Please consider- pack breeder for several alpha werewolves ๐๐๐
One breeder. A whole pack to satisfy. Hell yesss!!!
NFSW werewolf pack x reader
Imagine this: you are the pack breeder. You have the utmost respect and highest position. You are your packโs priority. They make love to you, wolf after wolf, claiming you in every way, in every position imaginable. Pounding you full, flooding you with their seed, leaving you a mess and scented with them.
You carry their pups, their future. And you love it. You want their knots, their scents, their warmth and cum in you no matter what. You want to be fucked and taken till you canโt walk. Till you canโt think.
You want their wildness and their softness, too. Because after theyโd wrecked you in every way, your pack takes care of you, cleaning your sore stretched holes, feeding you, cuddling you and whispering how precious you areโฆ how beautiful you look carrying their pups. And that is how blessed your life is
For @stevieweek Day 6: Queer culture | M | 1997 | Steddie | some gender dysphoria (voice), cat lady stevie universe sequel, transfem Steve, age gap, pre-relationship, spice&fluff
Stevie Week: Day 1 | Day 2 (art) | Day 3 (art) | Day 4 | Day 5 | Day 6 | Day 7
!We dive straight into smut but it's not very descriptive!
Steph makes a few aborted sounds in her throat before slapping her hand against her mouth while Eddie pounds into her. Her muffled sounds make him look up and notice that she's silencing herself and his hips still.ย
She blinks up at him, confused at his sudden stillness.
"Does it not feel good?" he asks with a slight pout to his lips.
She shakes her head immediately.
"It does," she croaks out before slapping the hand back over her mouth. Eddie frowns.
"Then I want to hear it. Please."
She shakes her head again, but it's small and hesitant this time. She spreads her fingers, not ready to take the hand away, but wanting to be heard.
"I can't control my voice, you know..." She makes a vague gesture to her mouth, her neck, and the vocal cords beneath. "Like this. There's only so much estrogen can do."
Eddie's heart breaks for her. He sits back, most of him slipping out, and caresses her thigh.ย
"What do you mean?"
She sighs, but the soft touch on her skin helps her calm down and gather her thoughts.ย
"Hormones don't just... change my voice. They kind of help expand my vocal range so that I can hit the higher notes, and sound the way I do every day. But I can still use the lower notes, and sometimes they just... slip out." She winces.
"Stevie." She looks up at him. "Stephanie, Steph." Eddie leans forward again, and she presses her lips together when his dick moves inside her too. "You're a woman, and your voice won't change that, not to me. I want to know I make you feel good. I want to hear it's so good you can forget yourself, and let loose. I want you to trust me that it won't change how I see you."
Despite his words and the blush on her cheeks, she doesn't seem convinced. So he adds, mercilessly:
"Please."
Stephanie nods and lets him take her hand away from her face. He presses his lips to her palm, watching her cheeks redden further.
"Thank you."
Wayne has taught him to be polite and respectful to women but he never knew such simple words would make someone squirm under him like that. It makes him want to bring her flowers and kiss her goodnight, knowing she'll eat it up and turn these beautiful shades of pink and crimson just for him.
He presses her hand to the mattress and resumes his movements. Slow at first, because his dick lost the plot for a second, but as soon as he felt himself get into full hardness again, he braced himself with the intent to bruise.
"Let me hear you," he said, slamming into the woman beneath him.ย
She whimpered, at first, and Eddie let her ease into it, observing her slowly part her lips and let the music flow. The breathy little ohs and ahs, the whines that follow, and finally, when he hit the right spot, a choked-off moan.
"Like that," he praised immediately. "Shit, you sound so hot."
And when she looked into his eyes, moaning and whining unashamedly, her self-consciousness gone, Eddie lost it.
He dove down to bite into her mouth and she accepted it happily, sharing her moans, the high ones, and the low ones, directly into him. With her free arm, she grasped his shoulder, trying to pull him even closer, and he let go of her other hand so they could wrap around each other, pressing tight until their bones crushed, only their mouths and hips allowed to move freely.
"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god," Eddie chanted into the corner of her mouth. "Steph."
"Eddie. I'm gonnaโ"
It's all the warning he gets before her heels dig into his back to pull him impossibly deeper and she comes. Her blunt nails digging into his skin are the last straw for him.ย
"Fuck!" he grits out, spilling into the condom, and his thrusts finally weaken, turning into a shallow sway until he stills, breathing heavily against her neck, where he presses his mouth because not touching her wherever he can right now would be torture. Slowly, as he regains control over his muscles, he starts pressing light kisses there.ย
"You were perfect. So beautiful. So hot. And you sound divine."
Despite his body's protests, he pushes himself up, because he needs to look her in the eyes.
"So good I could record you and take you with me to Indy, for the lonely nights."
"Oh my god, stop." She turns her head away, face twisting with embarrassment. But Eddie presses on.ย
"Those little moans you make, the ohs," he tries to imitate the breathy sounds she made and watches her cheeks bloom. "The ahs. Perfect. Thank you for letting me hear them."
"Uh, sure," she offers.
Eddie raises an eyebrow.ย
"You sound like you don't believe me."
All she can give him to that is a shrug. So he moves his hips, making her hiss from how sensitive she is, and pulls out from her. He can feel her eyes following as he gets up to dispose of the condom and goes for the door, closed against the four-legged intruders.ย
"Towel? Shower?" he asks, but she shakes her head, lifting herself on her hands to point towards the window.
"Just throw me this one. It's going into the laundry anyway."
Eddie grabs the towel, smelling faintly of hair conditioner, off the radiator. Instead of handing it over though, he sits on top of Stephanie's thighs to wipe the cum off her belly himself.ย
"Such a gentleman," she comments, with amusement in her tone.ย
"Well, I try to treat a lady how she deserves to be treated." He gives her his winning smile, the one he uses to charm his way out of trouble and get an extra cookie at the cafeteria. It must be working, because she finally softens, the lines on her forehead smoothing out as her expression opens up like she's starting to believe his words.ย
"You saw my... you know."
"Sure did." Eddie nods with a cheeky grin. "And she's pretty like the rest of you." He grabs her dick to clean thoroughly around it and wipes gently at the tip to make his point. Steph's breath hitches at the way he addresses her genitals.ย
"And you heard my voice."
"I hear It all the time," he points out, nudging her knees up to gently wipe the lube from around her rim.
"Yeah, but not like this," she says, lowering her voice on purpose. Her eyes are piercing and testing, and Eddie looks up to meet them.
"I'm a musician, I love a woman with a wide vocal range." He sits up though, his smile wilting. "Do you want to scare me off? Because it's not working, but if you want me to leave, just tell me," he says with a frown. He's been doing his best to be gentle and accommodating. True, he's not dealt with trans people before, but he thought he was doing well. "If I crossed a line somewhere, or did something wrongโ"
"No, no, you're good," she cuts him off with a furious shake of her head. "I think I just need a moment."
Eddie gives her a puzzled look. He folds the towel in his hands nervously.ย
"Okay. Do you want me to leave, or..."
"No, just come here."
Instead of being shunned out of her flat, he's being pulled down, chest against chest. He quickly gets the memo and straightens his legs until he's laying like a blanket on top of her, arms bent awkwardly to cradle her shoulders, head in the crook of her neck.ย
Stephanie tries to be quiet, but eventually, she can't hold back the wet sniffle that alarms Eddie.
"Shit, are you crying?" He tries to look up, but she presses his head back into her neck so he can't move.
"Shut up," she says, but doesn't sound angry. So he settles back down, tries to wrap his arms around her to provide the comfort she clearly needs, and lets her feel whatever she's feeling, fingers gently tracing her skin.ย
When he can feel her breath and heartbeat settle down, he asks without looking up:
"Were these good tears?"
She snorts.
"Of course they were, idiot."
He huffs out an amused breath against her neck, making her shoulder jump against the ticklish feeling.ย
"I haven't been treated this nice in a long while. It's a lot."
Eddie hums against her skin. He doesn't have the words to help, but he understands the feeling so he hugs her tighter against him.
"I get it," is all he can offer. It's like the first time Wayne had praised him after years of living with his parents. He bawled his eyes out back then, not understanding why. "I'll treat you nice every time, I can't imagine doing it any other way."
Her breath quickens again.
"See?" she asks wetly, almost accusingly. "And now you're promising me more. You can't do that."
"Why not?" Eddie frowns. But he's still not allowed to look up.ย
"You go to college. You don't even live here."
"I live here sometimes," he corrects. "And I have a feeling I'll be visiting more often now."
She huffs but doesn't say anything.ย
"What? Long distance doesn't work for you?" he half-jokes.
"You make it sound like it's a relationship," she says and Eddie cannot decipher her tone. She sounds accusatory, hurt, and annoyed all at once.ย
He finally breaks from her grasp but gives her the comfort of no eye contact. Just settles more comfortably against her collarbone, not crushing her to the bed anymore. He throws his leg and arm over her, wrapping Steph in a comforting touch she so clearly lacks.ย
"It could be," he says.ย
She doesn't say anything at first, but he senses another scoff on the tip of her tongue.
"Could it?" she counters eventually. Eddie hums.
"Yeah. Why wouldn't it?"
"I'm older than you."
This time it's Eddie who scoffs.ย
"You're beautiful and funny and have only one too many cats. I think you're fine. And if you have like, a deadly old-lady disease you haven't told me about, that's all the more reason to spend the time you have left being properly fucked and wooed and courted."
"I like how you set the priorities there."
He slaps her hip gently.
"Like you didn't like it."
"I did, I did." She reaches into his hair to gently scratch his scalp. "Can we come back to this?" she asks, but there's an almost pleading tone in her voice. "Next time you visit, we can talk about it."
He doesn't like the idea of waiting until his next break, but if she needs that space, he'll give it to her.ย
"Of course."
The signals he's getting are confusing, but he hasn't been told a straightforward 'no' yet, and the hand in his hair is nice and gentle, so he thinks his odds are quite good. He understands the need to think things through even if he's a man of impulsive decisions himself.ย
"When do you have to leave?"
Eddie turns to look at the Garfield clock on Steph's bedside table. If he doesn't leave right now, he'll run into traffic outside of the city later. But if he waits a few hours, he'll catch a nice view of the sunset and will be back in his flat shortly after sundown. He doesn't have classes until noon tomorrow anyway.ย
"I have enough time for a nap and round two," he decides, looking back at her.
"Perfect." She smiles sweetly, craning her neck down to kiss him. Then she flips them until she's the one cuddling into him, and he positively shudders when he wraps his arms around the soft body pressed against him, cradling her to his chest.ย
For @stevieweek Day 6: Queer culture | M | 1997 | Steddie | some gender dysphoria (voice), cat lady stevie universe sequel, transfem Steve, age gap, pre-relationship, spice&fluff
Stevie Week: Day 1 | Day 2 (art) | Day 3 (art) | Day 4 | Day 5 | Day 6 | Day 7
!We dive straight into smut but it's not very descriptive!
Steph makes a few aborted sounds in her throat before slapping her hand against her mouth while Eddie pounds into her. Her muffled sounds make him look up and notice that she's silencing herself and his hips still.ย
She blinks up at him, confused at his sudden stillness.
"Does it not feel good?" he asks with a slight pout to his lips.
She shakes her head immediately.
"It does," she croaks out before slapping the hand back over her mouth. Eddie frowns.
"Then I want to hear it. Please."
She shakes her head again, but it's small and hesitant this time. She spreads her fingers, not ready to take the hand away, but wanting to be heard.
"I can't control my voice, you know..." She makes a vague gesture to her mouth, her neck, and the vocal cords beneath. "Like this. There's only so much estrogen can do."
Eddie's heart breaks for her. He sits back, most of him slipping out, and caresses her thigh.ย
"What do you mean?"
She sighs, but the soft touch on her skin helps her calm down and gather her thoughts.ย
"Hormones don't just... change my voice. They kind of help expand my vocal range so that I can hit the higher notes, and sound the way I do every day. But I can still use the lower notes, and sometimes they just... slip out." She winces.
"Stevie." She looks up at him. "Stephanie, Steph." Eddie leans forward again, and she presses her lips together when his dick moves inside her too. "You're a woman, and your voice won't change that, not to me. I want to know I make you feel good. I want to hear it's so good you can forget yourself, and let loose. I want you to trust me that it won't change how I see you."
Despite his words and the blush on her cheeks, she doesn't seem convinced. So he adds, mercilessly:
"Please."
Stephanie nods and lets him take her hand away from her face. He presses his lips to her palm, watching her cheeks redden further.
"Thank you."
Wayne has taught him to be polite and respectful to women but he never knew such simple words would make someone squirm under him like that. It makes him want to bring her flowers and kiss her goodnight, knowing she'll eat it up and turn these beautiful shades of pink and crimson just for him.
He presses her hand to the mattress and resumes his movements. Slow at first, because his dick lost the plot for a second, but as soon as he felt himself get into full hardness again, he braced himself with the intent to bruise.
"Let me hear you," he said, slamming into the woman beneath him.ย
She whimpered, at first, and Eddie let her ease into it, observing her slowly part her lips and let the music flow. The breathy little ohs and ahs, the whines that follow, and finally, when he hit the right spot, a choked-off moan.
"Like that," he praised immediately. "Shit, you sound so hot."
And when she looked into his eyes, moaning and whining unashamedly, her self-consciousness gone, Eddie lost it.
He dove down to bite into her mouth and she accepted it happily, sharing her moans, the high ones, and the low ones, directly into him. With her free arm, she grasped his shoulder, trying to pull him even closer, and he let go of her other hand so they could wrap around each other, pressing tight until their bones crushed, only their mouths and hips allowed to move freely.
"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god," Eddie chanted into the corner of her mouth. "Steph."
"Eddie. I'm gonnaโ"
It's all the warning he gets before her heels dig into his back to pull him impossibly deeper and she comes. Her blunt nails digging into his skin are the last straw for him.ย
"Fuck!" he grits out, spilling into the condom, and his thrusts finally weaken, turning into a shallow sway until he stills, breathing heavily against her neck, where he presses his mouth because not touching her wherever he can right now would be torture. Slowly, as he regains control over his muscles, he starts pressing light kisses there.ย
"You were perfect. So beautiful. So hot. And you sound divine."
Despite his body's protests, he pushes himself up, because he needs to look her in the eyes.
"So good I could record you and take you with me to Indy, for the lonely nights."
"Oh my god, stop." She turns her head away, face twisting with embarrassment. But Eddie presses on.ย
"Those little moans you make, the ohs," he tries to imitate the breathy sounds she made and watches her cheeks bloom. "The ahs. Perfect. Thank you for letting me hear them."
