This was supposed to be an AU to fix the villains. You know, something simple and silly—give them motivations that don’t devolve into “attack everyone because villain gotta villain.”
Then we started noticing more.
As we dug into the lore to build our stories, we kept running into implications, inconsistencies, and details canon never expanded on. The kind that make you stop and go, hold on, what?
We tried to ignore them. Smooth them over. Work around them.
Then we sat down with the map.
The map looked back.
We took that personally.
So here we are.
Let us say this clearly: This is not a hate blog.
This game has brought us immense joy over the years—watching it evolve, anticipating updates, crafting theories we never shared, and then seeing some of them come true later. (The voices in the Soul Jams? Incredible.) We love this world, and we’ve done our best to follow its story as it grows.
This is a project to rebuild that world from the ground up and see what happens when you add biology, geography, psychology, and more to the core idea:
What if the fable of the Gingerbread Man became an entire world?
That’s the foundation Cookie Run is built on. We’re just making sure it holds
See you around as the castle is rebuilt.
If there’s something you want explored, come Poke The Builder.
If you’ve got broken lore or beloved pieces of canon, drop them off at Material Drop Off.
We can’t promise we’ll get to everything—but we’ll use what you bring to refine this cathedral into the glory it deserves.
Languages are some of the most fascinating aspects of societal evolution, in my eyes. Specifically, the evolution of languages is fascinating. Cookie Run doesn’t have any different languages, but pretending it does (and that we, the player, simply understand all of them) is far more fun imo. If Devsis won’t reveal the language (and cultural) evolution of their games, then I will.
(Language is intertwined with culture, so when I say ‘language’ I also often mean ‘culture’ and vice versa. I might flip-flop between the two, simply because saying ‘language and culture’ over and over again is too wordy for my taste)
Where Did Most Languages Come From?
In our world language evolved as humans got more things to name, met more people, and needed to have an agreed upon sound to call these things. This is probably true for Cookie Run as well, but I wouldn’t be mentioning the origins of language if that was the headcanon I accepted. No, I find there to be a far more interesting source for the languages these fictional baked desserts spoke.
The Witches, The Beasts
Specifically, the Witches passed down their individual languages (because you can’t tell me these ladies are all from the same country, much less the same continent) to their respective Beasts (i.e. First Milk —> Shadow Milk, First Sugar —> Eternal Sugar). The Beasts would then spread these languages to other groups of cookies, who probably evolved their languages the natural way. This mixing would lead to individual languages, each unique to that group of cookies. There was also most likely a common language uniting these different groups, closer to the common language spoken by the Witches (because again, I refuse to believe that these ladies were all from the same place).
What language would this fake tongue be a derivative of, you ask? To answer that you’d have to look at the lingua franca of the time period the Witches lived in. I’ve narrowed it down to the mid-to-late Renaissance, specifically some time after 1792. First Salt and First Sugar were burned at the stake; burning at the stake was a punishment back in Babylonian times, but you didn’t really have major ships in Babylonian times so First Milk’s backstory wouldn’t really work then. Interestingly enough it was legalized by the Byzantines, so that narrows things down further to some time after the year 330 or so. Speaking of First Milk Cookie, her backstory is similar to the story of the American Pilgrims. This does include the long sea voyage, where many people grew sick and died (good chance it was scurvy, if it was anything bacterial or viral there was a good chance First Milk would have got it too). The first modern circus was created in England in 1768. The Witch of Light (First Cream) was a princess, whose kingdom is now gone. The Kingdom of France fell in 1792, due to the French Revolution started because the people were starving. This seems to be the timeline that best fits most of the Firsts, so we’ll say they created the cookie world sometime in the early 19th century.
Therefore, the Witches’ lingua franca (at the time) was most likely French, and therefore that is where we can base most cookie languages off of (and the Beast Yeast common language).
We know next to nothing about the Witches other than the main ‘Beast-connected’ ones. First Vanilla isn’t released yet and First Berry and First Choco don’t seem to be focused on that much (by both Devsis and the fandom) compared to the aforementioned ‘Beast-connected’ witches. Without an emissary, it’s hard to say they had as much direct influence over Earthbread. That isn’t to say there is no influence, however. First Choco seems to share a good amount of similarities with the Dark Cacao Kingdom, for example. It is more likely that the influence of these Witches was less direct than the Witches in Beast Yeast, but helped build up nations and cultures. There’s more ‘cookie’ input in Crispia rather than ‘Divine-Given Tongue’, compared to Beast Yeast.
