@dragonydreams challenged me to do a round-up of all my fic for 2024… and it’s not as much as I’ve done in past years, but it was still a pretty good year. My fanfic was all Tommy and Buck and Eddie and 911. I did have one original story posted and a couple of blog entries.
Total fanfics written in 2024: 18
Total blog posts written in 2024: 2
Total novellas written in 2024: 1
Story/Blog words written in 2024: 63,293
Other words (including comments, posts, and work things) written in 2024: 33,238
Blog Posts
Happy New Year
Explanation for Not Posting
Novella
Mystic Fire
When the men in the black suits showed up at Ryan Murphy's law firm, he had run. He had no interest in being locked away to find out why he registered as an Elemental, but had no power. Chris "Jinx" Jenkins has a good life. He's settled in Hope Falls with no plans to do anything other than raise his little girl and use his Elemental power to make sure nothing in town burns. Then a Warden asks him to take in an unstable Elemental who's on the run. His life is never going to be the same.
This is currently on Kindle Vella. So, if you don’t have tokens, you won’t be able to read more than a few chapters. I am planning to redo the first twenty-five chapters and add another twenty-five to make it a novel, but I’m not sure when that will happen.
Fanfic
Secrets (Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz), Teen
Eddie has a secret and Buck is accidentally nosy.
All I Want for Christmas... (Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz), Mature
Buck plans a surprise for Eddie for Christmas.
Mansion Shenanigans (Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz), Teen
A chance comment leads to some new ideas.
Marry Me (On Our First Date) (Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz), General
Buck finally works up the courage to ask Eddie out... but does the universe actually want them to date?
Just a Little Care (Evan "Buck" Buckley/Tommy Kinard), General
Tommy is enjoying his new relationship, but he's a little worried about overstepping. Still when Eddie asks him to check on Buck, he's not going to turn down the chance.
Charting Their Lives (Evan "Buck" Buckley/Tommy Kinard), Teen
Tommy wants to keep dating Buck, but sometimes finding time around their lives isn't easy. A calendar will help keep their lives simple.
Package Deal (Evan "Buck" Buckley/Tommy Kinard), Teen
Apparently the writers forgot that Buck was heading out to meet Tommy? Anyway... this is how it might have gone.
Flying High for Date Night (Evan "Buck" Buckley/Tommy Kinard), Teen
Date night plans are a little different when your boyfriend is a pilot.
Unneeded but Loved Rescue (Evan "Buck" Buckley/Tommy Kinard), Teen
Buck's headed home when the Jeep dies... what else is his boyfriend supposed to do?
Comfort From the Storm (Evan "Buck" Buckley/Tommy Kinard), Teen
A storm outside introduces Tommy to another aspect of Evan's life.
Anniversaries Deserve Presents (Even Though They Said They Wouldn’t) (Evan "Buck" Buckley/Tommy Kinard), Mature
It's only their 6th month anniversary, they don't really need gifts to celebrate... right?
Running Out of Time, 911 fandom, Teen
The timers are counting down... will they meet their soulmate in time?
Pride Surprise (Evan "Buck" Buckley/Tommy Kinard), Teen
Buck is excited to spend Pride with Tommy, but why did Tommy have to go to work?
Leave a Mark on Me (Evan "Buck" Buckley/Tommy Kinard), Explicit
Tommy wants to make sure Buck remembers who's in his bed now.
Private Celebration (Evan "Buck" Buckley/Tommy Kinard), Explicit
After the medal ceremony, Buck takes Tommy home for some alone time.
A Little Time for Themselves (Evan "Buck" Buckley/Tommy Kinard), Teen
Tommy takes Evan away for the weekend and ends up asking an important question.
Accidental Confession (Evan "Buck" Buckley/Tommy Kinard), Teen
The morning did not go the way Tommy expected, but he can't be sorry about it happening.
Have Yourself a Merry... (Evan "Buck" Buckley/Tommy Kinard), Teen
Buck and Tommy enjoy a slow domestic morning before Christmas.
Please have a moment of silence for the people who were killed instead of freed when news of emancipation finally reached the furthest corners of the american south.
have another moment for the ledgers, catalogs, and records that were burned and the homes that were destroyed to hide the presence of very much alive and still enslaved people on dozens of plantations and homesteads across the south for decades after emancipation.
and have a third moment for those who were hunted and killed while fleeing the south to find safety across the border, overseas, in the north and to the west.
black people. light a candle, write a note to those who have passed telling them what you have achieved in spite of the racist and intolerant conditions of this world, feel the warmth of the flame under your hand, say a prayer of rememberance if you are religious, place the note under the candle, and then blow it out.
if you have children, sit them down and tell them anything you know about the life of oldest black person you've ever met. it doesn't have to be your own family. tell them what you know about what life was like for us in the days, years, decades after emancipation. if you don't know much, look it up and learn about it together.
This is Juneteenth.
white people CAN interact with this post. share it, spread it.
tbh a lot of my advice boils down to “hey you know that terrible horrible looming thing you’re doing your best to avoid and distract and escape as much as possible but no matter what you do it just keeps looming and looming and ruining your life”
- Pantyhose, tights, leggings, and stockings are each different.
- Waxing hurts and leaves red skin for a while afterwards while shaving leaves stubble
- Most can’t run in heels unless they have been VERY worn
- Insecurity in appearance doesn’t mean “buy me a drink”
- EVERYONE HAS DIFFERENT TASTES IN EVERYTHING
-Having large breasts sucks. It sucks beyond belief. If a garment happens to fit your large chest, odds are it won’t fit the rest of you. Underboob sweat is real and terrible. Bending over for extended periods of time will tweak your back out. Running can be painful due to boob turbulence. Bras are hella expensive. Big breasts are not fun.
Putting a tampon in isnt a quick bend-poke-done kinda deal. It involves cubicle yoga, messy hands, numerous curse words as you realise it isnt in correctly and have to take it out and start again with a new one.
If her hair is in an updo, one does not simply remove a hairpin to send her hair cascading down her back. No. If her hair is an updo, it will take at least an hour and an extra set of hands to remove the 137 bobby pins that are holding her hair in place. Furthermore, there’s probably a can’s worth of hairspray in there, intended to withstand category 2 hurricane winds. There’s no cascading happening here - the best you can hope for is a misshapen nest of hair to clump and poof unattractively in the back while it still remains flat against her scalp.
This is one of the funniest posts I’ve seen in a while (especially if you read all the comments), but also really depressing because at 42 I still judge myself as having failed for not matching up to all these mythical stereotypes despite knowing they’re impossible
The odds of a woman having smoothly shaved legs and armpits are directly proportional to the amount of skin her clothing bares and/or the amount of fucks she gives at that particular moment.
GLASSES ARE NOT COSMETIC. If we whip them off, we do not become gorgeous fashion models. We become squinty.
-most women wear bras. Yes, even when they are trying to dress sexy. Because bras make boobs look perkier and rounder, which is something men apparently find sexy, so being a seductress or femme fatale is not an automatic reason for a female character to not be wearing a bra.
-a good bra will hide headlights, or at the very least drastically reduce their noticeability. A women with enough pointy nipple issues will opt for a padded or molded bra to hide them.
-women’s nipples do not automatically become hard pyramids visible through any and all layers of clothing the second they become even slightly aroused. They are not the female equivalent of boners. And even if their nipples do get hard, the bras they are almost certainly wearing (because even a goddamn succubus with big, honkin’ knockers for seducing men is gonna have those painful puppies in some kind of boob sling) should keep those pointy nipples from being visible to every other character in the scene, JIM BUTCHER. YES, EVEN LARA RAITH WOULD WEAR A BRA ONCE IN A GODDAMN WHILE.
if you’re being tied up and tortured in a freezing underground dungeon, then you probably have more important things to pay attention to than how hard somebody’s nipples are, jim butcher
- Wearing a bra that doesn’t fit HURTS. It’s not sexy to wear a bra that’s “two sizes too small”, it’d make your clothes hang oddly and you’d have a weird, uncomfortable “quad-boob” effect and your back would hurt, BEN AARONOVITCH.
Also, after removing a too small bra, there’s gonne be angry red lines on the boobs and ribs and the lady is not going to want them to be touched by anyone for a good long while
-Lips aren’t just naturally red “as if she’d been drinking wine but they were just like that without makeup cause she’s so perfect,” my dear little Kvothe from ‘Name of the Wind’. Also, girls do not naturally smell like fruit or flowers, it’s either perfume or something she’d been eating recently.
I’ve been appreciating this post but now it’s back very specifically calling out my problematic faves and I don’t think those male authors realize how much it totally takes me out of the story for a moment when they commit these errors. It does nothing useful for the plot and is annoying for half of the audience
(Most) Women do not look at themselves in the mirror and compare their breasts to fruit. Any sort of fruit. Especially melons. Please save us from the melons.
Also we are not aware of our breasts at all times. I do not walk down a flight of stairs and think “oh golly my breasts are bouncing so much right now”. They are as much as natural part of our bodies as arms. Do you constantly think about how your arms are moving? Sure you may be aware of them, but paying full attention? Doubtful.
Also: women working out are almost never sexy. They’re not glowing or glistening or (kill me) *sparkling*. They are red and sweaty and gross just like all the dudebros doing their time with the dumbbells. Stop ogling fictional women at the gym, TOM WOLFE.
