cuz a normal human being wouldn't need to pretend to be normal

A place where I will probably spend a majority of time screaming about YGO, especially VRAINS. Sometimes other stuff concurrently and inconsistently, I'm afraid, but VRAINS is the one constant.

[dinosaws]

Let's go to the movies, I will hum you a song about nothing at all

Satoru liked watching Suguru eat.

Suguru usually ate well. There were times when he ate a little less because his stomach was upset. Satoru wasn’t sure if it was because of consuming curses or if it was because Suguru worried too much. But he usually ate. Not as much as Satoru, but then…no one ever eats as much as Satoru.

Satoru liked when they went out to restaurants or ate together in the dorm kitchen. When he got to sit across from Suguru and watch him directly. Suguru’s eyes softened as he ate, eyelids lowered, but eyebrows slightly raised. His bangs tickled his cheek as he chewed, and his face flushed with the warmth of the meal. Sometimes, in the summer, when it was particularly humid, he’d even sweat a little. He leaned forward at the waist, shoulders rounded in a way they never were when he was standing, and his lips curled around his chopsticks or his spoon. His lips moved so neatly, even when he was pushing a large bundle of noodles into his mouth.

And sometimes…sometimes, he’d look up at Satoru right in that moment of putting a bite into his mouth.

His violet eyes would gleam brightly with the pleasure of the taste, his thin eyebrows elegantly arched. His cheeks would bulge a little, his tanned skin protruding adorably around his mouth, and his soft lips pursed faintly.

Satoru never let anyone else sit across from Suguru. Initially, when Shoko or Haibara tried, Satoru would refuse to sit down until they moved so he could take that seat. Shoko rolled her eyes and quickly adapted, moving to sit beside Suguru automatically any time they ate together. But Haibara often forgot, and would always look perplexed as to why Satoru was still standing. Once, when they were all out at a restaurant, Nanami said something.

“You’re in Satoru-sama’s seat, Haibara,” he pointed out, lip curled.

Haibara blinked. “Do you prefer to sit by the window, Gojo-san?” Of course, he misunderstood.

But before Satoru could respond, Shoko smirked a little.

“I think he and Geto play footsie while they eat,” she said.

Suguru stiffened in his chair next to her and frowned down at the table.

“It’s just habit,” Suguru interjected. “We always sit across from each other.” Then he looked up at Satoru. “Is it okay if you just sit next to Haibara this time, Satoru?”

Satoru’s food tasted like dirt that afternoon.

-

Read the rest:

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

[calarchive]

So I've been into Vrains recently

[yehudah]

trans bears are literally stronger than any US marine

[they-were-a-skater-gay]

How on earth would they be able to tell that a bear is trans. I’m not saying they can’t be but how would they communicate that.

[yehudah]

:/

[schizm-deactivated]

this is so fucking funny

[specialstarfish]

update:

[fortooate]

we the jury find the defendant not guilty your honor

[the-dao-of-the-zerg]

[simonalkenmayer]

I found this very funny because I had the same thought

[seekerbr]

Recently i decided to search for more interviews about Yugioh in Japanese, and found one that's really enlightening... and also kinda wild

It's with a man called Yoshiro Kataoka, who worked for quite a few TV stations, especially in anime production. The interview is separated in different topics... including one about his work on the second Yu-Gi-oh adaptation, Duel Monsters

I'll be explaining some of what it said here. Note that i translated it with Google Translate, so I'll be warning that it might be somewhat inaccurate:

