A Friend Leaves
People around the office are getting sick. We’re all closing the doors to our offices. Something is going around, and for us, it’s like the plague. Everyone knows that even if they get sick their work will not get any lighter. It’s scary. I started feeling a bit under the weather today as well. I went home early to work, but instead I’m on tumblr. I have to bill at least five more hours today. That’s my goal at least. It will give me 9 hours total. It will help make up for some of the time lost last week.
Last week, my good friend and coworker left the firm. She decided litigation was not for her. I completely understand her decision and support her 100%. But I am sad that she isn’t there anymore. She really gave balance to the workplace. It feels different. She was a realist. She didn’t sugarcoat her words. If she felt a certain way she would say it. If there was something wrong, she would listen. She would call it like it really is. She would tell me that I’m being dramatic. Which, admittedly, I was. But even though she sounded harsh, it never came off that way. It always came off like she truly cared. And she said these things while her own work was burying her, making her stay late into the night, causing her to miss trivia night and barre classes.
We would have after-hours “story time.” We started with The Little Prince, which I now love. Story time would be something to look forward to at the end of the day. “Is it story time?” people would ask as they poked their head into her office. “You didn’t start story time without me, did you?” It became the norm. And she was very good at reading out loud. I always felt engaged. And when we reached a good stopping point, or she was tired of reading, she’d say as matter of fact, “The End.”
It started as a joke. “One day I’m just going to up and leave!” she’d say. We would laugh, “you can’t do that to us!” And then as the days went on she started to say it more and more. “I don’t know if I can do this anymore.” “I think about work and I think, ‘what’s the point?’” “I cried last night.” She did this for her. And she knows what’s best for her.
She told us the day before she gave notice. “Guys, I have something to tell you.” “Noooo!” I yelled, before she could even finish. Another coworker began to cry after holding it in for a good while. Tissues were passed. I was distraught, but resilient. I knew this day would come, just not so soon. “Are we still doing story time?” I asked. “I don’t know if you can handle it right now.” “I can! I really want to listen.” She agreed. She pulled out Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s stone, and leaned back into her chair. As I looked at her, I realized that she was really leaving. The story time that I had become accustomed to was now going to end. My friend was leaving. In a moment, I imagined what it would be like without her: I stop by her office, as I usually do before a breakdown, and realize that her office is empty and that she is no longer there. She didn’t get through even one sentence before I yelled, “Nooo!” and put my hands to my head. I covered my eyes and before I knew it I was crying. I was so confused. I did not expect to cry at all. “Are those fake tears or are those real tears?” she asked. I moved my hands away from my face for only a moment, but a tear streamed down my face. “Oh. Those are real tears,” she said.
Work won’t be the same without you. I will miss you. And I will root for you. Good luck out there!
turnnoffyourmind
2087
romaincrisis
andulkaphoto
snowghoul
tangentwithtanner
