NX

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The fact Steve can’t take his hands off Reece doing the last episode in the in9 documentary lives in my head rent free and them two walking together all synched up is 😭

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Another unfinished Stede. Which I totally forgot about and went on writing on the back 🤦

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Plan was to sketch Ed as reflection in the water but I got lazy. So here is Stede posing as Caravaggio‘s Narcissus.

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That critic of Jaskier’s song in 204 is just the show letting itself go having the wildest time at glorious self-referencing. Imagine the fun in the writers‘ room lol. And Burn Butcher Burn and emo!Jaskier are the Best. Thing. Ever.

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Recently binged la casa de papel. Emotionally decimated by 408. Now my search engine is somehow filled with flight prices, I‘m mentally planing a trip to Palermo just to frame my plane ticket and cry at it from time to time. I live in Berlin.

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Neil Gaiman from David’s podcast in October 2020: “There’s a project that I can’t talk about right now, that I’m writing with someone that I can’t identify right now (this is a terrible way of going into a thing..), where we’ve been working on it for months and months and we’ve been building everything up but we didn’t know how it ended, and finally, we were in the same physical space, actually having a conversation that wasn’t on the phone, and all of a sudden we have the ending. And having the ending, knowing beat by beat just what the emotional ending of the thing was, opened up the entire thing like a door, because we had the plot, and we’ve had the plot for a while, we just weren’t sure why we should care. Everything turned and I immediately knew what the opening scene had to be. What’s lovely is that nothing really changes in the plot, but now it allows us to go, that’s important, that thing that we didn’t know was important, that’s gonna be important. It gives me a feeling of bubbly excitement, which means that anybody that I can take on this journey, is going to get to that place, and be just as excited as I was.”

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Lockdown had me watching horror films the League of Gentlemen loved and trying to figure out the hidden references in their show. I left out the most obvious one i.e. The Shining because I’m still traumatised from when I was 12...

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Smoking in reclination,

inspired by film still from The Souvenir (2019)

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TL,DR: the answer is piracy?

The thing with JK Rowling is like Peter Handke for me all over again, another one of my favourite authors who turns out to be deeply flawed in their political opinions. I’ve asked myself then and now many times, how to reconcile my love for those fictional characters with the great disappointment I’ve come to feel towards their creators. Continue to love them while ignoring the gnawing sense of guilt and anger? Completely denounce the characters who once meant so much to me even though it’s painful like heartbreak? In the end I think there’s no point or possibility for reconciliation. I still care deeply about what happened to Cormoran and Robin in the fifth book, even though I was made aware of the troublesome theme of the story – more importantly, the shocking personal belief behind that story. And the more betrayed I felt, the more desperately I tried to hold on to those characters as completely autonomous beings, separate from their creator’s mind. I know this does not and will not make any sense to me for a long time to come. To read or not to read? I still have no answer for myself or anyone else. One thing for sure though, I will never pay for her books ever again, since denying the financial claim a person has on their cognitive production seems to be the only materially effective act of resistance against oppression from a position of power. It could also be a symbolical denial of the ownership the person has on the characters. Ah well, I can theorise the whole thing all I want, but ––

TL, DR: piracy might keep my heart intact...?

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Things are denied the pure formal principle of language – sound. They can only communicate to one another through a more or less material community. This community is immediate and infinite, like every linguistic communication; it is magical (for there is also a magic of matter).

Walter Benjamin “On Language as Such and on the Language of Man” (1916)

It turns out that Walter Benjamin is the Raven King...?

“The sky spoke to me...”

I almost did a cross-reference to Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell in my fucking master thesis in philosophy I’m in so much trouble seriously

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“Yet still I cannot help but think that millinery is a great deal of work. Sitting up late at night sewing bonnets, counting my money and so forth. It seems to me that my life might be a great deal easier if one of the Princesses were to fall in love with me and marry me. Do you have such a spell, Magician?” –– John Childermass

Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell

You just know he’s having so much fun there.

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five times crowley threw aziraphale up against a wall and one time it was the other way around

“Shut it! I'm a demon, I'm not nice! I'm never nice. Nice is a four-letter word...”

The fourth time it happened, it felt so familiar it was like a routine now.

For the most part, the angel just looked a bit bored.

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That one time Aziraphale grew a beard and went to become a singer in a New York jazz lounge in the 30s.

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What does a fangirl do with some shitty ball pen and a correct tape? This.