"Uh, sure," she offers.
Eddie raises an eyebrow.ย
"You sound like you don't believe me."
All she can give him to that is a shrug. So he moves his hips, making her hiss from how sensitive she is, and pulls out from her. He can feel her eyes following as he gets up to dispose of the condom and goes for the door, closed against the four-legged intruders.ย
"Towel? Shower?" he asks, but she shakes her head, lifting herself on her hands to point towards the window.
"Just throw me this one. It's going into the laundry anyway."
Eddie grabs the towel, smelling faintly of hair conditioner, off the radiator. Instead of handing it over though, he sits on top of Stephanie's thighs to wipe the cum off her belly himself.ย
"Such a gentleman," she comments, with amusement in her tone.ย
"Well, I try to treat a lady how she deserves to be treated." He gives her his winning smile, the one he uses to charm his way out of trouble and get an extra cookie at the cafeteria. It must be working, because she finally softens, the lines on her forehead smoothing out as her expression opens up like she's starting to believe his words.ย
"You saw my... you know."
"Sure did." Eddie nods with a cheeky grin. "And she's pretty like the rest of you." He grabs her dick to clean thoroughly around it and wipes gently at the tip to make his point. Steph's breath hitches at the way he addresses her genitals.ย
"And you heard my voice."
"I hear It all the time," he points out, nudging her knees up to gently wipe the lube from around her rim.
"Yeah, but not like this," she says, lowering her voice on purpose. Her eyes are piercing and testing, and Eddie looks up to meet them.
"I'm a musician, I love a woman with a wide vocal range." He sits up though, his smile wilting. "Do you want to scare me off? Because it's not working, but if you want me to leave, just tell me," he says with a frown. He's been doing his best to be gentle and accommodating. True, he's not dealt with trans people before, but he thought he was doing well. "If I crossed a line somewhere, or did something wrongโ"
"No, no, you're good," she cuts him off with a furious shake of her head. "I think I just need a moment."
Eddie gives her a puzzled look. He folds the towel in his hands nervously.ย
"Okay. Do you want me to leave, or..."
"No, just come here."
Instead of being shunned out of her flat, he's being pulled down, chest against chest. He quickly gets the memo and straightens his legs until he's laying like a blanket on top of her, arms bent awkwardly to cradle her shoulders, head in the crook of her neck.ย
Stephanie tries to be quiet, but eventually, she can't hold back the wet sniffle that alarms Eddie.
"Shit, are you crying?" He tries to look up, but she presses his head back into her neck so he can't move.
"Shut up," she says, but doesn't sound angry. So he settles back down, tries to wrap his arms around her to provide the comfort she clearly needs, and lets her feel whatever she's feeling, fingers gently tracing her skin.ย
When he can feel her breath and heartbeat settle down, he asks without looking up:
"Were these good tears?"
She snorts.
"Of course they were, idiot."
He huffs out an amused breath against her neck, making her shoulder jump against the ticklish feeling.ย
"I haven't been treated this nice in a long while. It's a lot."
Eddie hums against her skin. He doesn't have the words to help, but he understands the feeling so he hugs her tighter against him.
"I get it," is all he can offer. It's like the first time Wayne had praised him after years of living with his parents. He bawled his eyes out back then, not understanding why. "I'll treat you nice every time, I can't imagine doing it any other way."
Her breath quickens again.
"See?" she asks wetly, almost accusingly. "And now you're promising me more. You can't do that."
"Why not?" Eddie frowns. But he's still not allowed to look up.ย
"You go to college. You don't even live here."
"I live here sometimes," he corrects. "And I have a feeling I'll be visiting more often now."
She huffs but doesn't say anything.ย
"What? Long distance doesn't work for you?" he half-jokes.
"You make it sound like it's a relationship," she says and Eddie cannot decipher her tone. She sounds accusatory, hurt, and annoyed all at once.ย
He finally breaks from her grasp but gives her the comfort of no eye contact. Just settles more comfortably against her collarbone, not crushing her to the bed anymore. He throws his leg and arm over her, wrapping Steph in a comforting touch she so clearly lacks.ย
"It could be," he says.ย
She doesn't say anything at first, but he senses another scoff on the tip of her tongue.
"Could it?" she counters eventually. Eddie hums.
"Yeah. Why wouldn't it?"
"I'm older than you."
This time it's Eddie who scoffs.ย
"You're beautiful and funny and have only one too many cats. I think you're fine. And if you have like, a deadly old-lady disease you haven't told me about, that's all the more reason to spend the time you have left being properly fucked and wooed and courted."
"I like how you set the priorities there."
He slaps her hip gently.
"Like you didn't like it."
"I did, I did." She reaches into his hair to gently scratch his scalp. "Can we come back to this?" she asks, but there's an almost pleading tone in her voice. "Next time you visit, we can talk about it."
He doesn't like the idea of waiting until his next break, but if she needs that space, he'll give it to her.ย
"Of course."
The signals he's getting are confusing, but he hasn't been told a straightforward 'no' yet, and the hand in his hair is nice and gentle, so he thinks his odds are quite good. He understands the need to think things through even if he's a man of impulsive decisions himself.ย
"When do you have to leave?"
Eddie turns to look at the Garfield clock on Steph's bedside table. If he doesn't leave right now, he'll run into traffic outside of the city later. But if he waits a few hours, he'll catch a nice view of the sunset and will be back in his flat shortly after sundown. He doesn't have classes until noon tomorrow anyway.ย
"I have enough time for a nap and round two," he decides, looking back at her.
"Perfect." She smiles sweetly, craning her neck down to kiss him. Then she flips them until she's the one cuddling into him, and he positively shudders when he wraps his arms around the soft body pressed against him, cradling her to his chest.ย
one time when I was a barista I was telling my coworker that I suddenly really missed cows. I used to work with cows all the time back home and then I moved away and suddenly it had been four years and nary a cow.
15 minutes later this old guy came up to the counter with his address written on a napkin & he said โme and my wife have a whole herd of dexters and a couple of new calves. come on over any timeโ
so after work I was like ok fuck it & I drove to the address and I parked at the gate & I walked down the driveway to the barn and this woman was like โoh my husband told me you might stop by! come see our cowsโ and she introduced me to every single cow. made my whole week.
Synopsis: in which you're alone in a cabin in the woods during a rough snow storm and an enigmatic, sexy wolf hybrid!Toji turns up at your door providing much more than his handyman service
Warnings: plot with a side of porn, cunnilingus, unprotected sex, creampie, knotting, degradation, exhibitionism, voyeurism, masturbation, praise kink, rough sex, manhandling, cowgirl, thigh fucking, hair pulling, slight anal play, biting, dom!toji, blowjob, allusion to shower sex, dirty talk, dry humping, pussyjob, fingering, panty sniffing, cum eating, spanking, titty slapping, pussy slapping, biting, dumbification, primal play to the extreme, !!dark themes!! beware cannot emphasise this enough people (dw there's no gore or noncon or anything, it's just the nature of the plot), acts of violence, angst, fem!reader, romance, barely proofread
Word Count: 19.9k (it's a lot I know I know sowwy)
Perhaps running away to the mountains and hiding in the woods wasnโt the greatest idea youโve ever had. But it was the only one you had at the time. Your grandmotherโs cabin is a little run-down, though that was expected considering how many years it had been since she passed, still, it has solid bones and you canโt complain.
Itโs a two bedroom bungalow โ spacious enough for a family, what with its generous kitchen and hearty fireplace, but far too small for you. Dust has settled on all imaginable surface and it took hours to remove the coverings on every sofa, chair, table, and bed, and even longer to wash everything that could be washed by hand, since the washing machine and dryer in the back room have long since given up on themselves.ย
Most of your days since whisking yourself away here is spent dusting, washing, wiping, and cooking. Youโve yet to feel the dent youโve been chipping away at. Thereโs still a draught coming from the front door, the main heating system isnโt working, and somewhere, in every corner, is an odd creaking that keeps you up at night.ย
Sighing, you glance out of the window, curled up underneath a mountain of blankets, and watch the snow fall. Itโs always snowing here. It was barely possible to trek up here as a snowstorm was creeping in; the townspeople were less than eager to even hear you out until you flashed an extortionate amount of money.ย
A nice, elderly man took pity, though, upon discovering your last name. He knew your granny. Said she was a sweet soul with a real talent for baking. Having ordered one of his sons to drive you up, he gave you his telephone number, insisting that if you ever needed anything, anything at all, they would come at the drop of a hat.ย
That warmed your heart a little. The kindness of a stranger is not something youโre familiar with and thought youโd never get to experience, but there he was, smiling, and waving the cash away like it was the silliest thing in the world and it had no real consequence.ย
It had been four days since and you wonโt lie, you have considered phoning in that favour. Youโre way out of your depth here. With a sigh, you pull a blanket, red and knitted by your grandmother, up to your chin and continue to watch the snow fall. Even though youโre at your wits end with all the scrubbing this cabin needs, you couldnโt possibly call it quits now and beg the man to come up just to take you down. How embarrassing would that be?
You hear knocking.ย
Thereโs someone at the door, pounding. Your heart begins to beat fast. You must have mistaken the sound of the wind howling for a knock at the door. After all, you are miles away from the town and the snow is far too thick for anyone to have gotten up here. Would it be wise to get up from the warmth of your sofa to be sure?
The knocking gets louder, more adamant. Okay, so you werenโt, in fact, mistaken. Something about that noise, unyielding and firm, pierces your heart. You canโt imagine being out in this weather. Youโre at the door faster than you can even process the speed at which your feet moved.ย
When you fling the door open, the freezing wind attacks, stinging your cheeks and nipping at your skin. Arms rushing to hug the blanket you thoughtfully to drag with you tighter around your body, you squint up through the blinding white of the snow at a hulking beast.ย
Broad shouldered and glaring, he watches you cower beneath his gaze. Heโs dressed in a simple, fitted t-shirt and baggy joggers, and you feel impossibly colder just by looking at him. His face is hidden behind a disheveled beard, rough and scratchy. Heโs a very hairy man.ย
โH-hello. Can I help you?โ
His nose twitches. He jerks his chin to something behind you. โYouโre cooking. Iโm hungry.โ
Without waiting for a reply, he pushes past you. Pressing yourself close to the door frame, you just about avoid the graze of his arm against you. This turn of events has your head spinning. Who does this man think he is?ย
The wind howls harder. You slam the door shut. โExcuse me! You canโt just walk in as you please. This is my home. Get out.โ
He doesnโt look back, doesnโt even register what you say. Instead, he crosses into the kitchen and lifts the lid of the pot of stew youโve been working on for hours and grunts. When he fixes himself a bowl, youโre left speechless at how he seems to move on autopilot, opening cabinets and drawers for what he needs without so much as a glance.ย
Now heโs sitting at the table, scarfing down your stew and youโre bewildered, spluttering. Youโre being Punkโd.ย
โWho do you think you are? I told you to get out. Iโm gonna call the police if you donโt within the next five seconds!โ
He snorts.ย
โThe police?โ His voice is gravelly, seemingly from lack of use. โAinโt nobody getting up โere in this state.โ
Thatโs what every serial killer says, and you should be afraid, should be running for help. But thereโs no hint of malice or cruel intent in his words, only amusement, the way one responds to a childโs whims.ย
โWell, you should still afford me the decency of leaving my home when asked.โ
โYour home? Didnโt know the old lady gave it away.โ
You gulp, clutching the thick blanket even tighter. โYou knew my grandmother?โ
He grunts.ย
Well aware you really ought to kick him out, youโre ashamed at the realisation that you canโt bring yourself to. Itโs awfully terrible outside and thereโs no doubt the elements would claim him if he heโs left out with no shelter. Though, that really shouldnโt be your responsibility and there is still, of course, the glaring concern of his ability to kill you. One sweep of his figure and you know this towering man, tall and muscular, could snap your neck with one hand.ย
Or worse.
Not to mention, heโs a hybrid. You can tell by the twitching of his ears and his nose, like heโs hearing and smelling things inscrutable by the human senses. You wonder what he is. He has no triangular ears or fluffy tail like a dog, he doesnโt have eyes like a cat, no scales that you can see, but his teeth, when he scrapes them along the spoon, you know theyโre much sharper than youโd like to ever find out.ย
If he wanted to kill you, he could have done that before. And at any rate, itโs too late to do anything about it now. He knows youโre alone and thereโs nowhere you can run to before the snow freezes your limbs.ย
Settling back down onto the sofa, you just watch him eat. Heโs grabbed a second helping, enjoying the meat more than the potatoes and carrots in there but thatโs expected of a man. It does mean, though, that heโs not a herbivore hybrid. You wonder if he likes the taste of a womanโs flesh.ย
โIs it good?โ You ponder.ย
Thereโs something oddly peaceful about observing him โ the way he only chews once and twice before swallowing and shoving another spoonful, the way his throat contracts, how his huge hands grasps the bowl and spoon like they could be ripped away from him before heโs finished, and even the way his foot taps, impatient and tense.ย
He throws you a cursory glance. โItโs good.โ
A second helping disappears. So does a third.
โIt seems like you havenโt eaten in days. Or showered. Or rested.โ
Huffing, he leans back in the chair, full perhaps. He scratches his stomach under his shirt and you look away at the flash of skin. In a drawl, he concedes, โYโr right on the money.โ
You note how he doesnโt offer more. And you know by the way heโs observing you in return that heโs expecting you to ask for more. You donโt. Itโs stupid. Suicidal even. But a little company to weather this snow storm might not be so bad.ย
โIโll allow you to stay here until the snow passes but no longer than that. Thereโs a second bedroom in the back, you can use that. The boilerโs broken or something so the radiators arenโt working, neither is the hot water in the shower. So, unfortunately, this isnโt going to be a stay at a five star hotel but weโll both get along just fine if we maintain boundaries and do our part.โ
He grunts. That seems to be his preferred way of communicating. Fine by you. You never liked talkative people anyways. โI want a hot shower. So do you by the looks of it. Iโll go down and check the boiler out.โ
Startled, you laugh. โYou know how to fix things?โ
The look he gives you is answer enough and with no further words exchanged, he marches down the hall, obviously all too familiar with the layout of the cabin โ did he stay here after she died, when the house was empty and unused?ย
Or maybe he stayed with your grandmother and that was how she got along just fine on her own after your grandfather died.
