let's just get to the point.

it's a beautiful day outside. birds are singing, flowers are blooming... on days like these, kids like you... ...should be burning in hell. { semi-selective sans rp blog. }

[funkmasterpapyrus-blog]

I WOULD NEVER BULLY YOU!! THAT IS INCREDIBLY RUDE.

[dunkmastersans]

you do. you bully me. always. you hurt me, papyrus.

[funkmasterpapyrus-blog]

IT’S NOT LYING! IT’S CALLED, A “STRATEGIC PLAN”!

[dunkmastersans]

it’s called bullying, papyrus.

[funkmasterpapyrus-blog]

SEEMS LIKE SANS! HAS!

MADE A COMPLETE AND UTTER FOOL OF HIMSELF!!

[dunkmastersans]

lying isn’t nice and you are a liar

[funkmasterpapyrus-blog]

WHOOPSIE DOOPSIES!! 

[dunkmastersans]

i love to bully and be trash

[dunkmastersans]

i’m only here to defend myself because i know pap’s 10 seconds from yelling at me

[dunkmastersans]

no he’s lying

he’s lying

[dunkmastersans]

guess who

[funkmasterpapyrus-blog]

sex battle. right here. right now

@dunkmastersans (via funkmasterpapyrus)

[funkmasterpapyrus-blog]

Keep reading

[exblaspheminganonvictoria-deact]

okay sure bud but that just means im perfect and taller than you

[dunkmastersans]

it means your perfection is diluted, mostly

[exblaspheminganonvictoria-deact]

lmao

[dunkmastersans]

things only grow until they’re perfect

[funkmasterpapyrus-blog]

SLEEPING IN YOUR NOT-BEDROOM ISN’T GOING TO HELP THAT, SANS! 

[ papyrus isn’t interested in realising that sans is lying; sans couldn’t have been sleeping if he’d only just walked into the house. of course, there’s no possible method of papyrus actually bringing this up in conversation even if he did realise it - he was sleeping the whole time. he wouldn’t have any proof. ]

YOU’VE BEEN HAVING NOTHING BUT BAD DREAMS RECENTLY! I ASSUME. YOU’RE ALWAYS SHAMBLING AROUND LIKE THIS AT NIGHT!! DON’T THINK I DON’T NOTICE BECAUSE I DO!! I NOTICE!!

[ he wants to ask if there’s more to it, and if the dreams are going to affect sans’ work, but papyrus is far more concerned about comforting his brother.

instead, he just lets sans pull him into the embrace. papyrus doesn’t react immediately; it’s half due to still not being entirely sure what exactly is bothering sans, and half sheer tiredness. he knows sans really only hugs him like this - with few words, even fewer jokes, just uneasy silence - when there’s more to it. and it’s so, so tempting to just tell sans everything’s going to be okay, no matter what the issue is. to just pat him on the back and say, “there, there, it’s not your fault.”

papyrus wraps his arms around sans in an attempt to comfort him. it’s not a hug; more of the awkward “hug” you’d give to your cousins at a family reunion who you don’t really remember. ]

…BUT WORRY NOT, DEAREST BROTHER! FOR I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL DEFEND YOU FROM THESE MENACING DREAMS! THEY BEAR NO PHYSICAL FORM, THEREFORE THEY CANNOT HURT YOU AND THEREFORE I AM ALREADY A WINNER!

[ he smiles as he relaxes into the embrace, bringing a hand to the back of sans’ skull. papyrus just intends to pat sans’ skull gently, reassuringly, but his hand just lingers, fingers curling in a desperate attempt to keep sans from falling over. ]

[dunkmastersans]

{ sans pauses for a moment, pulling his head away from papyrus so that he can look up. the movement makes his brother’s hand feel mor epresent on the back of his skull and it’s welcome. he tries for a smile, but his mind goes for a grimace so he stops. }

...heh. you got me. but...

...pap...it’s alright. i know you’re here now, y’know? that’s all i needed.

{ a small laugh - sans forces it, no matter how it makes pain curl in his chest. it’s a weird feeling; having such abject grief grind to a halt like this, ending so abruptly that it leads him to question whether he ever really felt it at all. sans doesn’t think it’s a relief, not 100%. it’s a miracle that papyrus is here and sans doesn’t think he’s ever going to understand why this is happening, but he would have liked it to be more gentle. maybe if he’d fallen asleep, woken up to papyrus’ voice like he usually did - papyrus calling him lazy, telling him to get up and face the day and do his job for once. that would have been nice. }

you’re tired. you can go back to sleep. m’sorry, bro.

didn’t mean to wake you. 

{ and with that he’s hidden again, hugging papyrus tightly as if he’s afraid to let go. he kind of is. last time he let papyrus go off on his own he died. but sans doesn’t want to get too clingy - when that happens, when he sticks around papyrus for too long and stays too close it’s clearer than usual that something’s up. }

{ so he lets go. wipes a sleeve across his cheekbones and gives papyrus his bravest smile. }

[exblaspheminganonvictoria-deact]

oh no. please don’t. punch my ankle. that might really hurt.

[dunkmastersans]

-M-

[exblaspheminganonvictoria-deact]

can you even reach my ass?

[dunkmastersans]

that is it

[exblaspheminganonvictoria-deact]

y’know what i pick a lot of fights but if i ever actually tried to fight one of you lot ur probably either 6′10″ and could beat me with one fist or ur 4′5″ and i’d just be cracking a lot of jokes about how much taller i am than you because i am an asshole

[dunkmastersans]

ud get ur ass kicked bc you’re be too busy joking

[dunkmastersans]

let the brokenness be felt 'til you reach the other side.

[lastdreemurr-blog]

[ chara is curled up in a tight ball, blanket and messy, tangled hair obscuring most of their face. they don’t like this. sitting here, on the sofa next to someone who could slam them into a wall and kill them before they could even react. they don’t have the LOVE or EXP to take more than one or two hits from sans at this point. ]

[ maybe they never will again. ]

[ for a while, chara just focuses on their breathing. not feeling safe isn’t anything new, isn’t exclusive to this night or this timeline or even the underground. but having to admit weakness, having to allow sans of all people to see the cracks in their emotionless facade - ]

[ - they’re not so sure about it yet. ]

… s-s-sometimes. [ chara tries very hard not to let their voice crack. they’re the villain here, and they know it. ] ‘s not - doesn’t m-matter.

[dunkmastersans]

{ not that he’d ever hurt them. not without good reason. and even then he’d hesitate to kill them because after that all they’d be doing would be fighting back. they’d load and load and get tangled back up in that loop and sans knew it always ended in him eventually being defeated, and him waking up in a new life. }

{ by no means does he want to start that again. even if chara does something, something bad - he won’t lash out. he’ll hold it in. he’ll just stand and watch and he’ll feel terrible for it but at least he won’t be giving them any satisfaction this time around. }

...’course it matters.

{ sans stumbles over a shaky breath and turns to face them properly, relaxing a little in his seat - though one hand still digs into the sofa’s arm. }

you can talk about it if you want. don’t have to, though.