My Fanfiction Place

My fanfiction dumping ground 18+ only please! Requests are PERMANENTLY closed

[dumbassunderthemountain]

This blog is mostly inactive now, though I do occasionally get the Tolkien brain worm. I still wanted my fics to be findable, though.

For new fics and anime fandoms, I also write on @nico-robin-cowboy-hat-simp

Masterlist

The Hobbit/ Lord of the Rings

BBC Robin Hood

Pilgrimage (2017)

North and South

Castlevania

Past Writing Events

[ooppo]

Your heart is not true enough to enter the gates of Margaritaville

[kaiyves-backup]

[dumbassunderthemountain]

Fairy Tale Wedding (Thorin x Reader)

Armitage Summer Splash Prompt: Picture Above, “We have all the time in the world”

Summary: Coronation and wedding to Thorin

A/N: I feel that I should warn you that as of today I am taking a Medieval England history class over summer quarter so…prepare yourselves for that (not some much with Thorin but others) summer quarter is also really intense bc its the full course in half the time (and i have 3 classes) so these are probably gonna be short fluffy sweet escapism

Warnings: hella fluffy

Word Count: 1242

You stared at yourself in the mirror, seeing the ornate deep blue dress representing the Durin family color with white fur cape representing your world’s white dress tradition. Dis stood behind you styling your hair, leaving strands on each side of your face free for the upcoming wedding braid and Durin family braid, along with making sure the top of your head was prepared for the crown that would sit there. 

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[dumbassunderthemountain]

Rickety Shack (Thorin x Reader)

Armitage Summer Splash Prompt: “As long as you’re here.”

Summary: little snip bit of of life, moving from Ered Luin into the world of men to make more money for the refugees of Erebor

A/N: The last word the dwarven scholar’s hella long dictionary (I never made it out of the a’s) says it’s about growing old together

Warnings: slight xenophobia, 

Word Count: 583

“I know it is not ideal.” Thorin’s voice rumbled through the rain as you rode your ponies into the village of men. 

Everything in the village was so tall compared to you and the people were so very rude. They aggressively pushed past your ponies, glared, you even heard one person muttering some rather unseemly things about your race. But you had to keep your head low. Not attract attention. You were here with your husband to make more money for your people in Ered Luin. Thorin was to become a swordsmith while you would work as a weaver. Both of you are selling your traditional dwarven trades to a race that could not care about the cultural significance behind them.

The little cottage that the two of you had purchased was the worst. You preferred living within the security of the mountains but life forced you to live in this rickety shack. The place was drafty from all the gaps in the wooden beams which were beginning to rot. Thick lines of black mold cutting through the wood. The stove was rusty and questionable, but the house was probably permanently damp enough to prevent a fire. 

How far you had fallen from the gold filled halls of Erebor. You shook the thought from your mind. It did no good to dwell on the past. The only way through life was forward. Your people were poverty stricken and hungry so you had to work here and live like this. Thorin had taught you long ago it is a leader’s responsibility to put the needs of the people above themselves, no matter the cost. He lived that philosophy every day of his life, and you had a feeling he would live it until he died. But that stubbornness to do what is right was one of the many reasons you loved him. 

Thorin sat down on the wooden bed platform with a “Hmph”. He looked around inspecting it much as you had inspected the stove. “We will have to use our own clothing and blankets to make a bed tonight.”

You shrugged. “We have made do with worse.”

Thorin sighed. “I know. But that does not mean I cannot wish for my wife to lie in a more comfortable bed.” 

You sat down beside him. “We will get there someday. Have hope. Perhaps we will not regain the glory and gold of Erebor, but we will build a good and prosperous life for our people. I swear it to Mahal.” You said earnestly. 

Thorin took your hand in his. “I know. But I meant supplying a good secure life for my wife where she can at least sleep somewhere safe from and comfortable.” 