I never understood why men feel the need to address all this telltale “feminine” awareness when writing women. Like once in grad school one of my male colleagues wrote from a female character’s POV and was like sure to notice how her feet felt in high heels and all the women’s lifestyle magazines on the coffee table and also that like, her breasts were “heavy” or some shit. I write male characters all the time. Not once have I ever stopped to make sure they notice the weight of their own balls or been hyper aware of their chest hair or some bullshit like that. ????? why????????
Love this. I’ve been cackling to myself for good 20 mins reading all the comments as well but the last reblog had me dying like can you imagine!!
“Chad was late. He had an important meeting to get to and was mad at himself for oversleeping.
He quickly washed and brushed his teeth and then ran downstairs, his balls bouncing playfully in his pants.
Do I have time to make a coffee? he thought. He decided he did so went into the kitchen and switched the kettle on. As he was waiting, he noticed his thick, curly chest hair was poking through the button gaps of his shirt. He giggled to himself and tucked his manly fuzz back in, hoping it wouldn’t happen during the meeting.”
Piping hot take: I don't give a shit if straight actors play queer characters as long as they do so with empathy and authenticity. When you say shit like "only queer actors should play queer characters" what you're actually saying is only OUT queer actors should play queer characters. If you're assuming an actor (or anyone else, for that matter) who hasn't declared their sexuality is straight, you are participating in heteronormativity.
you're also saying that you, as an audience member, are entitled to private and intimate details of actors' personal lives, fwiw.
if you ever read any interview with Tim Curry, he's always very clear about finding this absurd. we all pretty much assume Tim Curry is queer, but we'll never know, because he has absolutely point-blank refused to discuss his dating life with the public or the media, because it's nobody's business but his (and anyone he's dating ofc).
it's also like--
some of you younger folk really need to go watch the documentary on Paul Reubens. "Peewee as Himself." Like, the context might help a little? for why so many of us who grew up before Obergefell et al really, really, really fucking hate this narrative where the public has a right to every single facet and detail of an actor's life? especially a queer actor?
actors, musicians, comedians, entertainers, etc., don't owe their audiences jack fucking shit about their personal lives. we can all get over that absurd entitlement any time.
I was just talking with my partner about this a few weeks ago.
Lee Pace is similarly an incredibly private man. For a long time we the public knew absolutely nothing about his dating life or anything about his family outside of little bits and pieces he shared, and even that was deliberately as vague as possible.
He played a trans woman in Soldier's Girl. It's based on a true story, and he actually met with the trans woman his character is based on. During the interview, he said something to the effect of having several stark realizations about himself after working with her and learning her story and her journey and her life.
I make the joke that anyone transgender heard the distinct sound of an egg cracking during that interview. And yet, Pace did not come out. Not until he was forced to, years later.
As, simply, "queer".
We now know he is married to a man. We know he identifies as queer, mostly because he was forced to by an interviewer who has a reputation for forcing very private celebrities to come out or risk losing status. We know he has dated men and women. By his own admission that playing Calpernia gave him very strong gender feelings and he saw a lot of himself both in the fictionalized character he played and in the real woman whose presence he was wow'd by.
Lee Pace might be a trans woman who has found it better to boymode for the sake of an acting career. Lee Pace might be a trans woman who avidly does not want to invite a spotlight into that part of his life- and who could blame him? Lee Pace might be an egg who has just barely started to crack, peeked out from beyond the shell and is not yet comfortable leaving the closet. Or Pace might be nonbinary, genderqueer, gay-as-gender, or... simply a cis gay man who feels it is nunya and enjoys being a little fruity and feminine in his spare time.
I don't claim to know the inner workings of Pace's mind, sexuality, or gender. But I do think that it would be wrong to force Pace to share what he clearly is not comfortable sharing for the entire world to see.
When it comes to celebrities who are respectful and also private, I don't think it is a bad thing if what we as fans know about them doesn't quite match up with the demographic they're playing. Sometimes, there's a reason they found a piece of themselves in the role. And especially when it has the blessing of the real life person that role is based on (such as in the case of Calpernia) or of the real life LGBT people working with that celeb every day - maybe the people directly involved with this know more about this person than we do watching from the other side of the screen.
I write the Wayward Children series of books, which has a cast of very young, very queer characters. And I keep having to push back against the idea that we need to only cast people who fit the exact sexualities of the characters. Not only is asking a sixteen year old actor what their sexuality is illegal, I would argue that it's immoral.
When I was sixteen, I identified as bisexual. I was not lying. Then I went through a period of identifying as lesbian. Still not lying. Currently, I identify as homoromantic asexual. I have never lied about my identity, but it has changed. Asking me to prove my queerness to get a job would have been cruel.
Kade should be played by a trans teen, absolutely. But if that teen later realizes that they're someone else and detransitions, that won't make them a liar, and it won't make it anyone else's damn business.
Inspired by this ask, specifically the first part about my regret regarding not having Buck be in the know about Austin Jones earlier. Most of this was brainstormed while spending hours in a car.
~
"Okay, I need you to explain this to me again." Evan's grin was far too reminiscent of the Chesire Cat's as he slouched in the passenger seat. "Explain this to me like I'm five."
"I should probably explain everything to you like you're five," Daniel said, rolling his eyes. "You act that age often enough."
"No, no. This is the first day off we've both shared in weeks, Danny. Or at least the first one that one or both of us aren't too exhausted to do anything. And we're gonna spend it with your boyfriend's family? The boyfriend I didn't even know you had?"
"He's not my-" Daniel sighed and rolled his shoulders. "Austin isn't my boyfriend. I'm just pretending to be his boyfriend to get his parents off his back."
"Beards are usually women."
Daniel bit back the immediate retort, that Evan should know all about beards, but his brother was already putting up with enough today. He didn't want to needlessly remind him of one of the reasons they fled El Paso. That mess was best left in Texas, to be forgotten and never remembered.
"I'm not his beard."
"You literally just told me you're pretending to date him to get his parents off his back. That totally makes you a beard."
"He doesn't want to date anyone," Daniel told him. "But his parents want him to find someone."
"Is this like a, I want grandkids, kinda thing?" Evan asked, and then scrunched up his nose. "Wait, no, then they'd want him to be dating a girl."
"They just want him to be happy. Not everyone's parents suck." Daniel shrugged at the look his baby brother gave him. "Also, they already have like, three grandkids."
"Okay..." Evan nodded, eyes fixed on the car ahead of them. "Just one more question: how long have you two been...?"
"She tried setting him up with someone for Valentine's Day and he finally just went with my idea."
"Valentine's Day?" Evan turned his head to stare at him, eyes boring holes into the side of his face. "Danny, it's fucking May. You've been dating a guy for four months-"
"Fake dating," Daniel corrected him. "And it's only been three and a half."
"Only- What the fuck, Danny?"
"Listen, it's his mother's birthday today." That statement earned him a bug-eyed stare.
"You're bringing your younger brother to your fake boyfriend's mother's birthday!?"
"She said to invite you."
"Wait, have you already met her? You said you've only been together for four months."
"Three and a half, and we're not together, we're-" Daniel cut himself off with a huff and hit the turn signal, flipping off the driver of the car that refused to budge out of the way for them. "She was excited that he found someone, and he's a momma's boy. Look, neither of us have anything better to do today, and it'll be free food."
"Honestly, you're making me regret not picking up that extra shift," Evan complained, settling back in his seat. "i could have been earning overtime."
"Why?" Daniel couldn't help but scoff. "You don't pay any bills."
"I offer all the god damn time, and you keep shooting me down!"
"Yeah, yeah, whatever, shut up. We're at his building."
Austin didn't live that far from their apartment, truth be told. Daniel found a spot on the curb, ignoring the fact that it was a fire lane because he was a firefighter and thus allowed to park there, and shot the man a text telling him to bring his ass down. Then, Daniel turned in his seat and fixed his baby brother with an expectant stare.
"What?" Evan demanded. "Why are you- No! Are you serious?"
"Fake boyfriends get shotgun," Daniel told him. "Get in the back, squirt."
Evan huffed and groaned and generally regressed to being a teenager, but he threw open the passenger door and got in the back all the same. Daniel rolled his eyes at him, ignoring his bitching about his legs and being too tall for this and how his knees were "pressing into my lungs, Danny, when did you stop loving me?" Most of his attention was fixed on the building's front entrance, and he gave a single honk of his horn when he spotted Austin coming out.
"I could've drove," was how Austin greeted him.
"You could have," Daniel placidly agreed as the other man settled into the passenger seat. "Austin, this is Evan. Evan, this is Austin."
"So." Evan leaned forward between the seats, that Cheshire Cat grinned back in place. "You're fake dating my big brother."
"That I am," Austin confirmed.
"Uh-huh, uh-huh. And how did you meet?"
Daniel silently rolled his eyes as he pulled back out into traffic. Evan caught sight of the motion in the rearview mirror and blew a raspberry at the side of his head.
"I went through the academy with a guy at his station," Austin answered.
"Oh! You're a firefighter, too. Neat." Evan nodded. "And what are your intentions with my brother?"
"Jesus Christ, Evan," Daniel snapped.
"I have to protect your virtue!"
