Why Not Dnd

The most ridiculous stuff happens while playing this game

[filibusterfrog]

hybrids <3

[wizard-email]

sometimes dnd archetypes annoy me because like. at the core of a paladin oath it's being so dedicated to something it gives you superpowers

they're not christian camp counselors or cops they're fucking autistic

[wizard-email]

I know this is a meme but Paladins are genuinely one of the most flavour-rich classes in the game.

An oath is a fascinating cornerstone of characterisation simply because a person, for whatever reason, has been driven to condense their permanent identity into a few words. It's this immovable pillar of their character magically anchored to the core of their being, and what's more? It's by choice.

You don't fall into a Paladin oath the way you might with a Warlock pact & nowhere does it say an oath's power has to be granted by another entity.

Every character has a core, but Paladins chose theirs. Taking an oath is looking at one thing, anything and going this. this is worth it. I will take this into myself and swear never to stray from it and it will inform everything I have been and everything I am now and everything I will become in the future.

Imagine loyalty so extreme it produces its own divinity and tell me that isn't worthy of a story.

[wizard-email]

via @wizardpotions

Once again I bear the burden of the only person who has been right about anything ever

[yourplayersaidwhat]

Manners maketh the halfling

Halfling Ranger: I stab him. Politely.

Firbolg Barbarian: Yeah, with her pinky finger sticking out.

Halfling Ranger: *rolls nat 20 to hit*

[thedicepaladin]

When the Party is under Level 3:

[grimeclown]

You guys ever think about how dnd 5e is like. “Most people consider tieflings to be unsettling and untrustworthy. Nobody likes them because they are naturally unnerving, and because of their associations with devils. People who meet them are likely to look down on them and not want to interact with them. They get an ability score increase of +2 charisma”

[mindfulwrath]

My first DM explained it like this: “charisma” is not the same thing as charm or attractiveness or even appeal.

“Charisma” is stage presence.

A character with high charisma is one you can’t ignore. They stand up and say “okay” and now everyone in the room is looking at them and paying attention. Maybe it’s because they’re the kind of person who swaggers around in high-waisted pants and a billowy white shirt. Maybe it’s because they’re eight feet tall and carrying an axe. Maybe it’s because they’re unsettling, unnerving, untrustworthy. Whatever gets your attention. Whatever stops you from looking away. Whatever it is about their bearing that makes them take up more space than they physically should.

That’s charisma.

[blumineck]

How do your characters deal with the most terrifying aspect of the BBEG's lair: the climb up?

[blumineck]

A new video appears! Is it effective? You decide!

[yourplayersaidwhat]

No context:

“I stab myself in the heart.”

“WHY?! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!”

“YOU JUST HAD TO STAB THE BABY!”

“WHY WON’T YOU LET US HAVE ANYTHING NICE?!”

“I WROTE DOWN LAWFUL GOOD AND I FUCKIN’ MEANT IT!”

[rockshitty]

My favorite part of my dnd group right now is that their collective anxiety creates a better story than I do when planning the session. 

[rockshitty]

Me, intending to have them either fight or befriend a pack of CR ½ wolves: As you’re setting up camp tonight, you hear howling in the distance.

My player, a ball of anxiety with legs: hey, uh, dm? What phase is the moon right now?

Me, reading their mind and quickly flipping pages to the CR 3 werewolf: Oh, you know. Full. 

[thedungeonofbaddecisions]

“The power of friendship… and muuuurder!”

— Me.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

What's your opinion on D&D?

ya’ll just wanna examine your trauma while hanging out w/ dwarves

[nerdragons-hoard]

And Elves.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

And Elves

[dailydungeondelves]

You’ll regret this - and by that i mean, well done!!

[yourplayersaidwhat]

““I don’t make the rules, I just make the rules.””

— our DM

[dungeons-and-dergens]

“I’m not gonna pimp my goat!”

-Our sorcerer who had a pet goat

[dungeons-and-dergens]

Breaking the 4th wall

Wizard (OOC): Can my character say random 4th wall breaking things and she doesn’t know why she says it?

DM (Me): Roll a d20

Wizard: HA! A 20!!!!

DM: your character is now cursed to randomly blurt out things you say out of character.

*later that session*

Wizard: GUYS!!! We’re not a high enough level to go face those bandits!!!

Rouge: what’s a level

Wizard: I don’t know?!

[dungeons-and-dergens]

DM: Alright, I'm feeling cruel. Scott, roll a d8.

Me: Why are you like this

[dungeons-and-dergens]

DM Confessions

The most uncomfortable thing I’ve had to do as a DM is roleplay a character whose flirting with my best friends character, a drunk that flirts with everybody.

I did my best to roleplay flirting but it was more entertaining for my players to watch me suffer in my awkwardness 😂