I'm coming out: Why one student came out to fund a surgery
Mr. Collins holds up his first bottle of testosterone. Photo taken by Mallory Meyer.
International Transgender Day of Remembrance is to commemorate those who have been killed due to transphobia. This year, it was observed on Nov. 20. And for some in the transgender community, it is also about remembering how far they’ve come since they first came out.
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“I first realized I was transgender around age 16 or 17,” says Donald Collins, a 20-year- old sophomore visual media arts major at Emerson College. “I’d been dressing and presenting androgynously for about two years, but it wasn’t enough.”
“I realized that what I had been feeling was what people would call transgenderism, which is gender dysphoria, a gender identity problem.”
Mr. Collins now identifies as a trans* man. Trans* is an umbrella term that includes transexuals, cross dressers, non-binary people, etc. According to a report released in April 2011 by the Williams Institute, anywhere from 0.3% to 0.5% of the population is transgender, or about 1 in 200 Americans. However, these numbers vary as the US Census Bureau doesn’t ask for gender identity when collecting census information.
Mr. Collins came to the conclusion that he was trans* after he volunteered as a tutor for children at a grade school. When he returned to his home at night, his thoughts would drift to “intense jealousy” of the boys at the school.
Perhaps, he says, his life would have been much better, and make much more sense, if he was born as male. Now, looking back to when he was living as a girl in elementary school and middle school, he says that something always felt off; he connected with boys rather than girls his own age.
His story is like many young adults born in the 80’s, 90’s, or 2000’s. A consensus report from 2011 funded by the National Institutes for Health says, “transgender persons who are visibly gender role nonconforming in childhood tend to come out at an early age. For the older generations, this was typically during adolescence or early adulthood; today’s generation typically comes out in childhood or shortly after the onset of puberty.”
The early manifestation of his transgender identity showed in Mr. Collin’s outward appearance- always wearing men’s “hawaiian button-up shirts, khaki shorts, socks up to [his] knees, and had [his] hair cut like a surfer, like really shaggy” in elementary school.
“I got kicked out of a roller skating rink when I was a kid on all girl’s skate cause they didn’t believe I was a girl and I was like 10 [years old].”
Once his peers started puberty in middle school, he tried to fit in as one of the girls, and forced himself to wear women’s clothing to conform. He realized that this wasn’t for him and slowly went back to wearing oversized men’s clothing in secret so his mother wouldn’t find out.
Then in high school, after figuring out the word for how he was feeling inside, he confided in his then therapist. A week later, after much research, he began to use an ace bandage to artificially flatten his chest.
“I wasn’t even sure if I was going to transition or that I considered myself male but I knew that I wasn’t fitting into the female gender.”
Once he fully came to terms with his identity, Mr. Collins looked into hormone replacement treatment and surgeries, such as a hysterectomy and chest reconstruction surgery (CRS), that he would be interested in. According to the Williams Institute report, only .1% to .5% of the population makes strides to transition in the form of hormones, seeing a gender therapist, or having a wide variety of transgender related surgeries.
On December 2, 2011, Mr. Collins started to medically transition. Since then, he gives himself a shot of testosterone every two weeks.
These injections cost $125 for a five month’s supply. This alone is feasible for him, but there were other fees for his legal name change, blood work, therapy copays, and travel to and from his doctor’s office. Together, he estimates within the last year alone, he spent anywhere from $4,000 to $5,000.
While he does have a student insurance plan through Emerson College that could pay for these charges, he paid mostly out of pocket. Aetna Student Health, the college’s insurance plan, covers very few expenses for transgender students. His chest reconstruction surgery, or top surgery as it is commonly referred to as in the transgender community, will cost around $8,000. This won’t be covered by Aetna.
This is fairly common practice by health care providers. A report put together by the National Center for Transgender Equality and the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force says, “the high costs of gender-related surgeries and their exclusion from most health insurance plans render these life changing (in some cases, life-saving) and medically necessary procedures inaccessible to most transgender people.” In the report, 19% of those surveyed say that they have been refused medical care because of their gender identity. 19% also did not have health insurance, compared to 17% of the general population.
Originally, he planned to fund his entire transition. His mother was unsupportive of his decision to transition and he didn’t want to ask for help from peers. He raised $2,000 by himself for his chest reconstruction surgery, but he was $6,000 short.
That is why on Sunday, December 2, 2012, Mr. Collins posted on his personal Facebook that he is female to male transgender, or FtM. He asked for friends, family members, and acquaintances to spread the word about his need for donations.
“This decision [to come out and ask for help] was definitely a lot, and I worried about it for months. I had been thinking about it all summer, but the fact is top surgery is something that I really need both physically, because I’ve been binding for so long, and mentally, because body dysphoria can get really bad the longer you put it off.”
He started a ChipIn account for people to donate online and also has a jar in his resident hall suite for people to donate in person. Mr. Collins also hopes to have a college wide fundraiser within the next few months.
His suitemate, Caroline Lacy, 19, a sophomore performing arts major at Emerson College, has known him and that he was transgender since the beginning of the 2011- 2012 school year.
“Now, seeing him come out to everyone, and knowing that it could have possible consequences to some people… it’s just extremely brave and I’m really proud of him for doing it… and being okay with asking for help because that’s one of the hardest things to do,” says Ms. Lacy.
This supportive mentality has carried over to his peers. He estimates that in four days he has already raised $600.
“It’s really amazing… I even talked to a few of my classes and people would come up to me afterward and shake my hand and give me five dollars. I don’t know how it will go in the long run but I hope it will continue to go as well as it’s going,” Mr. Collins says. “All the support people have shown so far has made me feel a lot better [for coming out] and asking for help.”
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