𝗟𝗘𝗦𝗦 𝗧𝗛𝗔𝗡 𝙄 𝘿𝙊

but maybe i'll change this time.

[earlyblues]

dependent    blog    for    CIDERPOINTHQ    .    penned    &    loved    by    sunny    !

►   NOW   PLAYING   !

scrawny   by   wallows

BRETT   NASR   –   thirty   –   roby   attal.  ↳   google   doc.   |   pinterest.   |   musings.   |   visage.   |   interactions.

love   shack   by   the   b-52's

COOPER   ABRAMS   –   thirty   –   jonah   hauer   king.  ↳   google   doc.   |   pinterest.   |   musings.   |   visage.   |   interactions.

pieces   by   the   band   camino

ELIAS   WINDSOR   –   twenty6   –   michael   cimino.  ↳   google   doc.   |   pinterest.   |   musings.   |   visage.   |   interactions.

lucky   by   britney   spears

HONEY   ANDERSON   –   twenty9   –   grace   van   patten.  ↳   google   doc.   |   pinterest.   |   musings.   |   visage.   |   interactions.

a   mistake   by   fiona   apple

MAEVE   FINNEGAN   –   twenty7   –   jessica   alexander.  ↳   google   doc.   |   pinterest.   |   musings.   |   visage.   |   interactions.

saturn   by   sza

MILAN    CARTER   –   twenty7   –   antonia   gentry.  ↳   google   doc.   |   pinterest.   |   musings.   |   visage.   |   interactions.

ready   teddy   by   little   richard

THEODORA   LEE   –   thirty   –   adeline   rudolph.  ↳   google   doc.   |   pinterest.   |   musings.   |   visage.   |   interactions.

crybaby   by   sza

VENUS   MOORE   –   twenty8   –   coco   jones.  ↳   google   doc.   |   pinterest.   |   musings.   |   visage.   |   interactions.

[reginasphalanges]

BROOKLYN NINE-NINE 4.14 Serve & Protect

[wells-hannah]

JOHN LOGAN AND JULES LOGAN OFF CAMPUS | 1x02

[earlyblues]

@invlsiblestring

[ruesdeluxe]

[nixscriptum]

on fathers.

[petaltexturedskies]

୭ৎ

[petaltexturedskies]

Marina Tsvetaeva, in a letter to Boris Pasternak, from Letters Summer 1926

[kylieminvogue]

"SEINFELD" S3E16 - "The Fix Up"

[fcreverlasting]

starter: brett ( @earlyblues ) location: national star wars day, little theater

he didn't really think through the optics of having this conversation whilst wearing his very visibly decades old star wars t-shirt. not that he'd dress up to offer a well deserved but likely unwanted apology, although maybe he should because it's not often it happens, but more that he felt small as he wanders up to the concessions counter, phone clutched in one hand, tickets ready behind his lock screen. he waits for brett to look at him before he says a quiet, flat, "hey," to no response. "diet coke and popcorn, please. large." todd barely gives him chance to start before his mouth is open again, grateful for the counter between them. "hey, look. I know this means nothing to you, but I'm sorry." his voice is even, steady. just like it'd been when he'd confessed all of this to winter, too. acceptance. that this is his fault, and his guilt to carry and his only. "it wasn't my place to get involved. winter specifically asked me not to for one thing, but even without that, you're right. I don't know you." feels like it's falling on deaf ears, but he'll say it all anyway, just in case. it doesn't ease any of his own pain, it's never been about that. "I should've kept my cool. winter doesn't deserve this shit, and neither do you. so... I'm sorry."

[earlyblues]

BRETT  SHOULD  NOT  HAVE  A  JOB,  by  any  means.  he's  often  unreliable,  likes  to  mess  with  the  customers,  and  has  too  much  fun  wasting  company  time.  luckily  for  him,  staffing  at  the  little  theater  was  never  great,  which  is  how  he'd  managed  to  work  in  concessions  as  long  as  he  has.  face  twists  in  disgust  as  he  sees  the  man  in  front  of  him.  he's  grateful  the  man  can't  see  which  soda  belongs  to  which  dispenser,  so  he  can't  watch  brett  pour  root  beer  into  his  small  cup.  no  ice,  of  course.  brett  doesn't  care  enough  to  hear  whatever  else  was  coming  out  of  his  mouth  –  he  assumes  it's  all  bullshit  anyway,  so  he  simply  tunes  it  out.  “you  don't  have  to  apologize,  big  dog.  THIS  IS  YOUR  BED  !  LIE  IN  IT,  give  it  a  try  !  you've  earned  it.”  because,  frankly,  whatever  the  hell  this  guy  has  going  on  with  winter  is  none  of  his  business.  he  places  the  cup  down  in  between  them.  “also,  we're  fresh  out  of  popcorn,"  he  says,  the  popcorn  INCREDIBLY  VISIBLE  behind  his  back.  “that'll  be  fifteen  bucks.”

