[rennebright]

this video has cosnsistently made me lose it every single time I watch it since yesterday

cw: loud

[mayaishiipeters]

"Hello. My name is Joe Pera and I have 40 minutes until the chicken kiev i'm eating for dinner is cooked in the oven. So in the meantime, I thought I'd see what's new on tumblr. See the snoopy icon? That's [username redacted]. We've been mutuals for 6 years. I don't know their name, but i do know they teach preschool kids and they have a cat named Checkers. Sometimes i post pictures of Gus on here. They usually get a few likes. Occasionally people even reblog his picture because they want him on their blogs, too. Can you blame them? I mean, look at his handsome face."

[weaver-z]

Just saved the lives of everyone in a diner. No big deal

[weaver-z]

[brucebocchi]

i’m having a fucking conniption (source & original)

[beardedmrbean]

India's tallest elephant, Thechikottukavu Ramachandran - Still alive at age 58 he has killed a record 15 people and 3 elephants in his lifetime and is branded as the most dangerous captive elephant in the state

[moonlitmartyr]

for the bit

[disksystem]

[fruitpilled-peachcel]

in a stunning upset victory, Nagash the Supreme Lord of Undeath has won speaker of the house.

[fruitpilled-peachcel]

during a conference with CNN, he had this to say

"I still endure. I still stand. This realm? It is mine… spiders have spun their webs across my eyes and worms borrow in my chest but I still live. I yet stand against my enemies, I shall always do so for I could do naught else. My will gutters and flares like a fire newly stoked. The great necromancer awakens. I. STILL. ENDURE. The three eyed king  crushed the ranks of my servants, his daemon blade shattered my bones and cleaved my heart in two. My rites and magics were torn asunder, my power broken on the altar of fate. My body was left to the dust and to the dust I returned. My soul fell shrieking into the darkness as a black comet, streaking across the underworld and the impact of it cracked the roots of my realm."

"I. STILL. ENDURE."

He refused to elaborate on what he meant. Possibly this could be the first sign of trouble for the new Speaker.

[beardedmrbean]

Just a bunch of lads, bein dudes

[twelfth-order-simulacra]

women don't understand how important it is to be a bloke doing fuck all monitoring repair processes

[vvarhound]

Stop filming the guys watching them change the tire and start filming them changing the tire I want to watch them change the tire

[tentacion2099]

[sugarpkts]

[shadow-wizard-moneygang]

[ewaneneollav]

music & a bite to eat is life

[ewaneneollav]

playing my game

[desert-palm]

[captain-acab]

Catch me being a modern-day cyberpirate screaming up alongside you on the 405 in my mad max car with half a bitcoin farm's worth of RAM in the backseat as I hack your Bitchless Towyota™ device and steal the boat you're towing right off the back bumper of the tesla your dad bought you

As i roar into the sunset you have to swerve* to avoid the small flotilla of hacked Towyota devices trailing behind me

(*in fact you do not swerve because you're on hands-free driving to go along with your hitch-free towing so you can only watch helplessly as your tesla mistakes your stolen booty for a small child and accelerates crashing into it and killing you instantly)

[crazy-brazilian]

[soradsauce]

[gingertomcat]

"oh fuck we might give the poors an advantage for once"

[389]

jungle IS massive, innit

[dudemom]

obsessed

[ampervadasz]

Dinnertime (Unmute !)

[bigtea123-deactivated20240310]

zero composure….disgusting beast