Okay Stop Talking, How Do These Affect Each Other?
It is impossible for there not to have been massive, massive amounts of immigration from Beast Yeasts when the Beasts fell. These cookies, who had a vastly different language, most likely fled to various parts of Crispia, Wholegrania, Sugartera, basically anywhere but Beast Yeast. The immigrating cookies and the cookies native to these lands now needed to agree upon sounds for the many many things that existed. This is where we can see languages evolve a bit more, mixing in the Beast Yeast tongue with the preexisting languages, creating new ones.
Mystic Flour’s Pilgrims:
The environment of Beast Yeast is warmer than Crispia, more humid. While it would be obvious to connect the Beasts to the Ancients’ cultures, there is a possibility the cookies of the Flour-Based Virtue went to the continent that’s named after Grain, which Flour is made of. There would be a good (albeit smaller) chunk of cookies who probably stayed in the area that is now the Dark Cacao Kingdom, who would have liked the stark difference from their warm climate. (We can infer the climate surrounding the Ivory Pagoda is warm due to the humidity; humidity is more common in warm areas).
Burning Spice’s Wild Spices:
Pretty obviously settled mostly in Scovillia and the Dragon’s valley. The languages here would have mixed with the nearby cookies who now make up the modern-day Hollyberry Kingdom. The similar environment would have been the main pull factor here.
Shadow Milk’s Scholars:
This is a tricky one. There isn’t a singular, definitive place we can point to and say that the cookies who surrounded Half-Price-Drapes’ best customer. Usually when this happens (and this happens quite often, for the world is not as perfect as historians’ dreams) that means the people spread out far more, in tiny groups. This would make sense, as Shadow Milk’s Spire of Knowledge would have attracted all kinds of people from all over Earthbread for the purpose of learning. Scholars are not a permanent population. When he fell, a large part of them would have retreated to their homeplaces, carrying with them their newfound knowledge and language. Though fewer words would have been spread, they would have been spread over more languages. A median of 3% of a language, over 20 languages, compared to 20% of 1 language.
Eternal Sugar’s Garden Inhabitants:
These cookies are similar to the aforementioned scholars. They aren’t a permanent population, and are shown to come and go (Despite Eternal Sugar’s wishes). Despite this, there are two contenders for where the cookies here fled to, either the Hollyberry Kingdom or Parfaedia. This is mostly due to the similar fruit theming of these kingdoms, as well as one of the sugar angels in Eternal Sugar’s garden being named ‘Fructose’.
Misc. Kingdoms, Kingdoms Derived From Other Kingdoms
The Faerie Kingdom’s language isn’t really like any other. Each of the other languages can be connected to a real-world language, based off of the real-world cultures that inspire it. The Faeries speak a musical language, to the point that their writing system is literally music notes. It’s the only different language mentioned in the entire game (other than Dragontongue, which is unfair that language is literally magic). It’s so wonderfully unique, my only complaint is that we never get to hear it. My one headcanon is that it’s a tonal language, and that it has a lot of click consonants. They also learned the language White Lily spoke, though too few generations passed for her language to permanently become part of the Faerie’s language.
The Creme Republic evolved from the Vanilla Kingdom’s language, similarly to how Old English became English. There would be a few notable differences, however. There would be a larger mixing between the language the Sea Cookies spoke and the Vanillians’ tongue, creating modern-day Vanillian. This would be the current lingua franca, and the language most Crispia cookies we see (that aren’t the ancients) speak.
Parfaedian would definitely be a derivative of Hollyberrian. It would share a lot of similarities with the modern-day Vanillian the Creme Republic speaks in terms of grammar. People who speak one often quickly pick up the other.
Yogurca evolved from the Golden Cheese Kingdom. I refuse to abandon this headcanon. I’m not even an OvenBreak player but I’ll be dead before letting this headcanon go. These guys were trading partners for so long and were in such close proximity that basically everyone in Yogurca (if they try hard enough for long enough) can trace their lineage back to the Golden Cheese Kingdom.
Overall, What Languages Match Each Kingdom?