[invlsiblestring]

" you think i don't know what you gave up ? " he's felt guilt over it every day for the last thirteen years. but sometimes it felt like it was the only thing holding her together. " i know what you did for me. for him. " the father that stayed but never fully showed up again. always absent, even when present physically. " i know. " he goes silent for a moment. because the way the conversation is going, it sounds like she thinks he's never done anything for her. that breaks his heart more than any stupid boy in high school ever could. there'd been many fights of his own, moments of defending her, THROWING A FIST FIRST if someone so much as said her name wrong. " i wasn't supposed to be your burden. d'you think that's what i wanted for you ? " " i thought — " he shakes his head, frustrated sigh filling the space between them. " —i don't know what i fuckin' thought, alright ? we've never fought like that before. " and god, they've had some bad fights. but never to the point of prolonged silence on both ends. " wasn't sure how to go about it. figured maybe a wee bit of time without me might've been good for you. " freeing. a dead weight lifted. the sight of tears in her eyes sends him into shock. they don't to the EMOTIONAL SHTICK, never have. it feels unnatural. yet, the moment he catches glimpse, his own emotions threaten to swallow him whole. he hates himself for this. he doesn't know what else to do, how to FIX IT. all he's ever known is how to make things worse. " did hittin' me help ? " he questions, moving forward. his movements are somewhat erratic as he reaches out, catches her wrist before he can think better of it, and presses her palm hard against his cheek. " just keep hittin' me. " if anger wasn't their DEFAULT, maybe they wouldn't be in this situation. " come on, please. " he takes her hand, clumsy, desperate, and drags it back to meet his cheek once again. " hit me as many times as it takes for you to stop HATING ME. " if only they'd been taught how to talk things through. how to hug it out. process their emotions.

[earlyblues]

“WHO  SAID  YOU  WERE  A  BURDEN  ?  don't  fuckin'  put  words  in  my  mouth.”  because,  despite  it  all,  she'd  do  it  all  over  again  a  thousand  times.  he  was  always  going  to  be  her  priority,  no  matter  what.  as  lame  as  it  had  been  at  the  time,  to  hear  their  mother  spew  little  quotes  about  twins  that  she'd  surely  picked  up  from  too  much  time  on  facebook,  she  had  grown  to  understand  why  such  corny  quotes  existed.  HE  WAS  HALF  HER  SOUL  AND  HALF  HER  HEART,  AND,  WITHOUT  HIM,  SHE  HAD  FALLEN  APART. 

and  it  was  all  catching  up  to  her  now.  her  vision  is  slightly  blurred,  her  eyes  sting,  and  she's  utterly  embarrassed.  it  didn't  matter  that  it  was  only  kai  here  –  in  fact,  that  might  even  make  it  worse.  because  he's  the  only  one  who  would  be  brave  enough  to  take  the  piss  out  of  her.  thankfully,  he  doesn't.  but  she  wasn't  expecting  him  to  grab  her,  either,  and  she  almost  instinctively  pulls  her  hand  back.  if  she  were  in  a  better  state,  she'd  recognize  his  pleas  for  exactly  what  they  were.  a  white  flag. 

unfortunately,  she's  far  too  in  her  head  to  see  that.  instead,  she  does  exactly  was  he  asks.  an  open  palm  to  the  face,  a  fist  to  the  shoulder,  two  hands  on  his  chest  shoving  him  away  like  she'd  done  all  those  months  ago.  it's  all  she  can  muster  before  crouching  down,  HEAD  IN  HER  HANDS  in  defeat.  the  tears  were  streaming  down  her  face,  the  sound  coming  out  of  her  didn't  sound  human,  and  she  was  exhausted.  the  weight  of  the  world  was  no  longer  manageable  on  her  shoulders  alone,  despite  how  much  she  didn't  want  to  admit  that.  IT  WAS  TOO  MUCH,  EVEN  FOR  MAEVE  FINNEGAN.  and  maybe  that's  what's  so  embarrassing.  not  once  had  she  ever  asked  for  help,  nor  did  she  want  people  to  think  she  needed  it.  she'd  spent  so  much  time  crafting  this  image  of  herself  that  had  just  fallen  apart  in  a  few  short  months.  now,  years  of  prioritizing  everyone  else  over  herself  had  finally  caught  up  to  her  in  the  sense  that  she  doesn't  know  how  to  soothe  herself  anymore,  and  she  can  barely  breathe  in  between  sobs. 