It starts with him talking about Japanese TV stations, highlighting TV Asahi, where the Toei Yugioh anime (Season 0) was broadcasted on before getting cancelled, because it wasn't getting good ratings. Then, he explains that, one day, Kazuhiko Torishima (at that time editor in chief of Shonen Jump, well known for being Akira Toriyama's editor for a good while) came in and said: "The Yu-Gi-Oh! anime is ending, but the Jump surveys are doing great, so it's unthinkable to stop the anime broadcast at this time. So, I don't care what you do, Kataoka, please make it into an anime and broadcast it" It was proposed to try to make an new show to air on TV Tokyo, since they could get Konami and Bandai to sponsor it...the problem was that TV Asahi and Toei Animation had the rights to rebroadcast and use Yugioh at that moment, so this wouldn't be allowed. Torishima told Kataoka to go get a time slot with TV Tokyo while he dealt with the rest. He went to talk to Toei, they obviously refused.... Then, Torishima aparently said "Are you sure you want to say that to me? I could halt all the secondary rights for Dragon Ball." He also threatened TV Asahi, saying that they would pull the plug in popular adaptations of Shueisha series of that time, like Jigoku Sensei Nube.... And aparently that's how Yu-Gi-Oh Duel Monsters was born!

Torishima is known for being a little dramatic, so maybe this could be slightly exagerated? But i imagine it's probably a little true at least, and if so, this explains a lot how a second adaptation happened so soon, and also why Season 0 is in such a weird legal limbo....

It was also nice to get official confirmation that Season 0 got cancelled? I don't find a lot of interviews even talking about it, but here, Kataoka speculates that they started adapting it too soon, as it only got really popular with readers on Duelist Kingdom

There's some other cool things in that interview, like Kazuki Takahashi initially having rather negative opinions on Yugi's VA on Duel Monsters, and other things not related to Yugioh, but this is what i have for today!

[moasenra]

smile...💔

[moasenra]

cat

hi, i'm moasenra and this is my first satosugu dojinshi.

[duelofai]

They both first looked at him and thought to themselves, “he was made for me fr” but for entirely different reasons.

[emberphoenixisgoingtolivee]

phrases of international online friends

"what do YOU guys call it"

"isn't it [insert time here] over there????"

"GO THE FUCK TO BED"

"good morning" (it's 6pm in your timezone)

"do you have/say [thing] over there"

"how's the weather over there?" (probably better than yours)

[warmfigure]

i am massively overdue for a very very good week where not a single bad thing happens and everything is easy

[unlettered-heathen]

reblog to give prev a very good week where not a single bad thing happens and everything is easy

[caffeinatedopossum]

Me when I remember something I said ages ago that was wrong or my values no longer align with

[dinosaws]

My SatoSugu Fics

Allow me, to the tips of your fingers and the ends of your feet

Explicit | 7 chapters | 46,597 words | Complete

Are you Chicken Me Out?

Explicit | series | 68,984 words | Complete

Oh, Karaage My Girl Likes Hot Chicken For You, Chicken Teriyaki Bang Bang Chicken, There Goes My Heart

But the Darkest Pit in Me

Multi-rated | series | 1,609 words | Not Complete

I'm what's left of when we swam under the moon They'll never know how I'd stared at the dark in that room Just as two laurels often have one root

Can I hide there too? Hide in the hair of him

Multi-rated | series | 146,123 words | Not Complete

I want your things in my room History of Touches We Swallow Little Lights Fortuna: Redux

i will wade out till my thighs are steeped in burning flowers

Explicit | series | 18,084 words | Not Complete

Cute, Kawaii, Hentaii Boobies, That Excites Me Let Me Suck on the Stems of Flowers You're My Baby, Say it to Me

I'm a fountain of blood, You're the bird on the brim

Explicit | 20 chapters | 130,170 words | Complete

Stay Gold

Explicit | 6 chapters | 60,230 words | Complete

[dinosaws]

I've been thinking, I feel like the original Japanese lyrics of Chikai by Hikaru Utada make me think of Suguru's perspective in the second half of "I'm a fountain of blood, You're the bird on the brim" and Don't Think Twice kind of makes me think of Satoru's perspective. I dunno, what do you think?

Yes, yes, yes. Yes!

Most of my fics (and chapters) are titled after song lyrics. The two biggest artist inspirations for me when writing my fics are Björk and Utada Hikaru.

