Two Winged Idiot

I'm Dwiref and my name means 'two wings'.

[chants-de-lune]

Millennials watching Gen Z organizing huge rallies and standing up to zero-action politicians 

[sheikhzahir-deactivated20160528]

View this post on Instagram

The world @ America.

[backtoabnormal-deactivated20180]

So many things kill me in this video:

1. How she just tappin random buttons in the beginning

2. How she says “I am confusion”

3. The way she says “explain”

[polyglotfrog]

I thought I’d lost this forever. I will forever reblog.

[thejusticethatissocial]

on one hand this is hysterically funny, but on the other someone’s gonna get lit on fire or blown up at this rate lmao

[f1rstperson]

This is… not that hard….

[goldntrinity]

It happened

[lord-blongus]

Natural Selection

[dwiref]

God damn it Oregon.

[dwiref]

If humanity ever has to choose between saving itself or dogs, they better choose the dogs.

[thenatsdorf]

“I will protect this kitten.”

[dwiref]

@motherofdrongos

[cutepetclub]

From @veggiedayz: “Blackberry has a song he wants to sing for you.” #cutepetclub [source: http://ift.tt/28SdMmN ]

[buyakasha]

*tiny mew* *BIG MEOOOOOOOOOOOOW* *tiny mew*

[garpusstuff]

Aww. He’s got lots to say. :)

[americanninjax-deactivated20191]

Let me sing you the song of my people.

[smellestine]

omggg

[technitaur]

he sounds exactly like the ‘33 screaming frogs’ video

[dwiref]

@motherofdrongos

[dwiref]

Psychic buying clothes

Employee: How about this one?

Psychic: That shirt is too small

Employee: You didn't even try it on

Psychic: I'm a medium

[housecatincarnate]

[musicalmelody22]

Fun Story: My director kept telling me and my tenor sax buddy to play softer. No matter what we did, it wasn’t soft enough for him. So getting frustrated, I told my buddy “Dont play this time. Just fake it” 

Our Band Director then informed us we sounded perfect. 

[fororchestra]

To my readers: “p” means quiet, “pp” means really quiet. I’ve never seen “pppp” before haha.

On the contrast, “f” means loud, and “ffff” probably means so loud you go unconscious.

[corruptbucky]

I had ffff in a piece once and my conductor told me to play as loudly as physically possible without falling off my chair…

[justtkeepcalmm-deactivated20250]

Me and my trombone buddies had “ffff” and he sat next to me and played so hard that he fell out of his chair.

The lengths we go for music.

[lady-gorthaur]

Okay yeah so I play the bass clarinet and the amount of air you have to move and the stiffness of the reed means it only has two settings and that is loud and louder, with an optional LOUDEST that includes a 50% probability of HORRIBLE CROAKING NOISE which is the bass equivalent of the ubiquitous clarinet shriek.

[elsajeni]

One day, when I was in concert band in high school, we got a new piece handed out for the first time, and there was a strange little commotion back in the tuba section — whispering, and pointing at something in the music, and swatting at each other’s hands all shhh don’t call attention to it. And although they did attract the attention of basically everyone else in the band, they managed to avoid being noticed by the band director, who gave us a few minutes to look over our parts and then said, “All right, let’s run through it up to section A.”

And here we are, cheerfully playing along, sounding reasonably competent — but everyone, when they have the attention to spare, is keeping an eye on the tuba players. They don’t come in for the first eight measures or so, and then when they do come in, what we see is:

[stifled giggling]

[reeeeeeally deep breath]

[COLOSSAL FOGHORN NOISE]

The entire band stops dead, in the cacophonous kind of way that a band stops when it hasn’t actually been cued to stop. The band director doesn’t even say anything, just looks straight back at the tubas and makes a helpless sort of why gesture.

In unison, the tuba players defend themselves: “THERE WERE FOUR F’S.”

FFFF is not really a rational dynamic marking for any instrument, but for the love of all that is holy why would you put it in a tuba part.

[minguskingus]

This is the best band post 

Everyone else go home

[oxboold-deactivated20180729]

Oh man, so I play trombone, and we got this piece called Florentiner Marsch by Julius Fucik, and we saw this

which is 8 fortes. We were shocked until,

that is 24 fortes who the fuck does that

[prokopetz]

Who does that?