[tiidepools]

closed   starter     for     maeve finnegan!   @earlyblues

when  he  thinks  about  it,  he's  doing  his  friends  a  service  –  after  all,  he  was  simply  poking  holes  in  their  security,  looking  for  weak  spots…  though  with  maeve,  he  understood  he  was  taking  the  risk  of  a  bat  to  the  face  with  this  stunt.  having  clambered  up  the  tree  outside  her  open  window,  he  slides  one  leg  in  first,  desperately  holding  back  the  shit-eating  grin  on  his  face  as  he  yells  to  make  himself  known.   ❛  this  is  a  lawful  entry!  i'm  just  here  to  take  back  my  rightful  property.  ❜   referring,  of  course,  to  his  black  long  sleeve,  mentioned  in  passing  a  month  ago.   ❛  shit,  this  place  is  nice,  you  need  an  apprentice?  ❜

maeve's place     /     late evening

[earlyblues]

she'd  just  put  on  her  clean  pajamas,  and  she's  halfway  through  braiding  her  freshly  washed  hair  in  her  bathroom  when  she  jumps  at  the  sudden  voice.  “jesus  christ,”  she  mutters,  one  hand  holding  her  braid  together,  the  other  pulling  the  door  open  as  she  tries  to  follow  the  sound  of  stellan's  voice.  “SHUT  THE  FUCK  UP,”  she  groans  with  a  roll  of  her  eyes  as  he  finally  comes  into  view.  still,  a  smile  lines  her  lips  (  as  it  always  does  with  stellan  ).  “and  what  rightful  property  would  that  be,  hm  ?”  she  gives  up  on  keeping  her  braid  altogether  and  lets  it  go,  just  so  she  can  cross  her  arms  as  she  leans  against  the  wall.  “an  apprentice  …  ?  no,  sorry.  A  MAID,  however  …  maybe  !  how  good  are  you  with  a  broom  and  a  mop  ?”

[yourcinluv]

honey .☘︎ ݁˖ ⋆.˚ tattoo shop, los angeles, january 13th, 2023 / @earlyblues

there are a million versions of this story honey and winston already told — they lost a bet, they're celebrating a ten year anniversary, they're long lost best friends commemorating their chance reunion in the city of lights. with every new person willing to listen, they story gets bigger, more convoluted, and almost always ends with a kiss. the reality is, winston su's birthday is fast approaching, he's recently come into a little bit of money, and the only thing he enjoys more than kissing honey anderson is kissing her after they've tricked strangers. which they happen to be very good at. unfortunately, they've spent so much time lying and kissing, none at all deciding what they would be tattooing, and when he refreshes the online waitlist, they're next up. 

“it's game time, hon,” he sighs, turning the phone to show her their status. maybe he should be more stressed than he is, but winston's inked so much dumb shit onto his body, he has a hard time believing anything honey wants could top it. hand settles high on her ribcage, thumb gently tracing her bra line over her top, grin sharp as he leans in close. “you still thinking here? shame to hide it from the world. a star should be allowed to put a star anywhere she fuckin' wants, if you ask me.” winks before nodding to the phone in her hand. “let me see the options again.”

[earlyblues]

okay,  maybe  she's  a  little  nervous  at  the  idea  of  getting  a  tattoo  …  it  hadn't  been  her  plan,  but  when  winston  had  mentioned  wanting  another  tattoo,  the  word  matching  had  come  out  of  her  mouth  before  she  could  stop  it.  and,  one  thing  these  two  had  always  been  great  at  was  IMPROVIZATION,  so  when  he  seemed  into  the  idea,  there  was  simply  no  way  she  could  take  it  back.  especially  not  when  it  came  time  to  play  the  character.  the  unconventional  newlywed,  the  odd  second  date  …  every  interaction  was  a  chance  at  acting  practice  if  you  cared  enough  –  and  she  very  much  did.

a  playful  roll  of  her  eyes  as  his  hand  makes  itself  at  home  on  her  torso.  “well,  when  i'm  ACTUALLY  A  STAR,  i  can  get  a  tattoo  wherever  i  want.  but  you  know  how  it  goes  …  when  you're  unknown,  you  have  to  look  like  a  blank  canvas.  i'd  hate  for  something  so  special  to  be  the  reason  i  don't  get  a  part."  surely  something  as  small  as  what  they  were  considering  wouldn't  hinder  her  from  any  roles,  but  honey  wasn't  going  to  take  any  chances.  “okay,  we've  narrowed  it  down  to  three  …  picking  one  shouldn't  be  that  hard,  right  ?"  she  turns  the  screen  towards  him  swiping  back  and  forth  between  all  three  pictures.  “what  do  you  think  ?  AND  YOU'RE  GOING  FIRST.”

