you didn't say goodbye

⋄ Marco ⋄ He/Him ⋄ Norway ⋄ queerness & literature

[petaltexturedskies]

Richard Siken, from "I had a dream about you" in Crush

[avonturx]

[astriloquum]

[letsbelonelytogetherr]

— Melissa Cox

[rodeoradio]

-Leslie Feinberg, from Trans Liberation Beyond Pink Or Blue

[aiizaph]

Being aroallo and lovequeer and yearning for a life partnership is an agonizing existence because like how do I explain to alloroses that I want a non-romantic, intimate, life partnership that has sex but no it’s not romance despite how much amatonormativity has taught you that such a relationship looks to be romantic at a surface level and also most aroallos only want fwbs and non-committal hookups and while I do nod my head and tip my hat in solidarity I can’t help but feel a sense of dread and loneliness that I’ll never be able to find someone who wants the same kind of relationship I do.

[dyptimarka]

I tried to call. I wonder what you're up to.

Do you think of me as often as I do you?

,,

It wasn't really anything special.

I know that.

Still I had hoped it was.

Maybe it was enough that I thought it to be.

Maybe in a sense it was both.

Radically mundane, and substantial at once.

,,

Do you think of me?

Not for the sake of pity

I suppose I mean to say,

Were you fond of me?

[dyptimarka]

Sometimes I look at the highway and want to cry. Each car contains a person, with their own lives, their own loves and heartbreaks. There's so many people, yet we're so far apart

[dyptimarka]

Do you understand the world as I do? Do you ache and hope as I do? I wonder why we'll never meet.

[mournfulroses]

Fyodor Dostoevsky, from a letter featured in "Letters of Fyodor Michailovitch Dostoevsky to his Family & Friends,"

[poppyseedxoxo]

[derangedrhythms]

Richard Siken, Crush; from ‘Planet of Love’

TEXT ID: because you want to die for love, you always have.

[featherspiral]

very thrilled that the 10th anniversary is 2 days away (i have nothing planned) but what do you mean this was an entire full calender year ago. freakish

never ever got over it btw this is so peak. so peak.

[inanotherunivrse]

in another universe, i existed loud enough for you to hear me

[morbiddd]

there is something so disheartening about being the youngest sibling. it’s being too serious and no one seeing it. it’s being full of unconditional love but it being an expectation. it’s being so grateful but never having said thank you though you know you did. it’s being a real human person but whiny and immature if you point it out. it’s having people who were present for your formative years and having none of them remember.

[dyptimarka]

Everyone is a loser and nobody is perfect. So I'll just be me, minding my own business and be as kind as I can be at the moment and have the capacity for.

Everyone sucks. Everyone is lovely. Everyone is somewhere

[dyptimarka]

There are different kinds of losers in the world. The best you can do is be a kind one.

[dyptimarka]

I suppose I grew tired of the narrative I was living in. Looking at it, it was rather simplistic. It wasn't anything grand that had happened that made me come to the realisation.

I suppose, what I mean, sometimes all you need to do is sit with something for a little. Ask yourself why you think that way. Other times. You just have a clearer picture when looking at the crowd from a distance.

I was thinking of why I felt I was inhuman in some shape or manner. Then asked myself what really did the others do that made me feel like they got it right? When I've clearly been hurt by them? And that's where I ended up. They weren't better at life than me. They simply followed a different structure, a structure more maintained and expected. They had their own blindspots and weaknesses that hurt me. And I thought; The biggest losers in my life has also been the kindest people I've ever met. So we all must be bumbling and falling through life. Independently and differently.

When I say "loser", I'm not writing it as an insult. Rather, I want to convey what our society label them as. Simply 'cause they don't behave or follow the status quo as expected. In my world, losers are the best of the best.

If being “perfect” means being numb, transactional, perfectly on-script, then I’d rather a beautifully-imperfect loser, a loser with compassion, awareness, and sincerity.

This mindset is probably nothing new either, I don't expect it to be. And I wouldn't want it to be. I know it isn't.

[guooey]

Hermann Hesse, Wandering: Notes and Sketches (1920)

[letsbelonelytogetherr]

— Jenny Slate, Little Weirds