I under estimated how many people would want to know my story, well here is a shortened version of it. I hope you enjoy it and I hope there’s no autocorrect issues (typed this on my phone)
I have always been confident with women and very lucky when trying to hit on women, I am tall, strong looking, dark hair and crystal blue eyes, many women have told me I am handsome and also been told I am hung (around 7.5 inches) I don’t find this an accomplishment, I was just lucky with how I’ve grown up. I describe myself because this is why the above still means you can be a beta, enjoy interracial and embrace your deeper desire and it isn’t exclusive to virgins, betas or small dicked guys.
Well it all started when I just got out of a relationship of 2 years, it was a bad break up really, there was no cheating but we grew apart and neither of us reacted well. I had planned to go away with her for the weekend but we broke up and I went home instead. I shared the house with a girl at the time since I was in between buying and selling my house.
When I got back she was crying and it sounded bad, sounded like something really had happened and she was in terrible pain over it. We had become good friends and close so I rushed to see if she was ok. I rushed to see if she was OK, opened the door and she was crying alright but crying on her new black bfs cock……I froze in shock, felt like an hour, truly I felt like I stood there for hours, I couldn’t believe my eyes but in reality it could only have been a second. I closed the door went to my room and listened to music to drown it all out not knowing the seed that had been planted and the image in my mind forever.
Well I was feeling hurt and vulnerable during this time so I wasn’t up for hitting on women, I just didn’t want to do it. Instead for weeks my house mate and her black bf would fuck over and over and over. Almost nightly…..eventually I’d get horny and I would watch porn, any porn really just anything to jerk off to, to relieve myself of this growing frustration. Interracial was hitting the pornhub front page and I really don’t know if it had always been there and I never noticed or if it was a new trend. This was my sex life for now.
It started to get to me though, slowly overtime. Watching interracial while the cute girl next to me was riding her black bf and moaning louder than the girls in the porn was my first submissive experience, I would never have admitted it before but now I can, I was feeling submissive and I liked it, no, I loved it.
I was hearing her crying for black cock most nights a week while I watched interracial porn, it planted the seeds of this fetish. Eventually I WANTED to hear it, I’d even feel aroused the second he came over. Even though after I felt guilty and disgusted with myself……. This is something I hope you readers take to heart, I truly hated myself for feeling weak, submissive and loving what I was loving but you don’t need to, you’re only torturing yourself. I struggled with this for such a long time and it’s been only recently I’ve stared to truly accept it. The reason you say you’ll never do it again and then no doubt do it again the same day is because in a way, doing it makes you happy and feel fulfilled! You can argue and say it makes you less manly but the reality is; just because you have this need doesn’t stop you being you. You’ll always be you, just accept there is more to yourself than you first thought.
After a month and a bit I decided it’s time to man up! I went out got drunk, pulled a girl and fucked her in my bed, I’ve still got it! Well the sex was pretty bad sex, thanks to whiskey dick I sure. I wasn’t fulfilled and in truth I doubt she was, eventually we slept though. Later on I got woken up by her grinding her pussy over my lap while I slept and moaning like a porn star, odd, sexy but odd, I was waking up to this and had no idea what was going on. After becoming more alert I noticed even though she was grinding it was my house mate moaning, her bf was fucking her again for the god knows what time, the girl in my bed must have heard it, woke up and got turned on and needy. We fucked again and it was AMAZING, she was like an animal. Truly this was maybe the best sex of my life, neither of us spoke about the sex next door but we couldn’t stop, couldn’t control ourselves. I came to accept we only had great sex because of the girls black bf turning her on with their sounds with his stamina and his ability to do what I can’t. I spent many an evening enjoying myself to that memory.
Eventually I watched more and more interracial porn, started loving them fucking. I would go Anon into chat rooms and talk about it, cum, feel guilty and declare NEVER AGAIN…..until the next time. I struggled for quite some time now with it, hating it, hating black men or myself for it. This is now me trying to deal and live with it, to accept it.
Please guys and girls don’t make yourself unhappy, don’t blame the world there are lovely great people out there who are the same as you and will support you. I thought this was stupid because I’m attractive or hung or because I’ve always been dominant, that doesn’t stop. I still get hit on by girls and I still get asked out. I’d dominate a cute sub but truth is I’d rather spend my time with a snowbunny that understands this side of me, by accepting your interracial love you’re not cutting off and discarding those sides of yourself, you’re only adding to them! I am happier by far now than when I was torturing myself. At the very least, try and accept it, even for just a week. Feel the difference. Be happy and share your story.
The above is a true story about what I went through and I truly hope it will help some, excite others and support all. If you want to message me or ask questions please feel free and please share this story.
