Sam Witwer, you magnificent bastard

Maul is my pookie hurt/comfort lover 26 | ♉️ | infj

[echosrobotarm]

I got this tattooed on sunday and I’m so in love I might throw up

[echosrobotarm]

I have an extraordinarily lengthy history with writing fanfic that I ultimately give up on because I lose interest or motivation in continuing the story, but over the past week I’ve toyed around with a fic about Maul and idk if anything would be different this time but I’m challenging myself to keep going.

I probably won’t fully tag this post; it’s more of an online journal entry for me to refer back to shortly down the line to either prove to myself I could do it, or it’ll just be my reminder that I can’t be trusted to write more than a one-shot 🫪 I had a Crosshair fic I worked on for a long time that I ultimately couldn’t decide on where I wanted the story to go and so I deleted the parts I’d posted because unfinished fics make me sad when I stumble upon them and I’m not really one to return to a work I’ve fully given up on, so I couldn’t even really call it a hiatus for the few people who were reading as it was posted.

I’m trying to change and solidify my process by writing the high-level plot points from start to finish before I start actually writing, and the only reason I hesitate to post what I have currently is because I have the beginning and end but lack clarity some of the middle and I want to do more research before deciding if I want it to be more canon-compliant or just make it easier on myself and allow myself to deviate from the original material more (I struggle a fair bit with allowing myself to be wrong or lore-inaccurate, and so I often end up scrapping ideas before they’re even fully cooked because I don’t want to be perceived as dumb if I write a part of the universe incorrectly, even though I know that’s entirely a me thing). I am a bit of a literal, and very much over-analyze and scrutinize myself and my work, even though I’ve never really received the type of criticism that I would give myself.

I also took a two-year break from Star Wars media that I’ve only recently really gotten past, and I’m fully ready to rededicate my time to the fandom, particularly because the tumblr community has always been such a comfort to me, so I would love, at the ripe age of 26, to finally write a completed fic, even if it only ever capped out at like 15k words. I’ve written about 5.5k in this first “chapter” of my current story, which gives me hope that, even if it’s not the plot I currently have, I could do it, but I’ve also always found it easier to start than to see it through.

I think most people who followed this account followed because I was posting about Destiel a lot, and while there’s sometimes overlap between the fandoms, I don’t blame the few people who might see this for ignoring or scrolling, but if any writers do see this and have read this far in my rambling, I would love recommendations or tips of really any kind for how to keep yourself motivated to write

[echosrobotarm]

biblical levels of greed when it comes to how much I want Maul

[queer-irritator]

It’s a hard life when you’re in love with Obi-wan AND Maul

[i-have-no-soul]

maul shadow lord is a great show cause where else am i gonna see a plucky teen commit grand theft auto before it hard cuts to darth maul having the worst day of his fucking life

[bnuuwitch]

maul.png

[royaltrashkin]

[echosrobotarm]

it’s starting

[echosrobotarm]

spn fam, how we feeling?

[scoobydoodean]

SAM So, same pattern, same victim pool – just like when we were kids. AMY No, I – it's not what – look, I'm not – I've had the same job for the last six years. I – I have a house, two cats, a mortgage. I have a normal life.

Instead of saying out the gate that she hasn't fed on humans for years and years and that she had no choice in this specific instance, Amy's very first point of protest is "I have a mortgage".

That is insane to me. But also so delicious in terms of the social class dynamics that tend to play into Sam's storylines.

While Amy's son is certainly the catalyst and her mother's M.O. helps define the victim pool, I can't help but feel the specific choice to define her "goodness" via upward mobility first and foremost suggests Amy believes that being middle class justifies her taking the lives of addicts who hang out in parks at night. They're beneath her on the class ladder. They don't have homes (like she once didn't—like Sam once didn't) but now she's "better". She's "managing".

[scoobydoodean]

Her victims have been in and out of jail for petty offenses like drug possession. We know Sam has struggled to show sympathy in the past when criminals were the victim pool.

DEAN: It's 100 percent sure. I wouldn't have gone if it wasn't. I mean, come on, man, this place has all the signs of a haunting. Innocent people are dead. Four so far. SAM: [laughs sarcastically] Yeah, innocent. DEAN: You from Texas all of a sudden? Just because these people are in jail, doesn't mean they deserve to die. If we don't stop this thing, people are going to continue to die. We do this job wherever it takes us.

2.19 Folsom Prison Blues

Amy bolsters Sam against his insecurities. She tells Sam that being a freak means you're better.

YOUNG SAM Okay, but be honest – I mean, moving all the time sucks. You're always the new kid, and everyone always thinks you're a freak. YOUNG AMY Sam, you are a freak. But so was, I don't know, Jimi Hendrix and... Picasso. So am I. All the coolest people are freaks.

When they're kids, Amy tries to get Sam to run away with her and be freaks together, but he tells her no—he doesn't want to accept freak status. He doesn't want to be with a monster girl. He wants to go to school. Things have changed when they meet as adults. Sam has embraced being a freak for a while—accepted it.

Remember what Sam said in 4.15 (another episode about Sam accepting his freak side—burying those insecurities under a sense of purpose and specialness):

SAM Look, I don't want them to die, either, Dean, but there's a natural order. DEAN You're kidding, right? SAM What? DEAN You don't see the irony in that? I mean, you and me, we're like the poster boys of the unnatural order. All we do is ditch death. SAM Yeah, but the normal rules don't really apply to us, do they? DEAN stares. DEAN We're no different than anybody else. SAM I'm infected with demon blood. You've been to hell. DEAN looks away. SAM Look, I know you want to think of yourself as Joe the Plumber, Dean, but you're not. Neither am I. The sooner you accept that, the better off you're gonna be.

