DT's Writing Thing

An ongoing writing experiment for some writing student or something. Anime thoughts, game reviews, brief analytical pieces.

[dtswritingthing]

Hey, so...

If anyone’s still paying attention to this thing, I’ve started a new blog over on WordPress now that my degree is almost finished. This one’s a little more freeform; less reviews, more analytical stuff. Check it out if you’re interested.

https://themetacap.wordpress.com/

[dtswritingthing]

Indefinite Hiatus

Yeah, it was kinda obvious this was gonna happen at some point. Fact of the matter is, with my part time job, my internship, and my upcoming thesis semester, I just don’t have the surplus of free time I need to keep running this thing. And if I’m being completely honest, I kinda miss just watching anime without like, taking notes, y’know? I’m going to leave the blog up, though, no real reason to take it down, and if my brain spits out another review or opinion piece or whatever, I’ll throw it up here. But what I imagine is the main draw for those of you here (those of you who aren’t robot blogs, anyway), that being the anime stuff is ending. So thanks for checking out this little experiment of mine.

[dtswritingthing]

You ever felt an urge to put a funny hat on a statue? It’s sort of like that.

If it's really bothering Yuta to hear Moriko talk about him and Koiwai, he could just ask her as Lily not to talk about it.

Pfft, now that Yuta knows Hayashi is Moriko, he can't help but blush when she calls Lily cute. That's kind of sweet.

Oh for fuck's sake, Yuta. Either nut up and ask her out, or nut up and admit you're Lily. There needs to be some nutting up here!

Is Koiwai picking up Fruits de Mer because he's actually interested, or because he just wants another chance to hit on Moriko? I sincerely hope it's the former.

Huh, Koiwai made a giant buff lady. Most guys I know who play female characters in games tend to take the cute path, but to each his own, I suppose.

Yes, yes, Yuta and Moriko played together before in a completely different game. We all figured that out already, thank you.

Okay, I guess if you gotta make another character for an excuse to talk to Moriko, Yuta...

[dtswritingthing]

So either we stop a maniac with godlike power from destroying literally every other reality, or we let some shitty high schooler die. Oh no. What a conundrum.

Oh, Maria has popped back into existence. That's nice, I guess.

You don't need to be a hero to exhibit basic human decency, Emi.

Wait, the inside of Joji's ship isn't set for livability? Well, how the hell did he fly it then?

Has Kaan just been chilling in that crystal this whole time? At least give him a phone or something so he could watch videos.

I can't quite put it into words, but something irritates me about Emi yucking it up with her friends when she just recently wouldn't give them the time of day.

"Guess?" Ken just guessed where Kaido was in the entire multiverse? And he got it RIGHT?

Actually, yeah, if Kaido can just rend reality at his leisure, what is actually preventing him from being with Emi? If she's about to get hit by a car or something, couldn't he just erase it?

Huh, he's a robot. When Kaido said he was just "emotions," I didn't think he was being so literal.

Oh yeah, Belle's probably a little salty about Kaido being a robot. Robots ain't got no genes.

Just from touching the Case, Emi now has reality-warping potential? Sigh, fine, whatever.

I suppose Belle could get Kaido's genes from Emi. They're probably really whiny, worthless genes, though.

And now Belle's a robot. Everyone gets to be a goddamn robot today.

[dtswritingthing]

Is Eizan even capable of cooking without having some kinda dirty scheme in the background? Like, if he ever just made microwave popcorn, would there be a bomb duct-taped to the microwave or something?

I very frequently forget that Totsuki actually has regular-ass classrooms.

On one hand, it kinda makes sense to change the curriculum to actually TEACH cooking as opposed to making it a competition. Y'know, like every other cooking school in the world. On the other hand, though, you can't deny the results the competition structure has created.

It's only been a day, and Central already has its own army of MiBs. Azami must have some great connections on Craigslist.

This is a rather aggressive policy. Polar Star isn't a "decision-making entity," it's a frigging dorm.

Wow, Eizan, bet you feel real big with crooked judges. Don't even have to be a decent cook if the game's rigged, eh, buttcrack?

Come to think of it, if Central was just gonna rig the Shokugeki system in their favor anyway, why didn't they just abolish it outright? The Elite Ten's in Azami's pocket, it's not like anyone could or would overturn it.

Not that I condone the dorm being shut down, but it's not you need to live together to make school memories with your friends.