Not only the lyrics of these artists' songs, but also the soundscapes of the songs fit Satoru and Suguru so well for me. It probably also helps that I first discovered these artists and listened to them a lot in the early to mid 2000s. Satoru, Suguru, and I share the same generation/age, so I personally understand what it was like being a teen/young adult during the same time they were teens/young adults.

If you've read my fic, Stay Gold, you'll see how every title is from a Hiki song. It's funny, so many people think I'm referencing, "Stay Gold, Ponyboy," from the Outsiders. I am not. The title is a reference to Hiki's song, "Stay Gold:"

English translation here:

Because I love you so much You don't have to worry about anything My darling, stay gold Please laugh innocently forever… The young boy hidden deep within your eyes Continues to entice my instincts Aah somehow, let it continue, good luck There will most likely continue to be Sad things ahead of us My darling, stay gold Because even getting hurt is important

Like...? I'm sorry, is that not perfectly Satoru's POV of Suguru? I linked a live version above. Please listen to it. It's gorgeous. Doesn't it just sound like Satoru and Suguru are outside in the Spring, the wind is blowing, just a faint coolness, but the sun is bright and warm, their arms leaning on a railing, and Satoru is looking discreetly at Suguru out of the corner of his eye? Suguru is looking off into the distance, his bangs moving in the wind, a faint smile on his lips, but it's tinged with a little sadness, both of them holding water bottles from the vending machine that are wet with condensation dripping down. And Satoru just thinks of being beside Suguru forever. And he aches because he wants to take that sadness away from Suguru?

THIS IS WHY I USE THESE SONGS.

Okay, but back to your actual question!

Yes! I used "Don't Think Twice" as the title for chapter 5 of Stay Gold actually. Because it is a great song for Satoru's POV imo. And that entire fic was of Satoru understanding that he loves Suguru, and that he must actively do something about it in order for it to thrive. Love alone is not enough. You can have the feeling of love for someone always and forever, and you still need to actively choose to love them. The verb.

When I write Satoru, which I find quite difficult!, I always like to write his feelings for Suguru as just there. He doesn't think about them/through them in the way that I write Suguru with his own feelings. Just like how our blood pumps through our veins and we don't need to do anything or think about it, Satoru loves Suguru. It just exists within him. And sometimes, when he's a teen, I'll even write that he doesn't consciously understand that he loves Suguru. Because it's constant and it exists within him without need for him to do anything about it.

But that's just his internal feelings. It doesn't impact his relationship with Suguru if he doesn't do anything about it. And, unfortunately, this means that Satoru is complacent and takes for granted the idea that Suguru is beside him. He doesn't even consider that Suguru could go anywhere. Until it's too late. This is actually a broader aspect of Satoru's character for me that I might write an analysis about. His arrogance due to his strength in the way that he often doesn't see that he's taking something for granted because things are so easy for him.

But, in chapter 5 of Stay Gold, they've graduated, they've grown up, and Satoru has matured. He understands now that he has to actively love Suguru for Suguru to feel loved. The exact same thing is true for Satoru in I'm a fountain of blood, You're the bird on the brim. Suguru has returned to him, and Satoru is going to ensure that Suguru stays with him this time. And further, that Suguru will be in his arms, not just beside him.

Lyrics for "Don't Think Twice:"