After thirty minutes or so, he emerges, some grease smeared on his face, and he presses the back of his hand to the radiator by where you sit. Heโs standing very close. And from your position, hugging your knees under all these blankets, he looks so much bigger and stronger.ย
โItโs fixed. For now. Shitโs old so might need regular maintenance,โ he explains. โYa wanna shower first or what?โ
Considering he fixed the damn thing, he should have the first go, shouldnโt he? Especially as heโs been out in the cold for goodness how long.
โIโll shower first,โ you say.ย
He nods.ย
Unfurling yourself from your cocoon, you stumble to a stand. He doesnโt move, doesnโt give you space. Your chest brushes against his. Tingling rushes down your spine at the graze of your nipples. You hastily move past him, embarrassed and suddenly nervous.ย
โIโll be quick. Um, feel free to have more stew and I donโt know if you have any clothes or anything, but my grandmother kept some of her husbandโs clothes, youโll find them in your room โ the second bedroom, I mean. Just down the hall, by the bathroom.โ
He doesnโt reply and you donโt wait for him to .ย
In your rush to save face, you just miss the way his lips twitch in one corner.ย
You had forgotten how wonderful a hot shower is. The way youโre enveloped by warmth and your tense muscles loosen and relax under the barrage of water. You take much longer than you usually do, intent on thoroughly enjoying the water like it could grow legs and make a run for it. Eventually, youโre bathed and fresh. Much fresher than youโve been in the last couple days since you didnโt have to hurry through your routine or curse under your breath at the burning chill of the water, mocking your ineptitude and foolish spontaneity.ย
When you come out, dressed in a sweater and joggers, youโre pleased to find the house much warmer than before. The fireplace is even lit, the orange and red flames dancing with as much joy as you feel. More cozy and welcoming, the cabin has completely transformed in what feels like a blink of an eye. Before, the clinical white lights overhead flickered on its last legs, completely and utterly useless, now only the fireplace sheds light, covering the living room and kitchen in a snug ember.ย
It feels reminiscent of Christmas evenings you never had.ย
Your guest doesnโt look surprised when you approach โ he probably heard you every step of the way โ but he does push off the sofa and give you a look over, nodding as if satisfied to see you out of the blankets you wore like a second skin.ย
Just as he brushes past you, you grasp his arm. Nerves light up. You drop it like it burns. โSorry. I, um, just wanted to say thanks. And uh, I guess we should introduce each other. Sorry I didnโt do it sooner. Iโm not really sure why I didnโt. Maybe I was just mentally prepared to not speak to another person for a while or something.โย
Tilting his head at you, he releases a huff of air through his nose and says, โNameโs Toji. Youโre y/n; the old lady talked about you.โ
โOh.โ
Likely sensing thatโs as much as youโre going to say, he disappears into the bathroom with a pile of clothes and a towel in hand that you didnโt even notice โ maybe because you were far too distracted by how handsome he looks under the glow of the fire or how his skin felt nice, all hard and soft and heated the way only a man could be.ย
Or maybe, just maybe, it was because the first thing you really noticed upon entering the living room was not the way it had been transformed or how normal it looked for such a big man to be taking up space here, but rather how this โTojiโ was sitting in the exact same spot youโd been making your little home when he came.ย
When you awake the next day, youโre surprised heโs still asleep. It was almost midday and thereโs no sign of him having walked through the cabin before you. Thereโs no way youโll knock on his door. Truthfully, you were surprised, pleasantly so it must be said, to find yourself alive and untouched. You donโt guilty for thinking the worst and youโre not naive enough to think better of him for not being a serial killer, thatโs simply the bare minimum.ย
But it does mean heโs a man of his word and you can let down a little of your guard.ย
Instead of worrying more about what heโs doing in his room, you busy yourselfย with breakfast. Toji had finished the stew when you came out of the shower and you were impressed by his appetite, albeit also concerned for your stock; at this rate, your food will run out much faster than you had planned and thereโs no telling when the weather will get well enough to call out the old man for help. ย
You bake a sourdough, fry up some eggs and sausages and put the kettle on for some coffee โ instant, unlike the ones youโre used to in the big city but itโll have to do. Youโre careful not to make too much noise, although you feel a little embarrassed at how thoughtful youโre being.ย
Just as you put the plate down, he emerges, shirtless, hand scratching the trail of hair low on his stomach. His hair is mussed up, sticking at all angles, and the plaid pyjama bottoms he must gotten from your grandfatherโs box of old clothes hang low on his hips, distinct v-lines peeking in a terrifyingly sinful way. He has fairly thick hair on his arms and chest, the very definition of unkept and wild.ย
You clear your throat.ย
โGood morning. Sleep well?โ
He throws you a look, full of amusement, before he sits down at the table. He must have smelt the food and known somehow you were meaning to share. How presumptuous of him. โSlept fine.โ
You serve him his portion, larger than your own, and pour him coffee to which he doesnโt say no. โNot going to ask me how I slept?โ
He snorts. โDonโt hafta. You tossed and turned the whole night.โ
โYou have really good hearing, donโt you? What kind of hybrid are you?โ
He eats much slower than yesterday, mulling the taste over rather than scarfing it down, and he seems pleased enough with your cooking skills. For reasons you donโt want to think too much about, youโre feeling pretty proud of yourself.ย
โWolf,โ he replies.ย
Youโve never met a wolf before. But they are an infamous breed โ they needed constant medication to keep their animal instincts at bay, they stuck by their own kind, were aggressive to outsiders, and are known for being fiercely loyal and protective. Toji doesnโt seem to match the description. Heโs alone for one and he moves with grace like a deer and not like a clunky predator.ย
โHow did you know my grandmother, if I may?โ You ponder. In all of the letters sheโs written to you, she had never mentioned knowing a hybrid like Toji, or any hybrids for that matter.ย
He lifts one shoulder in a shrug and shared, โHelped her around during winters just like these. She was too old to get down by herself and there were always things needing fixing.โ
โShe gave you warm food in return?โ
He grunts.ย
โHow did you know she died?โ Raising a brow at your question, you explain, โYou said she โwasโ too old.โ
Barking a sudden laugh, you find the noise tickling your skin and you canโt stop staring at the way his face softens for just the quickest second and ever so lightly. Youโre ashamed to admit the noise makes you warmer inside than it should.ย
โI come sniffing around soon as snow starts to fall. Itโs routine. A habit. I was the one who found her. Notified the townspeople and went on my way.โ He takes a sip of the coffee, green eyes never leaving yours. โHavenโt been back in years.โ
His voice is gruff and now that youโre sat face-to-face with him, itโs clear as day that heโs not used to the sound of his own voice; he furrows his brows and stumbles upon certain words like theyโre foreign, as if heโs struggling to reconcile the reality that those words are coming from him.ย
โSo what made you come here?โ
No answer.ย
The rest of breakfast passes by in relative silence, the distant moan of the wind outside providing enough noise to wash away the awkwardness of eating with a stranger. You want to tell him youโd prefer if he didnโt walk around so bare but that seemed too big of an ask since itโs likely he runs hotter as a wolf than you do. Eyes falling to your neck and your chest unashamedly, he doesnโt shy away from eye contact.ย
You do though.
Then he stands, taking both your and his plate over to the sink. He begins washing up. That actually takes you by surprise. This Toji fella didnโt strike you as the type to partake in house chores. Rather, he seems like the type to firmly believe the kitchen is a womanโs domain. Interestingly enough, his back is marked up, full of scars, and they ripple with his muscles. You want to ask about them but heโs not a man who offers answers and youโre not the kind of woman who should poke and prod.ย
โRight, well.โ You stand too. โI was wondering if you know how to fix a washing machine. And a dryer. Neither are working and washing my sheets and panties in the bath is a pain.ย
His eyes flick to you as you wipe away at a spot on the counter dirtied by flour. You probably shouldnโt have used the word โpantiesโ in front of a man like him but you thought it would be funny. He doesnโt seem to think so. He gives you a half-nod and you feel satisfied enough from that interaction to pad over to the sofa to read a book.ย
Toji begins working around the cabin โ he heads over to the laundry room and you hear the clatter of metal and thumping against the floor. Upon emerging and giving you the look that says โitโs doneโ, he also starts looking for something in the basement. He carries up a box of lightbulbs in one arm and a ladder in another.ย
When you jolt up, to offer help, he cuts you another look that says โdonโt you dareโ, and you sit back down. He seems to have his own way of doing things and he knows youโll only get in the way. Maybe he noticed that your nails are long and clean and he can somehow, with his wolfy powers, sense your hands have never touched dirt.
Still working on this and that around the house, you serve him his lunch and you eat separately. If this becomes your routine then thatโll be ideal. He does all the cleaning and fixing and you cook. Sure, it might be setting back the feminist movement just a little but things like that donโt matter up here, where itโs freezing and you have no idea how you managed for days without him.
Much more quickly than you could have ever expected, the day ends and night falls.
โThanks for the help,โ you say, handing him a glass of your grandmotherโs moonshine. You remember where she kept it from your childhood and now, soon after dinner, just sat by the fireplace, feels as good a time as any to bust it out.ย
Youโre both leaning against the sofa, right by the fireplace, choosing to be on the rug rather than on the soft couch. You canโt remember who followed who, but you suppose it doesnโt matter. In just one day he had solved most of the problems youโve nearly cried over.ย
Toji grunts.ย
Heโs wearing a shirt now, thin and plain. Your grandfather was a much smaller man so this shirt is practically bursting at the seams on his huge bicep but he doesnโt seem to mind. You do, though. Itโs rather distracting actually. His skin brushes against yours and neither of you move away.ย
The flames are the only light here and you feel its warmth settling on your face, lulling you to comfort. Stronger than any alcohol youโve ever had, the moonshine burns your throat, lighting you up inside. Your companion appears to be unimpressed with the concoction, downing the cup in one gulp.ย
Slightly embarrassed by your inexperience, despite being an adult, you ask, โWhere were you staying before? You said you come here for winter so where do you stay for the rest of the year? Same place youโve been staying at since my grandmother died? Or somewhere different?โ
Throwing an arm on the sofa, right behind your head, he admits, โNowhere. Everywhere. Just moved around a lot.โ
โWhy didnโt you just stay here? If you talked to her enough to know about me, then surely she must have told you no one ever visits since everyone in the family hates the cold. You would have had the place all to yourself.โ
โI never stay in one place for too long.โ
You skim the rim of your glass, watching the clear liquid swirl with the glow of the fireplace. โWhy not?โ
He waits until you canโt bear the silence, until you feel that itch to look up, to meet his gaze. And when you do, thereโs some intensity in his eyes that seems to make the alcohol in your stomach burn just a little more. A finger of his twirls a lock of your hair and he murmurs, โNever had a reason to.โ
Nodding, you settle for watching the fire.ย
And when the bottle of moonshine was depleted, you left to sleep and he stayed, a scalding brand marking your back and you couldnโt bear to look back to know if it was from the fireplace or from him.ย
That was how your first day went.ย
On the second day, you repeat more or less the same routine: you make breakfast, you eat together, he goes and fixes something else, you make lunch, you eat separately, he fixes some more things, you make dinner, and you share a drink or two, and sleep.ย
Occasionally, youโll run into each other and you still struggle to meet his eyes, having to crane your head so far back to get a good look. Sometimes when you do gather the courage to look up at him, heโs already looking at your chest, green eyes slowly rising up to your face. His brow rises in challenge just as hip lip twitches. He doesnโt care at all. The man had no manners.ย
But he washes the dishes after every mealtime and he doesnโt really make a mess, so you canโt complain when he takes his visual fill of your body. Thereโs no harm in looking, only a priest would ever know that you do the same thing; thereโs always a sizeable bulge in his trousers that you canโt keep your eye off, totally only out of curiosity.ย
The day starts off with an exchange of โgโmorningโ and a โgโnightโ.
The third day tells the same story.ย
On the fourth day, however, only one thing out of the ordinary happens and it isnโt anything to write home about but you canโt get it out of your mind, as you lay in bed wide awake. The wolf hybrid had needed to get past you to get something from the fridge and on his way, he gripped your hips, lightly and barely a whisper, but his finger had brushed a sliver of skin where your shirt had risen up.ย
His touch was startling, petrifying, making the hairs along your body stand on edge, but more than anything, it was completely and utterly exhilarating.ย
When your hand wandered down into your panties that night, you tried your best to stifle your moans with your pillow, chasing the high that followed you the entire day. You fell asleep sticky, sweaty and unrepentant.
The fifth day goes by just fine too. Appreciative of the little song and dance you two have choreographed, you find yourself less and less anxious about the snow and the world beyond. Thereโs just something about this Toji fella โ heโs quiet in a way that would be off-putting from anyone else, but you find it comforting. Itโs different from the way everything worked in the city, where silences are this obscene monstrosity that must be filled with the clattering of a busybody.ย
Here, with him, you can just breathe in the hot cocoa and the smoky ash burning in the fireplace as you sit by him, shoulder to shoulder, on the rug and not on the sofa. He doesnโt ask questions about why you never visited your grandmother, why you havenโt talked about your family or your friends, or why you donโt ask him questions.ย
You like to think too that he appreciates you keeping your curiosity at bay.ย
Maybe thatโs why he lets you rest your head on his shoulder, why he doesnโt nudge you off when your breath begins to even out and your lashes flutters shut, and maybe, just maybe, itโs why he carries you to bed and lays you down so gently you dream of solid arms, green sparkles in the snow, and fluffy clouds that brush your hair back.ย
What you werenโt prepared for, however, is the sixth day. It started off just like any other day: breakfast, reading on the sofa whilst he fixes something or the other, and then lunch eaten separately.ย
But, the hybrid must have gotten oil spilled on him when he was tinkering with something in the cellar because he went to shower during the day, instead of at night like you both do. This fact wasnโt known to you. It really wasnโt even on your mind. And thatโs why disaster struck.ย
Walking into the bathroom to grab something โ you canโt even remember what it was and why you were so focused on retrieving it, you hadnโt registered the sound of running water and the fact that the room was steamier than usual โ you were met with a sight no HR training could ever prepare you for. Because, there, right in front of you, was your roommate, buck naked with water dripping down his chiseled body, catching on the curly hairs on his chest and lower abdomen. He was leaning with one arm on the glass of the shower stall, forehead pressed onto his forearm whilst the other made slow, leisurely strokes somewhere low, somewhere the steam gravitated towards.ย
Forward and back, forward and back, forward...andโฆback.ย
All while his eyes, like freshly cut grass, stayed unmoving, watching you watch him. Feet sinking deeper into the tiles, you were stuck where you are, heaving chest matching his as he let out a grunt, wrist jerking faster, splashing so much water everywhere you could almost feel them land on your skin through the glass.ย
Your phone pinged from your hand. You didnโt realise you were holding it. That was just about enough to break the trance he had you under. Wordlessly, you turned back and left, the door clicking shut behind you, and you busied yourself with preparing for dinner.ย
When he walked out, dressed, you could see from your peripheral, you grunted in acknowledgement after he let you know he was going to get some wood from outside.ย
Dinner was eaten separately too.ย
Instead of watching the fireplace, side by side, sharing whatever drink youโve prepared, youโre settled comfortably under your blankets, hand rubbing furiously in your panties and eyes shut tightly, chasing flashing images of something sinful, delicious, the very source of your delirium.ย
Your orgasm is shallow. Itโs why youโre conscious enough to notice, through the gap between your door and the floor, that the hallway light is still on and just as you exhale your last lust-induced moan, it disappears, leaving your senses focused solely on the sound of feet padding away.