You leaned forward. “Thorin, just as I told you when I confessed my love to you when we were exiled roaming Dunland before we even had the hope of settling in Khazad-dum. As long as you’re here it does not matter, the circumstance will be bearable, because I know you and I will pull through it. Our employment in the realm of men is no different. This too shall pass, and we will find ourselves back within the cozy walls of the mountains.”

Thorin smiled, touching his forehead to yours. “Always the optimist.” He teased. “But you are right. Together we will overcome this, just as we have overcome everything else in our lives, since the very beginning.” He pulled you closer, his nuzzling into you, whispering an old promise. “Naigmili.”

💚💚💚💚💚

@lathalea @fizzyxcustard

[dumbassunderthemountain]

Campfire Antics (Thorin x Reader)

Armitage Summer Splash Prompt: Picture Above & “I wish I could go back”

Summary: Sitting around the fire on the quest reminiscing for the old innocent days of youth

A/N: Another short fic bc I am v sore from moving but wanted to write something

Warnings: none

Word Count: 512

You sat leaning against a fallen tree watching Fili and Kili from across the fire. The two rambunctious boys were laughing and play wrestling trying to compete for Gandalf’s last piece of chocolate. The old wizard chuckled at the younglings’ antics. They tumbled and rolled into Ori, who did not appreciate the disturbance to his scribal duties. Ori let out a funny little squeak before jumping up and sitting beside the prickly looking Gloin. The entire incident created a great deal of laughter amongst those watching the fiasco, which only encouraged the boys. 

Thorin had just finished his nightly briefing, going over the day and planning the next with Dwalin. You could hear him stopping over to berate his nephews for the ruckus they were causing. Once he stood beside you ready to release his booming voice onto the company, you lightly kicked his foot. “Let them be.” Your husband skeptically glared down at you. “No is being hurt, let everyone destress. We are crossing a continent, exposed and surrounded by orcs.” 

Thorin sighed plopping down into the dirt beside you with a grunt. “You are right…as long as they do not grow any louder.” 

You leaned against him and Thorin wrapped his arm around your shoulder. “I wish I could go back to that.” You sighed longingly looking at the boys, who were beginning to calm down and arm wrestle for the chocolate, since their full wrestle had ended in a draw. 

Thorin hummed in agreement, “The energy would certainly be nice.”

“I was thinking of their child-like innocence and ability to relax and play in the midst of great stress. But yes, more energy would certainly be nice.”

“Do not forget the lack of aching bones.”

You groaned. “Mahal, what I would not give for a day without a sore back.”

Thorin’s laughter rumbled in his chest, before teasing whispering into your ear. “Would you like a message, amralime?”

You flushed, goosebumps spreading across your body. Even after all these years he could make you feel like a lovestruck dwarfling. “Not here!” You paused before whispering back to him. “Next time we have some alone time though, you owe me.”

Thorin’s low voice hummed in your ear, “I can agree to that.” He leaned in to kiss you, just as your lips began to touch, you were interrupted. 

A loud, long “EWWWW” Erupted from Kili from across the fire. Causing Dwalin to bark with laughter.

Thorin sighed, turning to his nephew. “You are not a pebble anymore Kili.”

“Perhaps even you will find your One soon.” You teased. 

“I am sure I will.” Kili responded with a proud grin.  

“It is only you two that are gross.” Fili responded with a large grin. 

“Lad makes a point.” Dwalin added. 

Thorin grabbed a nearby bowl jokingly throwing it at his best friend, who easily caught it. The entire company erupted into a hearty laughter at the antics of the king and his family. You leaned back against the log smiling at the light and companionship that could be found in darkness.

💚💚💚💚💚

@fizzyxcustard​ @lathalea

[dumbassunderthemountain]

Battle Wounds (Thorin x Reader)

Armitage Summer Splash Prompt: “I could stay like this forever”

Summary: After the Battle of the Five Armies recovering from your injuries together

A/N: This was originally connected to a series but I have no faith I’ll ever finish it so I adapted the main plot. But if it seems sorta like a randomly beat up a character I was just too lazy to un-adapt but war is also rough

Warnings: war, so many injuries

Word Count: 1061

You fought your way through the goblin mercenaries desperately trying to get to Thorin. Praying to Mahal that you were not too late. As you climbed over the rocks you saw him standing alone on the ice. You let out a sigh of relief. He was okay! You did not know what you would do without him. He had been your best friend for years, and your one. Not that you’d ever told him that. 