How did I live in a kingdom of thieves And people who say things they don't really mean, really mean You're only everything I ever dreamed Ever dreamed of, ever dreamed of You must be kidding me Did you really think I could say no? I want you for a lifetime So if you're gonna think twice Baby, I don't wanna know Baby, I don't wanna know Everything is just right But if you're gonna think twice Baby, I don't wanna know Baby, I don't wanna know I really don't get what everyone else believes So why do I say things I don't really mean, really mean I'm only crying 'cause I never dreamed It'd take this long Don't think twice Baby, don't think twice If you wanna take it to an even higher level All you gotta do is say the word, you know I'll follow If you wanna take it to an even higher level I don't, I don't mind If you wanna make it happen, nothing's impossible All you gotta do is say the word and walls will crumble If you wanna make it happen, nothing's impossible Kiss me once Kiss me twice Kiss me three times Cross the line Don't think twice Baby, don't think twice Kiss me once (If you wanna take it to an even higher level) Kiss me twice (All you gotta do is say the word, you know I'll follow) Kiss me three times (If you wanna take it to an even higher level) Cross the line Kiss me once (If you wanna make it happen, nothing's impossible) Kiss me twice (All you gotta do is say the word and walls will crumble) Kiss me three times (If you wanna make it happen, nothing's impossible) Be mine (I don't, I don't mind) Don't think twice Baby, don't think twice

I really love this,

"You must be kidding me Did you really think I could say no?"

for I'm a fountain because Suguru truly doubts and hesitates for so long. He isn't sure of Satoru's feelings for him, but Satoru has never had any hesitation or doubt. And he's holding his hand out, desperate for Suguru to finally take it.

And this?

"I'm only crying 'cause I never dreamed It'd take this long"

Please. I'm not crying, you're crying. Satoru was horrifically shocked by Suguru's defection. Not because he killed a village, not because he killed his parents, and not because he left the school. Yes, obviously those things shocked him and confused him because, to him, that's not Suguru. That's not the kind of person Suguru is, so it doesn't make sense for him to do. He can't even come up with an argument as to what would make Suguru do that. But he's not shocked morally. He's not thinking, "Suguru is evil and has done an evil thing!"

He's shocked that Suguru isn't standing by his side anymore. In Satoru's mind, such a thing was impossible to ever happen. The Suguru he knows wouldn't kill non-sorcerers, wouldn't kill his parents, and wouldn't leave school. So the shocking part is that the Suguru who is always supposed to be beside him, the Suguru that he always knows and understands, isn't there anymore. Truthfully, never actually existed.

And that is what I meant earlier by Satoru's arrogance. That he believed that Suguru would always be beside him. That he believed he would always know and understand Suguru. But that's not real. That's not what it means to be human. And Satoru, if he wants Suguru beside him, and wants to know and understand Suguru, has to actively work to do that/have that. Because humans are constantly in motion. Life is constantly in motion. Nothing just stays and never changes.

But once Suguru defected, it was a mountain for Satoru to climb to have Suguru again. And, as you know from the shower scene in chapter 11, Satoru cries once he reaches the summit.

Now, what I love so much about your ask, is that "Don't Think Twice" and "Chikai" are actually the same song. "Don't Think Twice" is the English version and "Chikai" the Japanese version. So the lyrics are completely different, but the instrumentation is the same. Which is SO PERFECT for Satoru and Suguru!

So they are sharing an experience together, getting back in each other's orbits, relearning familiar parts of each other and learning the new bits, but their thoughts are different because they are coming from different POVs.

SO SO SO good!

English translation for Chikai:

I don't know about fate But I've got no choice But to accept its existence now Am I really good enough like this? Hey, am I good enough? I don't want you to get my hopes up too much

This very day's without lies and falsehoods It's an ideal day for an eternal oath I don't need pretty flowers or witnesses Let's wear rings with the same colors I can't help but be annoyed It's so lame, but I wanna sleep Clinging to you every day I won't make promises any more Those are for making others happy What I say now isn't second-hand It's not a promise, but an oath I can't return to when I was a liar Let's go with rings with colors of the morning sun Let's dance, our heartbeats becoming one Let's celebrate being alive in this moment At times I can't hold back my tears But there's no deep meaning or anything special in them It's just that suddenly I recall the past (aah, I wanna cry) Light flows in from the opened door I want to stay by your side forever after this too There's been no other choice for me since long ago This very day's without past or precedence It's an ideal day for our oath I don't need pretty flowers or witnesses Let's wear rings with the same colors Kiss me once, kiss me twice Just once isn't enough Kiss me once, kiss me twice Please give me you Kiss me once, kiss me twice Kiss me three times Please Kiss me once, kiss me twice Please give me you Let's listen to the sound of the rising sun, shoulder-to-shoulder Let's make an oath to live together

