Hastur, Duke of Hell

I do weird things with other people's tongues. Like swallow them.

[duke-hastur]

avocado.

🥑

avacadon't.

[duke-hastur]

friendly reminder that a peacock made you cry a two months agoooo

LIES

[anticmiscellaney]

We lurk late.

[andagon]

Goood Evening Hell

The (in)famous demon disco scene with music!

Hastur, Ligur, Crowley - go go go

@thedemon-crowley @duke-hastur @ligur-duke-of-hell

[ligur-duke-of-hell]

Even crazier what happened afterwards. But that was before me and @duke-hastur decided to close our relationship.

Too bad @thedemon-crowley turned out to be a traitor. He could do weird things with his tongue.

[duke-hastur]

We have @furfurs-fotos for that now.

[viralfrog]

[huffy-1337]

THAT WAS THE BEST SONG CHOICE FOR THIS VID

[evengirlierballs]

I thought I dreamt this video

[andagon]

A song for @the-demon-team You know for whom.

[furfurs-fotos]

Is this because I'm short?

[duke-hastur]

Tough luck. We can't all be tall kings (like me)

[duke-hastur]

Tall king tall king tall king tall king

Bow down to your king.

[duke-hastur]

The grandmother stuck a fish to her forehead to prove a point about ducttape. I think she's high.

Why would she stick a fish to her forehead to prove a point about duct tape? Shouldn't it have been a duck?

[ligur-duke-of-hell]

I licked Hastur. He liked it.

@duke-hastur I thought we agreed not to cheat on each other anymore!!!

[duke-hastur]

It wasn't me.

[duke-hastur]

My grandma can also be an asshole. Once before she didn't give me an Easter egg. That's very much dickhead behaviour.

Also, I don't think she's a mermaid. She stuck a fish to her forehead before.

Why did you grandmother stick a fish to her forehead?

[neil-gaiman]

How did Hastur know the receptionist's name? (I believe she was named Lisa?)

He’s a demon. They know stuff. 

He knows who you are.

[andagon]

@duke-hastur do you?

[duke-hastur]

I know who Neil Gaiman is. I helped capture him so he could type for us.

[duke-hastur]

Any words of what I saw today, duke hastur? (Ik it’s like 4 am I’m sorry Mr froggy :(. )

Cinderella's alright but where's Tiana?

[neil-gaiman]

whats "Furfur" short for

He just didn't grow as tall as the other demons.

[helphowdoiusethis]

@the-demon-team

[duke-hastur]

Should I let Furfur borrow my platform shoes?

Yes

No

Voting ended onApr 29, 2024

[ligur-duke-of-hell]

Zzzzz zzzz zzzzz zzzz

Yeah, boss? @lower-management

[lower-management]

Not me. Juzt- ya know the giant fly that followz me? Now it'z going around and "bugging" otherz. Can't zeem to catch it.

[pissylittlebirdboy]

haha pun

…ok yeah I’ll leave now

[ligur-duke-of-hell]

What's a pun?

[pissylittlebirdboy]

similar to a play on words, like if you put one word into another because they sound similar or if someone is something and that something does something that is used in a noun

‘incog-neatto’ used in a scenario where it is good that someone was able to go undercover; neatto being a slang term, combined with incognito

‘bugging’ - the fly is an actual bug and it’s irritating people, thus haha funny

[duke-hastur]

So puns are like jokes, then?

I don't like jokes.

[pissylittlebirdboy]

you’re a bland motherfucker with a crusty shih tzu lookin haircut who thinks porridge and saltine crackers are spicy then, you spineless secretion of a senile slug

[duke-hastur]

[ligur-duke-of-hell]

Zzzzz zzzz zzzzz zzzz

Yeah, boss? @lower-management

[lower-management]

Not me. Juzt- ya know the giant fly that followz me? Now it'z going around and "bugging" otherz. Can't zeem to catch it.

[pissylittlebirdboy]

haha pun

…ok yeah I’ll leave now

[ligur-duke-of-hell]

What's a pun?

[pissylittlebirdboy]

similar to a play on words, like if you put one word into another because they sound similar or if someone is something and that something does something that is used in a noun

‘incog-neatto’ used in a scenario where it is good that someone was able to go undercover; neatto being a slang term, combined with incognito

‘bugging’ - the fly is an actual bug and it’s irritating people, thus haha funny

[duke-hastur]

So puns are like jokes, then?

I don't like jokes.

[duke-hastur]

My grandma wanted me to submit her form for being a demon. She makes mean muffins. The pastore deserved it.

Is your grandmother a mermaid?

Not good--I mean not bad--I mean we don't want people who are pleasant to people. This is Hell. We want rude and nasty arseholes.

[duke-hastur]

What sort of shenanigans have you been up to?

A little bit of this.

A little bit of that.

[duke-hastur]

What do you mean your only tall because of your boots? Even with out them your still taller then Crowley. You are over 6 foot sir.

That's right. So take that @thedemon-crowley. I'm taller than you.

[thedemon-crowley]

Oh, how ever will I cope knowing that the great Duke Hastur is taller than me?

Get a grip.

[duke-hastur]

I'll get a grip around your neck.