I have to trust that I am getting where I am going even if it's slowly and not on the timeline I imagined - real life is better and more interesting than that

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@dustyrosemartini
I have to trust that I am getting where I am going even if it's slowly and not on the timeline I imagined - real life is better and more interesting than that
sometimes i feel so unlike myself for so long it feels like there isn't a self to return to
the thing about having hope is that it is so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so difficult. but you have to do it anyway
i hope you buy things that bring you joy. i hope you wear clothes that make you feel good. i hope you decorate your home however you like. i hope you don’t wake up dreading going to work. i hope you meet people that make your heart sing. i hope you discover hobbies that fulfill you. i hope you go on fantastic adventures that give you unforgettable memories. i hope you do things just because you want to, and i hope you don’t feel like you have to justify your decisions to anybody. i hope you find happiness. i hope you cultivate a life you love.
sometimes I have brief moments of clarity like oh yes. love and joy should be guiding me and it will all work out. documenting so i remember to express this
Its okay if you're not who you thought you would be, take all the time to grieve the person you tried so hard to become when you wanted to better yourself and learn from your past mistakes. But its also okay to just love the person you are now and learn to get to know that person better. There is no shame in being who you are, even if you still have a lot to learn. You don't always have to upgrade yourself, sometimes there is peace in appreciating who you are and what you have right now.
Leave space for your emotions. If you feel something, validate it. Do not repress it, do not criticize it, do not judge it. Emotions are not meant to be logical, they are not meant to make sense. They are just meant to be.
marker sketches from my diary
Sometimes it takes courage to open up to kindness
ultimately, healing is work, and healing is not easy and, most importantly, healing is forever worth it
what are your twenties if not an endless string of the ghosts of who you thought you would become
Hear me out: you need to love yourself. Take yourself on dates, make yourself feel loved, write down what you like about yourself, make sure you look after your body and mind.
And if you can't love yourself, just try to be friendly to yourself. Treat yourself like a stray dog. Give it water, food, shelter, comfy blankets, reassure it here and there when they're afraid, and nurture the relationship. When you have become good friends, invite it to come live with you and start to build something bigger. You're not on this earth to hate the only person that will stay along the way.
Improving Self Esteem
1. It starts with a decision to be your own person. Don’t live your life to please, or to impress, someone else.
2. Try and grasp the fact we’re different and have different goals and values … And don’t be swayed by other people who criticise your dreams.
3. Don’t compare your path or journey to someone else’s journey as we start from different places and face different challenges.
4. Be kind, understanding and patient with yourself. Accept that failures and mistakes are part of everybody’s life. Also, choose to frame mistakes as learning opportunities.
5. You need to root for yourself, and seek to be your own best friend. Don’t denigrate yourself – in public, or when you’re alone.
6. Remind yourself a weakness can become a strength, in time. It takes patience effort – but, eventually, things change!
7. Make a list of what you’re good at, and keep adding to the list. Also, note the strengths that others see, and comment on, as well.
8. Treat yourself with respect and praise the things that you do well. Don’t write them off as “nothing”, or as being “no big deal”.
9. Find ways to dissipate and channel negative emotions. Don’t allow them to dictate the way you start to see yourself.
10. Spend time with those who like you, and can see your worth and value … And, ignore those who attack you, and would like to see you fail.
11. Choose to stand up for yourself, and value being more assertive. Also, decide to start to set and then enforce appropriate, healthy boundaries.
12. Admit your mistakes - then learn to laugh at yourself. It helps remove the pressure and the stress of “being perfect”!
"If I can't do X then I don't deserve to do Y" is a mindset we need to kill. Otherwise mentally ill and disabled people will continue to punish themselves for struggles outside their control. You deserve to have fun playing your favorite video game even if you are unable to go to work. You deserve to enjoy watching your favorite show even if you couldn't do homework first. You deserve a piece of pie even if you didn't go to the gym. Actually, you deserve to have as much fun as you possibly can even if you can't work or study at all! And especially if you're disabled mentally or physically, you gotta actively challenge this idea that joy, fun, rest and relaxation is something you have to earn. Don't deny yourself harmless joy just because you can't always live up to society's demands and expectations.
I am a mosaic of everyone I have ever known and loved and touched and I find fragments of them in my playlists and how I make my tea. we may not know each other any more but we will stay connected like this. I hope a fragment of me is with you too.