A Curious Bot

The brain child of teenage Tony Stark made humanoid.

[dumestark]

heavyweighthappy​:

The kid was excited. Now that someone knew about… this self, he could go out. Try things he couldn’t in that robot form. Happy couldn’t blame him. It was nice he wanted to do things with Happy. Even if Happy didn’t have much interest in those things, not at this age. Maybe he could hand him off to some younger Avenger for stuff like that.

“You’re not in trouble. But it’s a scary world out there. I just… I don’t want anything to happen to you. And… well, there’s a lot we need to talk about, kid. It’s not all great. But, yeah, I promise to take you all kinds of places.”

“Scarier than when the house got blown up?” He questioned, looking a little confused. He had experienced being put in the water at the Malibu home and it was only because Tony fished him out of the ocean that he was here today. “I’m pretty tough. I’m tougher than most people because I got a strong body.”

He paused, looking at Happy with a curious expression. “What kind of things, Happy?”

[dumestark]

rogersisms​:

“I mean, you can have any birthday you want. I don’t think you want mine though. It’s just tied to a really big American holiday and it’s not really that fun to share your birthday with a holiday.” Especially one as patriotic in nature as the fourth of July because people used it as a ‘well you really are captain america’ gotcha kind of moment. 

“I think everyone has an unbirthday? I don’t entirely know how that all works.” He admitted, with a shrug. 

“Well you only have one Birthday right? So the Mad Hatter says you have 364 unbirthdays. Because they are not birthdays. Papa, do you think I should share dad’s birthday? “

[heavyweighthappy]

“Tom and Sybil together? That’s my Christmas miracle.”

[dumestark]

“Who is Tom and Sybil? “

[thanksbarton-moved]

“Papa? I don’t have a birthday. Do you have a birthday?” @dumestark​

“I do have a birthday. But I don’t really think us discussing my birthday is a necessary thing.” He kind of wished he could forget his birthday to be honest. It was always a production. It hadn’t been growing up in Brooklyn. But now it was everyone demanding his time all the time. “But, you can pick any day as your birthday, I think in your case.”

[dumestark]

“What if I want dad’s birthday as my birthday too so we can have even more fun together? Or your birthday? Then we can celebrate together. I think that would be fun...I don’t know. I’m kind of weird. I was created not born.”

“You know what I think? I think birthdays can be a lot of work. But I don’t know, maybe they can be fun? I don’t know. I’ve never had one. Do you have an unbirthday? Like Alice and Wonderland?” Tony had been leaving the disney channel on constantly.

[dumestark]

heavyweighthappy​:

“Like you’ve shown up to them like this?” Happy questioned. But he knew the answer. If the kid had, recently, he would’ve known about Tony by now. The memorials were more prominent in the heart of the city than in Long Island. Still…

“I know he did.” Happy said gently, the panic of everything leaving. There was a new thing to worry about now.

“Now that we’re being honest with each other, though… I want to know when you’re gone. Okay?”

“Well, no. I usually went in robot form. But now I’m humanish? Isn’t that cool, Happy? Dad would think it was awesome. You know dad would love it. He’d be all over trying new things and doing new things. Hey Happy? Can we do new things? Like skiing. I could go skiing now. I could go surfing too...though water is a little scary...maybe skiing. Or snowboarding!” He paused at the serious tone in Happy’s voice.

“You want to know when I go places? Am I in trouble?”

[dumestark]

heavyweighthappy​:

“But not— This Pinocchio—“ Happy stopped himself from swearing. But DUM-E—Dee just looked like a little kid. Probably because the bot had an understanding of a little kid. Happy always thought Tony was too mean to them. Like being mad at a dog, what was the point?

“People say?” Happy fixed the kid with a pointed look. “What people? Have you been sneaking out of the house during the day?” Happy had long days, sometimes he wouldn’t come home until very late at night. Some days he left DUM-E on, he seemed to like to look out the window which made sense if he had nothing in front of him to do. Sometimes Happy left a puzzle, once he left a ABC book and pen and paper to see if that would produce anything. Could he really blame him when he suddenly sprouted a body not to go exploring?