"His virtue's safe with me." Austin sounded amused, a hint of a smile on his mouth. After over a year of friendship, Daniel was getting a hang of reading him now.
"My virtue was gone ages ago."
"Gross. No one wants to hear about that, Danny."
"Hey! How many times did I walk in on you and-" Daniel cut himself off, closing his mouth so suddenly that his teeth clicked together. The damage was already done, Evan withdrawing into the back and falling into sullen silence. Austin frowned and glanced between them, but Daniel just shook his head. "Where are we going?"
"Olive Garden, the one on Venice," Austin answered, letting the unasked questions go. "Other side of Lafayette Square."
"Sweet." The excitement and cheer in Evan's voice was mostly a facade. "Endless breadsticks."
"Yeah, yeah." Daniel flapped a hand at him. "Who all's gonna be there? I've only met your parents."
"But you know how many grandkids there are," Evan pointed out, a hint of a question in the words. Or maybe an accusation.
"Shut it."
"My sister, Cynthia, and Emmett have Dean and Sam. She's a bit obsessed with the show," Austin supplied. Daniel racked his brain, trying to figure out what show Austin was talking about, and just drew a blank. "My brother, Ethan, and his wife, Irene, have Rosemary. If you sit next to him, he will show you all the pictures he has of his precious princess. And he has a lot."
"Don't worry, we'll sit you at the kids' table," Daniel teased, smirking at his baby brother's reflection.
"Joke's on you, that's the cool table," Evan said, leaning forward again. "So is there anything I shouldn't do or say? Shut up, Danny."
"Wasn't gonna say anything," Daniel lied. "But probably the fact that we aren't actually dating. That's a big one."
"So I shouldn't mention the actual date that you went on last month?" Evan's grin was shit eating. "You know, with the chick that went to the bathroom and never came back?"
"Yes." Daniel glared at him. "You definitely shouldn't mention that, either."
"My lips are sealed." And then he turned to Austin. "He took her to the place I work at-"
"It's hard to keep track of where you work. You change jobs so often."
"I'll find something and stick to it." Evan flapped a hand at him. "Anyway, so I was there and got a front row seat to him crashing and burning..."
~
Hen still wasn't completely sold on the new captain. They'd gone through so many of them since Gerrard, some of them only lasting weeks. Bobby, though, had managed to last months by this point. He'd opened up a slight bit more, too, calling them by their preferred names and even starting to cook for them instead of leaving them all to fend for themselves.
They'd gone out for one of their post-shift get-together, her and Bobby and Chimney and Tommy. Different from but similar to all the times they went out before Bobby, Sal's absence hardly noticed. Hen didn't miss him, not really, the man was barely a friend and that was forever tarnished by the way he treated her when she first started. Chimney was right, when he called him a tool.
Anyways, today they went to one of their usual haunts, a hook-and-ladder joint downtown. The shift hadn't been particularly grueling, at least they hadn't lost anyone, but it was a near thing a couple of times. Karen understood the desire to unwind, the need to unwind, before coming home. She assumed that Tommy's invisible fiancee were the same.
Hen knew, in vague terms, that she existed. Nothing else beyond that, really, except that her name started with an A. But that was okay, she and Tommy weren't the sort of friends where Hen actually cared about those kinds of details, not like her and Chimney. Bobby wasn't the only one on their shift who kept things close to the chest. Hell, there were a couple that, despite how long she worked with them, she still wasn't sure they actually existed as people. Like-
"Holy shit." Tommy's coughing and sputtering interrupted her thoughts as he choked on his drink. "Is that Jones?"
In unison, they swivelled their heads to see what he was talking about. There, at the bar, sat their reclusive driver-engineer. He was chatting with the bartender, a guy several years their junior with what might've been a bruise above his eye who was propping himself against the bar with his arm, almost like he was posing. Hen spent several moments gawking.
"How many times did we try inviting him out with us?" Chimney sounded offended. "He always turned us down."
"Maybe he just didn't want to go out drinking with you," Bobby suggested with a smirk. That was a recent development, too, the captain's burgeoning sense of humor.
As they watched, another man took a seat on the stool beside Jones. The man looked similar to the bartender, enough so that Hen came to the immediate conclusion that they were related, somehow. Brother, probably. He said something that had both the bartender and Jones throwing their heads back with laughter.
Jones had been at the 118 for a few years, now, a transfer from another station when their old driver-engineer retired. Since that time, they'd learned almost nothing about the man except for his name and the fact that he was an LA native. He stuck to himself for the most part, oftentimes disappearing somewhere in the station between calls. He was so quiet that, even when the man was driving them to and from scenes, it was easy to forget that he was there.
Hen had never, not once, seen the man outside of the station. And yet, here he was, interacting and talking and laughing. It was like they'd taken a turn into the Twilight Zone.
She glanced at the bottle in her hand, close to empty. This place had servers to bring them refills, it was one of the things they liked about it, but..
"I'm gonna go get us another round," she declared. Bobby looked disapproving, but he didn't immediately say anything.
Hen got up and headed for the bar, curiosity pushing her forward. None of the men took note of her approach, so she managed to get close enough to overhear their conversation. The bartender was regaling them with a story.
"The guy was tripping balls, right?" he was saying, gesticulating with his arms. "So he's at the top of the lamppost and no one can figure out how to get him down, not without knocking him down-"
"Tempting, sometimes," the third guy, the bartender's brother, remarks.
"-but then this... I think he was a janitor? He just showed up and unplugged the light, then turned on the heavy duty flashlight he had and shown it on the ground. The dude just climbed right down to chase after it."
"Guy probably had a few bad trips of his own." The bartender's brother suddenly frowned at him. "You didn't do anything like that, did you?"
"I would never," the bartender replied and though Hen didn't even know the man, even she could tell that was utter bullshit. His eyes finally landed on her, and if he were a dog, his ears would be perked and his tail wagging. "Oh! Hey, sorry. What can I get ya?"
"A club soda and three more of these," she answered, holding up her drink. Then she nodded to Jones, which the man silently returned. "We didn't know you were coming out tonight."
The bartender frowned as he poured the club soda, looking between her and Jones. His brother was doing much the same, but with a wary edge to his posture. Jones just sighed and pointed at her and said,
"Wilson."
"Oh!"
The two men lit up in recognition, the older one relaxing in his seat. Hen was struck in that moment by the realization that these utter strangers knew of her, at least. That Jones had talked of her enough that all they needed was her name to know who she was.
"Austin's a gossip," the older brother told her. It took a moment for her to connect Austin to Jones, to realize that they were the same person. "Dan, that's Evan."
"Hen," she supplied. "You guys know each other."
"Obviously," Dan scoffed.
"They're dating," Evan told her, shit-eating grin directed at his brother. Hen reeled.
"Fake dating," Jones corrected, utterly unbothered.
"Whatever. What table are you guys at?"
Hen realized, after a beat, that the question was for her.
"Uh, right over there," she answered, gesturing. She looked over and saw that the other three were watching with interest.
"The table with the guy who's been checking me out," Evan said with a nod.
"Is that why you were standing like that when I got here?" Dan asked, face scrunched up.
"Gotta earn my tips somehow," Evan explained with a careless shrug.
"That would be Tommy," Hen said. Tommy had, coincidentally, changed seats to one that conveniently gave him a better view of the bar and the bartender. "I knew my gaydar wasn't wrong."
"Is he not out?" Evan asked, and looking to Jones for the answer. The man just shrugged and shook his head.
"He's engaged to a woman," Hen told him. "We've never seen her."
"Oh, a closet case." He sounded disappointed, and a little derisive. "Been there, done that, not doin' it again."
"Aw, look at you, squirt." Dan reached up to pinch at Evan's cheek, who slapped his hand away. "Learnin' lessons and everythin'."
"Fuck off." Evan set the club soda down on the bar, and then pulled out three unopened bottles to put next to it. "There ya go. Need help carrying 'em?"
"No, I've got it," Hen assured him, gathering the drinks up. She was reluctant to leave, as curious as she was about these people who had befriended the 118's least sociable member. But she didn't have a reason to linger.
She was halfway back to the table when she heard Jones laughing again.
"So?" Chimney was nearly vibrating in his seat when she returned. The other two weren't any better, though much more subdued. "You were there talking with them awhile, what did you find out?"
Hen mulled it over, debating how much to say, before settling on,
"Did you know Jones' name is Austin?"
~
There was no reason for Buck to be feeling this nervous, absolutely none. How many first days had he gotten through by this point? And it wasn't like he was going into this one completely blind, not with how much time he'd spent at Danny's old station. Nor was he going to be completely surrounded by strangers.
Case in point, just inside the truck bay - larger than the one at Danny's old station, more airy - there was someone waiting for him.
"Hey, Austin." Buck hurried his steps, not quite running to meet up with his brother's not-boyfriend. He looked around as he did, feeling giddy when he spotted the turnout locker with Buckley on it. "Where do I, uh. Where do I go...?"
"Cap's upstairs," Austin said. "Along with everyone else. There's food."
"Awesome."
He jogged ahead, excitement hurrying his pace, and took the steps two at a time. When he reached the top, it was to find most of the shift gathered around the dining tables. He recognized some of them by sight, thanks to his time tending bar at the hook-and-ladder joint. They looked up, most of them only briefly before going back to their food, at his approach.