You donโt get any sleep.ย
โGโmorning,โ you chirp.ย
The kettle is boiling and youโre serving the last of the eggs and bacon onto pancakes you made from scratch. There are still some meat frozen but the vegetables and fruits are almost gone and thereโs no other way about it โ youโre going to have to go down to get some more food. What had supposed to last you comfortably, at least two weeks, is now on its last crumbs before the first seven days had reached its end.
His green eyes flick to yours and with a small smirk, beard twitching, he asks, โSleep well?โ
Biting the inside of your cheek, you try to ignore the burning of your face and the sudden shake in your hands. Of course he had heard. Of course! Because, lost in the haze of the shallow pleasure, you had forgotten that youโre living with a man that is far from ordinary.ย
So is his hearing.ย
โOh, great,โ you grit out. โAnd you?โ
A snort of what you can only guess to be amusement is released from him and when he brushes past you, his heat only sets those embers ablaze again. He doesnโt answer.ย
Once sat down and eating, itโs your roommate who suggests more food is needed โ as he should, considering itโs because of his insane appetite that things have turned out so hopeless so quickly.ย
โHow could we possibly get more food in this weather? No one can get up here and walking down is not an option. I mean, just looking at all that snow makes me feel like death is creeping in.โ
โDonโt gotta leave,โ he says with a grunt. โIโll go.โ
Spluttering, you practically shriek, โYou? Are you insane? Youโll die.โ
His green eyes glint. โWill the pretty little city girl be sad if I do?โ
โWill the big, bad wolf listen and stay if I say yes?โ
Toji barks out a laugh. Breakfast ends soon after.ย
An hour passes and, as you read a book, you think that thatโs the last of that. But of course it isnโt. Just as you finish a chapter, the wolf in question comes out of his room in a worn out coat too small for him and a firm look on his face. He canโt possibly be serious.ย
Ignoring your protests, he heads over to the door and doesnโt spare you a glance. Itโs only when you tell him he needs money that he does pause. Typical macho men, thinking with their muscles and not their heads, you grumble in your mind. He waits for you to grab your purse and shove it in his hand.ย
โAre you sure youโll be okay?โ
Your question is met with an eye roll.ย
โYeah, quit worrying. Iโll be back before you know it.โ He sounds so sure. Youโre inclined to believe him. Something about how sturdy he looks makes him sound convincing enough; Tojiโs built like an oak tree, with deep-reaching roots and a thick trunk that could withstand the harshest storms and mightiest blows. But all trees can be felled, if one tries hard enough.ย
He must have smelt the doubt pouring out of every pore because then heโs making a sound of pure exasperation. โAlright, listen. Iโm a wolf, yeah? Iโve been through worse.โ
Eyes darting from the snow and to his deadpan face, you mutter, โJust because youโve been through worse doesnโt mean you should go through more. You can just stay and keep warm. With me. I canโt help you if youโre out there.โ
Thereโs a silence, like a sudden gust. And then a sigh.ย
In less than a second, you find your jaw being gripped with one large hand and your head is pushed to the side just as his face buries itself in the crook of your neck, the rough hairs of his beard tickling your skin. The growl that escapes him pulls a gasp out of you and then heโs gone.ย
With the speed at which the door flies open and closes, you barely feel the sharp sting of the cold. Or maybe you do feel the full brunt of it, but itโs overshadowed by the envigorating rush that came from that big man inhaling your scent before he left.ย
You wonder if he liked what he smelt.ย
Before, it felt like time was passing at a snailโs pace, but now itโs like time isnโt passing at all โ youโre stuck in some sort of pathetic limbo where you spend every meaningless second switching tasks. From brushing the floor to rearranging the books on the shelves in the corner to dusting every surface to lying in bed and so on and so forth. It feels somewhat akin to engraving tallies into the walls with a paperclip.
Alone, truly alone, you can do nothing but focus on the feeling of ice creeping into your bloodstream. The heaters are on and you can very easily set the wood burning in the fireplace if need be since he taught you. But you donโt want to; youโre lazy. Thatโs the excuse youโd tell Toji if he asks, biting down the real reason and never spitting it out.
The shivers wracking your body is what you deserve for letting that man go to get food on your behalf. The quivering of your lips is due to the fact that you could have โ should haveโ gone with him, should have bundled him up in something thicker and warmer, and yourself maybe, so you two could trek together to the town. At least, if one of you were to be injured, thereโs someone there to pick you back up.ย
Who will pick him up?
Gnawing on a nail, your eyes dart, for the millionth time, outside the window, fuzzy socks rubbing against each other as you shuffle on the floor. Night is falling and he still isnโt here. Youโre beyond worried.ย
How long does it take to hike down and up anyways? It took about an hour by car, so surely it wouldnโt take longer than a day at the very most, right?
But spending even just an hour in this snow, wearing just a coat, would be fatal for anyone, wolf hybrid or not, right? And heโs attempting to bring up groceries?ย
Oh, God.ย
Youโve allowed that man to walk right into his death. No, youโve sent him off to die. Youโre a killer. Or maybe heโs not coming back. Maybe this was just a ploy to leave without an awkward goodbye. He got what he wanted โ roof over his head, a bed, food, warm shower and even a stupid girl to tease. Now that heโs exhausted the supplies, maybe heโs off to try his luck at another cabin.ย
Is this what it was like with your grandmother?ย
Did she make sure to stock up as much as possible for the winter to ensure heโd stay the entire time so she can have someone to look after her?
Is that what youโre going to turn into?
A food bank?
You shouldnโt have come up here. You should have stayed in the loud, stifling city in your miserable office job, with your stuffy pantsuits and your overbearing boss. You should have accepted your familyโs manufactured smiles and cold hugs. You should never, ever have dared to want more. There is nothing in your entire life you have done, or could have ever done, to deserve more.ย
A knock comes on the door.ย
You jerk up.ย
The blanket falls from your shoulders. Stumbling to a stand, you wipe your hands down your front, trying to steady them, and without waiting for a second knock, you twist the knob that had just been above your head and you flung it open.ย
โCould hear ya sniffling from miles. You good?โ
In front of you is a very hairy man, broad shouldered, coat darkening with the dampness that weighs him down and flakes of snow litter his beard like an upside down tree. Heโs scary, hulking and tense, like a wound up toy, ready to explode at any given moment. An ear twitches when you sniffle, just as he said. This man could kill you. Heโs strong enough to have been carrying two big, heavy bags, one in each hand, up the mountain. And he knows the exact layout of the cabin, knows there are no hiding spots, no locks in the basement, knows where the axe is, and that the stoker is leaning against the fireplace, too far to get to in time from where youโre standing.
You jump onto him. โOh my god! I thought you died. Or that you left me!โ
He grunts with the force of your body meeting his, but he doesnโt stumble. Bearing the burden of the bags of groceries and your entire weight as you wrap yourself around him like a koala bear, he walks in with ease, kicking the door shut. He saunters over to the kitchen where he deposits the bags on the counter and leaves just enough room to sit you down, untangling your awkward limbs from his torso.ย
โYa think too much.โ
He pats the wetness, that had transferred from his clothes onto you, down with a tea towel. Your shaky hands reach up, threading your fingers through his beard and his hair, and you brush the snow away. Heโs still here. And heโs warm.ย
โI was so worried something happened to you, Toji,โ you whisper.ย
Stilling, his green eyes flick up to yours, searching, and when he finds the tears threatening to fall he sighs, and presses his forehead against yours, letting you feel the firmness of his presence. He smells like burnt cedar, the musk of the earth, and the saltiness of sea air. With a gravelly voice, he reassures you, โIโm here. Got enough food to last us another week, and by then the snow will stop falling. Weโll be fineโ
Your โthank youโ stays in your throat when he pulls away and falls on a chair by the dinner table with a grunt so deep and loud youโre snapped back into action โ he must be starving and exhausted. Toji did his part and now you must do yours.ย
Sneaking glances at him, you work as fast as you can, cutting this and boiling that. You know as soon as the onions and garlic hit the pan with the sizzle his nose will start twitching. If it smells delicious to you, you wonder how it must smell to him. Maybe the anticipation of a warm meal was what pulled him home.ย
You wonโt disappoint.ย
Every second or so, your eyes drift to him, mostly to make sure heโs still breathing, but also because you canโt help it. Heโs snoozing, you surmise, when his chest rises and falls in a steady rhythm and his eyes are closed. You move around as quietly as you can.ย
Plated, you set the steaming soup, fried meat and loaf of bread he had brought down on the table. Itโs not the most appealing of all appearances but you know the recipes like the back of your hand so you know heโll love every thing. Or at least, you hope he will.ย
Checking all the necessary silverware are on the table, you try to gently coax him awake with a call of his name. He doesnโt answer. You look up with a sigh, ready to jostle him from whatever dream is so beautiful heโs in deep sleep, only to find those frustratingly alluring eyes already on you.ย
โSmells delicious,โ he says, making no effort to gesture to the food.ย
You gulp and with a weak smile, you sit down and allow him to serve you. โSo, how was it? Is the situation bad?โ
Toji rolls a shoulder back. He answers, โSnowโs definitely too thick for a car, but the town hasnโt been too badly affected. No one can get in or out but theyโre all making do.โ
โAnd you? Was it a difficult journey?โ
Thereโs a pause as he swallows the spoonful heโs shovelled in his mouth and then heโs shrugging, remarking, โYa think so little of me? Told you, Iโm a wolf hybrid. Wasnโt easy but was hardly difficult, ma.โ
Warmth pools in your stomach.ย
โGood.โ You sip some water. โBut you definitely need to get some rest. Thatโs a non-negotiable, Iโm afraid. No manual labour of any kind tomorrow. Iโll handle everything. So, just let me know what I can do for you. Itโs the least I can do, after all.โ
He snorts. โYeah? Yโr gonna take care of me?โ
โIโll do whatever you need me to do.โ
His fork and spoon clatter on his frighteningly empty plate and when you meet his gaze once more, youโre knocked back by the sheer challenge in them. Thereโs a glint, like light off a knifeโs edge, and it slices from your heart down your body, leaving you open and electrified.ย
โCareful, little girl,โ he taunts, jaw snapping with a laugh, โwhen I take you up on that, yโr gonna be whining for days about how sore you are.โ
Thereโs no way youโre going to argue with him, not when he sounds so certain, like youโre missing out on some inside joke. So you finish up dinner, with him having three servings, and after, with the dishes in need of cleaning up, you practically have to shove him in his room when he insisted heโs fine enough to stay up.ย
He rolls his eyes and lets you slam the door shut in his face.
As you tidy up in the kitchen, youโre pleased to find the fridge full. Thereโs a lot of fruit and vegetables and all the possibilities are getting you giddy. You suppose you were a little afraid Toji, being a man, would only buy junk and red meat, but he hadnโt. In fact, he had gotten things beyond food, he had bought toiletries and sanitary products for you. Sure it was a little presumptive, maybe you didnโt have periods, maybe youโre on birth control, maybe youโve just had it and wonโt have to worry until after the snow calms enough for you to deal with your personal bodily functions.ย
But, you find the act endearing, if the smile creeping on your face is anything to go by.ย
Eventually, you retire to bed, feeling much lighter. Thereโs lots of food and he came back. He hadnโt left. He had gone through so much trouble โ life-risking trouble โ that it must mean something, right?ย
You fall asleep very quickly.ย
Sometime around two in the morning, however, youโre awoken by some dull noise outside. Blinking through the sleep in your eyes, you pad out of your room and into the living room, where the fireplace is burning and casting dancing shadows over your roommateโs body.ย
โDidnโt mean to wake ya,โ he grouses. โGo back to sleep.โ
Finding the spark to laugh, you muse, โI think thatโs my line, no?โ
He looks wide awake sitting in his usual spot, on the floor with an arm on the sofa and a leg bent. Shirtless, the fire makes him look like heโs glowing, and youโre mesmerised. Clearing your throat, you retrieve two bottles of beer he had cheekily gotten, and sit criss-crossed by him. He takes the beer with a grunt of gratitude.
Thereโs something different in the air; silence isnโt enough tonight. All the things that have so far been left unspoken, locked away, are climbing over, ready to be shared โ at least from your side. You may never know what heโs truly thinking.
Brows furrowed, you begin, โDid you ever wonder how I ended up here? Well, thereโs not really a special or interesting story โ I just got tired and bored of the same old thing. It felt like my life was missing substance, yโknow?โ
Grunt.ย
โI hated the city,โ you confess. โItโs awful there. Everyone treats you like their enemy even as youโre just walking down the street. No one ever smiles or even looks at each other.โ
Huff.
โItโs a good thing I was a workaholic and lived frugally; I can afford to camp out here untilโฆwell, till forever, I guess. Itโs also great luck that you came by โcause I canโt fix a boiler or anything of the sort, so I would have likely died by now.โ
For a second you think heโs dozed off, as he should have been doing after dinner considering the strenuous journey he underwent to get some food, but one glance to the side up has you gulping when you find his eyes on you once more, like they never left, like thereโs nowhere else heโd rather look at. What a dangerous thought.ย
The eye contact has you, or him, or both of you, drawing closer, gazes flickering down and then up and back down again. With the warm glow of the fire blanketing you in the night, you feel so safe and secure; itโs you and him in this cabin and no one else matters. No one else has a say, can interrupt, can ruin this.ย
Whatever this is.ย
The arm he has behind you shifts and then you feel fingers skimming a lock of hair, following it down from the temple of your head, curving around the shell of your ear, and into the slope of your neck, brushing your hair back and exposingย skin to the sizzling air.ย
You shiver.
