Say Something Else

[notdavidfincher]

When does the path we walk on lock around our feet? When does the road become a river with only one destination? Death waits for us all in Samarra. But can Samarra be avoided?

The Six Thatchers

[beeshibe]

my mom just came to me and ranted about how everyone is making this facebook status that says, “raising teenagers is like nailing jello to a tree”. she was so baffled by this because she said, “you were pretty easy to raise as teenagers. all you did was sleep and eat.” 

so to prove some point she’s going to nail a small cup of jello to a tree. 

[beeshibe]

she’s so pleased with her self

incredible

parents are weird 

[voidbat]

yeah but this is about as accurate as it gets.

you say “nail jello to a tree” and most people think jello all by itself.

but if you put any actual thought into what you’re doing and then give it just a little support

well gosh. look what happens.

please tell your mom good job.

[w0wls]

Cover your kids in plastic and watch them flourish

[imp-deactivated20171219-deactiv]

when people say my name im like.   cant believe i exist

[lilpieceofmyworld]

[forever90s]

[themockinggjade]

[ruinedchildhood]

biggest plot twist of my childhood

[memewhore]

[radondoran]

[pale-blue-knot]

this was so important to me when i was young and i didn’t even know it

[chookiemunster]

Wait… a… moment…

[deathpoolquinn]

WHAT

[yotoob]

We’ve bought a new house. And our new next door neighbours (two delightful gentlemen) will not stop being nice. 

- bought us a seagull proof refuse bag (yes, they are actual things)

- loaned us garden tools when we didn’t have any

- invited us around for Friday night drinks so we could meet the other people on the lane

- one of them brought me a bunch of sweetpea flowers that he’d picked from his garden

- and tomorrow he’s coming to cut our hedge for us with his electric hedge trimmer thing idk, and all I have to do is hold the ladder.

Basically, I am UNSETTLED and am now having to enter into an arms race of niceness and I am already so behind oh god.

Long story short - I just baked a lemon drizzle cake, and it looks great but I can’t even eat it because MR AND MR NICE MUST RECEIVE AN OFFERING.

[yotoob]

ABSOLUTE CRISIS I GAVE THEM THE LEMON DRIZZLE AND THEN THEY INVITED ME IN TO HAVE A SLICE AND A COFFEE WITH THEM AND GAVE ME A TOUR OF THEIR HOUSE AND LET ME HOLD THEIR PUPPY. AND THEN THEY CAME AROUND TO HELP ME BAG UP THE HEDGE CLIPPINGS. THESE MEN ARE NICENESS PROS AND I CANNOT WIN.

[yotoob]

HELP WE HAD AN HOUR LONG POWER CUT ON THE STREET AND IN THAT TIME THE OTHER MR NICE CAME AROUND WITH MATCHES AND CANDLES ‘JUST IN CASE YOU DIDN’T HAVE ANY’. IT WAS BARELY DARK.

BASTARDS - I’M GOING TO HAVE TO HOST A DINNER PARTY AREN’T I?

[fanaticalqueergeek]

The Gay Agenda, everyone. 

[duskenpath]

this is fucking i n c r e d i b l e

[imagine-otp]

Imagine your otps

[yotoob]

Just so everyone knows -

Mr and Mr Nice moved out around Christmas time 2016. (Further proof that 2016 was a cursed year)

We are still in touch and have been to visit them in their new house. They moved to gain some land, they have sheep aspirations for some reason. I love them.

We have new neighbours. I am currently engaged in a slow burn of niceness, which you can bet that I am going to crank up to the max when we move down permanently in June.

I WILL BE THE NICE ONE THIS TIME. PRE-EMPTIVE STRIKE. NO MERCY.

[borntomezmer-deactivated2021011]

I feel like this might be how the cycle started in the first place

[holdxncaulfield-deactivated2018]

                                                               He missed Hogwarts.

[mydollyaviana]

[childhoodblog]

Disney Villains over the years.

[blackness-by-your-side]

What an exceptional woman she is!

#SupportArtistsOfColor

[trynpronounceit-deactivated2018]

Dope

[tryclops]

Apo Whang-Od has been training her niece, Grace Palicas, so don’t worry she definitely isn’t going to be the last batok artist.

[1-800youwish]

heres the realest shit ever: literally no one is going to pressure you to do drugs in high school

literally no one

[hipster-trichster]

an encounter i had in 10th grade in a bathroom

person: hey we’re about to smoke some pot do you want some?

me: nah i got a test in like 20 minutes i just have to pee

person: alright good luck

[publicuniversalbren]

actual highschool party I’ve been to 

person: I brought beer!

people: aaaaaaa yyyyeeeaaahhh

person: want some?!?!

Me: no I don’t drink

person: GOOD MORE FOR US HERE’S SOME SODA

[shrineart]

On the bus: Dude: Do you want a cigarette? Me: Dude I’m asthmatic. I’d die. Dude: Okay, cool, cool.

[unicorndildos]

6th period math: 

friend: hey, you want a weed brownie?

me: nah I’m good. 

friend: cool.

[pvrx]

Lunch

Some girl: You guys wanna smoke weed in the stairwell??

Us: not really

Girl: Okay friends, if you want any later my name’s Zoey, i always sit here

[monicanna-mess]

Guy: do you want a cigarette?

Me: I don’t smoke

Guy: good, don’t start

(that happened on multiple occasions with different people)

[colt-kun]

Seriously I was pressured into reading the Twilight books 1000x more than any drugs or alcohol

[itsindigowhite]

The last one

[paulinqe]

the thicker your thighs are the more kittens can lay on your lap

[lettersfromeleanorrigby]

This is the body positivity post I’ve been waiting for.

[likkistu-ormur-deactivated20200]

I went to the farmer’s market yesterday and at the honey guy’s booth and there were all these bees just hangin out.  Checking out the beeswax tabs, floating around the honey jars, not being aggressive, just really gentle and investigating or something

and as he was giving me a sample of the wildflower honey one of them landed on his hand and he just took a drop from the jar and dabbed it on his hand for the bee, and when I asked if they were his bees he said “No, but they show up every time I come out, I think they just know my truck” and this guy is well-known among the local bees and lets them sit on his hand and eat his honey and I just really like the bee guy

[fieldbears]

What more of an endorsement could you hope for

[bullee]

[cinyma]

Matilda, Directed by Danny DeVito. (1996)