"Uh, hi." He waved awkwardly at them, adjusting the strap of the bag hanging from his shoulder. "Evan Buckley, new recruit. I was told to report to Captain Nash?"
"Do you know a Captain Nash?" the older man at the end of the table asked the others, who shook their heads.
Buck's stomach dropped, before logic and reason caught up. Captain Nash was definitely here, somewhere, Austin had said so. So who-
"That's Nash," Austin said, pointing him out as he passed Buck on his way to his empty chair, clapping him on the shoulder. The others all stared at him like he'd grown a second head, and then turned to look at Buck in the exact same way.
"Did Jones just...?" Hen turned around in her seat, face lighting up in recognition as she got a better look at Buck. "Oh! Evan, the bartender. It's been a while."
"Buck," he corrected with a shrug. "There were three other Evans in my class, so..."
"Buck," she repeated with a nod.
"Take a seat," Nash said, gesturing at the empty chair beside him. "And welcome to the One Eighteen."
Hi!! I saw your reblog of that “send me an AU and I’ll give you 5 fun facts” post —
BuckTommy AU idea: Buck loses his leg after the Season 2 ladder truck accident and becomes an amputee. While he’s relearning mobility and trying to rebuild his life — and dealing with the grief of never being a firefighter again — he gets assigned Tommy as his PT.
1. Ali sticks around a little longer until Buck realizes she's doing it more for pity and because it looks really bad if you leave your boyfriend after his leg gets amputated. Her original reason for leaving was the danger he was in and he'd planned on continuing his firefighting career, so maybe things just weren't working instead? But Buck is just massively depressed and feels worthless and Bobby calls an intervention but for his mental health. And Buck is pissed and upset and says, "I lost everything." And Bobby points out, "So did I, once. And you still have," he makes a big show of pointing at everyone and counting numbers under his breath before pointing his finger at himself, "six people who will show up for you and tell you that they want you to take care of yourself." "Would've been seven, but Pepa didn't think Chris should be here for this. Also, she needed to watch Chris or she'd be here," Eddie adds. And that's what breaks Buck. He curls forward and sobs, and then he's being crowded by six entire people who love him and want him to be okay.
2. Buck's parents actually show up. I honestly think their anxiety about hospitals would not extend to their son having his leg amputated. They'd have a hard time but they'd show up. They'd help rearrange his loft so he's able to get around it easier and spend stupid amounts of money on things to accommodate him. Because they already had one son with major medical issues who presumably needed home care, and now they've got another one. I think this could also be an interesting time for Daniel to be revealed by them in a way that gets explained a lot better by the two of them. Buck would still be mad about being lied to his whole life, he'd still have it out with them and Maddie, but there's more of an opportunity for them to be the ones to fess up instead of him finding out by accident. Their relationship would still be pretty fraught for a while, but I think they'd show up for him the way they did during the coma.
3. Okay now the Tommy part. 😂 He starts getting fitted for prosthetics as his incisions heal over, and he gets referred to PT. His PT is an Army vet named Tommy who was disqualified from being a firefighter because he was dishonorably discharged under DADT. By the time the pardons for that came around, he'd already been a physical therapist too long. He does fly when he can, he even gives lessons every so often. Buck finds all this out when he's having a particularly awful day because wouldn't you believe it, a tsunami hit Los Angeles and all he could do is watch it unfold on TV instead of help. He has the knowledge to help people but his body won't let him. So he gets frustrated with himself and the session and sits on the mat and doesn't talk until Tommy prods him (literally, he uses one of those weird massage canes to do it) into talking. And Tommy's like oh yeah it's so fucked when you have this path laid out for yourself and then something happens that you can't control and you lose everything. He explains the dishonorable discharge--unlucky, most guys got honorable ones with bullshit circumstances attached--and being barred from municipal jobs because that's basically like having a felony on your record in some states, so he couldn't be a firefighter, couldn't be a test pilot, couldn't do any of that. He had to go back to community college and start his life over again. So with all that being said, does Buck want to try the parallel bars again? And Buck sniffles and nods, and Tommy stands up and watches him expectantly until Buck sighs and asks, "Can you give me a hand?" And Tommy does and says, "All you need to do is ask for help when you need it." And Buck says, "You sound like my captain."
4. Tommy's helping Buck with a stretch and keeps his groin a respectable distance from Buck's ass, but all Buck can think about is how close Tommy's dick is to him and how this is literally a sex position. And when he sits up after, he has to uhhh take a minute, his foot's a little asleep, no he doesn't need a massage, that's fine, thanks. On his way out, he starts frantically typing gay thoughts and "what if"s into Google like it's a symptom checker on WebMD and gets diagnosed as probably bisexual. Then he gets home and watches some porn and is like oh yeah okay, that's all really great, so...dudes. So he gets the crisis out of the way by calling Maddie and asking her to please come over, and his voice is all weird and strangled so she does and gets to hear about her little brother's boy trouble. She steps out for a few minutes and comes back with Ben & Jerry's, because it's the traditional boy trouble snack. Buck also talks about maybe becoming a fire marshal, because it was offered to him as a possible position when he was feeling like absolute shit about himself and his life and it felt like failure at the time but now it actually sounds kind of cool and important. He'd be like a fire detective. She thinks it sounds very cool. She didn't think she'd ever love being anything as much as she loved being a nurse, but being a dispatcher is like a second calling for her. And Buck realizes he's surrounded by people who've been through hell, lost everything, and fought their way back to a life.
5. Tommy cannot get involved with a patient. It's incredibly unethical. So when Buck almost kisses him in a very stereotypical stumble and catch someone scenario, Tommy helps him right himself and steps back. Far. And Buck starts to confess what sounds like feelings and Tommy's like okay so I need to cut you off right there and tell you that a guy I went to school with has a practice two floors down, here's his name and the number for his office. Once Buck's established care with someone else, he can finish what he was saying. And Buck looks at the post it and bites his lip and asks, "Is it because you'd maybe also be interested or--" and he gets a yoga ball tossed at him. So he sits down on it, pulls out his phone, talks to the very nice receptionist, sets an appointment for that Friday that's normally blocked out for paperwork, but if Tommy's referring him and it's a priority referral, then they'll make an exception and work out a set appointment slot. Buck hangs up, drops his phone on the ground, looks up at Tommy, and says, "You're fired. As I was saying--" And Tommy swoops down and kisses him.
hi 👋. me again. i have another idea for the 5 fun fact au thing.
bucktommy reincarnation au, perhaps?
The second one deals with suicide! Be aware.
1. They're soldiers in the Macedonian military in the first Macedonian War, only a few years apart in age. They train together and fall in love quickly and hard. One night they sneak off to visit the temple for Aphrodite in Pella. The war isn't going well, they'll die or become enslaved by the Romans soon enough probably. So they pray to Aphrodite to keep them together. A hooded figure approaches and asks them why they don't ask her for victory, for that is one of her gifts. They say they don't care to turn the tide of war, they just want their love to be protected. The woman offers them wine and food before they leave to grant them strength before they march to battle. As a blade pierces the younger man, the older one sticks his sword through the soldier who stabbed him and holds his lover close to his chest. He begs him not to leave him, pleads with the gods to protect his love, and as a sword goes through his back, he looks up and sees a hooded figure standing amidst the bloodshed. She draws her hood back, revealing beauty like he's never seen. And she smiles and blows him a kiss just before he dies, curled around the man he loves.
2. He's a potter who has terrible, wild, wonderful dreams about battlefields and dancing and drinking with a boy with bright blue eyes and an even brighter smile. His life is mundane, but he lives well and honestly, so he doesn't know where these dreams come from. One day, a young man comes to buy a cooking pot for his household. He's jittery and seems nervous, and the potter looks at him with a smile and says, "It's just a simple pot, you know." "I've watched you work," the young man blurts out. "You're, ah, very skilled." And they talk about pottery and the potter shows off some of the fine wares he's made that are decorated with simple but elegant designs. The young man is brushing his fingertips over one and compliments his dexterity and attention to detail. The potter's heart pounds in his chest, and he's about to say something foolish when his wife comes in. She greets him with a kiss to the cheek, and the young man says he should go, he's needed at home. The potter watches, bereft, as the young man leaves. Later, he's in the taberna and sees the young man with friends his age, and he feels utterly ancient. He's only forty, but he's not as vital and fit and alive as this young man. He's leaving to go home when he feels a tap on his shoulder. The young man says, "I think I could watch you work every day for the rest of my life and be content." And the potter says, "That sounds like a waste of a life." "To you, maybe, but who are you to judge another's happiness?" the young man argues. The potter laughs and concedes.
The young man stops by his shop often, and the potter always has something new to show him. His designs become more inspired, and the young man challenges him to new ones. It's late one evening, and the potter sits in his shop and the young man presses a kiss to his mouth. They sleep together in that shop where they've spent so much time, and then the potter sends the young man away, because he can't waste his life on a man who's never going to be younger and who's married. The young man fights him, but the potter tells him to leave. When he doesn't see the young man for several days, he goes to his home and asks his mother where he is. She says he flung himself into the sea, and the potter feels like his heart's been torn out. He stumbles away, walking until he hits the edge of the cliff above the ocean. He begs the young man's forgiveness, begs him to return, that he'll love him forever if he could just come back. There's no response, and so he steps off the cliff.
