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@e-isforfrance
Hiatus
Hi guys, I have to make an unfortunate announcement. This tumblr profile is going on a - hopefully short - hiatus. I am extremely busy at work and things arenât going great for me. I just donât have the time or inspiration to do replies at the moment. Iâll do my best to pick it up soon again. But at least now you know, in case you were wondering.
@etiennecombeferre @grantaire-r @a-littlelark @courfeyracapaladin @poetprouvxire @anabundanceofcourf
"I'm fine, R, honestly, stop worrying about me. It's just a simple stomach ache, nothing bad. I don't act like the world is about to end when you have a hangover, so stop it and don't give me that look!" Enjolras crossed his arms and looked at his boyfriend, challenging him to contradict. To be honest, he did feel under the weather, but not as bad as Grantaire thought it was. Right? Right.
Grantaire sighed. Enjolras looked pale and sweaty. âFine, but if youâre not better in a day or two, weâre going to the doctor. I donât want you getting worse on me.â he leaned over and kissed Enjolrasâ cheek. âIn the mean time, drink plenty of water.â Grantaire filled a large glass with ice and water. âThat could be why your stomach hurts. You need water.â
Enjolras was still shivering violently despite the sweater and his coat. He knew Grantaire had cracked the heat up, but somehow, he couldnât get warm. Which was odd, considering he was far too hot when he woke up in sweats earlier. He knew he had a fever, but he didnât understand why. Everything was going too fast and he felt confused.Â
ââS cold,â Enjolras whispered when Grantaire helped him out of the car and into the waiting room. âI-Iâm cold, RâŠâÂ
Grantaire checked Enjolras in and led him to a chair. He wrapped his arms around him tightly, trying to warm him up. âI know, Enj, I know. Here, snuggle in. Iâll keep you warm.â  He looked around, hoping theyâd call him back soon.
It was almost an hour before they were called back. Grantaire helped Enjolras up and led them back to the room, following the nurse. He filled the nurse in on Enjolrasâ health issues.Â
When Enjolrasâ name was called, theyâd been waiting for nearly an hour. Enjolras felt miserable and he was so tired. But at least cuddled up with Grantaire, he could find some warmth and safety. He hated to leave that, but he knew he had to if he wanted to see a doctor.
Once in the examination room, Enjolras answered all the questions honestly. They took his temperature and checked his other vitals. Then the doctor left, saying heâd be back soon. Enjolras sighed and sagged against Grantaire. âThis sucks, R,â he whispered. âJust wanna g-go back to bed with you.â
"I didn't mean to disappoint you." (Grantaire-R)
âYet you did,â Enjolras whispered, a sad look in his eyes. âYour bottle is more important than our date, I get that now.â
Enjolras nodded, though there was a nagging feeling in the pit of his stomach that told him it wasnât that easy. He knew how he could get when he got busy⊠when work and their causes took up most of his time. He wasnât easily willing to let it all go and put it aside for a night spending in bed. And he could think it would work now, but he knew that when that time came, itâd be a challenge for their relationship. âHow about we enjoy this moment a little longer and weâll get up to make dinner in an hour? Or are you hungry already?âÂ
Grantaire closed his eyes, keeping his hand moving up and down Enjolrasâ back. He wanted to enjoy the moment for as long as he could. He knew deep down that Enjolras would be consumed by work and that Grantaire would come second. But for now, he had Enjolras in his arms and they were relaxing. âEither one. What ever you want. We can stay here, or make food. Your call.â
Enjolras hesitated, his head was still resting against Grantaireâs chest and he could hear his boyfriendâs heartbeat loud and clear. It was a little faster than usual and Enjolras wondered if it was because Grantaire had worries for the future as well. That made him feel guilty, because he didnât want his boyfriend to be worried. âI want to stay for a bit. Feels too good to get up yet. Do you mind?â
From @e-isforfrance
Ferre was about to set Enjolras down when a panicked nurse ran in. âItâs Jehan.â She huffed. âCalling for someone called Grantaire, he doesnât stop- doesnât recognise ChettaâŠâ
The manâs face paled and he gently tugged Enjolras on the sleeve. âAre you alright with seeing him now, my dear?â He questioned Enjolras, hugging him close and trying to brush out his tousled curls with his fingers.
Enjolras felt his heart sink when the nurse ran in telling them that Jehan was screaming for Grantaire. He couldnât do this again. He couldnât go through all of this again. What if Jehan did not recognize him and kept asking for Grantaire. Enjolras couldnât give him Grantaire, no one could.
He looked up at Combeferre and swallowed nervously. His hands were already shaking and he was close to tears. At the same time though, he knew he needed to do this. He wasnât ready, but he had to be. âO-Okay...,â he whispered, hugging Combeferre back.
"They threw me out of the house," Enjolras admitted shamefully, tears shining in his eyes. He stood in front of Combeferre's doorstep, dripping from the rain and carried a small backpack with some stuff in it. "C-Can I stay with you?"
Combeferre was surprised, shocked even, to find Enjolras on the opposite side of his door, backpack slung over his shoulder and rain soaking his clothes and hair. âEnjâ Of course!â He pulled the door open, ushering him in and out of the cold. âMon dieuâ youâre soaked through!â
Combeferre nodded, âOf course I have.. you know I always loved working with you.â He squeezed his hand another little squeeze then, guiding Enjolras over to sit on a bench. âI know this years been awful, Enj.. but I promise you it will get better. Iâll make sure it does.â
âOf course I think about you, youâre still my best friend - and what kind of a friend would that make me if I didnât think about you even if you werenât around?â
Enjolras looked down at his feet, listening to his friend making promises and sacrifices all for him. He was touched, but also a little worried. It wasnât Combeferreâs task to fix him. âI think it will get better too,â he said quietly, staring at the Law building once more. âBut I have to do it myself⊠I need to stop being scared and ashamed of who I am. You canât do that for me⊠You can help though.âÂ
âI think about you too⊠All the time, you know? Whenever I feel bad, that makes me feel a little better. It always felt like you were still around, if I tried really hard.âÂ
Combeferre nodded, âIt will, I promise⊠and I know you have to do this for yourself too, but I will be here to support you.â He smiled, âAnd whenever you need me to tell you that you are wonderful just the way you are. I will always be there to do that⊠and if it ever gets bad.. know that you can call me. Yeah?â
He smiled a little, following Enjolrasâ gaze back to the law building. âI am still around, Enj. Maybe not there in class with you, but Iâm there - you can still call me or talk to me any time you need me.â
Enjolras blushed a little and ducked his head, smiling. âYou are always allowed to tell me that,â he mumbled shyly. âI might have trouble believing it, but itâs always nice if people tell you that.â He reached out his hand and took that of his best friend, squeezing it briefly. âAnd I hope you know how wonderful I think you are.âÂ
He sighed a little and continued walking, forcing his eyes away from the law building. âI know you are and I donât blame you for anything, you know? Itâs just⊠a lot harder. I know I can always call you and all, but last year you were just ⊠there⊠And because of that, people left me alone. You were a buffer of some sort and thatâs gone now.â
âI know you have trouble believing it from time, but thatâs why Iâm here, non? Everytime you need a little reminder of how brilliant you are, I will be here to let you know.ââ
âI know you donât blame me, but I get it. Itâs harder not to have someone around when previously they were.â He offered a little smile, âLook, cher, I know theyâre giving you a hard time, but I promise you can get through it - in a few months itâll all be behind you.â He gave his hands a little squeeze. âIf it gets bad though, I want you to tell me, okay? I might not be there, but Iâll be damned if I let people do this to you.â
Enjolras chuckled softly, but he felt a comfortable warmth spread throughout his chest. The fact that Combeferre wouldnât want anything to happen to him and was actually there to protect him whenever he needed it, was more than Enjolras could wish for. âThanks âFerre,â he said quietly, âAnd I guess they should all watch their backs if that happens. Iâve seen your wrath and I doubt they want to be confronted with it.âÂ
It was a joke of course, but Enjolras felt like lightening the mood a little. Sure, he was still feeling miserable, but he was with his friend now and he didnât want to make Combeferre feel miserable too.Â
âHey now, You know I would never let anyone do something to hurt you, and I still wonât.â He chuckled, âI promise, I will take care of if if anything happens.â
Combeferre was glad that Enjolras was trying to lighten the mood at least, though he could still see traces of sadness in his eyes even when he smiled.