I do like the thought of the cookie languages corresponding to irl languages and language mixes, simply because it makes it easier to think about. Obviously, it’s not a 1-1 match, but still it’s fun to think about. Some of these are kinda obvy but
Vanilla Kingdom— Old English
Hollyberry Kingdom— Italian/French Mix
Dark Cacao Kingdom— Korean (kinda obvy)
Golden Cheese Kingdom— Ancient Egyptian (also kinda obvy)
Yogurca— Arabic (also obvy)
Creme Republic— An English/French Mix, Mostly English
Parfaedia— French/English Mix, Mostly French
Dragon’s Valley (Scovillian Is An Accent)— A Derivative Of Hindi, With A Weird Amount Of Italian Thrown In
Mystic Flour’s Pilgrims— Chinese (again, obvy)
Burning Spice’s Wild Spices— Hindi (obvy once more)
Shadow Milk’s Scholars— Latin
Eternal Sugar’s Inhabitants— A Mix Of (Ancient) Greek And Their Own Native Language
Silent Salt’s Kala Namak Knights— (I have been informed that the word ‘Kala Namak’ comes from Hindi/Urdu) Some mix of Hindi and Urdu, with the Beast Yeast common language thrown in (since the Knights travel all through Beast Yeast), as well as French/Old English/Latin (for their clearly Medieval Inspirations).
idk if you're still interested (and you don't have to answer or respond to this at all if you don't want to) but I posted a new thing exploring languages in CRK in more depth (but no pressure at all ofc just letting you know cause idk if you still want to hear more about that or nah)
We ended up on a bit of tangent the other day so here are some silly sayings to use for Time Balance Department and Timestream-related characters!
Curses/Exclamations:
"Gears grind me down." (God damn me.)
"Gears of the Great Machine!"
"By the hands of the First Clock!"
"Flow forbid." (God forbid.)
"Timestream's pockets..." / "You found this in the Timestream's pockets, didn't you?" (A curse meaning complete disaster, references Time Pockets from CROB)
“Director’s scissors!” (Mild curse.)
"Flow take it." (Mild curse/Can mean “I give up” in isolation.)
"Rust and springs." (For heaven's sake.)
General Sayings:
"Do I look like a standard cog to you?" (Do I look stupid to you?/Do I look like a civilian or non TBD agent?)
"That's not how the mechanism turns." (That's not how that works.)
"Skip a tooth." / ”I skipped a tooth in my calculations.” (Make a mistake.)
"You're wound too tight." (Stressed, anxious, etc)
“Let your gears cool.” (Calm down.)
"Clocked and counted." (Everything accounted for/Yes, it's done.)
"May your gears stay meshed." (A blessing, like good luck or travel safe.)
Insults:
"You must be really spinning some stripped gears in there." (Your braincells aren’t touching/you are not intelligent.)
"You sure all your gear teeth are touching?" (Are you insane?)
"I am beginning to suspect your maintenance schedule was neglected." (You sound ridiculous/What you’re saying makes no sense.)
“You skipped a century, huh?” (You weren’t paying attention/you are unintelligent.)
“Smooth-geared.” (Smooth-brained.)
“Right, and the Gold Kirin was caught.” (Incredulity, dis-belief.)
“Might as well hang a flag with your work.” (You’re acting like a time pirate.)
Field Agent Specific:
“Only a Time Manipulator could fix this.” (Complete disaster.)
“Looks like the Director’s work.” (Either amazing or terrible, depending on context.)
“We’ll need a fleet for that.” (Call back up.)
“Who let a cog-cat in here?” (Similar to “it looks like a tornado went off in here.”)
“A universal translator couldn’t fix that sentence.” (You make no sense.)
Historical Accuracy Division Specific:
“You look like a Beastborn in the Dark Flour War.” (You look out of place/lost.)
“Who tailored this century?” (Who approved this?)
“Don’t pull that thread.” (Do not investigate that.)
“That’s a tangled bobbin.” (Complicated and not knowing where to start.)
“Mind your seams.” (Keep your story straight.)
“Your seams are showing.” (I can tell you’re lying/your lie has holes.)
“Don’t unpick that.” (Leave it alone.)
“You’re missing your backstitch!” (You don’t know your fundamentals.)
“Your pattern is off.” / “The original pattern didn’t look like this.” (Your time fix is incorrect.)
“This timeline has too many patches.” (You’re fixing the problems instead of addressing the root cause.)
“I can see the repair work.” (Someone meddled in history here.)
“Cross-reference?” (Where did you get that?/Citation needed.)