3. He's possibly going to become the patron to a young painter who was brought to his attention by a banker he knows who saw the man's work. When he goes to meet him, he's struck by the fact that this man looks like he should be in a painting, not producing it. The painter is proud of his work but not boastful, and the patron asks to see what he's produced. There's Greek battles, scenes of love and loss and the sea, and it all hits the patron straight in his heart. It's all so familiar and yet so foreign, and he stands before a painting of the sea and weeps. He pledges to the painter that he'll never be in want of anything, that he deserves all that the world can ever offer him. The painter laughs and says, "Really, all I need is a place to paint and somewhere to lay my head." The patron checks in on him but never to ensure his money's being well spent, he just likes to look at the painter's work. There's one of two men in a temple, their faces unfinished but their forms clear, and he can't breathe when he sees it. It's the dream he's had since he can remember. He touches the surface, forgetting that it might not be dry, but he whispers something that makes the painter freeze before replying in kind. They fall into each other's arms, and they love each other desperately and ardently for twenty wonderful years until a sickness sweeps through their city and takes the patron. The painter, now middling in age, never paints again.
4. They're soldiers on opposite sides of the field who can't strike a killing blow when they meet, they're knights serving the same lord and ignore their feelings until they can't and then they're too afraid to let it happen again, they're men with wives and families who can't do anything more than glance at each other out of the corners of their eyes, they're young lovers killed for being unnatural and abominations in the eyes of God, they're secret lovers who fight and one kills the other in an act of jealousy, they're courtiers who can carry on together, they're writers and artists and merchants and sailors and barmen and doctors and they always feel something when they meet, even if they only see each other in passing on the road. Sometimes they're lucky enough to be in love with each other again, sometimes they never admit it, sometimes one of them does and the other one is two scared to reciprocate. And every time, they dream of a temple and love and a battlefield.
5. Buck has weird dreams, he's always had weird dreams. Sometimes they're sad, sometimes they're weird, sometimes they're really hot. He becomes obsessed with history and weird things that catch his eye like how pottery is made and what paints used to be made out of and the feudal system. And then Chimney sneaks him and Eddie into the 217's airfield, and he's hustled into a helicopter by a man he can't stop staring at. When they fly over the ocean, he keeps staring and trying to work out if they've met before, maybe at a scene or maybe he's spotted him at one of the badge and ladder bars. He tries not to think about it, but it's all he can think about sometimes. He feels weirdly possessive of Tommy and his attention until he's hurt Eddie and Tommy shows up at his loft. When Tommy kisses him, it's so familiar and right. But it doesn't work out. Then it almost does, but they both fuck it up and then Bobby dies.
6. There's an exhibit at a museum that he decides to check out. It's some Renaissance painter whose work has been rediscovered. They're all very good, but it's not the skill that makes him walk so slowly, examining all of them. He feels a kinship with every single work. He can almost picture what it was like to paint them, can see the spots where the artist struggled even though it eventually came out perfect. He can barely look at the one of the ocean. And then he stops in front of a painting of a temple. There are two men kneeling, and a woman is standing in front of them. He almost reaches out and touches a spot, expecting a smear, but he stops himself. And then he hears a sharp inhale behind him and turns to see Tommy. Tommy doesn't seem to notice he's there, he's staring at the painting. He whispers, "Goddess of Love, we beg you." "We beg you to allow our love to survive this terrible violence we will surely face," Buck says, and Tommy's eyes snap to him. And they're both crying and couldn't say why, but then Tommy's crossing the space between them and pulls Buck into a hug, and they hold each other and cry. They walk back through the exhibit. They leave and go to a park, and Buck tells Tommy about his dreams. Tommy tells him about his. Buck asks, "What do you think it means?" And Tommy replies, "I think she did what we asked."
7. A few months later, they're in Greece. They travel to Pella and then go to the archaeological site where the ancient city was, and they walk to what is essentially lines of rock in the ground where the foundation still sits. They kneel in the dirt and lay out seashells and figs and roses and honey. "It's the modern age, darlings, you could have given me jewelry," a woman says, and they turn to see an arrestingly beautiful woman. Tommy recognizes her. "Why?" he asks, not about the jewelry, but about all of it. All two thousand plus years. "Because," she says, perching on a block of stone with one of the figs, "your love was pure, you asked only to protect it instead of your mortal bodies, you expected no answer, you did not seek to change the tide of war, and you were kind. Also, I was in a very good mood that day." "Thank you," Buck says. "For keeping us together." "Oh, you would've always found each other," she says, waving off his thanks. "I just gave you two an advantage. Your memories. You'll keep those so that you might have a better chance of keeping each other. This time seems to be going well. Would you like me to wed you?" And they're stammering and looking at each other and her, and she rolls her eyes and points out, "You're fated to be connected through all of time, stop being so mortal about it." So they wed in her temple, such as it is, and she leaves them with a wave and tells them to enjoy their honeymoon. The way she says it is a little suspect but makes perfect sense once they get back to their hotel and realize they've got the stamina and recovery of teenagers again. They consider making her another offering, and Tommy laughs and says, "I don't think I could survive it." And Buck kisses him and smiles and says, "Don't worry. I'd find you again."
Have a thanksgiving treat. Written for my beloved @thegingerparty's birthday. Have some more sphinx tommy. Follows this and this.
Tommy stared at the baby Road growing in his backyard. Six months since it sprouted and it was still nothing more than a stalk. It at least had deep roots—he could feel them stretching out beneath his feet—but the Road kept growing up rather than out. He read the entire metro handbook and then Evan had read it and made notes and began a spreadsheet to track growth, and he still didn’t have any answer for why the damn thing wasn’t putting out shoots.
The front door opened and then closed. “Tommy?” Evan said.
“Out back!” he called, absently tracking Evan’s progress through the house by ear: the twin bumps of Evan kicking off his shoes and then guiltily placing them in the rack; the thump of his duffle tossed into the laundry room; footsteps to the kitchen followed by a huff when he noticed the coffee pot was empty; and then the creak of the backdoor being pushed pen.
“Did you really not leave me any coffee?”
Tommy held out the cup, prepared just the way Evan liked it; so much sugar and flavored creamer that it didn’t actually taste of coffee. “I’m hurt that you doubt me.”
“I don’t doubt you. You sometimes make only enough for you on muscle memory.” Evan took the cup but stared pointedly at him. Tommy obligingly raised his arm, and Evan happily tucked himself under it, sighing as he took the first sip. “You know how I like it.”
“It’s easy to remember. I just add all the milk and sugar we have.”
Evan gently elbowed him in the side. “So how is our baby doing?”
“Don’t call it that,” Tommy said automatically. “It’s not growing how it should. It doesn’t feel right.”
“What does right feel like?” Evan wound an arm around his waist and leaned his head against his shoulder. “And don’t say ‘this.’ I meant how does a Road feel right?”
“This does feel right, for the record,” he said, only for Evan to playfully bite at his shoulder. “My Road—”
“YourRoad? Do you own it? Because I think the LA Metro Department and also Jamie and Lenore would have something to say about tha.”
Now it was Tommy’s turn to elbow Evan. “The Road I work on is finite. It has a beginning and end. It’s anchored. This one isn’t.”
“Well, it is a baby.” Evan took a contemplative sip of his coffee. “Maybe it’s trying to find the right fit for it.” The Road curved ever so slightly towards Evan, who grinned in delight. “See, it agrees with me.”
“It likes you.” All the Roads did; they never denied Evan entrance.
Evan’s grin shifted from delighted to smug. “Did you know that some places have Roads in the air? You usually find those at pretty high altitudes, but maybe we’re growing LA’s first aerial Road.”
The part of him that knew the name of every constellation in the desert sky and understood the purpose of riddles and turned a road into a Road said, yes, that’s right, it’s not the desert; it’s the horizon.
“I know that look,” Evan said, drawing back just far enough that Tommy got the caught the full effect of the Evan Buckley Sincerity right in the face. “You’re having a moment.”
“No moment,” he said, nudging his nose against Evan’s cheek. “I think you’re right. I think our baby is something new.”
“So you finally admit. That’s our baby.”
“I admit nothing.” He pressed a kiss to the corner of Evan’s mouth. “It’s going to be at least ten years until it’s ready to be moved.”
“Makes sense. It has a lot of growing to do.” Evan looked at him from under his lashes. “I can’t wait to see what it becomes.”
The reflexive panic reared up, urging him to run, go now, before it can hurt, but Tommy wasn’t his mother and he certainly wasn’t his father. He planted his feet and said, “Ten years is a long time.”
“Yeah, it is,” said Evan with that devastating sincerity, “but it’ll go by faster than you think.”
“Hopefully not that fast,” he said, and Evan kissed him as their baby Road stretched towards the sky.
--
It was a hot Southern California day, cloudless and bright, the perfect weather for flying.
“All set?” he asked as he finished the pre-flight checklist.
“All set,” Evan said, the Road coiled in his lap. They had carefully coaxed it free that morning where it looped itself around Evan’s arms. All Roads loved Evan Buckley-Kinard. Tommy got it; he loved Evan, too.