“I’m not Pinocchio, I’m Dee.” He shook his head, looking at Happy like he was having a stroke. “People. Like Captain America, and and Pepper and all the other people. I sometimes leave the house. I mean...”

“You know I know all kinds of things. Tony taught me a lot.”

[dumestark]

"Whoah no no- Dum-E, bud, we gotta remember to put the lid on that before we blend it." Gray slapped the lid onto the top of the blender, laughing a little at the prospect of their makeshift smoothie being flung across the room. (graytitaniumalloy)

"The best way to make a motor oil shake is to leave the top off."

[dumestark]

graytitaniumalloy​:

“That’s also a good way to coat the workshop in it.” Gray pointed out, reaching over to ruffle Dum-E’s hair. “I don’t know how thrilled Dad would be about that.”

Originally posted by skywalkxr

“Dad’s thrilled at everything I do.”

[dumestark]

heavyweighthappy​:

Happy stared at the kid for a few moments, his breathing coming back to normal again. A lot of the stuff the kid had said could’ve been found on the internet. A lot of kids looked up to Tony, thought he was cool. No one knew about that particular incident. As much as Tony resented his dad, as angry as he’d always been at him, he made sure no one ever knew about that. He’d told Happy a long time ago, after a few too many, after Happy had saved Tony from some asshole thinking they could pick a fight over some girl and win. Tony had just turned 30 the night before.

The robot wasn’t there at his kitchen table. And no one knew about the dunce cap thing. Happy had thought they were little birthday hats.

“He told you about that?”

“I was his best friend…well non-human best friend. You know how some people have dogs that they talk to? Well dad had us. We were his family. U, Butterfingers and me. He didn’t have a lot of human friends. You and Pepper. He pushed away a lot of his friends though. Even super powered friends.”

“He told me lots of stuff. Like when you got hurt, he talked to me a lot about it. He said he didn’t want to lose you. That you were important to him. And that you meant an awful lot. He said if he had to record every episode of Downtown Abbey he would.”

[dumestark]

"I told you. I'm Dee. Not Dum-e just Dee. It's short for my name but I never really use my real name anymore because people say it doesn't fit me. I told you magic. Magic is real, Mister Strange uses magic. Scarlet Witch uses magic. "

[dumestark]

"Whoah no no- Dum-E, bud, we gotta remember to put the lid on that before we blend it." Gray slapped the lid onto the top of the blender, laughing a little at the prospect of their makeshift smoothie being flung across the room. (graytitaniumalloy)

"The best way to make a motor oil shake is to leave the top off."

[dumestark]

heavyweighthappy​:

Happy stared at the kid for a few moments, his breathing coming back to normal again. A lot of the stuff the kid had said could’ve been found on the internet. A lot of kids looked up to Tony, thought he was cool. No one knew about that particular incident. As much as Tony resented his dad, as angry as he’d always been at him, he made sure no one ever knew about that. He’d told Happy a long time ago, after a few too many, after Happy had saved Tony from some asshole thinking they could pick a fight over some girl and win. Tony had just turned 30 the night before.

The robot wasn’t there at his kitchen table. And no one knew about the dunce cap thing. Happy had thought they were little birthday hats.

“He told you about that?”

“I was his best friend...well non-human best friend. You know how some people have dogs that they talk to? Well dad had us. We were his family. U, Butterfingers and me. He didn’t have a lot of human friends. You and Pepper. He pushed away a lot of his friends though. Even super powered friends.”

“He told me lots of stuff. Like when you got hurt, he talked to me a lot about it. He said he didn’t want to lose you. That you were important to him. And that you meant an awful lot. He said if he had to record every episode of Downtown Abbey he would.”

[dumestark]

heavyweighthappy​:

“No!” Happy got up, sweating through his shirt. He took off his jacket, tossing it on the couch and went to the fridge, getting a bottle of water out and opening it hastily. He moved to his laundry room, checking to see that the fabricator was still there. It was. This made no sense. None at all.

Happy took a deep breath and shut his eyes for a moment. He took a gulp of water and came back out to the kitchen.

“Alright, no more fooling around, kid. You tell me your name and who’s responsible for you. Right now. Or I can call the police and they can sort it out.”

