahod ko this coming end of the month.

I'm fcking sad and frustrated kasi I'm not that kind of person na magastos when it comes to material things.

Second, mababa lang ang sahod ko. 2.5k is too much for me. I have plans na for that sahod tas mababago lang dahil sa fcking polo na yan.