“Then let’s get our baby to where it needs to be,” Tommy said, and then, his husband grinning next to him, took them up into the clean blue sky.
How about an AU where Buck was in Chim's place for the Contagion arc and Chim was in Buck's place, though Buck and Athena are still the last people to see and talk to Bobby?
This is so very good. @beanarie wrote a wonderful contagion swap already that should all go read, so I'm going to do my best to put my own spin on this. Buckle in, we're going deep on this.
1. Bobby managed to stop the nosebleed, but Buck's skin was gray and soft, and he was curled up tight, like he was trying to hold his body together.
"I need--I need to call him," Buck said. "I have to-to--" He broke off in a wracking, shuddering cough.
"Who do you want to call?" Bobby asked, brushing Buck's hair back. "Eddie?"
Buck shook his head. "Can't do that to him and Chris. I gotta talk to Tommy. Gotta apologize. I was real mean, Bobby. I don't know why."
Maddie patched Tommy through.
Bobby had once listened to his wife being beaten half to death, helpless and useless, and he would not wish that on anyone, least of all Tommy, who had saved their lives. But here Bobby was, once again having to bear witness to a goodbye.
"I didn't meant it," Buck said, sweating out all the fluids they put in him as the virus cooked his insides. "I don't know why I said that. I-I have feelings for you. I always have. I wanted to try again. I miss you, all the time."
"I don't understand," Tommy begged. "Where are you? I'll come get you. Just tell me, sweetheart."
"I'm sorry,” Buck said, crying now. “I'm so sorry. I wanted it to be you."
Bobby never got to see Bobby Junior and Brooke grow into themselves and fall in love and make their own families and build their own lives. He never got the privilege of seeing who they became. He got eight years with Buck.
Buck gasped and shook, and Bobby took the phone from his hand. "This is Nash. Athena and Chimeny are working on a solution, Tommy. Check in with him."
When the fit passed and Buck was able to breathe again, he said, "You gotta look out for him, Bobby. Maddie is going to be okay. S-she's got Chim." He gave a hollow laugh. "Even my parents know how to do this, but Tommy is sensitive. He's g-gonna try to ride it out alone. You can't let him. You gotta m-make him get into the world. Promise me, Bobby."
Bobby got to see Buck growing into himself as a man who cared and loved and tried so hard, and who deserved to have someone who loved and cared and tried so hard in return. But above all Buck deserved to keep growing.
Bobby cupped Buck's face and said, "I promise."
When Athena delivered the antidote, Bobby was barely on his feet. His insides felt soft. It wouldn't be long now.
"Give me a minute," he said as Buck was lifted on the gurney. Color was coming back into Buck's cheeks. "It's been a privilege these past years watching you grow. I love you, kid."
Buck beamed up at him. "Love you too, pops."
He gently chucked Buck's chin. "Get him out of here."
And then Bobby was alone for what came next.
2. Tommy wasn't allowed into the room until Evan was safely in quarantine behind the plastic sheeting. There was dried blood under his nose and he was alarmingly pale and ashen, but he lit up when he saw Tommy.
"So they didn't black bag you," Evan said, voice hoarse and grating.
"Not yet," Tommy said instead of you were dying and I couldn't get to you . "You want some company?"
"Yeah, keep me from going insane," Evan said.
Tommy pulled a chair as close to the plastic sheeting as he could get, and that was where he was sitting when the Colonel told them that Captain Nash's equipment had been damaged in the explosion and that he had been infected. Bobby was dead.
Evan screamed. His legs twisted into a knot. The tendons on his neck strained and jumped. His body, his beautiful body that Tommy had spent long nights learning, jack knifed and contorted with agony.
"Evan, hey, Evan, look at me," he said while more medical personnel flooded the room. "You have to calm down. You can’t—Evan, please."
"He promised," Evan howled. "He promised."
Tommy pressed his hands to the plastic. He was crying now. "I know. I'm sorry."
Evan's keened like an animal in a trap. He was going to start gnawing.
"Look at me, sweetheart," Tommy said, the plastic bowing under his hands. "I'm here. Stay with me." Evan's gazed locked on him. "I'm here with you."
Evan didn’t look away.
3. When Eddie got back from seeing Hen, Tommy was on the couch, working his way through a giant basket of clean laundry, folding and sorting them into three stacks: Evan's clothes, Tommy's clothes, and what Eddie brought with him.
"Do you live here now?" Eddie asked, kicking off his shoes. Tommy tsk ed and Eddie went and put them back in the rack.
"I'm here as long as Evan wants me to be," Tommy said, folding a shirt with army approved creases. It wasn't really an answer.
"Speaking of, where is Buck?" Eddie leaned a little too hard on the Buck's name, not that Tommy noticed. He didn't notice a lot of things, like the fact Eddie had to sneak out like a teenager from his own house if he wanted a beer because apparently Evan was keeping a dry home now.
"Addiction runs in my family," Tommy had explained. "Better not to have it around when things are bad."
"He went out for a run," Tommy said. Another perfect square of a shirt was added to Evan's pile. "He'll be back in a bit."
"So he's getting some fresh air and you're playing homemaker?"
Tommy's eyebrows arched in the way that meant Eddie was being an asshole. "You do laundry for your son. I guess that also makes you a homemaker. Or do you need to be gay for that?"
"Yeah, I get it. I'm a dick." He rolled his eyes and ducked into the kitchen to grab a Gatorade. "That actually works out. I'm heading back to Texas next week. Think you can break the news to him?"
There was a suspicious silence from the living room. Eddie stuck his head in and then had to stifle the urge to unstick it. That was a furious silence.
"You want me to tell him for you?" Tommy asked. He was calmly sorting through a pile of socks, folding matching pairs together instead of balling them up like a normal person. "I thought you were his best friend."
"I am," he said, stung. ''But you know how Buck gets. He's going to blow it out of proportion. I have a life in Texas now. My kid is in Texas, but he's going to make it about me abandoning him. You know how he's been lately."
"He's been grieving." A pair socks went into Eddie's stack, and then another.
"So are all of us! We may not have been Bobby's favorite, but we still loved him!"
Tommy went very still. The hair on the back of Eddie's neck went up. "You know what I mean," Eddie said. "When he was in a coma, Bobby practically lived at the hospital. Even Athena couldn't get him to leave."
"He almost died," Tommy said quietly.
Eddie rolled his eyes again. "He's almost died before."
Another pair of socks were folded and set aside. "This was different. He was dying and he was trying to make amends."
Something ugly turned over in his stomach. Buck had been dying and Eddie didn't rate a phone call but the ex who walked out on him did. Guess that talk about family was just talk.
"Yeah, I get it," he snapped. "You were there and I wasn't."
"He was trying to spare you. He didn't want that to be your last memory of him. It was--" Tommy paused, jaw working. "It was bad."
Eddie had heard Buck screaming as he was trapped under the engine, and heard him furtive and guilty after he sued he department and dragged their names through the mud. He'd been there for the embolism and the tsunami and the shooting and the lightning strike. But when his team needed him, when Buck was dying, he'd been in fucking Texas packing up his son's room.
He drained the rest of the Gatorade and said, "If it had been any of us, do you think Bobby would have done anything differently? If it had been you and Buck dying in there, do you think you'd be the one walking out? We both know the answer to that, and so does Athena. Why do you think she won't even look at Buck?"
Tommy set his and Evan's neatly folded clothes back into the laundry basket. "Your aunt lives in LA, right? You can stay with her."
Eddie reared back. "Are you kicking me out of my own house?"
"It's Evan's house. Your house is in Texas with along with your son." Tommy balanced the basket against his hip. "I threw your clothes in with ours. You won’t need to do laundry again before you head back to Texas.”
"You are kicking me out." He scrubbed a hand over his face. "Christ, man, I didn't mean it. It's been hard for all of us. Do you know what it's like getting the call and having to figure out how to tell my son?"
"I do know," Tommy said. "Evan loves you, and I thought that--it doesn't matter what I thought." He hoisted the basket higher. "I'm going to go put this away. You need to be gone when I come back out."
"Tommy, come on," he said, taking one step to follow only to be brought up short by the absolutely furious look Tommy cut him. "What are you going to tell Buck?"
"It's been crowded with three of us here," Tommy said. "We need some space. Don't forget to get your stuff from the bathroom."
Eddie shoved the clothes into his suitcase and swept up all his things from the bathroom--toothbrush and cleanser and even the stupid tiny shampoo bottle from the shower—and, hey, if he knocked over Buck’s carefully organized rack, well, Tommy could take care of it. It was what he did now.
"I didn't mean it," he said again, but Tommy didn't answer, if he even heard, and so Eddie quietly shut and locked the door behind him.
4. Athena's new house was a lot smaller than her last one and a lot less welcoming, made as it was of clean lines and neutral colors. Chim gripped the tote bag and rang the bell. There was a time when the Grant-Nash household had an open door policy.
Athena opened the door, took one look at the overflowing tote bag, and said, "I can't eat another snickerdoodle."
"No cookies," Chim promised. "Last of the meal train casseroles. Thought you might want to pass them on to May and Harry."
Athena sighed and let him inside. There wasn't a speck of color to the place, but, hey, to each their own.
"I've heard it's been made official," Athena said, pouring them both glasses of wine. "Congratulations, Captain Han."