Why is Eizan surprised? Even against insurmountable odds, it'd be stranger if Soma didn't challenge him.

Rindo has the most miraculous talent for sucking all the tension out of a room.

[dtswritingthing]

Fluids wash off, but the knowledge of what that phone was used for will haunt Totty for years.

Again with the cavemen? Didn't they all fall in a volcano last time?

It seems the Cavematsus were the first to discover anal play.

Wow, even the narrator has no idea why we're doing a Romance of the Three Kingdoms bit.

I am actually terrified by the prospect of Jyushi as a military strategist.

It's an oddly prevalent joke in this series for someone to put up a friendly front and then just casually reveal what a horrible person they are.

Am I supposed to know who "Sousou" is?

Wow, warriors in Three-Kingdoms-Era China punch really hard.

What possible reason would Totty bring Oso to a mixer?

Oso without pervy thoughts... pretty much doesn't exist.

Did Oso just spank it in that restaurant's bathroom? Well, that's one way to calm down before a mixer, I guess.

Wow, I think Oso might have every single body part fetish. I don't think one spank was enough.

He's not even telling jokes, he's just straight-up coming on to these girls. This is kind of creepy.

Okay, apparently Oso is only good at talking to women when all parties involved are drunk off their asses. Good to know.

Unfortunately, talking to women in that manner doesn't really count. Too bad, Oso.

[dtswritingthing]

Seems Sylphin gets her eccentricities from her mom.

Umaru would never live in a tent. There's no wifi.

I didn't know Kirie was a swimmer. Maybe that's why her hair's so frizzy, it's got chlorine in it.

Kirie's been writing storybooks with Umaru as a character? That's... not a bad idea, actually.

Do girls usually wear kimonos on Girls' Day? I thought they just put the dolls up and that was the end of it.

Is it me, or have we been visiting Sylphin's house a lot this season?

Dude, I think Sylphin's mom might be some kinda master of teleporting magic.

Whoa, Kirie watched Umaru so closely she actually saw through the anime filter. That's quite the perception check.

Why is Kirie so self-conscious about her storybook? That's a very marketable skill.

Ebina is quite perceptive in the realm of friends.

If it's too early to turn the AC on, just put a big fan at the foot of your bed.

You pulled the trigger too early, Umaru. He wasn't completely buttered up yet.

I'm surprised they can see the night sky so clearly living in a city.

[dtswritingthing]

God dammit, Miko, don't ship your friends.

Okay, no, seriously, why are we starting every episode with fanservice shots from sporty friend?

Ooh, an anime pilgrimage. I've heard of these; people visit real-life landmarks that have appeared in anime.

Wow, I had no idea local governments were so proactive with accommodating anime fans. It must be a tourism bonanza.

Looks like Kai's a chest man.

Oh, Kai. Don't get your hopes up, bro. I don't think Miko's into you.

Man, could you imagine if Japan had a minister of anime? That'd be the most sought-after position in the government. Like, more than the prime minister.

"Girls and Tanks." Hardy har har.

Does Kai usually imagine internal emotional conflicts as super-powered battles? What am I saying, it's Kai.

How hard is it to reserve a hotel with TVs? That ain't exactly a luxury.

Analyze a girl's action with a clean slate, without any preconceptions. That's the best goddamn advice any anime character has ever received.

...advice that Kai seems intent on misinterpreting.

Everyone has a really positive image of Minoa. I'm glad everyone has become friends.

Kai, for god's sake, Minoa's lost in the woods. Have a sense of priorities.

Real-life god rays cover an errant dick.

[dtswritingthing]

Is that a goddamn Ghostbuster? He's got a proton pack and a jumpsuit and everything.

Just how frequently does Leo have flashbacks to when Michella lost her sight?

I was wondering when we'd see Luciana again.

Oh yeah, she's experienced in both human and inhuman medicine. She'd probably be a good person to ask about helping Michella.

A breach of contract...? Wait, so if Leo tried to have his all-seeing eyes removed, that thing that gave them to him would just pop outta nowhere and wreck his ass? Wow, that sucks.

I've never understood the whole "tortoise knight" thing.

We've seen Steven when he's angry. He's a goddamn gentleman, and it's terrifying.

D'aww, Gilbert's niece got married. That's nice.

The entrance to Libra's elevator just disappeared? Fucking magical physics are so annoying.

Even Chain couldn't slip past the office's defenses. That's worrying.

I'm surprised Klaus has enough blood to stab-climb a whole building without passing out.