4.15 Death Takes A Holiday

Is it any wonder that Sam was fine with letting Amy go and Dean wasn't?

Is it any wonder that Sam said:

SAM Put you or me in her position, we'd probably do the same thing.

When Dean's had that chance before and turned from that path because he couldn't bring himself to let someone die just to get Sam back?

I think perhaps there's a part of Sam that believes serving a higher purpose gives them a right to consume. And it feels like he applies that status to Amy as well.

Bonus: Sam and Human Sacrifice gifset

[scoobydoodean]

Friendly reminder also:

Amy never showed remorse for her actions. Not once.

At no point did she admit that what she did was wrong.

At no point did she admit that she went too far and she shouldn't have done it.

At no point did she indicate that the lives of the people she killed had any value outside their capacity to serve as food.

At no point did she say "I knew I shouldn't have done it but I just loved my son too much and had a moment of weakness".

She was actively still murdering destitute people in parks at night while Sam was on her tail—him pointing a mirror at what she was doing never made her feel bad.

She just shrugged and said "Well it's done now and it can't be changed."

She just shrugged and said "Well I have a mortgage and two cats and a good job."

I can absolutely fucking guarantee if Amy had been killing joggers wearing North Face and fancy watches, walking expensive dog breeds in the park, this fandom would not defend her the way it does.

[echosrobotarm]

i hit 100 followers by talking about my favorite silly little boyfriends in supernatural in big 2024 🥹 this fandom will never die. the truly indomitable spirit of heller nation. i love y’all sm

[queermania]

it is unfathomable to sam that other people have feelings that also matter. if sam is upset then he is in the right no matter what the sequence of events that led to that situation are. 😖

[darkshrimpemotions]

Oh my god I forgot that Martin didn't just stumble on Benny as a hunter. Sam actually SENT him after Benny. God I really fucking hate Sam in season 8 SO FUCKING MUCH. That should've been on the damn Sam Crimes poll.

[trialssam]

You guys are so funny because Sam didn't send Martin to kill Benny, just to track him, and Sam even talked to Dean about it because, well, Sam didn't even know Benny, but wanted to trust his brother (even when Dean didn't trust Sam and killed Amy in s7), Sam would have acted differently towards Benny if he knew him, but Dean didn't give him the chance, so...

My favorite part in the episode is when Dean changed Amelia's number to scare Sam so he could deal with the Benny thing alone, even when he knew Sam's history with people dying because of their lives, I love when Dean violate Sam's privacy 🙂

[darkshrimpemotions]

Oh yeah totally, Dean causing Sam some temporary fear and worry in a desperate attempt to solve a problem Sam created after Sam clearly demonstrated Dean couldn't trust him in this situation is WAY worse than Sam sending a hunter he KNEW was unstable after someone he didn't know because *checks notes* he wanted so badly to trust Dean. Love it when Sam's way of trusting Dean is to do something which clearly states he doesn't trust him at all. 🙄🙄🙄

[swordofsun]

And we're just going to ignore the fact that Martin and Sam knocked Dean out and handcuffed him to a radiator before leaving to kill Benny? For something Benny didn't do? That Dean had evidence of and vouched for?

Yeah, Sam really wanted to trust Dean. Trust him so much he risked a brain bleed.

[scoobydoodean]

Oh wait sorry actually I do have something to add to this and it's that Sam comparing Amy and Benny isn’t something meant to be taken at face value imo. Amy murdered 4 people—people she felt were easy targets because they were alone and poor and the police wouldn't care about them. She also admitted to doing it. There wasn't a question of whether she'd killed anyone or not. She did it, and she wasn't sorry she did it either, because those people meant nothing to her.

The reason Sam assigned Martin to track Benny was because, despite making the comparison with Amy himself, Sam still knew the situations weren't the same. He wanted to catch Benny doing something specifically because he knew the situations weren't the same (without evidence Benny was doing anything wrong) and that it would be hypocritical to go after Benny when they'd let Kate go just 5 episodes ago.

By attaching a mentally unstable hunter to Benny, Sam put multiple people's lives in danger. Martin's, Benny's, and Elizabeth's, and it was all so he could find a reason to murder Benny... because he was jealous. Sam knew from 8.06 that Dean trusted Benny, and he couldn't stand Dean trusting someone more than him, even though Sam knew he didn't deserve Dean's trust or anyone else's frankly. He couldn't stand the thought of a person Dean depended on more than him existing at the time, even while actively planning to leave hunting and Dean behind the moment their business with Kevin was concluded.

[captain-flint]

i’m literally obsessed with jensen’s acting in this scene i’m obsessed with those loud microexpressions i’m obsessed with whatever is going on in his head in the 3rd and 5th gif especially i’m obsessed i’m obsessed i’M OBSESS-

[jenmishamiga]

The number of antis who say Jensen did no acting in this scene except to look like he didn’t care tells me they’ve never actually watched this scene. He’s tremendous in it.

[morganaconda]

[paunchjournal]

this was so normal….

[ambiguousdisorderken]

10.09 || 14.14 - talk to me.