They walked a little further and Enjolras made sure to look around. Inside though, he was thinking about a lot of things. About his past, about the future, about his parents. A lot had happened in just one year and sometimes it was hard to understand how fast things could change.Â
âHey, âFerre,â Enjolras said seriously, keeping his eyes forward instead of looking at his friend. âI love you for being around, you know that right? But... B-But youâll tell me when I do something wrong, right? Y-You know... when Iâm not acting like I should or... o-or when I do things that I shouldnât do... I mean, I know you want to protect me and make me feel s-safe... but I also n-need someone whoâs honest with me w-when Iâm handling things the wrong way. I know I donât always think before I a-act... and I just... I just need you to remind me of that once in a while.â
With a strength he didn't knew he possessed, Enjolras pushed himself up from the ground of his prison cell and followed the police officer out of the prison. His legs trembled and his back ached terribly from the multiple whippings he had suffered after his arrest. Once the piercing cold of the winter wind touched his skin, Enjolras looked up and felt an immense relief at seeing his best friend waiting for him.
Combeferre was worried of course, but he knew to keep his mouth shut at least until the were out. He held out a jacket to Enjolras, almost certain that his friend would be cold - he had packed it in advance, he was simply relieved that they had let him bail Enjolras out. âMon amiâŠ? Come, come with me.â As soon as he was released, Combeferre draped the clothing over his shoulders and offered physical support as he led him outside.
âI know it still feels weird, Enj, but youâre going to be fine.. itâs not been long at all and youâre already feeling a little better.. Right?â Combeferre offered a little smile. âAnd believe it or not, talking about it and accepting what happened will only help in the long run.â
Combeferre continued to eat his pasta. âYouâll let me know if thereâs anything more I can do to help, right? I do mean it, I want to help.â
âThatâs true,â Enjolras answered truthfully, swallowing a bite of pasta. âI feel better than I did yesterday⊠Both mentally and physically I guess⊠But I canât stop and think about it too much, because⊠b-because then Iâll panic.â Enjolras bit his lip and looked down at his plate. He tried his hardest to push all memories to the back of his mind. Only then did he feel like he could function again. âOf course Iâll let you know if thereâs anything you can doâŠâ Enjolras said quietly. âI love you for wanting to help⊠b-but I donât want you to put your life on hold for meâŠâ
He nodded in understanding, he didnât want to force Enjolras to talk and cause him to start panicking. âHey, donât worry about it, alright?â Combeferre looked up to meet his gaze. âWe donât have to talk about it right now, okay?â
âNonsense. Let me take care of you.â He murmured, âIâm not putting anything on hold, I just want to help - itâs my priority right now.â
Enjolras took a deep breath. He closed his eyes for a moment, forcing his rapid heartbeat to slow down so that the sudden ache in his chest lessened. Then he nodded and gave Combeferre a small smile. âAlright⊠Thank you⊠I want to talk about it.. j-just⊠Just not now.â Being Combeferreâs priorty was Enjolras greatest relief, but also his biggest guilt. He loved his friend for being there for him, couldnât be more grateful. But he was also ashamed that - no matter what his friend might say - he robbed Combeferre from his own life. âYouâre always taking care of me,â Enjolras mumbled, not knowing what else to say. âI just wish you wouldnât have to..â
âI know, Enj, and we donât have to talk about it right now⊠just whenever youâre ready. Yeah? We can do this when youâre feeling comfortable with talking about what happened.â
Combeferre shook his head, âDonât think that way, Enj. I want to take care of you, thereâs a difference between having to and wanting to⊠yes I feel a little responsibility to take care of you, especially at times like this when you need me, but I also want to. Please donât feel like Iâm forced to because given the choice I would always choose to be here for you.â
Enjolras nodded. Whenever he was ready. He could do that⊠He wasnât afraid of talking about it, especially not with Combeferre. But he didnât want to bring it all back up again. Not when he had the option to push it to the back of his mind. âAlright, Iâll do that⊠I promise,â Enjolras said softly, glancing up at his friend with a small smile.
Enjolrasâ smile grew wider when Combeferre told him he really wanted to take care of him. It wasnât a suprise, but it was nice to know nonetheless. âI know that, âFerre⊠But the same goes for me. I want to take care of you too⊠And I know itâs not healthy to put me in front of everything else in your life. So, Iâll just have to make sure that you wonât.â
Combeferre knew that it likely wasnât the idea of talking about it that was going to upset Enjolras, it would be the repercussions of such; having to almost relive the situation in memory in order to explain.
âHey, you know I can take care of myself too, but either way - weâll take care of eachother.â He smiled, giving the blondâs hand a little squeeze. âYou take care of me, and I will take care of you.â
âI know you can take care of yourself,â Enjolras replied softly, âBut I also know that you tend to forget yourself when youâre worrying about others. Weâre not that different, you and I⊠Itâs just that I forget basic things like eating or sleeping, but you forget other things like going on dates or watching that tv program you wanted to see.â Enjolras smiled, squeezing Combeferreâs hand in return. âBut I like the idea of us taking care of each other. Weâll look out for each other.. weâve always done that, haventâ we?â
He took another bite of the pasta and savored its taste before swallowing. He hadnât thought he could eat his whole plate, but he had no difficulty to be honest. âBy the way⊠this pasta is delicious âFerreâŠâ
âWell, weâll look out for each other. Just like we always have, hm? But you know that I do want to take care of you - and being able to do that does make me happy, more so than any tv show or anything of the sort.â He chuckled, taking another bite of his own plate of pasta.
