trash queen #?

going to hell but worth it uvu talk to me about Orange Chicken, Alien Unicorns, and boats (OCs, AUs, and ships) I'm on mobile plz forgive me

[thebestoftumbling]

[opalescentmist-deactivated20170]

Y'all I’m in love

[opalescentmist-deactivated20170]

With myself

[acoolsuggestion]

boy: *is literally 1 year younger than me* boy: *hits on me* me: thanks…… but…. no thanks…. i’m old enough to be your mother……..

[causticcorvid-deactivated202011]

Reblog if you would trust your partner if they were poly

I got this anon message that made me want to fuckin uhh

Anyway yeah

[shittyidea]

An alarm clock that stabs you in the throat if you press snooze

[hungwy]

Real life isn’t like anime at all. Who the hell eats breakfast

[michaelmilkers]

there are only two genders

skate or die you have to pick one

[furbearingbrick]

FUCK YOU

[kyleehenke]

an ex art student’s lament

[kimpossibooty]

[frozen-felix]

[writing-prompt-s]

The zombie apocalypse hits, and as it turns out, people with different blood types are affected differently.

[dux-sinum-blog]

me: I'm going to bed early tonight.

me:

me: is that the sun

[just-shower-thoughts]

Harry Potter is a rich orphan who grows up to fight crime. Harry Potter is magical Batman.

[black-to-the-bones-deactivated2]

This is a tragedy. Wiped out by hate.

Just want to say their names again:

Richard Collins III 

Taliesin Myrddin Namkai-Meche 

Rick Best 

 Thank you for standing up for all of us. 

[corgiwitch-deactivated20180829]

Sharing this every time I see it on my dash, idc it doesnt fit my aesthetic they need to be remembered.

[dreamlightasafeather]

IF YOU NEED TO CALL 911 BUT ARE SCARED TO BECAUSE OF SOMEONE IN THE ROOM, dial and ask for a pepperoni pizza. They will ask if you know you’re calling 911. Say yes, and continue pretending you’re making an order. They’ll ask if there’s someone in the room.

You can ask how long it will take for the pizza to get to you, and they will tell you how far away a dispatcher is.

Here is an example video

[t-pose-to-assert-gayness]

Reblog to literally save a life

[anotherdayforchaosfay]

I’ve done this.  I’m alive because of this. 

My flat-mate’s date for the night was almost as drunk as her.  She had passed out in her room and locked the door.  He refused to leave because he wanted to have sex.  He also demanded food because he was dealing with “whiskey dick”.  He didn’t like the lack of food in the fridge.  I called 911, did the stuff stated above, and he was getting PISSED about how long the “order” was taking.  He took my phone, demanded they “hurry the fuck up”.  Police arrived two minutes later, arrested him, and helped me file a police report.  Pressing charges wasn’t necessary because he had warrants on him from THREE different states for the very thing he planned to do to me.  Several months after this happened one of the officers informed me he was charged with two felonies because he crossed stay lines, and will be serving no less than 35 years in prison.  The officer ripped into my flat-mate about her bringing home complete strangers, while drunk, knowing full well this shit could happen. 

This was 14 years ago.  

Do the pizza order, do it as calmly as you can.  The dispatcher I spoke to said things like this:

“If he’s drunk say you want mushrooms.”  I said I want extra mushrooms.

“If he’s threatening you with sexual assault say you want onions.”  I said I want onions.

She went like this with different toppings and sauces for a description of him, like pineapple if he’s blonde, black olives if he’s tall, extra large if he’s tall, etc.

They’ve heard this sort of coded call before.  They’re trained for it.  They will understand what you’re saying.  Order the pizza.

[ash-castle]

‘The old gods are dead’ they tell you. You smile and nod and wipe out another glass. Your eyes dart to the old man in the corner booth. You never see him come, but you always see him leave. Each night a new young lover on his arm. You pretend not to see his wife watching with jealousy blazing in her eyes and peacock feathers printed on her dress. Her sharpened nails tap, tap, tapping a beat you can hear over the din. ‘If they were still around, where are they?’ They continue with a wild wave of their arm. The man next to them looks up and grins and raises his glass at you in a toast and buys them another round. It’s only after he’s turned away you realize his teeth were too sharp and that the glint in his eye was something more than delight. On the stage a young man sings. He’s there every night with his golden guitar and his golden skin and his golden hair. He sings of love and loss and boys who fly too high, only to fall. You know the song, he plays it almost every night. His sister stands in the corner, watching, on edge. You keep half an eye on her. She seems constantly in motion yet when you focus, she is still. Last week she broke a man’s arm. You never saw her move. ‘The old gods are dead.’ They say with finality. You look around the room and meet old and tired eyes in hungry faces. ‘Maybe,’ you begin and pause as the room seems to go quiet, holding its breath. ‘Maybe you aren’t looking hard enough.’ -gods never die

[dux-sinum-blog]

Aaaaaa

I can't sleep. Anyone wanna kill time