dummtoes

i like the funny thoughts in my head

[dummtoes]

the compartmentalization of human experiences

Imagine a strip of plastic with sequential magnets places at equal lenghts. atop each magnet is a number- showing 1,2,3 etc. if you wanted to choose a number using a piece of metal, you would slide it along the strip until you find the number you want.

this is what i suspect is taking place with human emotions, experiences and expectations for a sizable population and its all because of media. specifically, short form content.

these tiny shareable pieces of content are the perfect catalyst to execute hyperrealism- a reality you assume before experiancing. rather than knowing how it feels to sit in a field of daffodils, you’re shown a video. a video that perfectly captures the feeling throguh music, visuals and cinematography. a video that reminds a man who actually has sat in that field, all about his experiance. but that is not the target demographic. what we instead see is pre-teens barely able to comprehend such an event if it were to happen to them irl, being spoonfed all the right sensory inputs to create a cheap substitute. the illusion of a desirable feeling created sticks with the viewer and even before seeing a metaphorical patch of grass, they “know” what its like to stand in the vast field of daffodils. they know what a first kiss feels like ever before the touch of a woman. the rush of climbing a mountain without ever leaving the house. the freedom that money provides without ever having it.

what happens when you have a repository of all human experiences and how to act before you even graduate? these manufactured moments meant to specifically ignite the emotion intended,unbothered by if its achievable in real life. you get a person who thinks a book only to see a page. uninspired by everything around him he goes to escape back into these fantasay world- from the real world mind you, in location but not in intent.

the plastic strip is the range of all experiences we can have. the relatable reel/tiktok/youtube short youve seen that seems very specific to you is the underlying magnet. you can choose any natural number but not nothing in between.

i dont know how to continure this and i dont know where i was going with it

the metaphor was good trust me i just

forgot what i initially imagined

[ninoochat]

How does one stops thinking their life is meaningless asking for a friend

[dummtoes]

nothing matters :(

absolutely nothing fucking matters :D

whatever you do it will eventually be forgotten so like might as well do whatever you want.

assigning random goals that seem cool and might be fulfilling later on. aint that what its all about

[demonadelem]

Rare pity, mercy and compassion of the giants called humanity

[sirfroggerspennyworth]

There are two spiders that live above my kitchen sink.

I find myself unsettled by them most days, yet I cannot seem to bring myself to move them nor kill them for they do not harm me and the webs they weave between my cabinets and the plants on the window sill are delicate and made with care.

The way they skittered across the traps they have made used to scare me, so many legs moving so fast, with multiple black eyes charting the course and the way they seemed to loom over my counter tops seemingly staring me down.

Yet lately, I find that I look forward to seeing them when I get a glass of water or cook dinner. They keep me company when I eat breakfast at the kitchen counter, all three of us waiting for the sun to rise. They never leave the kitchen, yet they occasionally venture onto the window sill or the plants, having their own little adventure in the flowers.

They seem to be horrible hunters as the webs they weave rarely catch anything, no matter how big they make it. They are not much help with the fruit fly situation.

I find that they make my home seem less empty, despite being no bigger than a quarter, they bring life into my kitchen.

We play a game of sorts some days, I blow gently on a small part of the web, and they dart up under the cupboard ledge, they slide back down after a bit as if they know that it is only a game, as if they somehow know I cannot bring them harm.

How could I when they have become friends of mine.

[kai-kat]

It's time we stop asking who's the top or bottom and start asking who's the lady and who's the line without a hook

[heatwa-ves]

romance is so fucking boring why don't you kill and eat eachother instead

[sharkyuwu]

[theunspeakablehorror]

[geekdawson]

one of the more valuable things I’ve learned in life as a survivor of a mentally unstable parent is that it is likely that no one has thought through it as much as you have. 

no, your friend probably has not noticed they cut you off four times in this conversation. 

no, your brother didn’t realize his music was that loud while you were studying. 

no, your bff or S.O. doesn’t remember that you’re on a tight deadline right now.

no, no one else is paying attention to the four power dynamics at play in your friend group right now.  

a habit of abused kids, especially kids with unstable parents, is the tendency to notice every little detail. We magnify small nuances into major things, largely because small nuances quickly became breaking points for parents. Managing moods, reading the room, perceiving danger in the order of words, the shift of body weight….it’s all a natural outgrowth of trying to manage unstable parents from a young age. 