âIâm glad you like it - and that your appetiteâs coming back, non? Itâd do you no good to stop eating.â
Enjolras laughed softly and shrugged his shoulder. He knew he meant more to Combeferre than any tv show or whatever. That was not entirely his point, but he was sure his friend knew what he was talking about and they were agreed on that point. Both of them would look out for each other. They were going to be okay.
At the question of his appetite, Enjolras nodded and ate the last bit of his pasta. âIt is. Itâs weird, I wasnât that hungry when you proposed to make something, but ever since I took that one bite, I was famished.â He chuckled. âWell not famished, but you know what I mean⊠Besides, itâs really good, so that helps.â
Combeferre smiled, âWell, Iâm glad either way.. youâve eaten something and whether you ate a lot or a little, itâs still something in your system.â He chuckled, âAnd the fact that you enjoyed it, even if you didnât really feel hungry before is a bonus, right?â
When they were finished, Combeferre took their plates so he could wash the dishes. âIs there anything you want to do in particular?â
Enjolras stood from the table and carried their water glasses to the sink. âIt is a bonus,â he agreed, smiling. âAnd it feels better not to walk around on an empty stomach too, I have to admit.â He watched his friend wash the dishes and thought about something to do. âI donât really know,â he said finally, eyes glancing to the clock in the kitchen. It was already quite late, but they had slept a lot in the afternoon. âIâm not that tired yet, but I donât really feel like watching TV or reading⊠Actually Iâd like to go outside for a bit, have some fresh air, you know? But I donât know if thatâs wise⊠What do you think?â
âIâm glad that youâre eating well at least, I mean I would make sure that you ate something, of course, but you managed a whole plate - thatâs good, considering you didnât feel like eating earlier. Non? He smiled, âItâll make you feel a lot better too, Iâm sure.â
Combeferre nodded, âMaybe we could go for a little walk? Just down the block to the gardens or something.. worst comes to worst we can just turn right around again and go home again.â
âIâm glad Iâm eating as well⊠Iâm a bit surprised that Iâm able to stomach it all since I hadnât really had anything for a week, but so far so good.â Enjolras smiled up at him. âAnd it does make me feel better, youâre right. I feel more awake⊠and maybe a little stronger too.âÂ
When Combeferre mentioned going to the gardens, Enjolras felt his heart lift a little. They hadnât been there in ages. âIâd like that a lot, actually. I want to go to the gardens, itâs been a while.â
Combeferre smiled at that, glad that Enjolras was actually benefiting physically as well as mentally from having something substantial to eat. âWell, Iâll be careful not to make things that would be too heavy for you for a little while, but youâre doing well.â
âShall we sit for a minute and let your body settle down? Then weâll go for a walk to the gardens.â Combeferre suggested, not wanting to push Enjolras too much physically.
âYeah, sure⊠maybe thatâs wise,â Enjolras replied, shuffling his way into the living room and sitting down on the sofa. It still bothered him that he couldnât just lean backwards and actually lounge in the couch, but he tried not to think about it too much. âI guess you know better than me what I can and can not do or when I need to take it easy. Youâve always done that, right.â Enjolras smiled.
He waited for Combeferre to come sit down next to him and then moved a little closer so that he could lean against his friend instead of the back of the couch.â
âRight.â He agreed with a chuckle. âHonest though, I will have you back on your feet in no time. You just need to be careful and give your body a chance to recover.â
When Enjolras came to lean on him, Combeferre carefully wrapped his arms around him. âThis okay?â
âI will, I promise,â Enjolras agreed. He knew it was no use to push himself now. âI know that if I donât Iâll be right back at the beginning and I donât want that. I want to get better âFerre and Iâll listen to your advice and try not to be stubborn about it.âÂ
He grinned a little and relaxed when Combeferre wrapped his arms around him, feeling safe and guarded. âThatâs perfectly okay..âÂ
A loud, regular beep and a tight grip on his hand woke Courfeyrac up from his sleep. Taking a second to take in his surroundings when he saw Enjolras at his side, gripping his hand, and seeingly crying. "Enjolras...?" He asked, voice hoarse. "What hap- oh..." (courfeyracapaladin)
Enjolras was angry, upset and scared at the same time. He couldnât get the image of his friend out of his head. His friend, crumpled on the floor in a pool of his own blood. Heâd called an ambulance, called Combeferre, called the Amis and now here they were. He couldnât remember how long heâd been at the hospital. Days and nights blurred into one. It mustâve been a couple of days at least. He hadnât stopped crying ever since.
When he felt the hand in his own move and heard Courfeyracâs raspy voice, Enjolrasâ heart jumped to his throat and he leaped up from his chair, leaning over his friend. âCourf? T-Thank god youâre awake⊠how are you feeling?â
Courfeyrac looked down at that. He knew that he was teasing, that he was trying to be as positive as he could about everything, that he didnât want to upset Courfeyrac, but he still seemed so sad to him. âWell⊠I am awake., you can eat and sleep now.â He mumbled softly, still not having the courage to look up. âDid you read the letter?â He asked a few seconds later, chewing his lip nervously. âThe goodbye letter.â
Combeferre swallowed around the sudden lump in his throat and glanced at Enjolras, only to see his friend look away with tears in his eyes. When he looked back at Courfeyrac he sighed sadly and nodded. âI did⊠I read the letter,â Combeferre said quietly. âAnd no matter how much it hurts to know that you felt the need to say goodbye to us⊠what you said⊠itâs basically an exact reflection of how I feel about you⊠Of how we both feel about you. I hope you know that.â
Courfeyracâs eyes flickered between his two friends, heart breaking and tears falling down his face as he noticed just how bad everything was, how badly heâd messed up. âI felt the need to say goodbye because I didnât want to leave you with nothing. You deserve so much more than that. But, oh my God, I love you so much. You both mean the world to me and everything I said about you in those lettersâŠbut I know. I had forgotten in that moment of weakness, but I know you both love me.â
âGood,â Enjolras said, firm despite the tears falling from his eyes. âYou need to remember that. And whenever you feel horrible again, you need to think of that. Of how much we love you and how much you mean to us. Donât ever forget it, Courf. PleaseâŠâ
Combeferre smiled at his younger friend and looked back at Courfeyrac. âI agree with that. No matter how dark things are, let that be your light to guide  you home⊠Now, how are you feeling? Are you in any pain?â
âI wonât. I wonât forget, I promise. God I love you both so much, youâre the best people in my life.â Courfeyrac said immediately, taking one of their hands in each of his, desperate to show how much he meant it. âI meanâŠIâm kinda in pain. Itâs like a distant pain, itâs there but itâs not that bad. I can feel my wrists throbbing though, it sorta stings. How many painkillers am I on right now?â
Combeferre took the chart from Courfeyracâs bed and read the file, frowning slightly. âYouâre on quite a bit,â he said slowly, looking back up at his friend. âYouâre allowed a small dose of morphine on top of this, but only if the pain is really bad. I donât think a throbbing qualifies, but let us know as soon as it starts hurting more, yeah? Weâll get a nurse.â
Enjolras stared quietly at his hand, where it was entangled with Courfeyracâs. Now that Combeferre was here, he could feel how utterly exhausted he was and how scared. All adrenaline left his body and he felt weak. He suddenly felt the urge to get out of the room, if only for a few minutes. So he loosened his grip on Courfeyracâs hand and stood. âIâm⊠I-Iâm going to let everyone know youâre awake⊠T-they should know⊠everyoneâs worried.â Enjolras trailed off and left the room.