Tell us if you can come up with anymore, or can think of some for the other divisions! :D We love worldbuilding languages
Everyone in crk seems to have the same language, which is obviously because the story couldn’t happen the way it does if there was an obvious language barrier between characters, but it is fascinating to think about how different languages would affect different characters (i.e. Dark Choco).
If there were different languages between different kingdoms and lands in crk, did Dark Choco have a hard time when he first joined the Cookies of Darkness? He was a prince so he obviously learned the other major kingdoms’ languages and Earthbread’s lingua franca, but the Dark Cacao Kingdom was extremely isolated. Did Dark Choco learn old-fashioned, outdated versions of the languages he studied? Even if not, did he struggle to understand the other COD members? Did he have to force himself to improve his other language skills just to understand the orders Pomegranate would have given him? Pomegranate doesn’t seem like the type to slow down or repeat her sentences, did Dark Choco’s potential struggle contribute to why she despised him so?
And what about Licorice? Did he struggle as well? Did they both get excited at the thought of finally meeting another COD member from the Dark Cacao Kingdom, someone they should understand easier? And did their hopes get shattered once they realized their dialects were different? If the citadel was so isolated, and the Licorice Tribe farther out near the outskirts, did the two evolve completely separate accents that sounded all but foreign to one another’s ears?
Did Dark Choco get excited once more when Affogato first joined the COD? Did he think there would finally, finally, be someone who could understand him? Did Dark Choco’s excitement wane, replaced by horror and dread, as Affogato began talking in sounds that—while familiar, achingly familiar—seemed to hold less or little-to-no meaning any more? Did Dark Choco replace his native tongue—and, by extension, his country, his culture, his traditions, his father, and allll the memories he had of his past and former princehood—for a new one?
What about when he returned? In Beast Yeast 4 Dark Choco was mentioned either not speaking or not showing his face (iirc). On top of just not wanting to be recognized, it could also be him not wanting to be reminded that he struggled with the language he used to dream in.
If he ever returns to princehood and reunites with his father, it is a very real possibility that he has to re-learn the basics of a language he used to have complete mastery over. A humiliating thing; the adult prince, the former prodigy, now being taught the equivalent of fifth grade language arts by a tutor. This fate, the fear of this fate, could contribute to why he stays away so much (aside from the obvious in-game stuff).
Saw someone post Elder Faerie’s trust lines on Twitter, and it was a TITLE all along?! Does he just not have a name??? (I mean, I lowkey had my suspicions, but still)
Devsis explain!!! Every time I learn something new about this man I get more and more desperate for his full backstory
Designed Cacao and Vanilla for this AU in… forty minutes exactly? I don’t know how we did that but here are our old man mountain gays
Dark Cacao is a lightning channeler, a polar bear, and was born greyscale blind. He is considered a Frostmarch Inlander
Pure Vanilla is a mountain sheep, a shepherd-healer king, and was born with 50% visual snow (not fully blind). He is considered a Wholegrainian Mountainfolk
And Miru—Vanilla’s beloved flower—is staying a flower in this AU and is actually apart of a species called Flora Serpentus, native to Vanilla’s homelands and are often kept as pets. Vanilla’s is trained as a seeing eye animal! It perches on his staff and will bite people who scare Vanilla
(Vanilla got Cacao a Flora Serpentus. It’s a Hellebore (Christmas Rose) and is named Saeg. It hides in Cacao’s cloak or stays at home, and Cacao is fiercely protective of the little creature.)
And the second fic is up! Our roommate really enjoyed this one when we let her read it, so here we are with soup! We'll finish the second chapter... hopefully soon. We're almost done, we swear. XD
Okay. So we have six pages of an analysis essay on the Lights of Virtue and how they relate to Aristotle’s Golden Mean and that’s why they are dangerous. We have been trying to complete it for a week.
Keep in mind this essay was entirely voluntary as we are 21 and work EMS while not in school
Our brain didn’t wanna do that because ADHD reasons
That was NOT an invitation to make two divergent fae species based off the Maze Grove and Faeriewood respectively where one is a low-predator-pressure floral species and the other is a high-predator-pressure insectoid species. That was not!
… But yeah now we have most of the species design for two fae species and just need to draw the diagrams. We’ll get around to it.
Hopefully before we post our Eldersalt fic because we need the Faeriewood/Beast-Yeast fae for Elder Faerie’s anatomy.