โIโve always been the kind of girl who stayed in one place. I like the security, the familiarity. But recently things have started feeling tough, like Iโm stuck in quicksand, as dramatic as it is to say.โ
Your voice is weak and low; you never knew you could sound like that.ย
When you were brushing the snow out of his beard, you werenโt surprised to find it rough, you often catch him scratching there so you know itโs uncomfortable for him too, and yet, you find a bubbling desire within you to feel it on your skin, the way you had briefly felt it on your neck and in your hands. How would it feel in other places?ย
โI just needed to get out, yโknow?โ Youโre leaning impossibly close โ close enough to see the question in his eyes. โDo something new, something exciting, somethingโฆโย
โWild?โ
Tojiโs eyes flashes and at your dazed nod, he dives forward, swallowing your gasp in his rough, unforgiving mouth. He shoves his tongue in, licking and tasting, and that arm that laid at the back of your head curls around it, pulling you close by your neck. Youโre left with no choice but to cling to him and try to keep up with his merciless pace.ย
He tastes like alcohol with something deeper running, like an undercurrent, a ferocity only a beast could achieve. You feel intoxicated. Carrying you onto his lap, youโre overwhelmed by the feeling of something hard jutting up into your core. A growl pierces your ears when you donโt hesitate to grind down onto that hard length. Heโs leaking heat hotter than the fireplace, heโs hard and firm everywhere your hands can reach, and his clutch is frightening, gripping you like you could never escape even if you fought against him.ย
Youโve never been wetter.ย
โI can smell ya,โ he rasps. โBeen smelling this sweetness every day. You taste as good as you look or what?โ
Coarse and prickly, this beard is rubbing deliciously against your skin, reminding you from all angles that heโs kissing you, that he wants you just as bad as you want him, and he canโt get enough.ย
Burying your fingers in his thick hair, you moan when he licks a stripe up your neck, sniffing at your pulse point. โFind out for yourself.โ
His laugh is sudden and gravelly and itโs the last thing you think about before youโre being thrown on your back, legs spreading to accommodate his girth as he kneels above you, shirt going up and over before he throws it somewhere. With the fireplace highlighting the sharp contours of his face and his rippled chest, his beastly grin spikes your pulse and then heโs pinning you down with his body.ย
โI donโt think you understand the position yโr in, little girl,โ he taunts.ย
Using his claws, he rips up your top, exposing your tits to the air for just a second before he swallows one in his mouth, flicking a nipple with his tongue, all while heโs rolling his hips into yours creating a delicious friction that has your back arching and your jaw dropping.ย
โBeen dreaming about these pretty tits.โ He pinches the other, grinding his cock especially hard against your clit. The revelation falls on deaf ears when he smacks one. โFuuuuck, look at the way they bounce.โ
You pull at his hair and he lets you drag him back up to your lips, your nipples sore and tickled by the hairs on his chest whilst he rises up your body. โKiss me.โ
And he does, swallowing your moans he continues squeezing and groping your tits, but he leaves your lips swollen quickly after as he begins his descent, peppering a trail of kisses.ย
Pressing a nose right up at the apex of your thighs, he takes a looooong inhale, a satisfied growl echoing in the darkness. Your face heats up, legs threatening to close around his head but his big paws holds them open, nails digging with the promise of pain if you dare shut them away from him.ย
โYou been flaunting a scent thatโs got my mouth watering more than any of your baked goods,โ he huffs, eyes narrowing at the wet spot leaking through. He thumbs at it, pressing down as if he could force everything youโve got to give out. โโS not fair, ma. Waited so long for you to give in to me, heh, gonna make you regret that.โ
โToji!โย
He rips up your pyjama bottoms too and hooks his fingers into the gusset of your panties before those are flying away, shredded beyond hope, and cool air grazes your sloppy slit.ย
Not a single second is wasted before he digs in, lapping up your pussy with a fearsome snarl. The tip of his long, slobbery tongue circles your pulsing clit, tweaking it when you whine. โFuck, you taste this good and ya been holding out on me? Selfish little cunt, hmm?โ
Hands flying up to grip his hair for purchase, you fall victim to his incessant licking and sucking and slurping as he flattens your thighs open, the scraggly hairs of his beard tickling your sensitive skin which grows clammier and clammier with the heat of his mouth, his body, and the fireplace.ย
When he curls two thick fingers in, stretching your walls further than you could with your own, your eyes fly open. โNo! Ngh, too much.โ
Still sucking at your clit, he shoves those fingers in and out, dragging them on his way to really take in the squishiness of your insides, forcing out those loud squelches. You tug at his scalp and he lifts up just a little to snap his maw, missing your clit by a hairโs breadth.ย
โDonโt get in the way of my meal, โcause this?โ He slaps your pussy, juices splashing and he barks a mean laugh. โThis is mine now.โ
Your orgasm washes over you when his lips sucks your clit with a tongue flicking the little button at the exact same time those long digits curls up and lays successive presses against that smooth part inside of you.ย
Tojiโs entire mouth engulfs your pussy, sharp teeth grazing your skin whilst he suckles on your sweet essence, drinking like a man lost in a desert, his personal oasis. โAh, yโr no good for me, ma. Gonna get me addicted on this sloppy fucking cunt.โ
Panting desperately, you writhe on the floor, feverish and crazed. He doesnโt give you a break, doesnโt let you catch your breath, before he shoves his pants down and lets his cock spring out.ย
Just the like rest of him, his cock is huge โ long, thick, and throbbing with veins running up the length, carving a path up to his leaking cockhead which flushes a sinful dark red, promising a painful stretch. At the base, thereโs coarse hair, wild and untamed like any other part of his body, and oh, God, those balls, they hang heavy, too heavy.ย
He snaps his fingers in front of your face and chuckles before he orders simply, โSuck.โ
As if entranced, you scramble onto all fours, crawling forward so you can nudge his length with your cheek, his slit leaving a wet trail. He smells like a beast of the earth and it has your pussy drooling, a fat droplet sliding down your thigh and you shut your legs tight in a pathetic attempt to quell that ache. After all, you are much too preoccupied with this monstrous thing in front of you.ย
You peer up at him and stick your tongue out, licking from the very base, catching a little bit of his ball sac, and tilting back to reach his tip where you skim the underside. A large hand slides into your hair softly before it bundles up your hair in its angry grip pulling your head back into an uncomfortable angle so you can face his savage scowl.ย
โI know yโr not deaf. Fuck did I say? Huh?โ He pushes your face into his balls, smothering you. โBe a good girl and suck, yeah?โ
So you do.ย
Suckling on his balls, much like how he did with your tits, you try to take as much of him as you can before you canโt bear it any longer and you wrap your lips around his cock head, savouring the salty drops that coat your tongue. Everything about him is strong, from his grip to his scent and especially his taste. Itโs as if he was built to dominate, to fill up every senses until you can think of and feel nothing but him.
You gag, overwhelmed by the intrusion.ย
He tuts, thoroughly scolding when he drawls, โIf ya canโt take me properly with yโr mouth, then thereโs no way you can take me with yโr pussy. Wanna prove me wrong, kid?โ
You push past the painful stretch of your jaw, gliding as much as of his length into your throat as you can, thumb being pinched by your fist. Not even halfway down, you go back up again, not letting go of his tip before you slide back down, and you repeat that motion, taking more and more of him as you go.ย
When you hollow your cheeks to suck him in deeper, you see him throw his head back, his abs tensing and becoming prominent, you scrape your nails down that trail of hair before it finds his balls, massaging in the way you know not even he could resist.ย
โFuck. Tryna -ha- make me cum so soon? Naughty,โ he says.ย
In a flash, youโre being pulled off his cock and pushed back onto the rug once more. Your ankles are clasped in one of his hand, extending your legs high up in the air. โW-what are you doing?โ
Cracking his neck slowly, the flames of the fireplace still as virile as ever, Toji looks downright sadistic with the way he grins at you.
โJust enjoying my meal to the fullest.โ He pushes his cock through your thighs, right on top of your slit, lathering the underside with your overflowing juices. He groans, sharp teeth catching on his bottom lip. โWeโre both gonna cum like this and then Iโm putting you to bed.โ
Slightly distracted by the way his cock is catching on your clit with every slide back and forth, you ask with a frown, โBut why canโt you just fuck me now?โ
He laughs. He fucking laughs. And then heโs bending your legs back towards your chest as he leans in close, placing your calves on his shoulders so you can see his face far too clearly. Rubbing the bristles on his jaw on your skin, he lays a soft kiss on your ankle before he scrapes the bone with a canine.ย
โBecause I fuck rough, city girl. Yโr gonna be bruised, sore and all chewed up and you canโt complain if you hopped on my dick willingly, no?โ You canโt answer. โYeah, glad we agree. So donโt open that pretty mouth of yโrs unless itโs to moan my name, and keep yโr legs tight for me; no one wants to fuck something loose and limp.โ
โHurry up and get it over with!โ
Doing just that, he thrusts like a madman, using you like a rag doll to chase his pleasure. Youโre being jostled on the floor, the rug burning your skin and your hair so close to being singed by the embers of that fire heโs been tending to, setting alight and snuffing like clockwork every day.
His balls slap against your ass, as if pounding you too.ย
Itโs all so dirty, so obscene, so wet any rational thought you should have been having about letting someone whoโs practically a stranger fuck your thighs like youโre nothing but a slippery hole fly out the window.ย
The slight sheen of sweat on his chest is making you restless โ you canโt focus on one thing, not the way heโs holding your legs tight, hugging them to his torso like you might run away, the way the friction of his cock rubbing against your clit is bringing you closer to orgasm, and not how your wetness is making embarrassing squelches that you know his hybrid ears can hear in even greater clarity than you can.
โOh! T-toji! I think Iโm -ngh- gonna -ha- cum.โ
He bites down hard on your calf just as his hips stutter and his scalding spurts splash onto your chest, even reaching your chin and cheeks. A drop falls into your mouth which is stuck in an O-shape as you orgasm at the same time, digging your nails into the carpet and thrashing your head around as the euphoric feeling wash over you from inside and out.ย
Panting, you manage to breathe out, โY-you made me all sticky.โ
โNot fucking sorry.โ Toji licks the red mark on your leg away and presses a kiss right in the centre of the two half moon crescents made by his teeth marks. Your heart beats faster. When his green eyes rove over your body, you both see and feel the deep rumble of satisfaction bubbling from his chest. He runs two fingers down your chest and your stomach, collecting his cum before he smears it on your lips. โNot fucking sorry at all.โ
Your eyes threaten to shut and he grunts, realising he must have exhausted you despite the fact that it was he who pushed themselves through the elements for hours and not you.
โAlright, up and at โem. Letโs get ya cleaned up, kid.โ
Hauling you onto your feet, the rest of the night goes by in a blur โ youโre taken to the bathroom and wiped down by a wet cloth, redressed in new pyjamas, and tucked in all nice and warm in your own bed. He leaves. Even half-asleep, you find that act ever so slightly disheartening.ย
It feels like youโve been used, like the act wasnโt as intimate as you might have thought. It leaves you biting your nail and groaning inwardly. Of course he didnโt think much about it. The man looks older than you, heโs probably fucked the thighs of many girls and youโre no one special, right?
Maybe the best thing to do is to take a page out of his book and just be casual, so at least you wonโt humiliate yourself by asking something absolutely ridiculous like โwhat are we?โ
God, the thought makes you grimace.ย
You make a promise to yourself to swear off Toji until the snow thaws enough to get down and up this cursed mountain. The mental fortitude youโve erected seems so solid, so reliable and firm, you actually believe youโll have a more than easy time keeping your hands, and your heart, to yourself.
That is until he returns smelling of soap and he slides right in behind you, tucking an arm under your back and pulling you into place with your head resting on his hairy chest.
โHad to cut my shower short โcause youโre gnawing yโr fucking fingernail off. Cut it out, will ya?โ
Your bedmate swats at your hand, pulling it away from your anxious mouth and playfully bites your wrist. That hand stays in his grip. Heart ceasing its painful clenching, you make yourself comfortable in his embrace, enjoying the heat enveloping you, hotter than any fire.
Clearing your throat, you mutter, โThanks for today, Toji. Really. I couldnโt have ever done that without you.โ
He huffs a laugh, thoroughly amused.
โWouldnโt hafta if I wasnโt eating up all yโr food.โ His voice booms under your cheek, the vibrations lulling you to sleep. Youโve only just noticed how nice he sounds, itโs a captivating timbre, rough and scratchy like bark but comforting and unyielding in a way youโve never known anyone to sound. โYa wouldโve been fine without me, anyways. Donโt sell yโrself short.โ
โI think itโs you whoโs selling yourself short.โ
Those are the last words exchanged between you before you two fall asleep.
โโโโโโโโโ
โFuck you up to?โ Toji grouses.ย
His voice is laced with sleep and heโs rubbing his eyes, all bleary and confused. He has every right to be considering youโre under the covers, mouthing at his dick and stroking the morning wood that woke up before him. The duvet gets pulled up, revealing your less than innocent smile.ย
Kissing his slit, which prompts a heavy hand to lay on your head, you ask, โWaking you up?โ
An arm folds under his head, getting him into a great angle to see you much more clearly. His brow rises up, challenging, and he teases, โYeah? Well, Iโm up, ma, so what now?โ
The radiators have yet to be turned on this morning so the air is chilly in your room, but still you push those covers back, showing him how youโre completely bare in the bottom, wearing only your shirt to bed. His spare hand falls on your plump thigh, squeezing and kneading.ย
โLast night,โ you begin, raising your hip so you can seat yourself down on his hard length, โyou told me youโd only fuck me if I hopped on your dick willingly. So here I am.โ
Youโre rubbing your already soaked pussy up and down on his cock, coating him with your wetness just as he did last night. You feel every delectable ridge catching your clit and you grind down on him with shameless abandon. How could you ever possibly feel shame when it feels so good and heโs not even inside you yet? When heโs looking at you like that? Like youโre the tastiest prey whoโs ever walked into his trap?
He pushes a thumb into your mouth, watching your lips wrap around it like you did the night before and this morning, before he drops his hand to the apex of your thighs, massaging tight circles into that bundle of nerves, forcing breathless moans out of you. โYa gonna ride me, doll? Gonna show me just how willing you are?โ
โUhuh.โ Grinning, you let him pull the shirt up and over your head, nipples pebbling immediately. He flicks one, palming the fatty globe to soothe the dull pain.