As I briefly mentioned above, I write Suguru's POV of his love for Satoru very differently than I write Satoru's. For me, Suguru is an overthinking. An anxious thinker. He is thinking through his feelings for Satoru in detail. He is thinking through what's possible and what isn't possible, what he can do with Satoru, and how he can stay close to Satoru. I believe that in second year, before the Star Plasma Vessel, he'd slipped a little into Satoru's hubris and was letting himself believe that he didn't have to think about it. The softly proud and unquestioning way Suguru smiles when he tells Amanai that he and Satoru are the strongest gives me that impression.

After a full year by Satoru's side, getting comfortable at school, feeling the euphoria of being the strongest with Satoru, Suguru was buying into Satoru's belief that they could just exist like that forever without much thought. But Toji's gunshot ripped right through that delusion. And Suguru plummets after that. It's a slow plummet as it takes a full year, but he never stops falling after that gunshot.

In the beginning of I'm a fountain, Suguru is set in his belief that he will start his war and Satoru will fight against him. He's also set in the belief that Satoru has no desire for him on any level. Friendship or otherwise. He believes he burned that bridge completely. So when Satoru comes to his church, kisses him, touches him, keeps showing up, asks to keep meeting, Suguru is genuinely confused. He doesn't understand Satoru's motive for it, but he feels that he, himself, is too desperate and greedy to say no.

By the halfway point of the fic,

"But I've got no choice But to accept its existence now"

Suguru is starting to see it all differently now. He has no choice but to start to believe and accept Satoru's love for him. How can he disregard all of the evidence in front of him? But he's still scared. There was only one brief moment in the beginning of second year when he truly believed in the possibility of forever with Satoru. And that was immediately and violently dispelled in front of him.

"Am I really good enough like this? Hey, am I good enough? I don't want you to get my hopes up too much"

He's an anxious thinker, so, of course, there's the thought, what if I'm just seeing what I want to see? Especially after everything, how could Satoru truly want this? Want me?

Because I believe Suguru thought he destroyed any future of his relationship with Satoru that day on the sidewalk in Shinjuku. We know why Satoru was looking for Suguru after the village massacre. To talk to him. To understand. To get an explanation. To correct it and bring Suguru back.

But why did Suguru choose to see Satoru one last time?

He'd already fled and had Nanako and Mimiko with him safely. There was no reason for him to meet Satoru again. In fact, it was safer not to. What if Satoru did what he was "supposed" to do by jujutsu law and killed Suguru right then and there? So why did Suguru meet with him?

I think it was to cut the cord that bound them together. Suguru needed Satoru to know that Suguru was leaving and he wasn't coming back. He was choosing that. So Satoru wouldn't ever think there was a future where they would still be standing side by side. So...if Suguru believes he accomplished that, wouldn't it make sense that he worries now, all these years later about it? To him, he's holding the end of a cord that used to be connected to Satoru, and it's been severed by his own hand.

He doesn't initially understand that Satoru never let that cord be cut back then. It takes two to sever a bond. Satoru has always still let himself be bound to Suguru.

Thankfully, he eventually comes to understand it.

"Let's listen to the sound of the rising sun, shoulder-to-shoulder Let's make an oath to live together"

[piercemybluesky]

asphyxiation

[capriceloon]

面白いよ～～～遊作とエマちゃんが好きです

[hansfallada]

ah. a nuanced story that allows for imperfect victims and portrays the confusing and contradictory nature of being human – particularly in a context that explores abuse, harassment and trauma. i wonder what people on the internet make of it... oh. oh no. oh no no no no no

[dinosaws]

Cute, Kawaii, Hentai Boobies, That Excites Me

“What do you think about boobs?”

