Going to visit my grandmother today! She may be in her 60's but in reality she is still mentally an AuDHD 15 year old in 1979 so every interaction with her is always a trip.
A few facts about my grandmother:
She once broke into her own apartment by jumping through the skylight and fracturing her heel.
She had a near death experience via choking on a sonic mozzarella stick in the bathroom
She has a three legged dog named Punk and a four legged dog who can only use three of her legs called Tripod or Girl
She once had a Boston terrier that would exclusively hump carebears
She has a special interest in horses
Her OCD results in obsessive cleaning and storage bins full of purses
She rearranged her living room on a bi-weekly basis
She is afraid of cancer but refuses to wear sunscreen or to stop smoking. Yes she knows the risks. No she doesn't care.
She doesn't know how seasonal allergies work. Yes it's been explained, she just doesn't get it.
She is functionally illiterate and has the reading level of a first grader at best. She may be dyslexic. No one knows for sure.
She has a collection of street signs. No one knows where she got them from.
Her type is men is: Horse Dude or Motorcycle Dude. Her current boyfriend is technically both.
She's still technically married to my maternal grandfather. She knows this. He does not.
She cannot smoke weed because it makes her paranoid. My mother vividly remembers my grandmother driving very slow on a freeway because of this
My grandmother has peroxided her hair so much it used to be corn yellow.
She is often described as "flighty"
She is oddly proficient with a hoolahoop
Her current addictions are cigarettes, Dr. Pepper, and Nacho Cheese Doritos. Probably gambling too. This may be subject to change within the next ten years.
She once got honked at while in a drive thru. Her response was to stick her head out of the car and yell "Eat your mother!" No she doesn't know what she meant by that.
I tried to explain ruminating to her once. She ruminated on the word itself for like two hours.
Just to name a few things. There's so much more. Even this is just a skimming the tip of the iceberg of her lore. She cannot be described. There are no words in the English language that can fully encapsulate her. You can only experience her.
yousharknotpass
izzy806
titsay
janainaart
germansingergirl
