Whenever I go somewhere, whether it be to a doctor’s appointment, to the local coffeeshop, or simply walking my dog around the block, I’ll inevitably bump into someone who smiles at me (I know, I live in a friendly place.) and says, “How are you doing today?”Â
This is a loaded question.Â
If I’m feeling particularly self-conscious of the fact that I’m a writer, I’ll respond, “I’m doing well,” but if I’m too tired or just feel like being more relaxed I’ll say, “I’m good.”Â
If I go with the former, I feel like I’m being too formal, snobby, and a tad stuck-up. But if I go with the latter, then I’m opening myself up to self-hate and ridicule. Because, after I answer, I’ll always reciprocate the ask. And if the person responses with, “I’m well,” then I feel like a dummy who didn’t use English correctly, and I should walk through the streets naked with people throwing fruit at me and yelling, “Shame!”Â
Why does it matter which way I answer? Why make a big deal of it?Â
Let’s start with the basics. When to use these words:Â
Good: (adjective)Â describes a job, aka a noun.
Well: (adverb) describes an action, aka a verb, and answers the question of how.Â
Now let’s use them in a sentence:Â
Good describes day, which is a noun, so good is an adjective.Â
Well describes how the day went, so well is an adverb.Â
This is where things get fuzzy. You might think, but I is a noun! Then shouldn’t that mean when someone asks “How are you?” that I should answer with, “ I am good”?Â
In fact, when someone asks how you are, they are referring to your physical self. Think of the question as, “How is your body doing?” Since your answer reflects how you are doing, your response must describe the verb to do, so the correct response would be, “I am doing well.”Â
Here’s the coveted loophole: If someone asks how you are doing, but is referring to your mental health, then they are, in fact, referring to you, the noun. Then it is correct to says, “I am good.”Â
Now that you’re sufficiently armed with the basics of well vs. good, the next time someone casually asks, “How are you?” feel free to answer with a confident, “I am good,” and assume they are obviously referring to your mental health. No guilt necessary.Â