Suguru's leg twitches against his, and he lowers his can of Sprite from his lips. His head turns sharply so he can look directly at Satoru. Satoru had already been staring at the side of Suguru’s face, watching the way his bangs tickled his cheek in the breeze, watching his slow, cat-like blinks, watching the long line of his neck as he drank his soda, watching him lick his lips after each swallow. Their eyes meet.

Suguru's eyes narrow. “What do I think?”

Satoru nods. “About boobs.” His own can of soda is sitting next to his hip on the bench, empty. His hands are gripping his knees, holding tight over the fabric of his uniform pants. His palms are sweating. He can feel the prickle of it in his skin and the dampness through his pants. He peers over his glasses, looking right into Suguru's eyes.

“I think…they're boobs…” Suguru says haltingly, starting to frown.

Satoru wrinkles his nose slightly.

“C’mon, Suguru. There are small boobs, large boobs, round boobs, teardrop shaped boobs, hanging boobs, boobs with pink nip—”

“Okay.” Suguru's nostrils flare the way they always do when he finds Satoru to be ridiculous. At least, that's what Satoru thinks. He's never actually asked Suguru what he's feeling when his nostrils start to twitch. He’s worried that if he asks, Suguru will stop doing it.

Suguru looks away from him now, looking down at his soda in his lap, and he fiddles with the can’s tab.

“Don't you think…that's pretty personal?” Suguru asks carefully.

“Everyone has boobs, Suguru,” Satoru points out. He barely blinks, watching the furrow of Suguru’s brow fade as his frown unfurls bit by bit.

Those words seem to relax something in Suguru, and he smiles, lifting his head to look back at Satoru again.

“Yeah? Everyone?” The sunlight catches in the violet of Suguru’s gaze.

Satoru nods, rubbing his palms against his knees for a moment. Then he reaches out and grabs a handful of Suguru's pecs over his jacket, giving a light squeeze.

“Yeah. You've got big boobs and brown nipples.”

Suguru laughs, and Satoru can feel it under his hand, deep in Suguru’s chest. At least he can until Suguru stands up, moving out from under Satoru's touch.

“Alright. Let's head back to campus, Mr. Pink Nipples,” Suguru says.

Satoru jumps up, flinging his empty soda into the trash can without looking, and throws his arm over Suguru's shoulders.

“You been looking?” Satoru grins, a quivering warmth in his belly. He adjusts his shades, pushing them higher up on the bridge of his nose with his knuckles. He always wishes he could ask Suguru to touch that quiver inside of him. He imagines it'd feel really nice. He only ever feels it around Suguru after all. He just doesn't know how to reach it since he’s not sure where it comes from.

Suguru's smile is easy as they walk. His shoulders broad under Satoru's arm. His body warm and solid against Satoru’s side.

“Everyone has eyes, Satoru.”

“And yours have been looking at my nipples?” Satoru pushes.

Suguru grabs him suddenly, throwing his arms around his waist and yanking him down and sideways. They grapple, turning in toward each other to try to grab the other in a headlock. But Suguru always seems to best him when it comes to wrestling. He manages to get Satoru in front of him, twisted sideways, with Satoru’s lower back pressed to his belly. Satoru’s left hand smacks at the outside of Suguru’s thigh while his right reaches up and back to scrabble at his shoulder. He can hear Suguru laugh behind him, breathy and hot in the afternoon heat. Satoru squirms, feet starting to lift off the ground as Suguru leans back and pulls him.

He wonders if he could convince Suguru to slide his hand up from his waist. To reach up and touch his chest instead.

That brief thought is all it takes for Suguru to finish him off. He picks Satoru up completely, carrying him bodily like he’s a toddler who’s throwing a temper tantrum and needs to be carried out of the park. Satoru laughs too, his glasses jostling on his face.