He nodded slowly, not really feeling the effect of the painkillers but at the same time not feeling any pain, so they had to be working. âOkay, Iâll be fine for a while but thank you. Iâm probably already on suicide watch, I donât want them thinking Iâm trying to take a load of drugs as well.â He joked, however pausing slightly when he heard how dark the joke sounded.
However, he snapped his head up to look at Enjolras when he felt his hand loosen in his own, noticing that heâd become hesitant and stuttery. âOkay. Can you- could you tell them I love them all and Iâm sorry.â He asked softly, instinctively reaching for Combeferreâs hand when Enjolrasâ left his. When he left he looked to Combeferre, eyes wide with worry. âIs he okay? I want him to be okay, I donât want him to worry.â
âY-Yeah⊠of course, Iâll tell them that,â Enjolras said hastily, suddenly in a hurry to leave the room. âIâll make sure they know, though I think they already do.âÂ
Combeferre sighed and pulled a tired hand through his hair. When Courfeyrac looked at him with worry in his eyes, the medical student forced a smile and squeezed his hand. He leaned forwards a little and dropped a kiss on Courfeyracâs head. âYes, heâs fine⊠Heâs justâŠâ Combeferre hesitated, then decided it was best to just tell the truth. âI think he just needs a moment. Joly was able to force me home, but Enjolras hasnât left your side since it happened⊠And Iâm sure heâs been running on nothing but coffee and adrenaline since then. Itâs bound to take itâs toll⊠Now that youâre awake, I think itâs all come crashing down, you know? Heâll be fine, he just needs a bit of air, thatâs all.â
He looked down when Combeferre told him about Enjolras, now feeling more guilty than worried because he thought this was his fault. If he hadnât been so stupid, so selfish, none of this wouldâve happened. âHow long was he at my side? How long was I out for?â He asked quietly, gripping onto his hand a little tighter. âKnowing Enjolras heâs been awake the whole time Iâve been unconscious, so how long was that?â
Combeferre sighed again and thought back to the moment Enjolras called him to tell Courfeyrac was in the hospital. He didnât want his friend to feel guilty over this. This wasnât his fault. âLook, Courf... I can tell youâre upset right now, and you shouldnât be. What happened... itâs not something anyone can blame you for. Youâre sick and this isnât your fault. Youâve been here for four days now, nearly five. Enjolras hasnât left your side, but heâs been drifting off every now and then. Heâll be fine, mon ami. I promise.â
"I'm fine, R, honestly, stop worrying about me. It's just a simple stomach ache, nothing bad. I don't act like the world is about to end when you have a hangover, so stop it and don't give me that look!" Enjolras crossed his arms and looked at his boyfriend, challenging him to contradict. To be honest, he did feel under the weather, but not as bad as Grantaire thought it was. Right? Right.
Grantaire sighed. Enjolras looked pale and sweaty. âFine, but if youâre not better in a day or two, weâre going to the doctor. I donât want you getting worse on me.â he leaned over and kissed Enjolrasâ cheek. âIn the mean time, drink plenty of water.â Grantaire filled a large glass with ice and water. âThat could be why your stomach hurts. You need water.â
Enjolras shivered as he stood on trembling legs. He obediently followed Grantaireâs instructions as the man dressed him, but his eyelids were heavy and it was very hard to keep them open. At least they werenât going to a hospital, that was good. But why was Grantaire so scared? Should Enjolras be scared too?
âYeah⊠w-weâll go,â Enjolras murmured, sticking his arms out when Grantaire pulled a sweater out of his closet. âIâll be fine, right? I-Itâs probably n-nothing⊠M-Maybe I just n-need more medicineâŠâ
Grantaire helped him into the car and fastened his seat belt for him. He folded up a blanket and put it between Enjolrasâ head and the door. âSleep if you need to, okay?â he climbed into the driverâs seat and set off.
âYeah, you probably just need more medication. You had a hell of an infection. The doctors will take care of you.â he pulled into the urgent care center and helped Enjolras into the waiting room.
Enjolras was still shivering violently despite the sweater and his coat. He knew Grantaire had cracked the heat up, but somehow, he couldnât get warm. Which was odd, considering he was far too hot when he woke up in sweats earlier. He knew he had a fever, but he didnât understand why. Everything was going too fast and he felt confused.Â
ââS cold,â Enjolras whispered when Grantaire helped him out of the car and into the waiting room. âI-Iâm cold, R...âÂ
"I didn't mean to disappoint you." (Grantaire-R)
âYet you did,â Enjolras whispered, a sad look in his eyes. âYour bottle is more important than our date, I get that now.â
Enjolras giggled when Grantaire shifted and pulled him on top of him. When he was comfortably settled on his boyfriendâs chest, he sighed and laid his head down, focusing on Grantaireâs heartbeat. âOf course this wonât be the only time weâll spend a whole day together. I know weâre both busy people, but weâll make it work. If other people can do it, then so can we, right?â
Grantaire nodded. âWe can. Yeah, Weâll find a way to make time. We just have to make sure we donât get lost in our work.â he ran his hand up and down Enjolrasâ back. âPeople have been making it work for centuries, we should be fine.â
Enjolras nodded, though there was a nagging feeling in the pit of his stomach that told him it wasnât that easy. He knew how he could get when he got busy... when work and their causes took up most of his time. He wasnât easily willing to let it all go and put it aside for a night spending in bed. And he could think it would work now, but he knew that when that time came, itâd be a challenge for their relationship. âHow about we enjoy this moment a little longer and weâll get up to make dinner in an hour? Or are you hungry already?âÂ
"They threw me out of the house," Enjolras admitted shamefully, tears shining in his eyes. He stood in front of Combeferre's doorstep, dripping from the rain and carried a small backpack with some stuff in it. "C-Can I stay with you?"
