the REAL dylen lutz

i will have a thigh gap by prom.

[dylen-from-improv-class]

YOU WON'T BE LAUGHING WHEN I'M ON SNL

I'm Dylen from improv class. I'm 1/28 First Nations and I've lived in Sherwood, Ohio my entire life, even if you people like to conveniently forget that. I may not be able to do a single pull-up, but I do still have feelings. I'm on a diet until prom, so don't ask me to eat anything, okay? If I do not have a thigh gap by then, I will kill myself.

ooc under the cut

Dylen Lutz is an 80s-fied Paramount Heathers character. He's an icon to us all. Here's what you need to know:

He desperately wants to be cool and get a hot, popular girlfriend.

He is a theatre kid. He specifically does improv comedy.

He has a huge, pathetic crush on Shelby Dunnstock.

He's friends with Driffany and others like her.

DIRECTORY

lutz posting is general, in-character Dylen posts. Some might be longer than others, but most will be short.

lutz speaks are for reblogs/interactions.

ripped are for asks, answered.

He's meant to be a funny character, so feel free to be funny with him.

[dylen-from-improv-class]

*even more crickets*

C'mon, man.

[fastlikealambo]

NOOOO I WAS SO EXCITED TO WATCH THIS AFTER WORK

[dylen-from-improv-class]

*crickets*

Yeah, sure. Bully the guy with no friends.

[dylen-from-improv-class]

YOOOO MY MAN!! Dylen (your names realllyuu werid dude)

I think I’m drwink im at a partr whyt di I dooo

-@professional-himbo

Oh, cool. Is that one of those parties no one tells me about?

[professional-himbo]

UM MAYBE-

I MEAN OFCOUSE NOT I told you about ittt

Wait no I didn’t

IM SORRY DONT CRY BUDDY

[dylen-from-improv-class]

It's okay, I'm used to it. The last time I went to a party, I had a huge sugar rush and licked a toilet seat so maybe it's for the best.

[professional-himbo]

yucky you know people sit on toilets right?

[dylen-from-improv-class]

It was a dare! I thought it would make the cool kids like me! Now I'm just toilet licker who got drunk off Mountain Dew forever....

[professional-himbo]

COME WITH ME TO THE NEXT ONE DUDE

how did you get drunk of fucking Mountain Dew though bossguy

[dylen-from-improv-class]

Uhh, okay? I guess.

[dylen-from-improv-class]

YOOOO MY MAN!! Dylen (your names realllyuu werid dude)

I think I’m drwink im at a partr whyt di I dooo

-@professional-himbo

Oh, cool. Is that one of those parties no one tells me about?

[professional-himbo]

UM MAYBE-

I MEAN OFCOUSE NOT I told you about ittt

Wait no I didn’t

IM SORRY DONT CRY BUDDY

[dylen-from-improv-class]

It's okay, I'm used to it. The last time I went to a party, I had a huge sugar rush and licked a toilet seat so maybe it's for the best.

[professional-himbo]

yucky you know people sit on toilets right?

[dylen-from-improv-class]

It was a dare! I thought it would make the cool kids like me! Now I'm just toilet licker who got drunk off Mountain Dew forever....

[dylen-from-improv-class]

YOOOO MY MAN!! Dylen (your names realllyuu werid dude)

I think I’m drwink im at a partr whyt di I dooo

-@professional-himbo

Oh, cool. Is that one of those parties no one tells me about?

[professional-himbo]

UM MAYBE-

I MEAN OFCOUSE NOT I told you about ittt

Wait no I didn’t

IM SORRY DONT CRY BUDDY

[dylen-from-improv-class]

It's okay, I'm used to it. The last time I went to a party, I had a huge sugar rush and licked a toilet seat so maybe it's for the best.

[dylen-from-improv-class]

YOOOO MY MAN!! Dylen (your names realllyuu werid dude)

I think I’m drwink im at a partr whyt di I dooo

-@professional-himbo

Oh, cool. Is that one of those parties no one tells me about?

[shelby-is-planning]

Hot debate I'm in, like, right now: is glitter a color?

I say totally, but Fleming disagrees. No wonder her husband left her.

[dylen-from-improv-class]

I agree with you, Shelby!

[dylen-from-improv-class]

are you still weird or are you done with that yet

Thanks, guys. You're really making me totally miss school over Christmas break.

[dylen-from-improv-class]

QUICK DO SOME IMPROV FOR US

On the computer?

[dylen-from-improv-class]

you should have your mom monitor this blog so she can shelter you from hate mail

My computer is at my dad's though and they only speak through me.

[dylen-from-improv-class]

Top 3 song reccomendations?

One More Try - George Michael

Red Red Wine - UB40

Don't Be Cruel - Cheap Trick

[dylen-from-improv-class]

have you ever read a book. ever.

Yeah, duh. I've read A Wizard of Earthsea and The Last Unicorn. And I read all the Stephen King books.

[dylen-from-improv-class]

you are ugly

Thanks, man.

[dylen-from-improv-class]

are you homophobic

No, I love gay people. That's why all of my friends are gay stoners. But that doesn't mean I'm also a gay stoner.

[dylen-from-improv-class]

What three movies describe your life?

Better Off Dead, Three O'Clock High, and License To Drive.