The Dungeon of Twee

Things of Beauty Found in Charity Shops

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“No, these aren’t costumes. Why would you think that?”

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Try as she might, Cynthia was unable to find pleasure in Oscar’s jazz trumpet experiments...

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Teddy Tea Party

“Hey Tiny Teapot Bears! I’ve got an ice cream for you! And, oh yes! Here’s some cheesecake in my dungaree pocket!”

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*PARP* "Please don't" *TOOT* "Seriously, I'm trying to sleep" *TOOTY TOOTY TOOOOOOOOT* "FML"

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Guys, thanks for coming round! What do you think of the new dining room?

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Known mainly for his painting and inventions, it is a little-known fact that Leonardo was also a talented sculptor.

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Today’s Theme: Dermatology

“How do you do. I’m a horse of a different colour. In this case green. Do you have a bucket? I wish to be sick.”

“You can’t put the cart before the horse, if I’m not a horse! Ha ha! Actually, what am I?”

So *that’s* where sandpaper comes from!

“Do you have any E45 cream? Moisturiser perhaps?”

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From The Middle Lands...

This week, Guest Dungeon Master Steel visited the Workshop of The World, The City of a Thousand Trades, the homeland of Ozzy Osbourne and Toyah Willcox, and documented the horrors he found...

“I’m pretty sure there’s only meant to be one of us...”

Winsome Kitty hopes you’ll forget about the injured-bird-in-the-kitchen incident

“Tra-la-la!”

“I’m so pretty!”

“This latex dress is making me sweaty...”

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It’s been a while since I cracked open the dungeon door. I wonder if everything’s okay down there...

Oooooooooh... My tummy feels funny...

Wahay! I’m such a fun guy! Fun guy! Funghi?! Geddit?

Might I interest you in some delicious beetroot? No? Are you sure?

What even am I?

--

Right then. All seems fine down there.

*walks quietly backwards*

*locks the door*

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Mate, I’m amazed you can get this stuff without a prescription! Look at me! I’m short and stout! Wheeeeeeee!

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“Simpering kitten delivery!”

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While Penelope slept, Tiddles regretted the epic quantities of catnip he’d consumed at the party.

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The Fotheringay Family really were the most awful people you could imagine...

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Worst. Holiday. Ever.

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Judgemental Dogs

“Look at her: all groomed like I-don’t-know-what. You don’t get a collar like that for just wagging your tail.”

“Bitch”

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Warning: Clowns

PSA: if you are in the Fulham Rd area of London, avoid the Geranium Shop, because TOO MANY CLOWNS.

Outdoor Window Clowns.

Indoor Window Clowns.

Indoor Shelf Clowns.

THERE ARE LITERALLY TOO MANY CLOWNS IN THIS VICINITY.

Warning ends.

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After months contemplating life in the wilderness, the pilgrim returned to town to sell some artisanal silk flowers at the craft fair.