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[dumbassunderthemountain]

A Rather Lovely View (Thorin x Reader)

Armitage Summer Splash Prompt: Only one bed & “I never knew it’d be like this”

Summary: While in Rivendell there were not quite enough beds for company in the little suite they gave the company. Not wanting to bother the elves and ask for another you decided to just share. 

Warnings: drinking

Word Count: 2032

Rivendell was the most beautiful place you had ever been. Everywhere you looked was filled with breathtaking views, grand architecture, and beautiful artwork. It was stunning and the elves were kind despite the dwarves’ constant grumbling. Every elf you saw was elegantly playing music or discussing high philosophy. It seemed like an excellent place to live. As a peasant however, your dirty brown clothes and crass uneducated behavior made you feel like a fish out of water. Having all the dwarves nearby helped immensely. Some like Balin and Thorin were raised to be proper and noble; you never felt lesser talking to them. The same could certainly not be said for the elves, they were kind yes, but also very full of themselves. You were starting to understand what Thorin had been grumbling about, especially after Bofur started his song.

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[dumbassunderthemountain]

I completely forgot writing this one, but damn, this was cute as hell

[m0rab3za]

You get injured

Includes: Thorin, Fili, Kili, Legolas Warnings: mention of injury (very vague) request for anonymous!

Thorin

Everything stops, and he's immediately taking it upon himself to fix it. Whether it's a blade wound or a sprained ankle, he's doing everything he can for you---and if it's life-threatening, as fast as he can. While his bedside manner is sub-par, he's focusing all his energy on keeping you alive. Comfort would come later when he knew you were okay. It's also the only time he's not so hesitant to be rougher with you, when necessary of course. A stab wound or gash? He's tearing off any clothing in his way, packing the injury full of kingsfoil with little regard for the way it might sting. Dislocation? He's popping it back in without hesitation or warning. When he's fighting against time, it's his top priority, and he sees no sense in prolonging your pain or risking any further injury. But rest assured, as soon as he's made sure you're physically okay, you'll hear him audibly exhale as his touch softens and his arms encircle you, hushing your cries and drying your tears.

Fili

When anything happens to you, his heart leaps to his throat and pounds in his chest with a whirlwind of emotions---mainly fear of losing you and guilt from not preventing it. His immediate response is to keep you right next to him where he has you in sight. He assures himself that as long as you're with him, nothing else can happen to you. As soon as there's a moment to get you out of harm's way, he's scooping you up in his arms and getting you somewhere he can have a look at you. If others are near, he's yelling orders to get you what you need. It's one of the few times you'll hear him actually raise his voice. He does his best to keep you calm and comfort you while he works, either packing the wound or tying a splint or stitching you up. Thorin will keep an eye on it all, but knows he taught Fili well when it comes to medical emergencies. And no matter how much he's panicking internally, Fili's exterior is steady and calm---soothing you with assured softness, firmly holding your hand, talking you through what he's doing. He knows that minimizing your distress is the best way to make sure it all goes smoothly, and it's one of the things he's best at.

Kili

He definitely freaks out a little (a lot). His first reaction is to eliminate whatever caused your injury. If it's an orc, it's dead on sight. If the injury was something more spontaneous like falling or breaking something, his hand switches at his bow anyway with the instinct to protect. As soon as he notices any sense of pain or distress from you, it's as though he feels it himself. He holds your hands while Thorin and Fili come to help, trying not to cry as he watches the way your eyes well with tears. He assures you over and over that he wishes he could take the pain on himself and away from you. When he knows you're okay again, he doesn't let you out of his sight for at least the next few days, his own mind hyperaware of every possible threat.