Steadying yourself with your hands on his abs, you lean forward and steal a kiss. Itโs supposed to be a peck, just a polite, cursory smooch but then he stops groping your tit to use that hand to keep your faced pressed to his. Toji deepens the kiss, shoving his tongue inside and exploring your mouth. Heโs stealing air from you and the longer he keeps you submerged, the more you moan.ย
In the haze of the heat heโs growling into you, you fail to realise heโs let go of your head and is now slotting his cock into your pussy.ย
โW-wait, Toji!โ
The stretch is overwhelming; you hadnโt prepped yourself enough but neither of you seem to care. Itโs hard to when his cock head is already pushing through that tight ring of muscle and is worming its way deeper inside you.ย
He hisses. โSo fucking tight! Fuck, gotta relax, ma.โ
โIโm -ngh- trying!โ
Down and down, your cunt swallows as much of him as it can. Youโve pushed yourself upright, using gravity to aid the descent. Nothing else in the room has his attention. Nothing could ever take his attention. โOh fuck, would you look at that? Greedy pussy canโt get enough, can she? Dirty girl heh.โ
You bottom out, lips tickled by the hairs at his base.ย
โYouโre so big, Toji.โ
Both of his arms reach for you, gripping your ass and lifting you up just a little only to let go and let you drop down. You screech. Heโs reaching every part of you inside, and when you look down, youโre so certain you can see the outline of him pushing through your stomach. You clench.
โAh, fuck! Donโt do that,โ he scolds you. โStart moving before I get bored.โ
The threat makes you frown but you do as he says anyways. Mustering all the strength you have, you start riding him, rising higher and higher each time until you get comfortable with his size. You canโt imagine any amount of prep would ever get you to take him with ease, but the overflowing juices coming from you is certainly helping; it leaves his hairs dewy.ย
Years past, or so it feels, as you grind and slide down on his length, and he doesnโt seem the least bit affected. That only fuels you harder. With a vendetta, you get up on your knees, keeping just his tip in, before you slam down.ย
You both moan.ย
โFuck!โ
His hands dig into your slippery flesh, careful of his sharp claws, but threatening to leave bruises just as he promised. The way heโs poking that sensitive spot inside you has you whimpering with every grind at just the right angle. You canโt imagine ever wanting to stop. Squelches after squelches echo in the room but thereโs no shame you can muster, not when he feels so incredible.
The pain is quickly spiralling into pleasure and every part of him is pushing you to the edgeโ his strength, his length and girth, his low groans and hisses, the hairs that tickle your skin, and those eyes, scouring your features and not missing a single thing.ย
Embarrassing sloshes and splats! are reverberating against the walls, just as the creaking of the bed frame, and the slapping of skin reach your ears. Youโve never heard yourself sound so dirty, so reckless, so downright pornographic. All of it is pulling you under even as the ache in your thighs from the overuse of them is making your rhythm irregular and jerky.
โGorgeous -ha- gorgeous girl,โ he says through gritted teeth.
His point is emphasised by a slap against your ass cheek, the sting makes you fall over, back onto his chest which is sticky with both of your sweat mixing and mingling. The hairs on his chest brush against your nipples, still sensitive from his rough sucking and biting last night, and you whimper.ย
Growling in your ear, he plants his feet onto the bed, and oh god, heโs grabbing your ass in both hands and you know without even having to look at him that heโs grown tired of your amateurish performance; Toji is taking matters into his own hand.ย
โGuess I still gotta do the -hah fuck- work โround here. Always such a โnghโ princess. Hold on tight, ma, โs gonna be a bumpy ride.โ His laugh rumbles under your body and an eye roll is all you can manage before youโre being pummelled into from underneath, jostling you in all sorts of directions.ย
Plunging his cock at an incredible speed, you feel him in your stomach, in your lungs, God itโs like heโs in your head, filling every fold and crevice with his beastly intensity. โToji! No! Ngh, s-stop! I canโt, fuck itโs so good! Yes! Oh! Oh! Nooooooooo.โ
โNo, yes, no? Make up your mind, ma. Use that city girl head for me,โ he growls out, punctuating his mean question with a cruel laugh.ย
Bundling your hair into a careless fist, he yanks you back from his chest, forcing you to confront him. Heโs not flushed, his face isnโt crumpled in desperation, he isnโt even out of breath. In fact, there would be no sign heโs enjoying this โyou, being inside you, holding you โ except for the bead of sweat trailing down his temple, drawing your attention to the way those jade beads are flickering between your eyes and your swollen lips.ย
โKiss?โ You ask, breathlessly.ย
Toji furrows his brows, something flashing in his gaze, something that resembles confusion, conflict, or hesitation. Itโs so quick you wonder if you imagined it but thereโs no time to ponder longer because he continues his incessant assault on your poor pussy, kissing your cervix with every thrust, practically rummaging your insides with the way heโs using you like a toy once again.ย
Itโs filthy, itโs carnal, animalistic and oh so good.
โYeah.โ He licks his lips, pearly white row of knives for teeth on perfect display. โGive me a big wet kiss, baby. Make it worth my -hngh fuck!- t-time.โ
He doesnโt give you a chance to stretch forward, he slams his face to yours, smacking his plump lips, gobbling you up despite your moans of surprise. He shoves his tongue in with as much ferocity as heโs thrusting his cock inside your poor battered pussy. That tongue licks and explores like he canโt get enough, like he wants to memorise every curve and edge.
SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!
A huge hand lays consecutive slaps against your ass again, the flesh rippling and burning. He times it with every thrust, heavy balls smacking your skin too. Itโs all too much too soon and you feel an orgasm bubbling from your throat and your cunt.ย
โW-what is that? Oh my god!โ Something thick is attempting to enter your sloppy pussy, round and threatening. You squeal when it pushes in after a particularly merciless thrust and grind from Toji. The extra stretch brings about a sharp pain. You tear up.ย
A hand thatโs clutching an ass cheek ventures deeper, trailing a finger to a hole youโve never touched. Smothered in his chest, the onslaught of stimulation from all angles is killing you. Thereโs nowhere to run, nowhere to breathe, no one to turn to for help from the man making good on his promise to leave you bruised, sore, and all chewed up.ย
โโs my knot, babygirl. Fuck, you really donโt know shit about hybrids, huh? Well, yโr gonna be educated soon.โ
The dark, sadistic tone of his is making you dizzy. In a panic, you hastily say, โN-no! I canโt. Really, Toji! I r-really canโt. Pleaseeee.โ
With your hair still in his grasp, your headโs tilted back once again, but this time to bare your slender neck. In one fell swoop, that bulge gets shoved inside your cunt, plugging you up, and his maw clamps down on your neck, so close to puncturing you with his savage teeth.
โOh! Iโm gonna cuummmm! Toji! T-Toji! Stop!โ Your jaw drops, eyes rolling back, and your nails dig into his meaty pecs for purchase. Itโs like electricity is wracking your body, sizzling every hair strand, tickling your nipples from inside. Grinding against his pelvis, your oversensitive clit is caught in his hairs, creating a remarkable friction you canโt escape. โOh, fuuuuuuuuuck!โ
Broken chuckles emerge from his sinful mouth, โGo on, ma. Cum on my cock, milk me, just like that, oh shit, such a good girl, fuck!โ
His brutal pace splutters as he follows suit, balls clenching whilst your walls attempt to push out the invasion of his cock and his knot. A crazed laugh echoes right by your ear, you donโt know whatโs so funny but stuttered moans are the only sounds you can make as you chase your high.ย
โAh, fuck, yโr so fucking tight. Practically -ha- choking me heh.โ
You feel hot cum paint your insides, drizzling down your walls with nowhere to go. Heโs thoroughly filled you and when you attempt to lift your hips to get up, you realise, heโs not letting you go any time soon.ย
โNice try, ma. Unfortunately for you, yโr stuck with me for about twenty minutes or so till it goes down. Probably shouldโve bought condoms heh.โ
โYou should have given me a warning, Toji,โ you mumble, pouting.ย
Goosebumps litter your arms; the chill of the morning air is settling reminding you just how bare you really are. Thankfully you donโt have to suffer for too long because heโs shuffling so he can throw the covers over the both of you. With his natural body heat, youโre more than warm and cozy, especially as his burning cock is still inside you.ย
He licks a dried trail of tears on your cheek. โSorry. Thought you knew.โ
โWell, I didnโt. This is my first time with a hybrid.โ
Grunt.ย
A beat or two passes, a comfortable silence humming between you. Heโs so big and meaty it feels like youโre going to melt into him. Now that youโre not so distracted by cock and cum, and the morning light is shining through the curtains, you can see his scars much more clearly. Heโs littered in them, some like slashes and others just scarred-over holes.
You have so many questions, none of them leave the tip of your tongue.ย
โAsk.โ
You pause. โCan I?โ
Huff.ย
โOkay,โ you trail off. โWhy do you have so many scars?โ
Tickling your spine with his callouses fingers, he skims your back absentmindedly. You lay your chin on his chest, watching him look at somewhere in the corner of the room, clearly falling fast in an endless hole of memories. This is a rare opportunity to more about the enigmatic wolf-man who showed up at your doorstep in the middle of a snow-storm, claiming to have known your late grandmother.ย
More silence fills the air. His fingers have stopped.
You nuzzle his jaw with your nose, burying it in his beard. It seems to snap him out of his daze. He grunts once more, licking your cheek, not to taste the salt on your skin, but as if to say โthanksโ.ย
โBeen on my own for a while. For as long as I can remember, actually. Itโsโฆtough out there. Not everyone is as nice as you and your gran.โ
Carefully, you hazard a guess. โWere these from people? Hybrids or normies?โ
He gropes your ass like a stress ball.ย
โBoth.โ
โI mean, Iโve heard stories of the kind of abuse and discrimination hybrids face from normies, itโs quite prevalent in the city despite recent equality laws but why would your own kid hurt you? Arenโt you all in the same boat? Isnโt there some kind ofโฆcamaraderie? Sorry, is that insulting to assume?โ
Spanking your ass, he huffs a laugh. โYouโre adorable. No, donโt look at me like that, kid. Itโs cute of you to think thatโs how it works.โ
โIt isnโt?โ
You donโt take offence to his patronising tone; you had expected to be wrong about aspects of hybrid life. Normal, average humans outnumber hybrids at a ratio of four to one. Some hybrids are lucky enough to be passing, kinda like Toji, but others carry visible signs of their anthropomorphic genes. The latter are rarely treated well despite the fact that theyโve existed just as long as normies have. They used to live in their own continents, building large civilisations far more expansive than humans have achieved at that time.ย
But war is a cruel mistress.
For many reasons, humans and hybrids stayed away from each other. It was only relatively recently theyโve begin co-existing, even inter-mixing. The change has been hard for many people. Perhaps not most of society, but enough to make the idea of living as a hybrid make you grimace.ย
โNah,โ he says, almost finishing his reply there until he sees your inquisitive eyes and he continues, โthereโs lots of different kinds of hybrids. We donโt all like each other. And not all of us running the same race. Thereโs a lot of competition, suspicion and hatred. โs always been the case.โ
Nodding, you prod further. โAnd your scars? Did they come from bar brawls or something?โ
โSome, yeah. Others from professional fights.โ
You perk up.ย
โProfessional fights?โ
In a flash, the cover is falling onto the floor and youโre upright once more. Tojiโs pushed the both of you up and off the bed, holding you in his arms with his softening cock slipping out of your pussy. You scramble to gain better grip of him.
โOh my god! Give a girl a little warning. God, Toji! Itโs cold.โ
He licks your ear.ย
โSorry.โ He doesnโt sound sorry at all. With ease, he carries you out of your room and into the bathroom. โLetโs wash up and start the day. โm starved.โ
Rolling your eyes, you let him have this one chance at evading your question; youโre just pleased to have learnt a little more about him. It feels like heโs letting you in, presenting himself openly just for you. For a wild man like him, whose solitary despite his nature, this is the greatest gift he could give you.
Tojiโs a thorough washer โ he shampoos your hair better than you ever have and not a single crook or cranny gets overlooked. But as soon as you get clean, the so-called day doesnโt get started anytime soon when he falls to his knees and shoves his face into the apex of your thighs, making a loud sniifffff before he growls and laps up the mixed juices of his and your cum.ย
In next three days that pass, you notice the dynamic between you shifts.ย
For one, he no longer sleeps in his own room but rather in yours. He follows suit after dinner and removes his shirt, freshly showered and completely bare, and hands it to you wordlessly. You wear his shirt, and only his shirt, to bed.ย
Lunch is no longer eaten separately. He joins you wherever you are, whether thatโs in your room, all warm and cozy under a mountain of blankets, or on the sofa, also all warm and cozy under a mountain of blankets. You watch movies on your laptop and he never argues with your choices. Sometimes he just eats in silence, right beside you, as you read a book or stare out the window.ย
Tojiโs much more touchy now. Before, he was sneaking in grazes and quick gropes, now heโs lost all reservation and politeness. When youโre cooking, stirring something as you hum to music, he creeps up behind you, pinning your body to the counter with his hips and he wraps an arm around your torso to weigh a breast in his palm, squeezing and massaging for his own pleasure.ย
Heโll tweak a nipple, pushing your hair back to skim his nose against the length of your neck, inhaling deeply and stopping to mouth wet kisses on that bruising around the teeth marks heโs left there.ย Most times heโll let you be after heโs had a fill of your softness, but sometimes he kneels behind you and tears apart your pants with a resounding SSSSSNAP! Before he laps up your pussy from behind, food coming out just a little more cooked than youโd like, though he never seems to mind.ย
And it must be worth mentioning that the sex is constant.ย
Every night and every morning. It isnโt a stretch to say that you eat, sleep and breathe sex with Toji. Which you honestly canโt complain about. Itโs always so rough and so good every time.ย
However, his insatiable appetite is making it ever so slightly hard for you after โ thereโs a perpetual soreness in your joints and in your pussy, you find yourself looking behind you to make sure that when you bend down to pick up whatever it is youโve dropped he wonโt be there playing with your cunt with his fingers and/or mouth.ย
His hearing is incredible.ย
Sometimes you hide just to time how long it takes for him to find your hiding spot. Longest time was three minutes. The cabin isnโt the biggest in the world but there are plenty of places to hide, like closets, under the bed, behind sofas and doors.ย
Still hard at work fixing bits and pieces around the cabin, Toji somehow always knows when youโre up to some mischief. Maybe itโs because your heart starts beating faster or because you let out some giggles, envisioning that glint in his eyes and in his teeth when he grins at your pathetic attempts to escape him.ย
Or maybe, just maybe, itโs because your panties get soaked with anticipation for his rough, calloused hands throwing you over his shoulder and onto a bed, his or yours he doesnโt care, and fucking you into a drooling mess. Sometimes he even gets so impatient, so riled up, he just takes you wherever you are, your face smothered in a pile of folded clothes or against the wall with your panties dangling from an ankle.ย
Everything has been great. So great in a way youโve never known greatness to manifest. Itโs somewhat akin to, what you can only imagine to be, the completely liberating sensation of flapping your wings and cruising high up in the sky or running through a stream, chasing a fish with no end in sight. Itโs the kind of greatness men strive for all their lives but never reach because itโs a greatness they were already born into and never realise.ย
The routine, the mundane, the ordinariness.ย
Itโs all so great.ย
At night, you trace nonsensical words and shapes into his skin, smiling at the soft snores that vibrate under your head. Youโve always thought living every day the same as the day before and the day before that as a labyrinth youโve been sentenced to die in, a cage or a prison of your own making. But now, you canโt imagine ever wanting more.ย
Of course, it hasnโt been perfect. ย
You still find some moments a little too boring but those are usually when heโs busy fixing a wobbly chair or grouting the tiles in the bathroom. And you do crave the feeling of driving through a long, empty road, or eating fast food. Those moments, thankfully, are hastily washed away once you feel his calloused hands tethering you back to him.