Here’s the thing: most people don’t do that. I’m not saying everyone else is oblivious, I’m saying the over analysis of minor nuances is a habit of abuse. 

I have a rule: I do not respond to subtext. This includes guilt tripping, silent treatments, passive aggressive behavior, etc. I see it. I notice it. I even sometimes have to analyze it and take a deep breath and CHOOSE not to respond. Because whether it’s really there or just me over-reading things that actually don’t mean anything, the habit of lending credence to the part of me that sees danger in the wrong shift of body weight…that’s toxic for me. And dangerous to my relationships. 

The best thing I ever did for myself and my relationships was insist upon frank communication and a categorical denial of subtext. For some people this is a moral stance. For survivors of mentally unstable parents this is a requirement of recovery. 

[dummtoes]

thsi is by far the greatest thing i have come across in my life it saved my marrige

https://www.distractionfreeapps.com/repo.html

ladies and gentlemen you can now use Instagram only for messaging, viewing stories and searching things. NO MORE DOOMSCROLL.

this makes me unbelievably happy

IT ACTUALLY WORKS and its FREE

and its only on Android

[dummtoes]

one of the more significant contrarieties ive had to face is trying to figure when is the more real and subsequently more important parts of my life. generally divided between when im contemplative and living my day to day life.

the former takes place when im all up in my feels listening to music that only reinforce the emotions im feeling. the latter is when im caught up dealing with things and responsibilities and people and conversations where I'm actually living.

part of me thinks its painfully obvious which ones more important, but i genuinely feel like theres a case to be made for the former. as easy as it is to get over contemplative and overthink every thing in life, the moments where you sit down and give yourself time to think about whats happening around you really feel like the only times that matter. theres no point in going through life in a rush when you dont have the time to savour it.

this can also apply to negative aspects where you just need to take your time to come to conclusions or make decisions. i am especially bad at making important decisions on the spot without any prior notice. this extends to times where you just desperately want to feel something and escape from the monotonous repetitiveness of what seems like a never ending slump. these moments can definitely help you get some hope knowing thinfs might change someday.

on tbe other side, it doesn't matter how much you think. we've evolved to be social creatures. the mind can do incredible things by itself but it thrives and REQUIRES interaction and activity to take place regularly. theres also no point in all that thinking if you cant properly get your case across to someone who wants to help or just listen.

(a bit of a sidenote but its extremely frustrating when your feelings which seem oh so important and significant and clear to you in your mind immediately disintegrate the moment you have to get your state of mind across to the other person. i guess its just something that comes with experience which i definitely dont have a lot of.)

maybe the point is to feel. maybe its to live. maybe its both and maybe its neither. these stupid little times are why i love being a human being. my mind is in a state of serene chaos. organized omnishambles. a can of soup.

goodbye and thank you for listening.

[pasteboard]

hey netizens! i'm not sure how many people are aware, but youtube's been slowly rolling out a new anti-adblock policy that can't be bypassed with the usual software like uBlock Origin and Pi-Hole out of the gate

BUT, if you're a uBlock Origin user (or use an adblocker with a similar cosmetics modifier), you can add these commands in the uBlock dashboard (under My Filters) to get rid of it!

youtube.com##+js(set, yt.config_.openPopupConfig.supportedPopups.adBlockMessageViewModel, false) youtube.com##+js(set, Object.prototype.adBlocksFound, 0) youtube.com##+js(set, ytplayer.config.args.raw_player_response.adPlacements, []) youtube.com##+js(set, Object.prototype.hasAllowedInstreamAd, true)

reblog to help keep the internet less annoying and to tell corporations that try shit like this to go fuck themselves <3

[maybemalivore]

I would get down on ONE or BOTH knees for you, bro.

