“Good.” Dan snaps back, fingers digging into his arms so
roughly, it’s bound to leave bruises. It wasn’t any secret
that his relationship with his parents was shitty, no doubt
broken beyond repair, and as much as he may resent them,
the fact they broke a multi-year silence just to chew him out
stings. And stating the issue aloud feels a bit like salt in the
wound. Still, Dan appreciates even just his friend’s company,
even more so after months of isolation.
The silence that falls between them is relieving, yet uncomfortably
thick. Sure, it follows the pattern of most every conversation they
have, yet this one feels.. different. With such a heavy topic, Dan
almost feels as if there should be some sort of further discussion.
Just as he opens his mouth to say something– anything– his hands
become occupied with the space of Brutus. It’s a small gesture,
but, at that moment, truly does mean the world to Dan.
After all the shit Dan’s dragged Chris through, he’s still there for
him. It doesn’t make much sense, and probably never will, but
God, is he thankful for it. A sigh, and the corners of his mouth fall
into a frown.
“I dunno why it bugs me, man.” He mumbles, a few more beats
of silence passing before he shuffles over to the couch and plops
down besides Chris. His gaze remains locked on Brutus, thumbs
absently stroking the bear’s fabric. “It’s just– I haven’t seen or
talked to ‘em in years, y’know? I don’t care what they’ve got to
say anymore. I mean, I shouldn’t care. Right?”
The words rang true, oh so true. This was the key difference between
Dan and Chris. Animosity and rage versus good will and a calm nature, aggressive
tendencies versus submissive ones, Chris being pushed over, and Dan doing the
pushing. Behind that, how they each respectively thought of their parents and how
they would conform to their expectations. Chris would vigorously attempt to fulfill
each and every standard they wanted him to fulfill, caring to the fullest in what they
thought of him. But rather than conform to every demand, Dan would do the exact
opposite. Either not care what the hell they thought or, perhaps, attempted to seek
out acceptance for who he was rather than try to live by their guidelines. Live life
the Dan way, but be loved by living out his own code.
From Chris’ perspective, Dan was living under a guise that he didn’t
care what his parents thought, but in reality he cared too much -- but was unwilling
to budge or change. Rather than conform for a better life, live life how he was and
take what would come with him. And what was always with him? Chris. All his life
Chris would conform to his parents and Dan. The major conflict in Chris’ life was to
choose between who to conform to, Dan or his parents when he was presented
with an ultimatum by his parents: find a wife. And his best friend, who sometimes
felt like Chris was his and his alone took offense to this, and would do anything in
his power to make sure his best friend wouldn’t marry his life away, or potentially
leave him. Elise was the manifestation of everything that could go wrong in his own
life -- conforming to parents, parent expectation, and losing Chris. And here Chris
was, by Dan’s side in an effort to soothe him. And here, when the power that Dan’s
parents had on his psyche was clearly evident, there was only way to break the
eternal cycle that would trap Dan in his apartment forever.
The words rang through his head over and over, they weren’t said very
aggressively as per Dan’s norm, but it was a representation of who was in Chris’ heart
and that was a complete farce. Dan was truly the one in his heart. Chris absentmindedly
slipped his fingers into one of the pockets of his cargo pants and gently pulled the locket
out, opening it and revealing the picture. “ I’ve cared all my life, Dan. This is proof
enough of that. ” A scoffing chuckle escaped his lips, what a mistake that was. He
repeated the words in his head, break the unending chain of conforming to parents
and he would have Dan back. A conversation could only hold so much, his presence
could only help so much. A symbolic action, a change was the only way to get Dan
back in this world. Break the locket, break cycle. He grabbed Dan’s hand for a few
moments, letting go before he stood, a blank expression with his back to Dan. A bit
of a windup, and with all his strength he threw the opened symbol of everything his
friend would came to hate in this world, smashed against the wall. Broken, smashed,
and on the floor.
He returned to his seat, once again holding Dan’s hand and stared into his
eyes, smiling as the silence and echoes of emptiness once again spread through
the trashed walls of the dingy apartment. But it was a happy silence, a necessary
silence. One that I’m sure wouldn’t break without happier words being uttered. A
binding contract was broken with his parents, opening the door for Dan to do the
same. It was the first contract needing to be broken, and the second would be sure
to follow. Chris needed Dan to live, and in rare moments Dan needed Chris to bring
him back to the world. Snap him back into his raging reality from his depressed and
reclusive one.
“ But I suppose I don’t care anymore.
You say you don’t, Dan, but I’m not so sure.
It’s time to let go. They’re gone, you don’t
need them........
prguitarman
jacobvanloon
yousharknotpass
amandla
dailybridgerton
titsay
areudirty
gracieabrams
snowghoul