"Thank you." He lifted the glass in a half-hearted toast. "Still think it should be Hen, but there's a saying about horses and water."
He overplayed his hand--he was never one for patience or subtlety--because Athena gave him a knowing look over the rim of her glass, and said, "I'm not ready to see him yet."
"I know, I know. I'm not here for that." That earned him another look, this one a lot more irritated. "Okay, I am. Buck's family, but I can't take the moping any longer. I don't know how Tommy puts up with it."
Athena set her glass down. "If you think this is moping then you don't deserve to wear that captain's badge."
Chim winced. This was why Hen and Karen took point on supporting Athena. All he knew how to do was put his foot in his mouth. "Bad joke. You're right. I'm sorry. Bobby was always better at this. I don't know how I'm supposed to follow him."
Athena softened a single degree. "You're doing fine."
"Maybe," he said, thinking of how Eddie and Buck only spoke when necessary on the job. Buck had stopped cooking and when he wasn't redesigning their inventory system every shift, he was up on the roof on the phone with Tommy. Maddie was sure they were going to elope any day now. "I could be doing better."
"Who couldn't?" she said with a wry smile.
"He thinks you hate him," Chim said, taking a risk.
Athena's mouth thinned. "I don't hate him."
"Mad at him, then."
"Of course I'm mad at him," she snapped. "I'm mad at all of you. My husband is dead and you all got to walk away."
"Yeah, we did." He took a greater risk and reached for her hand, not offended when she pulled away. "You think we're not furious at ourselves? You think Buck hasn't spent every day since then in a hair shirt?"
"That idiot," she said, still furious. "Bobby wouldn't have survived if Buck died in there. Bobby loved him and he's wasting it."
"He's trying," Chim said gently. "We're all trying."
They had Buck and Tommy over for dinner where Buck helped feed Robert and got Jee to eat two bites of broccoli even as he barely touched his own food. Tommy did his best to carry the conversation despite his obvious exhaustion, and Chim could have damn near wept at how hard everything felt now.
"I don't wish it was him," Athena said, gaze far away. "I have never wanted that boy to not be in the world. He's one of Bobby's kids, but I can't deal with him right now. I need time."
"Take all the time you need." He drank some wine because Athena had good taste. "Did you get the email about the dedication ceremony?"
She snorted. "Straight from the chief." She refilled her glass, but Chim declined when she offered to do the same for him. He had to drive after this. "It's for Bobby's legacy. I'll be there."
"I'll keep the chief away from you," he said, and was rewarded with the world's smallest smile. "When you're ready, I hope you stop by for family dinner. We miss you."
"When I'm ready," she agreed.
They finished the wine and she walked him out. At the door she said, "You're doing a good job. Bobby would be proud of you. And tell Buck I don't blame him."
"I don't think it will mean much coming from me," Chim said. Bobby's last orders were to take care of their family, and he was trying.
"Not yet," Athena said, unyielding.
Chim took one last risk. "We're his legacy too, especially Buck."
"I'm very aware," she said dryly before softening one more degree. "It won’t be forever."
"I hope not." This time when Chim reached for her, she didn't flinch away. The hug was brief but she held him back. "I'll see you at the dedication."
Athena waited until he was in the car before he shut the door. He checked the time; he had a few minutes to spare before he had to pick Jee up from preschool. He allotted himself three minutes of crying before fishing out a packet of tissues he and Maddie kept stached in every nook and cranny because kids were perpetually sticky. He'd been tempted on more than one occasion to press Jee against a wall and see if she'd adhere there. Poor Jee, who was old enough to get that Bobby was never going to visit again but young enough not to understand why. He'd really hoped to put off explaining death until at least the first goldfish died.
He hoped his daughter wouldn’t have to learn about death the way her parents had, buring a brother and a mother. At least Buck had made it. At least Chim didn’t have to explain to his daughter why her beloved uncle was never coming home. That was another a debt owed to Bobby that could never be repaid.
"Okay," he said, wiping his eyes before backing out of the driveway, "on to the next thing."
5. Tommy didn't even twitch when the alarm went off. He'd been reinstated just in time to get called up to fly suppressant on a wildfire up north. Buck was pretty sure that was the only reason the suspension was lifted because LAFD was short on pilots and they were definitely short on pilots with Tommy's skills. No one else was insane enough to take on the army.
He pressed a kiss to the back of Tommy's neck--Tommy grumbled but settled without surfacing--and got up for his morning run. After Bobby's death, it'd been a way to exhaust himself enough that he could sleep. He'd scared Tommy then, dropping weight and muscles mass by the pound, barely tethered to the world. Some days it still felt like he was back in the lab, waiting for his body to finish shutting down, but it was getting better. Now he ran because it felt good to let his body move. It felt good to be in his body.
He did a loop of the neighborhood, past the park he and Tommy took Jee and Robert to on fun uncles days, waving to the students renting out the Santos' old house, and detouring around the Martins and their very enthusiastic dogs that attempted a prison break as soon as everyone passed by. Tommy had lived there long enough that everyone knew his name, but a couple of months in and Buck was still just the boyfriend. Which, hey, he didn't hate that, but he was hoping for an upgrade.
Tommy was awake on the porch when he finished his final loop, two cups of coffee and a protein shake sitting on the small table Buck had thrifted and Tommy refinished.
"Thought you'd still be sleeping," he said, pulling out his ear buds.
"Woke up when my space heater left and the bed got cold," Tommy said, sleepy eyed and so fond.
"I'm not the one that puts off heat like a sun. Is that for me?"
Tommy slid the coffee further away. "Finish stretching. I don't want you cramping later."
Buck heaved a sigh but did his warm down routine because he also didn't want to cramp later. Maria from next door wolf whistled on her way to her car.
"Eyes to yourself," Tommy said.
"Tell the view to be less nice then," she called back. She was a nurse, and she and Buck had a pact to water the other’s plants when shifts ran long.
"You heard her," Tommy said. "Be less hot."
"You be less hot." He finished stretching out his bad leg, wincing at the pull where the scars were the worst, and collapsed next to Tommy on the bench. They should replace the cushions after last week's surprise rainstorm. He could probably bribe Tommy with a really good blowjob to go out later.
"Coffee or shake?" Tommy asked.
"Come on, it's not even a question," he said, and Tommy sighed and handed over the coffee. Buck happily tucked into Tommy’s side. He loved mornings like this, just him and Tommy and the life they were making. "It's six months today."
"It is," Tommy agreed in that carefully neutral voice that he used a lot those first few months, like Tommy was afraid any emotion would send him into a catatonic state.
It wasn't an unfounded fear; he only remembered those weeks between the lab and funeral in scattered fragments where the only constant was Tommy.
"How are you?" Tommy asked when he'd been quite too long.
"Sad," Buck said, and they both laughed at that. "But not as sad as I was. I'm even happy sometimes."
Tommy nudged their knees together. "Only sometimes?"
He hid his smile behind his mug. "Most times. Hey, do you think Athena will want to be a witness for us?"
Tommy took the question seriously, the same as he did for most things. That had been a surprise to realize that he had to be careful with what he said because Tommy listened and took him seriously. Buck was doing his best to be worth of that attention.
"Probably," Tommy finally said. "I think it's worth it to ask."
He and Athena were trying to rebuild a relationship in Bobby's absence where they didn't just look at each other and see what they lost. It was a slow process, but they were trying.
"I want her there," he admitted. "She and Bobby got married at the courthouse. I think she'd appreciate us doing the same."
"So we'll ask her," Tommy said, like it was that easy. Maybe it was. "Is there anything special you want to do today?"
Buck followed Tommy's lead and thought about it. They had decided weeks ago not to go Minnesota, but there were other ways to honor Bobby that didn't involve both of them contorting themselves into economy seats.
"No," he finally said. "I think I just want to have a normal day."
"Whatever you want," Tommy promised, pressing a kiss to his birthmark.
All Bobby wanted for them was to have good lives full of love and meaning, and so that was what Buck was going to do. He was going to live.
AU where Buck and Tommy reconcile after Bobby’s funeral and Tommy asks Buck to move in with him when Eddie makes the move back to LA
Oh, I also love this because honestly before Bobby's death I was like they need to take things slow, and now i'm just like nm they have one conversation and then elope. So in that vein:
1. Tommy would be pissed that Evan didn’t look at him once during the entire funeral, not even when Bobby's casket was held between them, if not for the fact that Evan didn't look at anyone. Evan’s face was slack and his gaze empty and he didn't let anyone touch him.
Fuck, Tommy thought with feeling.
2. Evan didn’t have a shortage of people in his life who loved him. Those people would check in, make sure he was eating and sleeping and still part of the world. Evan would be taken care of.
And yet Evan had left the funeral alone.
So Tommy grabbed the most edible casserole from the Five-Seven and went over to Evan's house only to run into Eddie in the driveway.
“I’m on my way out” Eddie said when he saw the dish in Tommy's hands, “but can put it with the other grief casseroles. Evan’s in the kitchen.”
Evan was in the kitchen, staring blankly at the stack of grief casseroles.
“Hey,” Tommy said softly, watching as blinked himself back to awareness. “How are you doing?”
“Bad,” Evan said with terrible hollow laugh, like he was caving in on himself. “I'm doing really bad.”