“You should not be able to pick me up this easily!” Satoru howls. “I’m bigger than you!”

Suguru grunts as Satoru tries to jerk himself free.

“Yeah? Maybe it’s because I’ve got bigger boobs than you, Satoru,” Suguru pants.

Satoru sucks in a sharp breath, his dick surging to sudden attention in his pants. He tenses, eyes wide with shock. But before he can even consider what to do about his sudden boner, Suguru yanks him upright and shoves him to his feet, releasing him. Satoru stumbles on the ground, disoriented, heart pounding, mouth dry like he swallowed cotton, and glances…

Suguru is bowing politely to an elderly couple. They’re walking along the path in the park, and Suguru and Satoru have just been blocking the way as they wrestled. The old woman is smiling faintly, but the old man is staring at them as if he’s never been so scandalized in his life. Satoru opens his mouth to snark, foolishly about to ask the geezer, What? You’ve never popped a chub for your bro before?

But, thankfully, Suguru viciously elbows him in the side, and they both scuttle out of the way, so the couple can pass. Satoru’s dick starts to flag in the face of his realization that he almost gave himself away. He would've admitted to getting hard for Suguru in front of Suguru if Suguru hadn’t stopped him. He eyes Suguru, and Suguru blinks at him, reaching up a hand to flick Satoru in the middle of his forehead.

“Yeah, I could tell you were about to say something stupid,” Suguru says, starting to walk towards the park’s exit again. “You always get this particular look on your face, Satoru. I’ve seen it for the past 4 years, so I know what it means.”

Satoru gapes and chases after him, rubbing at the spot where Suguru flicked.

“What look?” he demands.

Suguru raises his brows and starts to tick each thing he says off on his fingers.

“You frown quite intensely. I can see the way your eyebrows bunch together right over the bridge of your glasses. Then your mouth gets all pinched. And then your lips poke out a little. Kind of like you just ate a Shigekix.”

“Heh! As if I would even make a face when eating sour candy! I’ve got a cast-iron mouth, Suguru.”

Suguru abruptly looks at him. Satoru stares back. They both start to grin and take off running towards the exit of the park so they can find a convenience store and buy the candy.

“We have to get the Level 5 ones! Those are the most sour.”

“Oh, so you definitely want to lose?”

“I bet I can stick five Level 5’s in my mouth at the same time!”

“I bet you can’t even handle two.”

Continue reading the fic:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/87003456

[duelofai]

Ranting about jjk fandom stuff again

I don’t really understand the insistence I’ve seen around that Geto’s kindness was always kind of fake/performative and Gojo displayed true kindness/care to people despite how he acted as a kid and that’s why they went down the paths they did. First  of all, it doesn’t feel backed up by the text other than a surface level look of “well, Geto becomes a villain and Gojo becomes a teacher”. But like idk, isn’t that such a boring way to look at things? “Oh, this character was actually just kind of naturally inclined towards evil and this character was just kind of naturally inclined towards good”. 

I guess it’s true in some stories where one person chooses a “good” path and one chooses a “bad” one but JJK is a story of very gray morality, which Gege said he wanted to achieve. Like I’m pretty sure the only 100% evil character is Mahito and even that’s literally just bc he’s a creature made of the worst of humanity so even then, his evil is meant to reflect what humanity itself is capable of.

Like, I don’t think Gojo being generally more inclined to selfishness and Geto being generally more inclined to selflessness is just bc “they were born like that it” either, but makes sense when you look at the implications of how they were raised. I know JJK itself is a bit of a “show don’t tell” and “put the bare minimum details necessary to make things make sense” kind of story but with that and Word of God, I think you can get a pretty good understanding of the intentions behind the characters.