Combeferre was surprised, shocked even, to find Enjolras on the opposite side of his door, backpack slung over his shoulder and rain soaking his clothes and hair. âEnjâ Of course!â He pulled the door open, ushering him in and out of the cold. âMon dieuâ youâre soaked through!â
Combeferre nodded, âOf course I have.. you know I always loved working with you.â He squeezed his hand another little squeeze then, guiding Enjolras over to sit on a bench. âI know this years been awful, Enj.. but I promise you it will get better. Iâll make sure it does.â
âOf course I think about you, youâre still my best friend - and what kind of a friend would that make me if I didnât think about you even if you werenât around?â
Enjolras looked down at his feet, listening to his friend making promises and sacrifices all for him. He was touched, but also a little worried. It wasnât Combeferreâs task to fix him. âI think it will get better too,â he said quietly, staring at the Law building once more. âBut I have to do it myself⊠I need to stop being scared and ashamed of who I am. You canât do that for me⊠You can help though.âÂ
âI think about you too⊠All the time, you know? Whenever I feel bad, that makes me feel a little better. It always felt like you were still around, if I tried really hard.âÂ
Combeferre nodded, âIt will, I promise⊠and I know you have to do this for yourself too, but I will be here to support you.â He smiled, âAnd whenever you need me to tell you that you are wonderful just the way you are. I will always be there to do that⊠and if it ever gets bad.. know that you can call me. Yeah?â
He smiled a little, following Enjolrasâ gaze back to the law building. âI am still around, Enj. Maybe not there in class with you, but Iâm there - you can still call me or talk to me any time you need me.â
Enjolras blushed a little and ducked his head, smiling. âYou are always allowed to tell me that,â he mumbled shyly. âI might have trouble believing it, but itâs always nice if people tell you that.â He reached out his hand and took that of his best friend, squeezing it briefly. âAnd I hope you know how wonderful I think you are.âÂ
He sighed a little and continued walking, forcing his eyes away from the law building. âI know you are and I donât blame you for anything, you know? Itâs just⊠a lot harder. I know I can always call you and all, but last year you were just ⊠there⊠And because of that, people left me alone. You were a buffer of some sort and thatâs gone now.â
âI know you have trouble believing it from time, but thatâs why Iâm here, non? Everytime you need a little reminder of how brilliant you are, I will be here to let you know.ââ
âI know you donât blame me, but I get it. Itâs harder not to have someone around when previously they were.â He offered a little smile, âLook, cher, I know theyâre giving you a hard time, but I promise you can get through it - in a few months itâll all be behind you.â He gave his hands a little squeeze. âIf it gets bad though, I want you to tell me, okay? I might not be there, but Iâll be damned if I let people do this to you.â
Enjolras chuckled softly, but he felt a comfortable warmth spread throughout his chest. The fact that Combeferre wouldnât want anything to happen to him and was actually there to protect him whenever he needed it, was more than Enjolras could wish for. âThanks âFerre,â he said quietly, âAnd I guess they should all watch their backs if that happens. Iâve seen your wrath and I doubt they want to be confronted with it.âÂ
It was a joke of course, but Enjolras felt like lightening the mood a little. Sure, he was still feeling miserable, but he was with his friend now and he didnât want to make Combeferre feel miserable too.Â
With a strength he didn't knew he possessed, Enjolras pushed himself up from the ground of his prison cell and followed the police officer out of the prison. His legs trembled and his back ached terribly from the multiple whippings he had suffered after his arrest. Once the piercing cold of the winter wind touched his skin, Enjolras looked up and felt an immense relief at seeing his best friend waiting for him.
Combeferre was worried of course, but he knew to keep his mouth shut at least until the were out. He held out a jacket to Enjolras, almost certain that his friend would be cold - he had packed it in advance, he was simply relieved that they had let him bail Enjolras out. âMon amiâŠ? Come, come with me.â As soon as he was released, Combeferre draped the clothing over his shoulders and offered physical support as he led him outside.
âI know it still feels weird, Enj, but youâre going to be fine.. itâs not been long at all and youâre already feeling a little better.. Right?â Combeferre offered a little smile. âAnd believe it or not, talking about it and accepting what happened will only help in the long run.â
Combeferre continued to eat his pasta. âYouâll let me know if thereâs anything more I can do to help, right? I do mean it, I want to help.â
âThatâs true,â Enjolras answered truthfully, swallowing a bite of pasta. âI feel better than I did yesterday⊠Both mentally and physically I guess⊠But I canât stop and think about it too much, because⊠b-because then Iâll panic.â Enjolras bit his lip and looked down at his plate. He tried his hardest to push all memories to the back of his mind. Only then did he feel like he could function again. âOf course Iâll let you know if thereâs anything you can doâŠâ Enjolras said quietly. âI love you for wanting to help⊠b-but I donât want you to put your life on hold for meâŠâ
He nodded in understanding, he didnât want to force Enjolras to talk and cause him to start panicking. âHey, donât worry about it, alright?â Combeferre looked up to meet his gaze. âWe donât have to talk about it right now, okay?â
âNonsense. Let me take care of you.â He murmured, âIâm not putting anything on hold, I just want to help - itâs my priority right now.â
Enjolras took a deep breath. He closed his eyes for a moment, forcing his rapid heartbeat to slow down so that the sudden ache in his chest lessened. Then he nodded and gave Combeferre a small smile. âAlright⊠Thank you⊠I want to talk about it.. j-just⊠Just not now.â Being Combeferreâs priorty was Enjolras greatest relief, but also his biggest guilt. He loved his friend for being there for him, couldnât be more grateful. But he was also ashamed that - no matter what his friend might say - he robbed Combeferre from his own life. âYouâre always taking care of me,â Enjolras mumbled, not knowing what else to say. âI just wish you wouldnât have to..â
âI know, Enj, and we donât have to talk about it right now⊠just whenever youâre ready. Yeah? We can do this when youâre feeling comfortable with talking about what happened.â
Combeferre shook his head, âDonât think that way, Enj. I want to take care of you, thereâs a difference between having to and wanting to⊠yes I feel a little responsibility to take care of you, especially at times like this when you need me, but I also want to. Please donât feel like Iâm forced to because given the choice I would always choose to be here for you.â
Enjolras nodded. Whenever he was ready. He could do that⊠He wasnât afraid of talking about it, especially not with Combeferre. But he didnât want to bring it all back up again. Not when he had the option to push it to the back of his mind. âAlright, Iâll do that⊠I promise,â Enjolras said softly, glancing up at his friend with a small smile.
