Shit My Theater Professor Said (Part One):
"I'll say Macbeth on stage 50 times, I don't give a shit."
"Did you really watch it expecting deep, emotional shit?"
"Because you will be killed."
"I don't listen to opera in my spare time."
"I don't know that show."
"I think I met Naked Dave once."
"They're gods and they can do that."
"You badmouthed me so now you're dead."
"He tortured people, he lost his right to sleep."
"Fuck it, we do what we want."
"This is Ophelia, right? It is now."
"Basically as an individual I just wanna punch people."
"There is a Spiderman musical. It's awful."
"The kid had sex with a pie."
"That one doesn't count."
"I don't know what the fuck those are."
"You wanna get home but you can't. And apparently you aren't wearing shoes."
"No one gets my shitty references, so I'll stop. Dicks."
"South Park is just South Park."
"I won't leave this up because people will giggle."
"This is where our $9 million can go."
"We're at a university. Kind of."
"That's super fucked up."
"Everything after here gets pretty depressing."
"Shit exploded—sweet—awesome!"
"There doesn't have to be mass death."
"We'll do a little bit of this and then we'll go away."
"I don't watch a lot of depressing shit."
"Normally there's more giggling when I say that."
"I don't know how I'm doing that, but we're doing it."
"I don't care—read it. I don't have to read it."
"Oh the LARPers are out."
"It's just snow, deal with it."
"Domestic violence is not comedy."
"You're not gonna send Jesus out in a cast."
"That's why he creates blah blah blah."
"Everyone gets married and lives happily ever after."
"Syfy-something-something."
"It's just a guy in a hat who looks like Lincoln."
"I'll remind myself. So I remember."
"The book just starts trashing everybody."
"Not everybody agrees that Naked Dave is perfect."
"I don't think it's a good musical."
"You don't sleep if you're saving the world."
"This has nothing to do with marijuana."
"Well did you find five dollars?"
"Or a lego. Those are the worst."
"The French like making fun of the Spanish. Apparently."
"I'm trying to think of a reference."
"If that ever happens, don't fucking leave."
"Not everybody back in the day looked like that."
"Does anyone watch it just because they wanna see Luke and Leia make out?"
"The way they do it with puppets on stage is kind of mindblowing."
"You can't see unless you set something on fire."
"You work in a hospital, for God sake."
"It's slowly becoming my castle."
"I just started watching it, don't spoil it."
"That was after my time."
"Hopefully no one gets shot."
"I'm not ready for that level of commitment."