[dummtoes]

good thing there arent any worms in mY PINEAPPLE

[maybemalivore]

THE GUY I LIKE KNOWS I LIKE HIM NOW AND I DONT HAVE TO BE VAGUE WITH WHAT I SAY ABOUT HIM.

[dummtoes]

when you feel some form of emotion and your brain immediately goes-

"are you SURE that's how you're supposed to feel? are you SURE you weren't just conditioned by the many pieces of media you've seen which dealt with this exact feeling that you HAVE to act this way? how can you be sure that what you're feeling is genuine and not subconsciously manufactured?"

[shamebats]

When I see people carelessly throw around the term "gaslighting" I always think of something a couples' therapist whose YT videos I used to watch said about memories and emotions, basically that none of us are really capable of recalling emotional interpersonal conflicts rationally, but we all think we can.

He had a couple come in after they'd just had a fight in the car on the way to his office and they each told a different story about what was said, why it was said and how. Not out of malice or because one of them was consciously being manipulative, but because that's how our brains work. Memories always get infused with emotions, especially big ones. That recollection you have of a conflict where you were obviously the innocent angel victim and the other person the awful asshole? Yeah, chances are how you felt in the moment influenced how you remembered it and if you asked the other person, they'd tell a different inaccurate story, also fully believing that they're correct.

This doesn't apply to abusive people with malicious intentions, obviously. But it's good to keep in mind before we accuse someone we love of being manipulative or lying. Chances are they're just human and flawed, and so are we.

[dummtoes]

Incentivizing Discourse

It's incredibly easy to be swept into bandwagons of arguments that make sense on the surface but lose all their structure the moment you dig into it. Now more than ever, with the popularization of short-form content of which its entire purpose is to provide immediate and maximum dopamine with the least effort.

Users automatically have their feed curated such that they only get fed opinions they agree about in a good light and the ones they don't- in a negative one.

It's pretty common knowledge that deranged anger is a more expressive emotion than quiet contentment, meaning posts that trigger you are intentionally designed to do so, as it further increases engagement.

This only makes it worse for coming to an agreement about virtually anything, as these algorithms are incentivized to divide people on any topic imaginable.

[dummtoes]

The False Dichotomy

I definitely did not invent that term and I'm pretty sure I'm using it wrong– but it works to present my case. I often see people dividing themselves between one of two sides. Pro-choice or pro-life, communist or capitalist, LGBTQ ally or homophobe. There doesn't seem to be a middle ground between these extremes, and it doesn't make sense for there to be one but the popularization of these terms naturally feeds into stereotypes of each side making one think of a caricature of a side rather than the real thing. Which is why it's often hard for me to categorize myself as either far right or far left(non-politically speaking) in any particular conversation. 

By the term “false dichotomy” I'm referring to the skewed perception of a topic a person might have if they have just been introduced to it.

For example-A socialist or communist saying “ Capitalism is purely incentivized by profit and has caused suffering and inequality and made life worse for everyone, making it the worst economic structure” .

Or- a capitalist saying “Communists rally behind governments holding power over everything which will ultimately compromise our right for freedom and capitalism is the only way for innovation to take place”.

Now that is a major generalization and honestly a horrible mischaracterization of both sides. When said out loud by one party, you can't exactly label it as a complete lie or propaganda, as there is some hint of truth to both arguments.

Regardless, it's extremely harmful to leave an argument at that without further delving into issues and hearing points from each side.  An unassuming third party listening to either side as their first source of information would immediately assume he's being told the truth, inevitably making him choose sides and hate the other. The oversimplification of arguments into a “gotcha” sentence has been the biggest undoing of a progressive dialogue.