Legolas

It's one of the only times you'll actually see panic on his face. His eyes will widen and his face sort of drops, sharp eyes instantly assessing what went wrong. If it's serious, he delivers you to a healer before you can blink. His whole world stops until you're okay again. If it's something more minor, that initial spasm of his heart will settle as he decides what's best to do. He'll focus firstly on calming you down and reassuring you it will all be okay, that he'll take care of you. Then, he methodically does what needs to be done, talking you through every step and praising how well you're doing. After you're patched up, he subtly hints that perhaps you should stay inside for a while, suggesting some indoor activities that might prevent you from getting yourself hurt again.

[dumbassunderthemountain]

The Golden Abyss (Thorin x GN! Reader)

Armitage Summer Splash Prompt: “Did we make a mistake?”

Summary: Thorin’s spouse coming to terms with the fact that Thorin has dragon sickness. (movie plot, book timeline + Frerin)

A/N: Very excited to be participating in another writing challenge! I have a few busy days this month so I will not be able to post every day but I should be able to do most days.

Warnings: Dragon sickness, the burning of laketown, mention of family deaths, angst

Word Count: 1044

“What have we done?” Bilbo whispered, as the company filed out of the mountain to watch helplessly as Smaug killed those who’d given you aid the night before. This was the first time you’d ever truly asked yourself, ‘did we make a mistake?’ Coming here and awakening Smaug just so you could reclaim your homeland. You learned a long time ago that the land is not what makes a place a home. The dwarves had built a great life out of nothing in Ered Luin. It may not be as luxurious nor as historic as Erebor but for the past century that is where the dwarves of Erebor called home. At first it seemed like a fantastic idea. To regain all the glory and riches that had been so brutally torn from your people. Yet standing here in the pale moonlight and golden glow Smaug’s distant fire…you questioned whether or not it had been worth it. 

You turned hoping to seek some reassurance in your husband. He was always close at hand wherever you seemed to need it, like a sixth sense. However, Thorin was nowhere to be seen amongst the despaired company. Instead you found him staring back at Erebor, seemingly oblivious to the destruction of Lake-town. 

When you saw Smaug fall from the sky and the ravens return the entire company rejoiced. Except for Thorin who began to hurriedly walk back towards Erebor. You quickly followed trying to figure out what was wrong and hoping, praying that it was not…The dragon that ruined his life and kingdom was dead! Yet as far as you could tell this brought him no joy or relief. He had never been great at emotions though…

“Smaug is finally dead! Erebor is ours again!” You proclaimed wrapping your arm around his. 

Thorin did not stop walking as you’d expected, instead continued to drag you along. “Yes, now all others will look towards the mountain. Hoping to claim what is rightfully ours.” Thorin growled. 

“Well yes defenses will be needed but once the dwarven armies show up and we give the people of Lake-town what we owe them-”

“We will give them nothing!” His voice boomed, scaring away the ravens perched in the nearby ruins. He stopped walking, turning to face you as you startled away from him. You had always reacted badly to yelling. At first you thought he remembered this, planned to apologize, or at least explain himself. Instead he forcefully cupped your neck pulling you close, before saying in a low voice, “They have no right to take what we were forced to pledge. This gold is ours, ghivashel. I will not part with a single coin.”

Thorin let go and began to walk back to his precious treasure clearly expecting you to follow. But no matter how hard you tried you could not move, you just stared at your husband back. The distance between you did not feel like a few paces, but instead like he walked into a thick black abyss where you could not follow. 