One other problem youโre having is his beard. As attractive as it is, itโs scratching up your thighs a little too much. Youโve noticed the rash forming between your legs; he has a penchant for eating you out at the drop of a hat and heโs not gentlemanly about it. At. All. You donโt ever want him to stop and the threatening snarl he makes every time you attempt to push him away from your swollen and overstimulated pussy never fails to halt your movements.ย
So thereโs only one solution.
โToji?โ He lazily drags his gaze up your bare legs, stopping by the hard nipples poking through shirt, and then he meets your gaze with a brow raised. โWould you ever consider shaving your beard?โ
The growl of โnoโ comes before you could even finish the word โshavingโ. His jaw clenches and a muscle ticks.ย
โBut I can shave it for you. Being a woman, itโs kinda part of my existence. Iโll do you up real nice.โ
โHell will sooner freeze over before I let anyone put something sharp against my neck again. Even if theyโre you.โ
You drop it for now.ย
At night, after hours of mind-blowing sex, you lay all sweaty and sleepy on his chest once more with a heavy arm slung over your waist. You twist the hairs on his face, rolling a couple strands between your fingers. Theyโre quite long and thick. You wonder when the last time he had shaved was.ย
โPlease?โ
โNo.โ
You sigh.ย
The next morning, youโre in the bathroom, sitting on the bathtub and attempting to rub some soothing ointment meant for your face onto the irritated skin of your inner thighs. Itโs getting worse and youโre at a loss. Making it hard to walk, youโre cursing every god out there for doing this to you.ย
Is his aversion to sharp objects near his head because of some trauma or an animalistic instinct? Itโs hard to tell with hybrids, as the internet forums youโve explored lecture โ hybrids are both governed by human complexity and base biological instincts. Studies that have been done on them over the year have put forth some credible results but people are quick to put a disclaimer that animals in captivity rarely behave the way they would in the wild.
You sigh again.
Maybe youโll have to tell him to stop eating you out. You cringe. That wonโt go down well, pun intended, and you donโt want him to. Frowning, you carefully massage in the ointment, hissing at particularly sensitive spots.ย
โFine. You can shave it off,โ he grumbles.ย
You hadnโt even realised he was standing in the doorway, watching, and scratching his beard like heโs noticing, really noticing, the hairs on his face. One glance at the mirror across the room and heโs furrowing his brows, perhaps baffled at the man staring back at him.ย
His tone is hostile, but his acquiescence makes you smile.ย
About ten minutes later, youโve sat him down on the edge of the bathtub, right where you were before, and youโve assembled everything you need: razors, scissors, a comb, shaving cream, towels, and a tub of aloe vera to soothe any razor burns. Everything but the aloe vera is pretty pink, and you canโt help but giggle a little as you take a step back to admire this big, burly man surrounded by utterly feminine products.ย
โAlright, Iโll start by trimming it, okay? I donโt want to come at it straight away and spook you, so letโs take it nice and slow.โ
He huffs. โDonโt gotta talk to me like Iโm a kid. Do what you gotta do.โ
With the scissors and the comb, you cut away at his beard, snipping here and there and trying to get it all even. Itโs not an easy job โ he growls when you venture too low, past his jawline and closer to his Adamโs apple and when he makes that throaty sound, youโre met with images of him biting into your throat, the way a dog does when you step on its tail.
Terrible as it is to compare a biological human male like Toji to an animal, itโs a fair comparison considering his reliance on his animal instincts. Itโs been abundantly clear in the way he uses his senses to gain his bearings, how he never expresses a desire beyond eating, sleeping and fucking. Thereโs no vanity coursing through his blood, he doesnโt stare at himself in reflections, doesnโt fix up his hair or put on clothes that fit or match, and even how he doesnโt ever say pretty words, only what he means, no more and no less.ย
Itโs nice.ย
So used to the way people sugarcoated their complaints or hid ulterior motives in every sickly sweet words, adjusting to Tojiโs matter-of-fact way of speaking had been somewhat difficult.ย
But change is necessary. Just as the seasons change, so do animals, even humans. With how they adapt to the change in the wind, the drop in the temperature, the quake in the earth, you know without needing to ask questions or to have more time with him, the hybrid in front of you, part wolf and part man, has never had the luxury of being stagnant.ย
It was clear when he showed up at your door with no bag, just the clothes on his back and the muddy, worn down boots on his feet. Even fully fed, lounging on the sofa by the fire with his feet and torso bare, you sense the tension freezing his body; heโs always ready to run.ย
He snarls and flinches when he feels the cold blade of your scissors touch his skin. And then his hand grips your thigh, both in warning and to tether himself, perhaps to remind him youโre not a monster thirsting for blood, his blood, but rather just a woman. A woman heโs seen completely bare, a woman whoโs crawled on all fours and nuzzled her face against the seam of his jeans when he returns from fixing a tile on the roof, and a woman whoโs laid it all out for him, starting from what led you here and ending to where you want to be.ย
Uncomfortable and on edge, you already know youโre not going to get very far with the way heโs being. He needs a distraction.ย
You kiss him. He growls for a different reason this time. Fingers threading in your hair, he holds you down to him, tasting the sweetness youโre offering. He laps it up. โToji, Iโm not going to hurt you.โ
Face burying into your neck, he takes a long inhale there. โI know.โ
โIโm gonna get started on the shaving cream, okay?โ
His grip on you tightens and you know heโs aware that razors are sharper than scissors, much like how his teeth are sharper than yours. You donโt want to know what events heโs lived through to be so hostile against the act of shaving but he isnโt an animal, not fully, anyways.ย
Heโs also a man.ย
And men conquer.ย
Even when they shouldnโt.ย
You slide your panties down, dangling it in the air for a second, hesitating but you see the appraisal in his eyes, always so suspicious like heโs thinking of all the ways one could be killed with a scrap of lace. Dropping it on his face, you tell him, โI donโt see why only one of should be vulnerable here.โ
Rumbling a pure sense of bliss, his eyes flutter shut and he sniffs at your panties. His hand flies up to your slit just as youโre smearing shaving cream all over his jaw, pulling the panties away from him for a second.ย
โSeeing me all tense is getting you soaked?โ His lip twitches.ย
โHey, now, letโs not even get started on that seeing as youโre pretty hard for someone suffering some internal battle.โ
He gives you a rare grin.ย
The rest of the torture goes on in relative peace โ you shave him bit by bit, going slowly and keeping your touch gentle especially as you near the softness of his neck and when you go over it with the razor, he takes a deep inhale of your panties, trying to shake off that unnatural acceptance of something so dangerous, so compromising, so utterly unlike him. After every slither of skin youโve rid of hair, you give him a kiss which he insists on deepening, shoving fingers into your cunt just to feel you clench down on him.ย
Soon, heโs completely smooth and itโs only when you step back that you take it all in. He was handsome with the beard and heโs just as handsome now. He also looks more youthful, more boyish, and free.ย
Toji comes to a stand, staring at himself in the mirror. He doesnโt say a word, neither do you. A barrage of thoughts pass through his mind, flashing and flickering. His fingers feel his skin, jerking at the complete bareness of it all. You canโt tell if he likes it, if he regrets his choice, and if he even recognises the man under all that wild and untamed hair. He had been running so long as a wolf, perhaps heโs forgotten how to walk as a man.ย
Thatโs what you think, until he makes some gesture with his hand and he says, โGot no reason to push me away now, so spread those legs, ma. Letโs go for a test drive.โ
You donโt leave that bathroom until hours later, sore, wet, sticky and thoroughly blissed out.
The next day, just before lunchtime, Toji goes to chop up some more wood for the fireplace whilst the snow has stopped falling just for today. Youโre watching him through a window, bundled up in a blanket holding a steaming cup of hot chocolate, and not at all envious of him, what with the chilling weather and his lack of a coat.ย
You really have to buy him one. He doesnโt look the least bit cold, which you donโt really understand, but still, something about the picture looks off. Itโs not fair you get to be all comfortable, lazing around, and heโs hard at work.ย
The phone rings.ย
Your head snaps to the coffee table which your phone lies on, vibrating against the wood. A new number. When you answer, youโre surprised to recognise the voice immediately.ย
โHi. Yes, Iโm managing quite fine.โ
The old man sighs. โHow glad am I to hear that. The storm has made it rather hard to get a hold of you and I certainly couldnโt make the journey up.โ
โThatโs quite alright. I really appreciate the thought, itโs very sweet of you.โ
Exchanging pleasantries and talks about the various favours he owed your grandmother, over five minutes pass, and youโre itching to urge Toji back inside, fearing that he could drop dead at any second from the chill.
Eventually, and thankfully, the conversation nears an end with him insisting that as soon as the snow thaws enough you come on down for dinner at his home. He says his sons and their wives all love a good, hearty meal as a family. There are even grandchildren for you to play with should adults not be your speed. โYes, yes, of course. That sounds great, thank you.โ
โAlright, bye, dear. Iโll call back again to check up on you and please remember you can always call on me and my kids for help.โ
Humming, youโre about to end the call when his tone changes.ย
โSpeaking of help,โ he begins, clearing his throat. โHow have you been managing to get on so well?โ
Tojiโs still chopping wood, swinging that heavy axe back behind his head and down in one smooth strike, cutting the log in a perfect half. You press your legs together, unable to take your eyes off his bulging biceps. You love when he shows off his strength, it comes so effortlessly to him, unlike the men where youโre from whose muscles are all for show, satisfying their own vanity and quelling their insecurities momentarily before theyโre inhaling steroids like air.ย
โOh, you know, this man my grandmother befriended over the years came by and has been helping me out since. Heโs quite familiar with the ins and outs of the cabin so I really couldnโt have done any of this without him. Iโd like to bring him along to dinnโโ
โA man?โ
You frown. โYeah, Toji. Surely you must have met him at some point since he and my grandmother were quite close.โ
โI knew it! I knew I saw him here days ago. Oh, goodness. Iโm so sorry you ran into him, but please stay away from him.โ
What the hell is this man talking about?
โNo, itโs Toji, he helped my granny during the winter months. He fixed things up for her and helped her get around. He was like a friend to her in ways me and my siblings should have been. Heโs really nice, youโll like him.โ
The man in question is scratching his jaw, still getting used to being so bare, and heโs rolling his head around as if bothered by some crick in his neck. Heโs got an impressive pile of logs waiting to be fed to the fireplace and you know heโs going to head back in any second now. For some reason, you feel guilty, like youโre doing something you shouldnโt be, talking to someone you shouldnโt talk to.ย
โY/n, listen to me. Please!โ The urgency, the insistence, and desperation in the old manโs voice is palpable, a hand reaching through the screen and choking air right out from your lungs. Your heart begins galloping. โThat man is a criminal. Heโs wanted, a fugitive! H-heโs a killer.โ
Confused and somewhat exasperated, you argue, โNo, youโve got the wrong man. Iโm telling you, weโre talking about different people here.โ
You canโt shake off the abrupt shift in his voice. From caring old man with a shaky baritone to a firm, military like precision. Itโs as if you were talking to a completely different man.
A beat passes and you think heโs hung up, that this odd conversation is over and done with but one glance at the screen tells you differently. He doesnโt say a thing, and all you can hear is the rushing of the wind and grunts and thuds outside.ย
Irritated by this entire farce, your thumb moves to press the end-call button but then you hear him on the other line.
โDoes he have a scar on the corner of his mouth?โ
The blood drains from your face.
โH-how did you know that?โ
A noise of death and despair reaches your ears. Heโs shouting something to someone else, you can hear their alarm, can feel the anxiety, the dread and terror in their voices, muffled as they are. โGet away from him. Get away from him now! Do whatever you can. You mustnโt let him get his hands on you. H-heโs one of them. One of those abominations. A hybrid, a dangerous kind.โ
โWhat are you talking about? Just tell me whatโs happening, please, youโre not making sense right now.โ
โHe killed your grandmother!โ
You drop your mug. It shatters by your feet. The creamy chocolate milk pools into a puddle, soaking your socks. Thereโs ceramic chipping littering the floor and you canโt move, canโt go anywhere without taking a big leap.ย
Slowly, you look up from your phone screen, hearing subdued questions of fear and panic on the other end. Through the window, you meet Tojiโs eyes.ย
Heโs looking right at you.
You hang up.ย
It takes three seconds for him to get to the door, pushing it open. He shakes off the snow off his boots, banging them against the doorframe, and the axe he had been holding is set down by the shoe rack, the metal clinking, as he enters. Light from the ceiling bulb reflects directly off the sharpest point, shining in your eyes.ย Are necks harder to cut through than wood?
โYa alright?โ
Plastering a cheerful smile, you nod.ย
He doesnโt look convinced.ย
In a blink, heโs in front of you, cradling your face in one cold hand. He tilts your chin back and searches your eyes. He doesnโt seem to find what heโs looking for so he sniffs the air and his eyes darken. Slowly, like youโre a deer, he asks, โWhat are you so afraid of?โ
โOh, nothing. Really. I was just reading the news online and stumbled across articles about the war in that country in the East, yโknow, the one with the hospital bombing. Itโs terrible, isnโt it?โ
โI didnโt read it,โ he says. โShow me.โ
Your heart beats impossibly faster. You know he can hear it. Thereโs no way he canโt with his wolfish hearing and with a finger on your pulse. Maybe thatโs why his other hand, just as cold, wraps around your wrist and he tugs it towards him. His nails scrape against your skin and his hand eats up your wrist entirely, middle finger folding over his thumb. At any given second, he can snap the bone there and not bat an eye.ย
Laughing nervously, you tug your hand back, to no avail. With a forced nonchalant tone, you inform him, โI wanna get all cleaned up. I feel a little icky, and all sweaty and sticky from this morning so Iโm just gonna take a nice long bath.โ
He lets you shake him off but only after heโs taken the phone out of your death grip. He canโt unlock it, he doesnโt the password. But that was never his intention. He doesnโt even look down on the screen. As fast as you can without looking panicked, you stumble away from his reach and towards the door.ย
โY/n.โ
Your smile shakes.