Wow, that bug man went down like a total jobber. So much for becoming a god.

[dtswritingthing]

Apparently, fairy royalty don't care much for Christianity. Who knew.

Wait, is that the same sorcerer that screwed over Matthew? How the hell is he still alive?

"You'll never be forgiven for buying a human?" Uh, correct me if I'm wrong, Sherlock, but I'm pretty sure Chise was being sold at an auction house for SORCERERS.

Elias always has irons in the fire. Lady friend dying in three years? Start working on the plan now.

Chise is surprisingly resolved to stay with Elias no matter what, even if his reasons for buying her weren't exactly chivalrous.

Chise really needs to stop exhausting herself into comatose states, it's probably not healthy.

Why is she sleeping in some kinda weird tree-hammock instead of like, a bed?

Ah, ambient forest magic. Yeah, I guess that makes sense.

Okay, some kinda forest deity lady has made a rather dramatic entrence.

Oh shit, it's Titania, the real-ass queen of the fairies. She's a big deal.

That's Oberon? I know he's supposed to be young, but he looks a little too... bishy.

Boy, Titania's got him whipped.

God dammit, Oberon, I don't want to think about Elias and Chise making babies. Yet.

[dtswritingthing]

She ain’t even gonna dignify that with a response.

What does a hippo need off of Amazon?

Glasses? Are we doing some kinda They Live thing here?

This is a pretty elaborate prank they're setting up, though it hinges on the assumption that Wagner is the next person that opens the front door.

So this is Kanae's mom. She's quite peppy.

She'd certainly have to be eccentric to marry Kyogo.

...though, for someone who travels around the world to get a few jars of honey, perhaps "eccentric" is putting it mildly.

What possible plan could Wagner have that involves dressing Dvorak up like a rhino?

Okay, Wagner and Dvorak used to live and work in a hotel. That's kind of random.

Wait, did Wagner just walk up to Himeka and say "I'm your son?" Wouldn't she like, know if she had another kid? I mean, I guess he could be Kyogo's illegitimate kid, but...

That's a lot of money. I'm willing to bet it'll all disappear before Kanae can use it to repay Kyogo's debts.

THAT was Wagner's plan? Storm the Arkhe building and demand Bach be his producer? Jesus Christmas, this kid really is botched.

I see Bach is still doing his dumb music speak thing.

Wait, so Wagner does have Musik?

Oh, no, never mind. Yep, he's botched. Too bad, I was looking forward to some Ride of the Valkyries.

Yep, called it, money's all gone, and for the "it's me" scam no less.

And now Wagner is an Arkhe executive. Bach's motives are truly complex.

[dtswritingthing]

...No comment.

...ah. It seems I gave Koiwai too much credit, it really was just Moriko's mistake. Ho hum.

But it looks like Yuta's rolling with it regardless! Check out this player over here!

Or not. God dammit...

Okay, fine, whatever, as long as they're spending time together, I guess it doesn't matter who's being an idiot.

Not surprising Moriko forgot about the chicken thing, it was pretty awkward. I'd want to forget it too.

Y'know, it's dawned on me that no matter how many hints get dropped, these two will probably never realize that they're game buddies until the end of the series, if even then.

A lot of people keep their jobs not because they love them, but because they have coworkers they don't completely hate.

Well, at least Koiwai gave Yuta his honest go before taking a shot at Moriko.

It's kinda weird to spend a date talking about how compatible you'd be with someone else.

I've never seen someone just fall asleep at a restaurant like that. Moriko just really has no alcohol tolerance at all.

Wow, Yuta was actually so worried that Koiwai would bad touch Moriko that he sprinted all the way to his house.

[dtswritingthing]

I mean, I think we’ve established that at this point.

Yeah, go see your dad, the megalomaniacal reality-destroying supervillain by yourself. Great plan, Emi, can't possibly go wrong.

So Z went to the trouble of making robot doppelgangers of all of the heroes, but he couldn't even be bothered to paint them?

How can a robot mimic Polymar's shapeshifting abilities?

Ah, we're doing the BioShock Infinite thing, then. In every conceivable reality, Emi's death is a constant. Yeah, that would probably mess a guy up a bit.

Z's wish was for Emi to survive? Then why all the minions and world conquest malarky?! Dude, you're done! Emi's fine, more or less!

Z destroyed entire realities just to give their possibilities to Emi? Bro, I get you love your daughter, but let's have a sense of priority here, okay?