Enjolrasâ smile grew wider when Combeferre told him he really wanted to take care of him. It wasnât a suprise, but it was nice to know nonetheless. âI know that, âFerre⊠But the same goes for me. I want to take care of you too⊠And I know itâs not healthy to put me in front of everything else in your life. So, Iâll just have to make sure that you wonât.â
Combeferre knew that it likely wasnât the idea of talking about it that was going to upset Enjolras, it would be the repercussions of such; having to almost relive the situation in memory in order to explain.
âHey, you know I can take care of myself too, but either way - weâll take care of eachother.â He smiled, giving the blondâs hand a little squeeze. âYou take care of me, and I will take care of you.â
âI know you can take care of yourself,â Enjolras replied softly, âBut I also know that you tend to forget yourself when youâre worrying about others. Weâre not that different, you and I⊠Itâs just that I forget basic things like eating or sleeping, but you forget other things like going on dates or watching that tv program you wanted to see.â Enjolras smiled, squeezing Combeferreâs hand in return. âBut I like the idea of us taking care of each other. Weâll look out for each other.. weâve always done that, haventâ we?â
He took another bite of the pasta and savored its taste before swallowing. He hadnât thought he could eat his whole plate, but he had no difficulty to be honest. âBy the way⊠this pasta is delicious âFerreâŠâ
âWell, weâll look out for each other. Just like we always have, hm? But you know that I do want to take care of you - and being able to do that does make me happy, more so than any tv show or anything of the sort.â He chuckled, taking another bite of his own plate of pasta.
âIâm glad you like it - and that your appetiteâs coming back, non? Itâd do you no good to stop eating.â
Enjolras laughed softly and shrugged his shoulder. He knew he meant more to Combeferre than any tv show or whatever. That was not entirely his point, but he was sure his friend knew what he was talking about and they were agreed on that point. Both of them would look out for each other. They were going to be okay.
At the question of his appetite, Enjolras nodded and ate the last bit of his pasta. âIt is. Itâs weird, I wasnât that hungry when you proposed to make something, but ever since I took that one bite, I was famished.â He chuckled. âWell not famished, but you know what I mean⊠Besides, itâs really good, so that helps.â
Combeferre smiled, âWell, Iâm glad either way.. youâve eaten something and whether you ate a lot or a little, itâs still something in your system.â He chuckled, âAnd the fact that you enjoyed it, even if you didnât really feel hungry before is a bonus, right?â
When they were finished, Combeferre took their plates so he could wash the dishes. âIs there anything you want to do in particular?â
Enjolras stood from the table and carried their water glasses to the sink. âIt is a bonus,â he agreed, smiling. âAnd it feels better not to walk around on an empty stomach too, I have to admit.â He watched his friend wash the dishes and thought about something to do. âI donât really know,â he said finally, eyes glancing to the clock in the kitchen. It was already quite late, but they had slept a lot in the afternoon. âIâm not that tired yet, but I donât really feel like watching TV or reading⊠Actually Iâd like to go outside for a bit, have some fresh air, you know? But I donât know if thatâs wise⊠What do you think?â
âIâm glad that youâre eating well at least, I mean I would make sure that you ate something, of course, but you managed a whole plate - thatâs good, considering you didnât feel like eating earlier. Non? He smiled, âItâll make you feel a lot better too, Iâm sure.â
Combeferre nodded, âMaybe we could go for a little walk? Just down the block to the gardens or something.. worst comes to worst we can just turn right around again and go home again.â
âIâm glad Iâm eating as well⊠Iâm a bit surprised that Iâm able to stomach it all since I hadnât really had anything for a week, but so far so good.â Enjolras smiled up at him. âAnd it does make me feel better, youâre right. I feel more awake⊠and maybe a little stronger too.âÂ
When Combeferre mentioned going to the gardens, Enjolras felt his heart lift a little. They hadnât been there in ages. âIâd like that a lot, actually. I want to go to the gardens, itâs been a while.â
Combeferre smiled at that, glad that Enjolras was actually benefiting physically as well as mentally from having something substantial to eat. âWell, Iâll be careful not to make things that would be too heavy for you for a little while, but youâre doing well.â
âShall we sit for a minute and let your body settle down? Then weâll go for a walk to the gardens.â Combeferre suggested, not wanting to push Enjolras too much physically.
âYeah, sure... maybe thatâs wise,â Enjolras replied, shuffling his way into the living room and sitting down on the sofa. It still bothered him that he couldnât just lean backwards and actually lounge in the couch, but he tried not to think about it too much. âI guess you know better than me what I can and can not do or when I need to take it easy. Youâve always done that, right.â Enjolras smiled.
He waited for Combeferre to come sit down next to him and then moved a little closer so that he could lean against his friend instead of the back of the couch.â
From @e-isforfrance
He wrapped an arm around his head and caressed his hair, brushing away the stray locks. âShh⊠Trying is good. Trying is very very good and Iâm so proud of you, dearest, so proudââ with a gentle hum, he picked the other up effortlessly and took to bouncing him around like a child.
âShh sh shâŠâ He nodded gently. âI know. I know. Youâre still my best friend, youâre still here with me and Iâm so so glad of that.â He soothed, kissing the top of his head. âListen, letâs get you cleaned up at my house, alright? I can run you a bath, and we will come see Jehan in the morning. Do you like the sound of that?â
Enjolras allowed Combeferreâs calming voice to sooth his rapid heartbeat. He took deep breaths and finally, he was able to stop the constant stream of tears. He felt safe in Combeferreâs arms. Much safer than he had in such a long time. He wished he could stay there forever, but that wouldnât be fair. Combeferre wouldnât want to take care of him like he was a child.Â
âYes, I think Iâd like that,â Enjolras whispered in a hoarse voice, his fist curling a little tighter in Combeferreâs shirt. âYouâll stay with me right? And you promise I can see Jehan in the morning? What if he wonât remember me?â
Enjolras stares at himself in his mirror. He's wearing a black suit, his hair is combed back and Combeferre's watch feels secure around his wrist. Today it's been a year since his best friend's funeral. Combeferre's parents arranged a get-together-diner dedicated to their son. All the Amis are invited. Enjolras doesn't look forward to it. A year may have passed, but the pain never went away. Every day was a struggle. "Courf?" He calls from his bedroom. "You ready to go?"
e-isforfrance
Courfeyrac was in the bathroom, staring at himself in the mirror as he fussed with both his hair and tie multiple times over. It wasnât as if he was trying to impress anyone, he had no need to look his best. It was more out of nerves than anything, really, his hands needed something to do, heâd found himself constantly needing something to occupy them with lately. A whole year couldnât do anything to dull the pain, or at least get the memories from his mind, but there was at least a single picture on his night stand now. The rest he kept tucked away in a box, still unable to look through them.
