age gaps are actually not a problem in themselves (as long as both participants are adults blah blah you know the drill). the potentially harmful dynamics between two partners with a big age difference arise from other factors that are associated with age. more wealth. more stable life situation. a big gap in relationship/dating experience. this is of course worsened if you add gender and/or racial dynamics to it. age in itself doesn't create this imbalance, we just exist in a system where older people are more likely to have other forms of privilege over their younger partner.
if you're both 30 but one of you has a job and owns the apartment in which you both live, that is a lot riskier than if you're 20 and 40 but both have independent income and housing. ya know?