[fcreverlasting]

"okay," he says breathlessly, then again, a little more confident. "okay." he links their pinkies, doesn't hide the shiver down his spine at her touch. "I'll be quick. make yourself at home. let me just—" fuck, he didn't even know he had this many mugs— he gathers everything on the coffee table into his arms, washing dropped carefully into the sink and papers into the recycling, with an urgency that is familiar in him, more so than the mess could ever be. he stops in the doorway, turns back around to look at her again, take the sight of her in. "feel free to sit, or nose around or whatever you want to do— there's nothing to drink, but I promise there's clean glasses in the cupboard if you want some water. right— okay, going now. I'll be quick. thank you."

[earlyblues]

she  sits  herself  down  on  the  couch  so  she  can  watch  him  bustle  around.  he’s  looking  more  like  the  nate  she  knows,  worrying  about  mess  and  cleaning  up  for  her.  THERE’S  HOPE,  she  thinks,  that  they  can  work  things  out.  she  watches  as  he  heads  to  his  room,  meeting  his  eyes  once  he  stops.  “okay.  I’LL  BE  HERE.”  as  he  leaves  her,  she  gets  up  and  moves  his  coffee  table  off  to  the  side  to  make  room  for  the  blanket.  she  puts  the  basket  on  top,  but  opts  to  keep  the  food  inside  as  her  favorite  blonde  approaches  her.  a  quiet  gasp  as  her  hands  reach  out.  “hi  my  sweet  girl  !!”  she  brings  the  dog  into  her  arms,  giving  her  a  tight  squeeze.  “don’t  tell  your  dad,  but  i  missed  you  most  of  all  …  have  you  been  giving  him  the  silent  treatment  for  me  ?”

[fcreverlasting]

"to be fair, I don't know if I'd call it a job. I think it's more of a hobby, for adrenaline seekers." he's pretty sure it's highly unlikely to be paid unless you make it on social media or in research, as in said movie. he prefers to get his kicks from jumping from heights or smashing through windows, which apparently is more obvious in him to strangers than he'd expected, because— "ding ding ding! correct. see, now I can blame not getting mine correct on banging my head a lot without it being too much of a hint." he grins, feeling a little silly. still, there is science behind it. science he ignores because it's so much more fun that way. "on a bit of a break at the moment, but I'll be back risking it all soon." he hopes.

[earlyblues]

“THAT'S  WHAT  I  WAS  THINKING  !  it's  just  not  sustainable,”  she  says  matter-of-factly,  as  if  the  life  she  desired  was  sustainable  in  any  way.  she  beams  when  he  declares  her  a  winner,  giving  herself  a  small  and  quiet  clap  of  accomplishment.  she  brings  a  hand  up  and  runs  it  through  his  hair.  “well,  do  you  at  least  know  what  day  of  the  week  it  is  ?  last  thing  i  need  is  to  be  accused  of  using  the  guy  with  poor  memory  for  a  FREE  DRINK.”  a  gentle  reminder  of  his  promise,  and  an  indicator  she'd  like  to  keep  talking.  “it  seems  like  you  want  me  to  ask,  so,  i'll  bite.”  her  hand  finds  its  way  on  top  of  his,  “what  stunt  did  you  find  the  scariest  ?  and  which  one  do  you  hate  describing  to  people  because  it  sounds  worse  than  it  actually  is  ?”

[grxndvoile]

🌿 "you never know what you want." the playful jeer is accompanied by a look of jest from across the table, before returning her attention back to the menu. "you know what always works when you can't pick? close your eyes, and randomly point your finger at something."

[earlyblues]

theodora  pouts  as  lucy  accurately  calls  her  out.  “well,  you  just  can't  get  the  same  thing  EVERY  TIME  !  i  want  to  try  everything  on  the  menu  !!”  and,  after  five  years  in  cider  point,  she  probably  has.  but,  that  wasn't  ever  going  to  stop  her  from  switching  it  up.  “that's  a  good  idea  …  I'LL  DO  IT  IF  YOU  DO  IT  !”