He nearly jumped at Enjolrasâ voice, brushing his hair back and looking one last time at the sombre image of himself in the mirror before he stepped out. âYeah, Iâm ready.â He called back. âAre you?â
je-isforfrance:
âAnd you will be able to do that,â Enjolras said, convinced that it was the truth. âYou will, Courf. Maybe it takes a little time and you shouldnât force yourself, but you will. Look at you, earlier this afternoon you didnât want me near you. You didnât want to talk about anything and now weâre discussing him and remembering him. And I know it still hurts, but thatâs a big step forward already.â Enjolras smiled to himself, finally feeling more at ease now that Courfeyrac was truly opening up to him. He knew now that his friend knew that Enjolras would be there for him, no matter what. That heâd be there when Courfeyrac fell apart. Heâd be there to pick up the pieces and make it all better again. Or at least, he would try his hardest.Â
âIt got us this far, thatâs true,â Enjolras agreed quietly, remembering his unstable behavior the first few months after Combeferre died. Heâd been in such a horrible state and heâd put so much on Courfeyrac, he still felt guilty for it. Part of him wondered if he wasnât at fault for how his friend felt now. If he hadnât needed Courfeyrac that much in the beginning, maybe his friend wouldâve allowed himself to grief instead of pushing it all away. âI just hope that I havenât prevented you from grieving earlier⊠you know⊠You say it was a distraction to you, but Iâm still sorry for it. I put so much on your plate and I donât intend to do that again⊠I mean, I still want to lean on you and look to you for help⊠But I donât want to burden you like that again. Itâs not fair.â
âWell, yeah, I meanâŠitâs not much, it still hurts a lot, but I want to try. When I left you there, when I came back and saw that picture sitting on the table, it hurt, more than anythingâs ever hurt before. Even when Iâd first gotten that call, when I figured out, even standing there at his funeral, seeing him smiling there in that picture and realizing he would never be able to again-that was what got me, it was like something snapped, I couldnât hold it back anymore and before you came in I feltâŠlost. I didnât know what to do anymore.â Courfeyrac admitted quietly, although there was a slight smile on his face, knowing he needed to do this, he needed to push himself to open up to Enjolras and let him be his support.Â
He shook his head immediately to Enjolrasâ words, wrapping his arms back around the otherâs chest and tugging him close. No, no, it wasnât you, please donât think it was. I wanted you to lean on me, I wanted to be able to focus on helping you, it was easier than thinking about anything else. If I could make sure you were okay, then I didnât have to focus on myself, on how awfully I was handling it. You werenât any sort of burden, if anything I was using you as some sort of crutch, and I shouldnât have been, I was making it all worse, locking all of it away and I upset you.â
Enjolras bit his lip and kept silent as he listened to Courfeyrac talk. He knew that, back then, his struggles had helped his friend to keep it all together. And he understood that in Courfeyracâs eyes, that might look like a good thing, but in the long run it hadnât done that much good at all. If Enjolras hadnât leaned on his friend that much, then Courfeyrac would have been forced to face his grief much earlier and he might be doing better right now. Enjolras couldnât help but feel a little guilty for it, no matter how much his friend would tell him that wasnât necessary. It was wrong of him to put all those problems on his friend when he himself was also falling apart.Â
âYou didnât upset me.... I mean, yeah I was upset, but I didnât blame you for it,â Enjolras said quietly. âOut of everyone in this entire world, I think Iâm the only one who knows exactly how you feel and what youâre going through. And the same goes for you, I guess. Youâre the only one who could really help me, because youâre the only one who really understands how I feel. I think thatâs why itâs so important that we let ourselves help each other. We need that. We need to depend on one another and we need to know that no matter how hard it gets, the other is there to help you out. And Iâm really grateful that you agree with me on that, now. Weâll heal each other, and before you know it, youâll be able to look at all those pictures again and you can smile, because it remembers you of a time where we were all happy and together. Where Combeferre was happy...âÂ
A loud, regular beep and a tight grip on his hand woke Courfeyrac up from his sleep. Taking a second to take in his surroundings when he saw Enjolras at his side, gripping his hand, and seeingly crying. "Enjolras...?" He asked, voice hoarse. "What hap- oh..." (courfeyracapaladin)
Enjolras was angry, upset and scared at the same time. He couldnât get the image of his friend out of his head. His friend, crumpled on the floor in a pool of his own blood. Heâd called an ambulance, called Combeferre, called the Amis and now here they were. He couldnât remember how long heâd been at the hospital. Days and nights blurred into one. It mustâve been a couple of days at least. He hadnât stopped crying ever since.
When he felt the hand in his own move and heard Courfeyracâs raspy voice, Enjolrasâ heart jumped to his throat and he leaped up from his chair, leaning over his friend. âCourf? T-Thank god youâre awake⊠how are you feeling?â
Courfeyrac looked down at that. He knew that he was teasing, that he was trying to be as positive as he could about everything, that he didnât want to upset Courfeyrac, but he still seemed so sad to him. âWell⊠I am awake., you can eat and sleep now.â He mumbled softly, still not having the courage to look up. âDid you read the letter?â He asked a few seconds later, chewing his lip nervously. âThe goodbye letter.â
Combeferre swallowed around the sudden lump in his throat and glanced at Enjolras, only to see his friend look away with tears in his eyes. When he looked back at Courfeyrac he sighed sadly and nodded. âI did⊠I read the letter,â Combeferre said quietly. âAnd no matter how much it hurts to know that you felt the need to say goodbye to us⊠what you said⊠itâs basically an exact reflection of how I feel about you⊠Of how we both feel about you. I hope you know that.â
Courfeyracâs eyes flickered between his two friends, heart breaking and tears falling down his face as he noticed just how bad everything was, how badly heâd messed up. âI felt the need to say goodbye because I didnât want to leave you with nothing. You deserve so much more than that. But, oh my God, I love you so much. You both mean the world to me and everything I said about you in those lettersâŠbut I know. I had forgotten in that moment of weakness, but I know you both love me.â
âGood,â Enjolras said, firm despite the tears falling from his eyes. âYou need to remember that. And whenever you feel horrible again, you need to think of that. Of how much we love you and how much you mean to us. Donât ever forget it, Courf. PleaseâŠâ
Combeferre smiled at his younger friend and looked back at Courfeyrac. âI agree with that. No matter how dark things are, let that be your light to guide  you home⊠Now, how are you feeling? Are you in any pain?â
âI wonât. I wonât forget, I promise. God I love you both so much, youâre the best people in my life.â Courfeyrac said immediately, taking one of their hands in each of his, desperate to show how much he meant it. âI meanâŠIâm kinda in pain. Itâs like a distant pain, itâs there but itâs not that bad. I can feel my wrists throbbing though, it sorta stings. How many painkillers am I on right now?â
Combeferre took the chart from Courfeyracâs bed and read the file, frowning slightly. âYouâre on quite a bit,â he said slowly, looking back up at his friend. âYouâre allowed a small dose of morphine on top of this, but only if the pain is really bad. I donât think a throbbing qualifies, but let us know as soon as it starts hurting more, yeah? Weâll get a nurse.â
Enjolras stared quietly at his hand, where it was entangled with Courfeyracâs. Now that Combeferre was here, he could feel how utterly exhausted he was and how scared. All adrenaline left his body and he felt weak. He suddenly felt the urge to get out of the room, if only for a few minutes. So he loosened his grip on Courfeyracâs hand and stood. âIâm⊠I-Iâm going to let everyone know youâre awake⊠T-they should know⊠everyoneâs worried.â Enjolras trailed off and left the room.