Gojo, for instance, grew up spoiled and revered as the strongest for his abilities. But he didn’t have any friends or people who really understood him, so he was lonely. So all he had was his strength and abilities, which is why he loves jujutsu so much. So it makes sense he wouldn’t have as much knowledge or understanding of others and maybe not be as naturally empathetic. And tbh, the clans kind of suck and Gojo was raised as someone at the top of the totem pole. I think it makes sense he may be more naturally inclined to care about his own feelings first based on those experiences.

We have less details on Geto and I think some people assume his childhood must’ve been great in comparison to Gojo bc he was raised outside of the jujutsu society. But I think it’s pretty clear that there’s drawbacks to living outside of jujutsu society with the powers he had. His powers would’ve been more of a curse to him rather than a gift the way Gojo’s was viewed because he didn’t grow up around people who could see curses, so I imagine he felt very isolated from others. Even if he had parents that actually tried to support him unlike Gojo’s, they would simply never be able to understand him and I imagine that’s why he seemed to become the kind of person who always tried to put on a smile regardless of how he actually felt. He had to get used to pretending things were fine so his parents wouldn’t worry and others wouldn’t think he was insane when he saw curses throughout his life. 

And not only that, but his power was the kind of thing that made him inherently feel like shit, which would be even more of a struggle without understanding why he had it. It’s likely why he was so obsessed with “meaning” and using his powers for the sake of helping others: he felt like he had to justify why he had something that made him miserable. If the reason he has these powers is to help others, then there’s a reason for him to exist as he is and a reason for him to continue living even if he can’t find a reason to be happy.

I suppose you could argue there’s a selfishness on that as well, but I think it’s a pretty human selfishness. And I don’t think that necessarily contradicts the fact that he cares about others as well. He wouldn’t be so affected by watching other’s suffer if that was the case. I think he learned to accept his own suffering as long as others could benefit from it.

 I think they both bonded over their shared loneliness that developed over living with being “strong” but it still affected them both in different ways. I think that’s why Geto’s defection and the differences between them aren’t really a clash of morals, but a lack of understanding based on the parts where they differ. The biggest difference between them, shown right from the beginning of the arc, is the contrast between how Gojo doesn’t care about meaning or purpose and just does what he wants while Geto is obsessed with it to the point it drives him insane. Their mindsets are both flawed in their own ways.

And overall just from their behaviour, I wouldn’t say it comes off like Gojo is “naturally kind” or w/e and Geto isn’t. Gojo does try to help give Riko more time before the merger, but even then, he only seems to start noticing when Geto points it out when they’re at her school. Gojo originally just said they should take her straight there. He did seem to at least recognize that she shouldn’t be forced into it if she didn’t want to, but it’s kind of difficult to tell who even brought the subject up first and he still seemed to accept she was fine with going through with it at the end. I don’t think he doesn’t care abt her or anything, but I don’t know if he would’ve asked again to make sure she wanted to do it the way Geto did if he had been the one to take her.

Meanwhile, Geto is shown noticing things about others a lot just from observing them. He asks again to make sure Riko really wants to go through with the ritual, as I said, but he’s also shown noticing Gojo hasn’t dropped his technique the whole time and is tired, and picks up on that Kuroi is Riko’s only family.

I think this is meant to show that Geto is generally more empathetic than Gojo. Which isn’t a bad thing! It just shows they have different strengths and weaknesses. Like when Geto gets in his own head when he messes up and Gojo is the one who’s able to stop and think logically and make a new plan on the fly. And even then, Geto’s strengths also kind of end up being his downfall when he can’t handle watching his comrades suffer and feels he has to do something about it, even if his solution isn’t great. Even his hate for non-sorcerers is specifically tied to their treatment of and how they affect sorcerers.

Idk, I could go on, especially about how these traits manifest when they’re adults, the ways they change and the ways they don’t. But I think Gojo and Geto are kind of supposed to have some traits that go against what you’d expect from a “hero” and a “villain”. Obviously Gojo still does more good things at the end of the day and Geto still does more bad. But it helps to add depth to their characters and is what I really like about them.