Ken's Birdrangs have a surprisingly large blast radius.

"Possibilities stopped being replenished?" So, what, every minute Emi lives, another version of her dies off? Shit, the multiverse really wants this girl dead.

Did Emi just give him the case back? God dammit, woman, you had one job.

[dtswritingthing]

The surprisingly literal pain of hypocrisy.

Wow, Mr. and Mrs. Matsuno actually wrote "ha ha ha" in their letter. Rude. And weird. Ruird.

And they PS'd a rant. They think of everything.

I'd expect Iyami to be beat up and filthy, but why is he wearing a negligee?

Ah. That's why. How depressing.

It's a good thing Iyami's teeth are nearly indestructible, or he probably wouldn't be able to eat all of that not-food. Though, eating and digesting are two different things...

They keep giving Iyami stuff just because he praises them. They're treating him like a puppy. And why is he still wearing the negligee?

As expected, the moment he's at full health, Iyami is a piece of shit.

And there's our second Totty face.

I've seen people try to steal friends metaphorically, but never literally.

Huh, y'know, I don't think Totoko and Chibita have ever actually had a conversation onscreen. Not that I can recall, anyway.

Totty doesn't know what a friend is? Isn't he supposed to be the social one?

The obvious punchline here is that everyone is Hatabou's friend and he's just too dumb to realize, though I have a feeling that's not the punchline we're going with.

Or we could just go for a completely different punchline and have him trying to rob people of a girlfriend.

[dtswritingthing]

Is there just a pie version of every kind of meat?

Oh yeah, Taihei's got his two week thing. Betting is now open for the state of the apartment upon his return.

Wait, if Kanau's not part of the trip, how did she get time off work to come with them?

I'm surprised Umaru got up early enough to sneak onto Taihei's train. She really wants that eel.

How do you confuse 8 PM with 8 AM? Isn't that the sort of thing a business person asks for clarification on?

Kanau is Taihei's section chief? Wow, I thought she was just his direct superior. She's achieving a lot for her age.

I've never tried real eel myself, though I did eat a Japanese eel-flavored snack once that was pretty good.

Why are Taihei and co. working in the kitchen if they're there for tech support?

It's impressive that Alex carved an anime figure out of that potato, but he better freeze it before it goes bad.

Wow, the head chef is Ebina's brother. How's that for a coincidence?

Betting has ended. Winners, claim your earnings at the door.

[dtswritingthing]

Oh god. It's summer Comiket. Hide the children.

Closing ceremony? The semester is over already? Guys, c'mon, don't go pulling a Yokai Apartment on me.

"The thing" is coming up this summer? What is- oh no. No no no, please, don't do that to Minoa.

Minoa's dad knows. He knows the storm that is brewing.

No, dude, Neko's right. This is a war. And you will have PTSD by the end of it, that is a guarantee.

Fuck yeah, Kai's one of my guys. Sunday Super Hero Time, yo.

I wonder if any Comiket patron has ever brought one of those outdoor peeing bottles with them.

Comiket is a battlefield, but even a battlefield has kind folks to help newbies.

There are more than a few people out there who learned Japanese for the express purpose of watching RAW anime. Anime is a universal language.

The battle for limited-edition goods is a long and bloody one.

Sakaneko's anime club used to be prestigious? How can an anime club be prestigious?

[dtswritingthing]

Goddamn, Gilbert's car has enough gadgets to give Bruce Wayne a boner.

You know, I don't think we've ever seen Gilbert be attacked like that. I don't actually know what his fighting ability is, assuming he has one.

I didn't know Klaus had a whole legion of servants, especially not such... verbose ones as Philip.

I remember hearing somewhere that Klaus refuses to drink tea brewed by anyone but Gilbert, so Philip pretty much just did the impossible there.

God, even public transit in Hellsalem's Lot is trying to kill you. It really is miraculous that any regular humans still live here.

Wow, Leo is so used to being mugged that he's started strategizing.

I wonder how long Gilbert's been serving Klaus' family.

Goddammit, right after Gilbert tells Philip people would steal his brain if he gets involved with Libra, someone steals his brain.

When a member of Libra says you will be torn limb from limb, they always mean it. It pays to remember that.

Gilbert's techniques stem from his driving skills. Should've figured.

Holy shit, sonic speed dragster mode. That's kickass.

Huh, Gilbert's some kinda regenerating demon. Wouldn't have guessed.