He nodded slowly, not really feeling the effect of the painkillers but at the same time not feeling any pain, so they had to be working. âOkay, Iâll be fine for a while but thank you. Iâm probably already on suicide watch, I donât want them thinking Iâm trying to take a load of drugs as well.â He joked, however pausing slightly when he heard how dark the joke sounded.
However, he snapped his head up to look at Enjolras when he felt his hand loosen in his own, noticing that heâd become hesitant and stuttery. âOkay. Can you- could you tell them I love them all and Iâm sorry.â He asked softly, instinctively reaching for Combeferreâs hand when Enjolrasâ left his. When he left he looked to Combeferre, eyes wide with worry. âIs he okay? I want him to be okay, I donât want him to worry.â
âY-Yeah... of course, Iâll tell them that,â Enjolras said hastily, suddenly in a hurry to leave the room. âIâll make sure they know, though I think they already do.âÂ
Combeferre sighed and pulled a tired hand through his hair. When Courfeyrac looked at him with worry in his eyes, the medical student forced a smile and squeezed his hand. He leaned forwards a little and dropped a kiss on Courfeyracâs head. âYes, heâs fine... Heâs just...â Combeferre hesitated, then decided it was best to just tell the truth. âI think he just needs a moment. Joly was able to force me home, but Enjolras hasnât left your side since it happened... And Iâm sure heâs been running on nothing but coffee and adrenaline since then. Itâs bound to take itâs toll... Now that youâre awake, I think itâs all come crashing down, you know? Heâll be fine, he just needs a bit of air, thatâs all.â
"I'm fine, R, honestly, stop worrying about me. It's just a simple stomach ache, nothing bad. I don't act like the world is about to end when you have a hangover, so stop it and don't give me that look!" Enjolras crossed his arms and looked at his boyfriend, challenging him to contradict. To be honest, he did feel under the weather, but not as bad as Grantaire thought it was. Right? Right.
Grantaire sighed. Enjolras looked pale and sweaty. âFine, but if youâre not better in a day or two, weâre going to the doctor. I donât want you getting worse on me.â he leaned over and kissed Enjolrasâ cheek. âIn the mean time, drink plenty of water.â Grantaire filled a large glass with ice and water. âThat could be why your stomach hurts. You need water.â
Enjolras could hear the panic seep into Grantaireâs voice and he swallowed. If his boyfriend was scared, then this was definitely not supposed to happen. Enjolras didnât understand. Heâd been on antibiotics and the doctorâs had given him the clear. Why was something wrong now? Why was he hurting and why was he so hot? âI can walk,â Enjolras murmured, allowing Grantaire to help him up. Only then did he realize his boyfriend wanted to take him back to the hospital and he panicked. âNo⊠N-No, R⊠Iâm fine⊠No h-hospital, please? I just h-have to sleep this off⊠P-Please.. Iâll be fine in the morning.â
Grantaire shook his head, âNo, weâll go to the urgent care center, since the doctor is closed. Â We wonât go to the hospital unless they say you have to.â he finished getting himself ready, then helped Enjolras slip into sock and shoes.
âI know youâd rather wait, but it might be worse if we do. Come on, you look horrible, we need to go.â he was wide awake now. Grantaire was scared. Enjolras shouldnât be this feverish. He only hoped that they could get quick treatment then go home.
Enjolras shivered as he stood on trembling legs. He obediently followed Grantaireâs instructions as the man dressed him, but his eyelids were heavy and it was very hard to keep them open. At least they werenât going to a hospital, that was good. But why was Grantaire so scared? Should Enjolras be scared too?
âYeah... w-weâll go,â Enjolras murmured, sticking his arms out when Grantaire pulled a sweater out of his closet. âIâll be fine, right? I-Itâs probably n-nothing... M-Maybe I just n-need more medicine...â
"I didn't mean to disappoint you." (Grantaire-R)
âYet you did,â Enjolras whispered, a sad look in his eyes. âYour bottle is more important than our date, I get that now.â
âYeah, sure, that sounds good! I can do pasta⊠And bread and salad shouldnât be too challenging.â Enjolras grinned and kissed him back. It felt wonderful to have his boyfriend with him for the entire day. He already liked the domestic feeling they seemed to share. Sure theyâd only started dating recently, but theyâd known each other forever and theyâd been friends for years. It felt like a natural flow to take this other step. âWhat sort of sauce will you make?â
Grantaire laughed. He felt completely relaxed and quite reluctant to get up. âIâll make your jar of sauce taste like good pasta sauce.â he pulled Enjolras on top of him. âI hope this isnât the only time we get to spend a whole day together, relaxing like this.â he lazily ran his hand up and down Enjolrasâ back.
Enjolras giggled when Grantaire shifted and pulled him on top of him. When he was comfortably settled on his boyfriendâs chest, he sighed and laid his head down, focusing on Grantaireâs heartbeat. âOf course this wonât be the only time weâll spend a whole day together. I know weâre both busy people, but weâll make it work. If other people can do it, then so can we, right?â
From @e-isforfrance
The man nodded and rested his chin on top of his friendâs head, unable to say much for a long time. He sighed, eventually, and kissed the top of his head. âDarling, you need to look after yourself more. Have something to eat or wash your face and brush your hair. And sleep. Definitely sleep.â
He sighed again, this time a little more forcefully. âAnd youâre not.â The words tumbled out before he could stop them, âyouâre not, and you donât need to be sorry for it because Iâm your friend and I love you just the way you are. Youâre having difficulty coping, thatâs all.â
Enjolras felt a guilty blush creep up his cheeks and he buried his face further away in Combeferreâs chest. He knew he wasnât taking care of himself and he hated burdening his friends. It was just hard to take care of yourself when you didnât care about yourself at all. âIâm trying,â Enjolras whispered finally, hoping to take some of the worry away.
âI love you too, so damn much âFerre...â Enjolras cried softly, meaning every word of it. âI do... And you d-deserve a best f-friend and Iâm sorry Iâve been like this... âs just... e-verything is hard... A-and now with Jehan...â