It was so hard bringing yourself to think it. Your worst fear for this entire quest. Worse dying by starvation or dragon fire, worse than failing entirely…dragon sickness… The incurable madness that led his grandfather and the kingdom of Erebor to ruin 170 years ago…

You had always had such faith that he would not succumb. Not the dwarf that you fell in love with. Not the dwarf that lived in poverty and walked into the villages of men everyday for a century to work as a blacksmith then donate every last coin that he could to his people. So that they could have a good life outside of Erebor. The dwarf that risked his life in battle time and time again for his people even when he lost his grandfather, father, and brother in one day. The dwarf who embarked on a mad quest to reclaim a mountain from a dragon with only fourteen dwarves, a hobbit, and sometimes a wizard so that his people could have a better life. It did not make sense, it could not be. A dwarf like him could never fall victim to dragon sickness. He was the best person you’d ever met, stubborn, courageous, kind hearted, giving, loyal, loving. No this could not be. It is impossible. Thorin could never have dragon sickness, but…

Tears streamed down your face as you stood motionless staring after your husband who had long since disappeared into the cursed depths of his golden kingdom. You could not move until Dwalin placed his arm around you, guiding you back to the mountain. His words did not even register in your mind, but you could see in his eyes he had the same concern for his best friend. 

By the time you had gotten back to the Erebor you had managed to talk yourself out of it. Thorin was just stressed. How could your husband of nearly a century and a half possibly have dragon sickness?

When you entered Thorin screeched, “Where have you been?” Grabbing and yanking you away from Dwalin. The entire company froze, you had never been treated like that before. Looking into Thorin’s eyes you saw how much they had changed. Gone were the stormy blue eyes you loved gazing into. Now they were practically black, and something in you did not recognize him as he forcefully pulled you into his embrace. “My kiduzel” (gold of gold) He growled into your ear making every hair on your body stand on end, in fear of what was inevitably to come. Usually you would hear this as a term of endearment, but not with that look in his eyes. Right now you were as much a possession as the gold under your feet. “Stay beside me at all times. I cannot trust them with any of my treasure, especially you.”

You squeezed your eyes closed finally coming to terms with the truth…Your husband had dragon sickness and you were part of his guarded treasure. It took all your power to suppress the sob welling up inside you. The dwarf that held you now was not your husband. He was long gone, having disappeared into the deep golden abyss hours ago, without you even realizing. 

——

@fizzyxcustard​ @lathalea​

[murphfight]

none of these words are on tolkien gateway

[detectiveperspectives]

what was wulf on about when he said “I knew you’d be the end of me when we first met” or whatever. you met as children. you were like six. what do you mean you knew she would be your downfall. why were you thinking that. you were in middle earth kindergarten

[from-dark-dunharrow]

Wulf every time Targg gives him advice:

[jazzapples3]

Who would win? A horse girl vs a reddit incel

[human-for-tonight]

more movies should have a weird old hag

[theivorybilledwoodpecker]

What's unnerving about Wulf is that I don't think his father's death played as big a role in his actions as you would think.

He seems more focused on Héra and her rejection.

In LOTR universe, marriages are usually based on love. Yet when they initially talk after the proposal, Héra makes it clear she does not want to marry. And Wulf keeps pressing for her to do so.

He later kidnaps her and intentionally slashes a cut on her face as if to mark her.

When he offers and she says "If I marry you," he has a fit of rage over the word "if." He calls her arrogant...for her...considering not marrying him? Not falling into his arms?

When besieging the keep, even after Helm dies, he keeps going because he wants to make it Héra's tomb.

When she rides out in the bridal gown, he is furious that she would think he still wants her (as he mistakenly believes before she corrects him), but he still wants to fight her himself. He tells the soldiers to go on and that he'll deal with Héra himself.

Even at the end, when she tries to show him mercy by not killing him, he blames her for his fate and tries to kill her.

I'm not saying Wulf's father's death and the banishment helped, but I'm pretty sure Wulf is an incel on steroids. He wanted Héra, but when she rejected him, he decided he'd kill her and everyone else. Kind of, "If I can't have you, no one will."

[human-for-tonight]

if your dad (1) goads the king into challenging him to a fight, (2) accepts the king's challenge to fight, (3) insults the king's daughter that he's super protective of, and (4) hits the king first in the fight then I don't think you can be that mad when the king accidentally one punch kills your dad. that's kinda on your dad for getting into that situation and I think he might've had some underlying health issues that contributed to the single punch instantly killing him

[tanoraqui]

War of the Rohirrim was fucking great.