[yourcinluv]

to put it simply, winnie was suffocating in her childhood home. six years since she returned with her tail tucked between her legs and nothing she did was enough to distract from the shame of it all. not for her siblings, and especiallynot her parents. so, she spends as much time outside of her house as possible, tired of questions about a six year divorce and sick from having to see said ex-husband's childhood window any time she smoked out of hers. she stomps all the way to her bench, only to find some man she's never seen before already sitting in it. and maybe, on some other day, she'd let him have it. but today? she crosses her arms over her chest. "you're on my bench."

[earlyblues]

the  voice  scares  him,  and  it  shows.  he  immediately  sits  up  straight  as  if  he's  been  caught  doing  something  he's  not  supposed  to,  but  then  he  remembers  ...  he's  just  sitting  on  a  bench.  which  was  most  definitely  not  a  crime,  and  he  couldn't  even  say  it  was  frowned  upon.  there  were  no  other  people  waiting  for  the  bench,  no  children  or  pregnant  women  in  sight.  he  looks  at  her,  then  looks  to  the  side,  where  there  is  plenty  of  space.  "it's  a  pretty  decently  sized  bench."  because  he  just  doesn't  have  it  in  him  to  walk  home  just  yet.

[yourcinluv]

“fuck no!” he answers quickly, face contorting into disgust. he had eyes and, despite several accusations, a brain. he could admit that avani was a beautiful woman, but he can't imagine a single universe he'd want to make that a reality. “okay!! that's what i'm saying! and you know the craziest fucking part, honey?” pauses for dramatic effect. “they were fucking! she told me herself!” well, he asked sloane and then pestered it out of avani, but still! the words left her mouth! “no, she's pretty much hated my guts from the moment she met me.” at least, that's how he views it. and, sure, maybe he could stand to be a little less annoying, but it wasn't like he saved it exclusively for avani. winston was just annoying, and he doesn't see the point in pretending he isn't. he was working really fucking hard, shouldn't that be enough? “thank you! mind you, the motherfucker who produced west end kids was doing way worse shit on the fucking clock. does she think jack antonoff's gonna pop out of the shadows and beat her to death with an eighties synth? fuck!” once they reach her door, his free hand dips into his pocket for her keys. he unlocks it and holds it open for her to duck through. “what the hell did you do?!” this time, he yells in a whisper, not wanting to wake the beast. “actually! like, come the fuck on! would it kill her to say hello? what the fuck happened to basic human decency?”

[earlyblues]

“THEY  WERE  FUCKING  ?!”  hand  immediately  covers  her  mouth,  worried  she'd  definitely  said  that  a  little  louder  than  anticipated  (  not  that  anyone  was  listening  ).  “okay,  so  she  could  cover  her  ass  and  say  you  got  the  timeline  wrong  ?  does  nobody  know  how  to  lie  in  this  town  ?  fuck  …  ARE  WE  GOING  TO  HAVE  TO  BECOME  MORE  HONEST  ?”  that's  not  a  reality  she  thinks  either  of  them  are  able  to  tackle.  sweet  talking  and  lying  was  kind  of  their  whole  deal.  “which  is  crazy  to  me,  because  there's  so  much  to  like  !!”  honey's  not  sure  she  could  name  even  one  trait  she  disliked  about  winston.  well,  there  was  one,  but  the  last  time  she'd  commented  on  it,  it  blew  up  their  relationship  and  almost  ended  their  friendship.  “it's  just  so  crazy,  because  if  that  post  had  never  come  to  my  phone,  i  wouldn't  even  know  who  salma  was.  and  who  the  fuck  am  i  ?  anyone  who  is  anyone  isn't  checking  her  blog.  besides,  her  last  name  wasn't  even  included  !  so,  how  the  hell  would  anyone  even  find  it  ?!  in  fact,  i  think  the  only  person  who  had  their  full  name  on  blast  was  todd,  and  i  hope  it  does  clog  his  google  searches  !!”  she  waits  patiently  for  him  to  open  her  door,  walking  in  and  kicking  her  shoes  off  as  quietly  as  possible.  “everyone  in  this  town  is  brutally  honest  but  can't  even  fake  a  pleasantry  i  guess,”  she  says  with  a  roll  of  her  eyes,  handing  him  her  bag  to  put  on  the  hook  next  to  the  door.  “i  swear,  we're  the  only  NORMAL  PEOPLE  in  this  town.”