This guy. Take a good look - that is the moustache of a man with nothing to lose.

[vivelafat]

Julius IdontgivaFucik

[septemberbells]

More like Julius Fuckit

[sushinfood]

Pyrozod’s tags for this were too hilarious not to share

[haha-leigh]

I haven’t been in band for years but this made me laugh so hard

[hisroyalnerd]

I haven’t seen this post in ages and I’m dying of laughter

[tobinlaughing]

I didn’t think it could get better after The Foghorn Tuba Story, but it did. It got better. Bless you, MusicTumblr.

[cumaeansibyl]

as far as I can translate it, the German notes at the octuple forte mean something roughly like “You want the instrument to cough… this is not for wimps”

this man was a menace

[it-was-justified-deactivated201]

Yeah I need to join another brass band

[kierongillen]

Getting Tuba feels.

[dwiref]

@stopoatmeal @motherofdrongos

[tastefullyoffensive]

[ashtoniousrex]

backstories to random gifs are my favorite thing and they need to continue

[spork]

my favorite part of this is that her saying “bloody typical” implies they’re in the UK and she’s sitting on the left which means that Mike is driving

[dwiref]

So relevant @motherofdrongos

[just-shower-thoughts]

I have never seen grape ice cream.

[loftyskies-deactivated20161129]

Actually, i know why this is:

Grapes contain a  a special molecule Anthocyanin that prevents freezing, so you’d keep ending up with grape milk. Many ice cream companies and manufacturers have made bold attempts at grape ice cream, hardly any of them successful.

But then, finally, those geniuses at Ben and Jerry’s did it. So why don’t we have grape ice cream?

Here’s the thing: Ben confessed in a People Magazine interview in 1984 that he had a huge crush on Becky and promised to create the flavor just for her. Knowing the history of grape ice cream, she coyly requested it, thinking it to be impossible. Ben began to include the grape skin and juice to better see the differences between batches. While he didn’t understand the science behind this at the time, he found that including the skins increased the levels of anthocyanin enough to make the ice cream freeze. “Becky was impressed,” he remarked, “We were at her house, alone. I gave her the scoop – on a cone. I was really getting somewhere. She was laughing and happy. She couldn’t believe I did it. I’ll never forget what happened next.”

“Becky jokingly gave her dog a lick from the cone. He liked it and took a couple of licks. Then he just gasped and dropped dead. He flipped down onto the floor and was just gone. I had no idea grapes are toxic to dogs. Specifically to the anthocyanin. Becky was devasted. I had invented a deadly dog poison, and I definitely wasn’t getting anywhere with her now.”

Yeah. 

tldr; The reason we don’t have grape ice cream is because Ben from Ben and Jerry’s killed Jerry’s hot sister’s dog with it.

[louisthesixteenth-moved-blog-de]

holy fuck

[dwiref]

Damn @motherofdrongos

[dwiref]

Friendship day, hah. Got whooped in ways more than one already.

[catboybruno-moved-deactivated20]

my dad works for the white house and he just told me that apparently the government banned kissanime on the white house wifi cause officials were watching it like, a noticeable amount

[catboybruno-moved-deactivated20]

wait, I just mentioned this to him again and he said “no, they didn’t block kissanime from the White House, they banned it from the entire Department of Defense”

[catboybruno-moved-deactivated20]

if it’s not too late, here’s a screenshot of the page that comes up when anyone on the DoD tries to get to kissanime

[dwiref]

...

[threebigolsausages-deactivated2]

me apologizing: .. – / … — .-. .-. -.–

them: whats that?

me: remorse code

them: im even angrier at u now

[dwiref]

@motherofdrongos

[theboywhoreadsbooks]

The term ‘bookworm’ may give you the wrong impression. If you interrupt me while reading, you will awake a slumbering dragon

[dwiref]

@motherofdrongos

The times are-a-changing. 

[moseby]

the best fruits are hardest to open

[trashboat]

this fucking bowling ball is gonna be delicious i know it

[motherofdrongos]

Yes.

[dwiref]

...No.

[dylans-obrien]

[motherofdrongos]

@dwiref Save yourself, nig. 

[dwiref]

If this does happen, look on the bright side. You’ll get free ice cream even when you don’t want it. And then I’ll lose that job too. 

[colourofoctober]

When you put your music on shuffle and the song you actually wanted to listen to comes on first…