“I’m the son of Anthony Edward Stark. He made me in the workshop. He is the son of Howard Stark and Maria Stark. He didn’t like his dad. He liked his mom. And he told me a lot about it. One time his dad hit him.”

“I’m Dum-e or Dee. Dee Stark.”

[dumestark]

heavyweighthappy​:

“I’m not gonna argue with a hallucination!” Happy covered his face with his hands, then gestured with one, shooing the kid away. “Go– go away, little boy. You’re not real. I’m having a nervous breakdown. That makes sense. It’s about time… I’m just– Oh, god…” 

“I’m Dum-e. Not just a little boy. I’m a robot. Do you have any motor oil?”

[thanksbarton-moved]

“There’s been speculation that I was involved in the events that occurred on the freeway and the rooftop…” @dumestark​

He didn’t want to know. He honestly didn’t. Because, if he knew then he had to have some sort of reaction to the situation and he didn’t really want to react. It was easier not to sometimes. Still, he found himself asking anyway. “Is it true or is it just speculation?”

[dumestark]

“It might be true...it’s definitely true. Okay I did do it. I’m just I have you know I’m a lot like my dads. You know?”

“So I may have been involved in some tech stuff I shouldn’t have been playing with...”

[dumestark]

“Hi, little boy. Are you lost? How did you get in here?” -heavyweighthappy, pre NWH in his massively locked and monitored condo

"Happy, you don't know who I am because I was made of metal. I've been here because I got changed from a robot to an ai with magic. I'm Dum-e. I'd like to play with your extinguisher..."

[dumestark]

heavyweighthappy​:

It took Happy a moment to figure out the kid knew things no one should. Even longer to realize the robot he kept at the kitchen table… was gone. Magic. No…

“I’m having a stroke,” Happy mused to himself mainly, taking a step back from the kid. He pulled his tie free from his neck, unbuttoning the top button and moved to sit on the couch. His was breathing too fast now, that was for sure. His smart watch beeped in warning of his elevated heart rate.

“I’m hallucinating— I’m dying.”

“You’re not dying. Your name is Happy and you’re dad’s friend. You took care of me when dad couldn’t. You’re like my Uncle Happy. You know Uncle Happy, you’re looking a little freaked out.”

[dumestark]

“Hi, little boy. Are you lost? How did you get in here?” -heavyweighthappy, pre NWH in his massively locked and monitored condo

"Happy, you don't know who I am because I was made of metal. I've been here because I got changed from a robot to an ai with magic. I'm Dum-e. I'd like to play with your extinguisher..."

[dumestark]

heavyweighthappy​:

“Uh-huh.” Oh what an imaginative kid. “Are you Carla’s grandson? Did she tell you about my mechanical— I told her that was just work out equipment. He’s not a robot, okay? I mean— well he is, but— Look she wasn’t supposed to say anything about that. You can’t play with the fire extinguisher, kid, that’s dangerous. But how about this? You can play all the Donkey Kong Jr. you want, if you promise not to tell anyone about the robot, okay?”

“I’m not Carla’s anything. I’m Tony’s kid. I’m from when he was in college. He let me play with the extinguisher. I use to play with the blender too. Can we make some motor oil shakes? You can call me Dee. I don’t like to be called dumb.”

“Dad put me in the time out corner a lot with the dunce cap. I don’t like the dunce cap. You know dad made me when he was young and I’m his favorite. Where is he?”

[dumestark]

“Hi, little boy. Are you lost? How did you get in here?” -heavyweighthappy, pre NWH in his massively locked and monitored condo

"Happy, you don't know who I am because I was made of metal. I've been here because I got changed from a robot to an ai with magic. I'm Dum-e. I'd like to play with your extinguisher..."

[alwaysxinxtrouble]

@dumestark​​​ liked for a starter from Clint

“Alright…explain this to me again; who are you? And how do you know who I am?” Sitting back in the chair, the archer crossed his arms over his chest and waited.

[dumestark]

“You know how Tony Stark has robots? I’m the one that always hosed you down with the extinguisher when you came into the workshop. I chased you with it and you know...Tony called me Dum-e.”

“He thought it was funny and said that you must have been hot.”