Tommy opened his arms and Evan fell into him, hands fisted into the back of his shirt. “I got you,” Tommy murmured, running a hand along the knobs of Evan's spine.
“It hurts,” Evan said, and shook apart in Tommy’s arms.
3. They tentatively begin to see each other after that. They weren't friends, but they were friendly. They texted most days. Some mornings Evan came over and drank the coffee Tommy made him and ate a few bites the breakfast Tommy set in front of him. Tommy kept a list of what Evan liked best: pancakes he would eat most of, omelets were more hit or miss, eggs benedict were a failure, and the french toast casserole had Evan silently crying. That, Tommy remembered too late, was one of Bobby's specialty.
Three weeks after the funeral, after Evan had finished off two waffles topped with strawberries and whipped cream, they retreated to the adriondak chairs in the back yard, and Evan said, "I think I might transfer. It's not the same anymore."
"Yeah, I imagine so," Tommy said.
"You're not going to try talk me out of it?" Evan asked. "You don't think I'm letting Bobby down?"
"Bobby would want the best for you. And maybe the best is to leave." He nudged his bare foot into Evan's. "Bobby understood that. Who do you think helped me transfer to Harbor?"
"Okay," Evan aid, and for the first time in three weeks, Evan smiled. "Yeah, I'm going to do it."
All they had was coffee in his mismatched mugs, but Tommy toasted to that anyway.
4. Tommy wasn't there for the apartment building collapse. He was grounded for his part in the light domestic terrorism, but he was still lead pilot, and it was his responsibility to get the birds where they needed to go.
When it was over, Evan showed up at his place with coffee from Tommy's favorite WeHo pretentious espresso bar and four different danishes he made himself.
"Eddie's moving back," Evan said once they retired to the adriondak chairs.
"And you're giving up the house," Tommy said.
Evan shrugged. "Chris grew up there. It was never my home."
"Have you found a new apartment yet?" he asked instead of saying you self-sacrificing martyr .
"Not yet." Evan turned his favorite mug around in his hands. I like big balls was printed above two balls of yarn. He bought it for his grandmother, and it made her laugh every time she used it. "Still searching."
Tommy let himself really look at Evan, the way he did back during those six months. Evan was still thing, but he was putting weight and muscle mass back on. Sleep, most of which was had on Tommy's couch, had eased the dark smudges under Evan's eyes. There was more gray in his hair, but Evan smiled more now, easing the drawn lines around his eyes and mouth. He was the most beautiful man Tommy had ever seen.
"You should live with me," he said.
Evan's eyes went wide and startled. "Tommy."
"I mean it. Move in with me."
"I can't," Evan said, curling into himself. "I hate being your friend. I can't be your roommate."
"I don't want a roommate." He moved the chairs closer after the last time they were out here, and he barely needed to reach out to touch Evan's jaw, his cheek, his chin. "I want to live with you."
"Why now?" Evan asked, holding himself so still and careful. "What's changed?"
"Me. I've changed. So have you." He touched his thumb to the corner of Evan's mouth. "Life is short. Why be apart when we can be together?"
Evan's breath shuddered out, and he said, "Yeah, okay."
"So enthusiastic," he said dryly, the last syllable barely leaving his mouth before Evan was climbing into his lap, coffee tipping over and onto the grass. Tommy ignored it; he dearly missed Evan's weight on him.
"Yes," Evan said, and kissed him.
5. Tommy's suspension was lifted just in time for all of AirOps to be grounded as debris rained down on Los Angeles.
"I just know this is your boy's fault," Shore grumbled from where they were taking shelter in the hangar.
"Almost definitely, statistically speaking," Tommy said happily, and earned an elbow to his ribs for his trouble.
It was close to dawn when his part was over and he got to drag himself home to see that Evan had beat him there.
"Burgers," Evan said, shoving a bag full of approximately twenty cheeseburgers at him.
"I love you," Tommy said, and shoved one in his mouth and took a page out of Evan's book and barely chewed before moving on to the next one.
"Did you know," Evan said sometime later, after they housed an unwise number of burgers, "that California doesn't have a waiting period to get married?"
Tommy glanced at Evan's phone, which was pointedly set screen side down. "Are you sure?"
"Bobby and Athena eloped. They didn't want to wait any longer. "Evan's smile was shy and sweet. "Why be apart when we can be together?"
"Okay," Tommy said.
"Yeah?" Evan said, smiling brightening like it had back when Tommy had agreed to be his date to his sister's wedding, like Evan couldn't believe his luck.
It was his turn to climb into Evan's lap. "When does the courthouse open?"
"In like four hours." Evan's hands landed on his hips. "So that's a yes?"
"Yeah, let's get married," Tommy said, and kissed Evan as the sun came up.
AU where Buck meets Tommy in the time period between the plane water/retardant drop and the truck bombing.
send me an au idea and i'll give you five facts giant fucking bullet points apparently
okay okay i had to look up the episode list to get a grip on the timeline but i think i have it down
the 118 goes out for drinks after eddie's miracle from the sky. chimney comes along despite still being in recovery, and brings tommy along since he was the lynchpin to the rescsue. tommy is a bit reluctant, feeling like he's crashing someone else's party, but he lets chimney talk him into it since he mostly knows everyone, and he can meet the hotheaded probie that replaced him and said no-longer-a-probie's even probie-er new partner. tommy is initially a bit guarded, still haunted by the fresher memories of the old 118 and the old himself, but the tension defuses quickly in the face of bobby and hen's warm welcome, chimney's dramatic retelling of their combined heroics for the day, eddie's willingness to swap army stories, and buck's starry-eyed, enthusiastic interest. buck is immediately intrigued by this cool firefighter pilot with daredevil rescue plans and years of experience on him, and spends half the night peppering him with questions. tommy ends the night swapping numbers with eddie and buck, and promising the 118 to hang out more often.
after the bank heist situation, buck finds himself calling tommy because it's so insane he needs to talk to somebody about it, but everyone else he knows was there (or is dating someone who was there, in maddie's case) so they're not interested in hashing it out with him for the fifth time. tommy is both aghast and amused by the convoluted ploy that they somehow got wrapped up in. he brings up the chicken story. buck counters with the lsd dosing story, and the shark story. this prompts tommy to wonder if the 118 is cursed, somehow. buck is immediately taken with this theory. tommy is both bemused and strangely charmed by how far buck runs with the idea.
buck and ali's relationship still plays out per canon. plus, eddie is too busy with shannon to hang out as much with tommy as in season 7, so there's no inexplicable jealousy to jumpstart buck's bi awakening. this gives tommy and buck's friendship time to grow more slowly as well. they go to trivia. buck learns a bit of muy thai, because the firefighter calendar thing made him realize he does actually want to bulk up a bit, and it's nice to have a workout buddy. buck makes an offhand comment about wanting to see the helicopter that saved his best friend's life, and ends up with a detailed tour of harbour station. tommy somehow ends up telling him about abby, somewhere in the so this is why i left 118 stories. buck tells him about his time with abby, and then somehow ends up telling tommy about maddie and doug, too. it's nice, getting to talk about these things with someone who's close but not too close.
when bobby is benched, buck calls tommy--partly because it felt like someone should let him know, and partly because he kind of wants to talk to someone less directly involved but not . when chimney takes over and becomes a micromanaging captain, buck calls tommy again because complaining with hen and eddie just isn't cutting it anymore, and bobby is being too reasonable about the challenges of leadership to be an effective venting outlet. tommy commiserates about less-than-stellar captains, and unexpectedly finds himself talking about gerrard in an attempt to convince buck to look on the bright side. he calls tommy again after shannon, because watching eddie lose the love of his life rattled him, too, but he obviously can't talk to eddie about it, not when eddie is grieving himself. tommy doesn't have any magic words, but he does offer a listening ear and craft beer and a place to crash after he gets drunk while talking about it, and that turns out to be exactly what he needed.
tommy visits buck in the hospital after the ladder bombing. he keeps visiting through the hospital stay, and the pt afterwards. he tries to help buck think about his life outside of firefighting, about building new hobbies and reinventing yourself when you need to. after ali breaks up with him, buck takes stock of his life and realizes that he's been leaning on tommy more than ali this whole time, anyway. that when something weird or stressful or interesting happened at work--and that's most of his life, work and the people in it--or when he was stressed out about his recovery and being stuck benched, it was tommy he wanted to tell first. not ali, not eddie, not even maddie. he has a crisis about it and ends up on tommy's doorstep, all i think i made you a load-bearing part of my life without meaning to and i really don't know what i'd do without you but i don't know how that happened and i just. you're important to me and i don't know what it means but between shannon and bobby and athena getting married and almost being crushed by a ladder truck i realized it's important to tell people when they matter to you. so. i just wanted you to know that. tommy is tempted to kiss buck about it right then and there, but he holds himself back because he also really likes having buck as a friend and would like to get to keep that, too. he invites buck inside instead, and gets buck to calm down, and then slowly, carefully, painstakingly lays out the truth--because he also had some realizations watching eddie lose shannon and then watching buck almost die. listen. you know i'm gay. i don't know if you know that i'm also interested in you. it doesn't have to mean anything, you've been a friend too and i'm happy to stay that way but. well. you said you didn't know what this means. that's what it means to me. buck ends up kissing tommy about it.
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