wtf @dutchinsanity - Tumblr Blog

meechonmarss

Adam & Eve

randan-a

That very faint “Why’re you still eating the apple?” 💀

nefertiti-bangz-deactivated2018

“It’s the first thing on the syllabus” 🙃

thefourtwentytimes

if you have not watched this you need to because this is the explanation for all the fuckery going on today 100% And it is funny funny funny

demico-art

Here’s my little story about Connor learning what real friendship means, inspired by Bryan Dechart’s Q&A. I added my own twist to it though :)

cartiercocaine-blog

wнαт тнe ғυcĸ ιѕ тнιѕ?

dont-touch-my-fandoms

Elmo’s voice saying “I’ll fuck u up” is the best and worst thing ever

blocboybucciarati

YO I SWEAR THIS SHIT IS TOO FUNNY😭🤣

gothyeehaw

if you’re going to be mean to frogs log off

cresseliastim

✨🎨 watercolour tray dump —> https://instagram.com/p/BheL-gFHT4a/ 🎨✨

borealing

Men like to believe theyd be great in apocalypse scenarios but they dont even know how to sew

madgastronomer

Some male friends of mine were once talking about how useful they’d be in an apocalypse, and I pointed out that as a weaver and sewer and maker of stuff, I’d be pretty damn useful and they tried to tell me they could just loot clothes from WalMart and they’d be fine. As if WalMart has endless supplies without weekly deliveries.

alls-well-that-ends-weird

So just last night a friend of mine was talking about who he’d round up in the event of a zombie apocalypse and how I’m his go-to farmer on account of I know how to keep an entire homestead up and running and we’re talking about what kind of resources I’d need to keep a colony of about 50-ish people alive and i bring up what all goes into processing wool for clothing and such and he just kind of stops me like ‘wait, wait, we don’t need to do all of that because we can scavenge for clothes we don’t need to be able to make them’ and i’m just like, ‘dude, that works in the short-term maybe but if this community is going to be sustainable you’ve gotta have people whose job it is to make clothes and blankets and shit’

also cloth rots pretty quickly when left exposed to the elements and after the first few years or so anything we manage to scavenge isn’t going to be wearable anymore and anywho we’ve got to teach the kids everything or they’re not gonna know what to do some decades down the line when everything’s too rusted or rotted out to be of any practical use anymore, etc etc, and he’s reckoning that things like woodworking and smithing and ranching are more important than say, cleaning or cooking or dairying and meanwhile i’m just smh may all the gods have mercy on this poor fool

He also balked when i brought up how to run a laundry and what all was needed to make everyday shit like soap and toothpaste - like dude, you think this is going to be all about hunting and scavenging and being neato manly-man drifters like in the walking dead let me teach you a thing about keeping a village alive and healthy for more than a week man most of it is shit you keep thinking is non-essential on account of it being “women’s work” or “simple chores” that’re actually pretty labor-intensive and take time, training, knowledge, and practice to do successfully, let alone well, and are 100% absolutely necessary work in order for you to have any reasonably good quality of life after the world ends

lierdumoa

I’m reminded of this post I read a while back about some guy who thought his underwear lasted years because his wife would periodically replace his boxers and socks with identical boxers and socks when they started to look old and he just … never noticed.

stimman3000

.

albertserra

honestly nothing for me will top the energy of BTS photos/videos of horror movie monsters/demons/creatures/etc in full makeup just hanging out… like

energy….

moteloleander

medusabraids

vonisv

thetomska

queerbeerz

I am screAMING

otakusapien

vampires being the lactose intolerants of the monster world

“Yes I’m violently allergic to garlic but what’s the point of unliving without Italian food?”

“I know silver is bad for me but this necklace was SO cute and it was on sale”

“Technically sunlight burns my skin but with enough layers and aloe lotion-”

tedkordisanasshole

#‘i don’t care how many holy symbols were at the met gala anne hathaway was supposed to be there and i haven’t seen her in 250 years

1stfrom92

“One dollar to save a child”

sultryxfay

Where is this from

revgoodi

Key&Peele was so underrated man

kirschade

Peter, v-logging with his phone camera: Hi I’m Spi- I mean, Peter Parker, and today we’re going to witness firsthand people’s reactions after they’re told they have big dick energy. Let’s go!

Peter: What’s up, Thor. Dude, I just wanted you to know that you radiate big dick energy today.

Thor: God of thunder in the streets, god of big dick in the sheets, I suppose.

Peter, checking to see if he’s still recording then proceeding to give a thumbs up: I stan so hard. Legends only.

Peter, bumping into Steve reading the paper: Cap! Ah, have a moment? Word on the street is that you have big dick energy. Thoughts?

Steve, choking on his coffee: I-I guess the serum did have… its effects…

Peter: Oh my god.

Peter, finding Bucky watering flowers: Hey, man. Love what you did with your hair today, may I enlighten you on the fact that you have, putting it modestly, very big dick energy?

Bucky, looking into the camera like he’s on the office: …Parker what the hell.

Peter, breaking into the sanctum: Wow doctor, looks like you got a super serious case of chronic big dick energy there.

Strange: Listen. There’s kinetic, potential, thermal, chemical, electrical, even the vague concept of dark energy. But there is no big dick or whatever you just—

Peter: You’re no fun.

Peter, after buying a plane ticket and flying to Wakanda unsupervised: As king and black panther, your highness, your reign is supreme and so is your big dick energy.

T'challa, amidst a breakdown: Noo!!! Stop!! You and Shuri, I am begging you, please, I have no idea what that means!!!!

Peter, approaching Tony relaxing on a lounge chair: Now for The Man. The one and only, genius billionaire playboy philanthropist. Mr. Stark, are you aware you have big dick energy?

Tony, lowering his shades: Kid, I invented big dick energy.

Peter, tearing up: I know.