โWhat did they tell you?โ
Your smile falls off altogether.ย
โToji,โ you begin, โp-please, letโs not do this.โ
His scar twitches and when he makes a step towards you, you step back. There. You almost missed it, almost blinked and lost your footing. But his eyes unmistakably flicker from you and to the side, by the door, at the shoe rack. You donโt need to turn back to know what exactly heโs eyeing. Calmly, he asserts, โYou wonโt last an hour outside. You wonโt even reach the forestโs edge before I get to you. You donโt know your way down. And if it ainโt me, itโll be the elements thatโll kill ya. Be wise, kid.โ
โIโll take my chances.โ
With the scarlet blanket still hanging off you, you dash towards the door, pulling the shoe rack behind you and the sound of clattering and a thud forces your legs pumping.ย
You run.ย
You run and you donโt look back, you donโt stop, not even for a second, not even when your socks are soaked with snow and not melted chocolate. The trees welcome you as you dash in between trunks, lunging over thick roots and dodging low hanging branches. You donโt know where youโre going, where you can go.ย
A sob rises from your throat, clawing its way out.ย
He was right. You donโt know your way down and the freeze is creeping in, frosting over your veins and seeping into your bones. The movies show the power of adrenaline all the time, how itโll wash away any and all feelings that arenโt helpful for survival, but itโs not enough.ย
Your muscles are aching, your cheeks are burning and your fingers are beginning to itch and tingle. You werenโt meant for survival. You werenโt meant to put up a fight.ย
When he gets to you, heโll snuff the light right out of your eyes with one swipe of his arm. Youโve seen what he can do with those hands, youโve felt the way they wrangled you into position, hell youโve drooled over the bruises heโs left on you. And you never once thought youโd be running from the hands that dragged you over a cliff of pleasure, that carried you around, and touched you so soothingly.
Without needing to hear heavy footfall, you know heโs after you. You have animalistic instincts too.ย
A dead woman running is what you are. You were dead as soon as you picked up that phone call.ย
No.ย
You were dead the moment you opened the door.ย
โFuck!โ You scream. Ignoring the ache in your legs and the pain in your ankles, you sprint as fast as you can. Your bodyโs being pushed to its limits; youโve never ran like this before. Granted, youโve never been chased by a murderer either.ย
The absurd turn of event make you laugh, deranged and broken, and it echoes around the forest. As far as you can see, thereโs only trees and snow, perfectly white, pristine snow. There are no roads, no houses, no people. No one to help. No one that can hear you scream.ย
You should have stayed in the city, should have never left, should have never gotten bored. Spontaneity isnโt your thing and youโre learning it the hard way. Thereโll never be an opportunity to put into practice the moral of the story thatโs being engraved into your DNA right now. No one will even notice youโre gone โ you arenโt close with your family, and you donโt have friends, not really anyways.
There will be no mourning, no grieving, there wonโt even be a goddamn funeral.ย
Heart threatening to tear through your body, you collapse against a tree. Youโre panting, chest heaving as you gulp down as much air as possible. The bark scratches your forehead but you canโt muster a shred of care, not when every limb is shaking both from the cold and the effort.
There are an array of shallow cuts all over your arms and face from where low hanging branches have whipped against your skin, attempting to get you in their clutches, to slow you down. The forest isnโt your friend. This isnโt your domain, Itโs his.
โY/n!โ
You smother the startled cry with the palm of your hand.
Heโs near.
Tears stream down your face, falling onto the snow beneath you. Numb, you briefly worry youโve lost your feet altogether. One glance down disproves that but youโre still not convinced. You hug the blanket closer around you; it does absolutely nothing to keep the warmth in and the cold out. And yet, you canโt bear to let it go.ย
โI can hear you.โ
Lips quivering, you bite down hard. Iron lays on your tongue. Thereโs nowhere to go. He had found you so quickly and he knows the forest better than you. How many times had he made the trip to that cabin? How many times had he sought out your grandmother? Had smiled at her, chopped up wood for her, had collected groceries and medicines? How many times had she let him in every time he knocked, every time he emerged from the shadows and soaked up the warmth of her kindness?
What were her last words?ย
No, please, donโt! Spare me?
Or why, Toji, why?
What will be yours?
A flash of movement catches your eye. Heโs not panting like you, heโs not even sweating. When he steps forward, brushing his hair back, you donโt fail to notice he didnโt come empty handed.ย
His eyes glint, sharper than the axe he carries, and heโs roving over your features, watching you tremble. One sniff and his scar is stretching.ย
โYโr afraid.โ
โYeah, no f-fucking kidding!โ
Even as he keeps his voice deceptively soft, much like how it is when heโs lulling you to sleep, you canโt stop staring at the axe. That stupid fucking axe he just had to bring with him. You sob.ย
โJust leave me alone, please.โ
Scoffing, he steps closer once more. โNot even gonna ask if I did or didnโt?โ
You shake your head.ย
โDonโt do this. Please, donโt do this.โ
He lunges, pinning you to a tree with a forearm to your throat. Radiating heat, your body betrays you and presses closer to him, desperate to envelope yourself in that warmth. You want nothing more than to be back in bed with him, oblivious to the rest of the world. You want to go back to before that phone call and make it so that you never found out, so that you never picked up the damn phone.ย
Teeth snapping a hairโs breadth away from your nose, he demands, โAsk.โ
โDid you?โ You scream at him. โDid you kill my fucking grandmother? After everything she did for you? After she showed you kindness and hospitality and gave you friendship? Did you kill her even after she begged? Did you watch the life fade from her eyes knowing she never got to say goodbye to me? To any of us?โ
His glare softens. Thereโs a tenderness swirling in those green eyes, a fervour and understanding that thaws your heart. He looks like the Toji you know, or rather, knew. He looks like the Toji that had pushed himself to trek in the snow for hours so you can be fed, the Toji that kept you company every day, that fixed things without needing to be asked, the one that made you coffee and knew just how you liked it, the one that traced patterns you had drawn him on your skin when he thought you werenโt awake.ย
โDid you kill her?โ
Scar grazing your lips as he inhales the shampoo from your hair, you feel his answer just as well as you hear it.ย
โYes.โ
A gunshot resounds in the air. Itโs sharp and startling, cutting through the crisp silence with a violent roar. The sound lingers in the air, echoing and rattling your bones like it had been fired inside you.ย
โGet the fuck away from her, beast!โ
You turn to the side. A man you donโt recognise is standing metres away holding a shotgun. His face is contorted in rage, creating deep shadows and wrinkles that make him look infinitely older than he likely is. Smoke wisps away from the barrel of his fun, pointed at the sky. A warning shot.ย
Toji pushes you behind him as he growls.ย
โFuck off. Sheโs mine.โ
You trip over your blanket. Through his legs, you see that man lower the gun till it points in your direction. Youโre frozen in place.ย
โLet her go and turn yourself in. An animal like you needs to be muzzled and put down,โ the man spits, venom flooding his words. He looks at you. โCome here. My father sent me. You know him.โย
Stumbling to a stand on shaky knees, you back away from Toji, going around the tree and making your way to the other side. He doesnโt stop you, just watches every move you make as if youโre standing in a field of landmines. His grip on the axe doesnโt loosen and he makes no sign heโs going to give himself up.ย
โT-Toji, donโt fight, please just come with us. If you give yourself up, maybe theyโll go easy on you,โ you plead.ย
He growls, grimacing. Heโs contemplating it. That means everything to you. In some sick, pathetic joke, you actually pity him. Thereโs still a huge part of you that cares, that wants whatโs best for him, that loves him. But that part needs to be extinguished because heโs a cold blooded killer and heโll turn those murderous hands on you.ย
Leg jerking, he makes a step towards you. It feels so right, you mirror his movement, like this one act, one sacrifice makes up for everything, like it erases the sins of his past and washes away the blood on his hands.ย
โAhh!โ Youโre yanked back by your hair.ย
โDonโt get near him, you stupid bitch! Heโs a fucking mongrel.โ
The snarl that ripples from Tojiโs throat pierces through haze, rustling the branches up above and forcing a flock of birds up and away. He charges towards you, axe raised up high and you shake yourself from the manโs clutches, jumping out of the way just in time before bodies collide and they both fall.ย
Rolling away, you bundle up the blanket youโre shielding yourself with and cry into it. The sound of bodies being beaten, arms bent, stomachs kicked and necks bitten into make you cringe. You cry harder. You donโt dare look at whoโs winning, you canโt bring yourself to look. Itโs because you donโt want to see the violence, donโt want to see blood, but thereโs a voice screaming that itโs because youโll die if the one who walks away from this isnโt Toji.ย
โDonโt fucking touch her!โ
โGet the fuck off me! You filthy mutt!โ
Youโre digging your nails into the bark of a tree, flinching with every blow. You hear fists slamming into flesh, each punch a blunt weapon bruising and breaking, bone-crushing swings whistling through air followed by sharp exhales of pain and vomit-inducing cracks and pops. The struggle is relentless, blow after blow, and you hear the gun clatter as itโs kicked to the side.ย
SNAP!
โYou should have never come back! You should have died on the side of the street after what you did to that womanโ
POP!
โAhhh! Fuck!โ
SMACK!ย
โYa donโt know shit!โ
The trees are spectators, moaning and whistling in protest at the unholy sight, at the splatters of blood contaminating their ranks. The branches shake in warning but no one is listening.
Whimpering, you hum a song, trying to block out the repulsive sounds of senseless violence. You should have never been here. You never visited because you couldnโt stand the isolation of a cabin in the mountains, couldnโt stand the unconditional love your grandmother gave you, of which you knew then and you know now, you were never deserving of.
If you had been dutiful and even had a fraction of her selflessness, you would have taken care of her so that she never relied on a man with sharp senses and a dangerous smile.
If you had been a good granddaughter, that man would be roaming the world, unburdened by material possession and human attachments. He wouldnโt be beating a man black and blue, wouldnโt be tearing flesh from bone, wouldnโt be debasing himself for your sake, or his. You donโt know anymore.
You turn to yell at him to stop, for him to run instead. But your words are swallowed by a gunshot.ย
A body falls to the floor in a dull thud. Crimson dyes the snow, puddling into a shade so dark you could always persuade yourself itโs not what you think it is. Time slows. You can see every flake of snow pause in the air, you can count them, can collect them in your hands. The wind has disappeared, leaving behind a stillness in the air thatโs suffocating, choking you from inside. Even the trees have stopped their moaning.
Your heart stops beating.
Someone stands over the body, holding a smoking gun, and it isnโt who you wanted it to be.
โToji!โ You scramble over, hands shaking harder than ever before.ย
Heโs clutching his chest. Hot liquid drenches your pants. You didnโt realise fresh blood would be so warm and you wish so badly it wasnโt because it means that the warmth that should be inside him is leaving, being absorbed by the ground, by you.
Green eyes, dulling, meet yours. He smiles. โShe asked me to. She was in pain. Couldnโt make it down through the snow. She asked me.โ
โN-no, stop it. Save your breath, please.โ Through your sobs, you turn to the nameless man, pale under the cuts all over his face as the snow and shuddering from the shock of what he had done. โCall the ambulance! Call somebody! Please!โ
โC-car. I-itโs in my car.โ Staggering back, he drops the gun and fishes out his keys, muttering frenzied apologies under his breath. He limps his way back, weaving through the trees. ย
Despite having less cuts and bruises, heโs in much worser state. His chest heaves and youโre trying to press down on the wound like youโve seen in the movies but you donโt know what youโre doing. You donโt know whether youโre supposed to be smothering the hole with a dirty blanket or if you should be performing CPR. No one had ever trained you for this. This wasnโt covered in any of those HR meetings. โOh, god, Toji. Iโm so sorry. This is all my fault. Oh. God. Iโm so so sorry.โ
Lifting a limp hand, he brushes a tear away only for it to be replaced by a hundred more. He huffs a weak laugh at the blood he smears on your face and he tries to brush that away too.
โIโd always wanted to meet you. She spoke of how beautiful, how kind and generous you are. Her favourite. Didnโt believe her, yโknow? I thought, no one could possibly be that nice if they never even visit their gran. But Iโd always wanted to know for myself.โ
You shake your head. He shouldnโt be speaking. He should be saving his breath, should be focusing on keeping awake until help arrives. โStop. Please, just stop. Donโt waste your energy on me. I-I donโt deserve it. I should have listened, should have heard you out. Oh, god, Toji.โ
He huffs an amused laugh. He sounds so clear, so loud, so alive you could actually convince yourself he doesnโt have a bleeding hole in his chest. But you canโt because you can feel the blood flowing out, itโs caking your legs and your hands.ย
โYou wanna know what I think, ma?โ Pulling you close, you donโt fight his grip. Through your whimpers, you press your ear to his lips, holding him close like you could will your own warmth to him, like you could jostle you both back to consciousness. โI think yโr even more beautiful than she said. My gorgeous gorgeous girl. Mine.โ
Itโs unclear if he said anything else after that; you could only hear your own pleadings and sobbing as his arms fall limp and his body grows cold. There came rustling from all over the forest like they heard a tree fell, a mighty and sturdy tree. They warned you. There are consequences to dirtying the snowโs purity, to upsetting the balance. Thatโs a lesson all animals know. But the battle that had gone on here wasnโt committed by preys and predators. Just men.ย
And men never learn their lesson until itโs far too late.ย
The trees cry with you.
For you.
When the marching of people came some time later, all yelling and barking orders to each other, they found you lying on his chest, just as you had for many nights and had imagined you would every night after, with a red blanket pulled over the both of you.ย
I saw the post about planning to escape the werewolf pack and telling Cyrus but him then telling on you.
I wonder what the aftermath to that would be (the โจdramaโจ)
YESSSSS ILY AND I LOVE DRAMA AND ANGST WOOOO
Trying to Escape the Pack Part 2
CW: kidnapping, betrayal, manipulation
You clutch Cyrusโ sleeve, eyes darting furtively and voice quiet, as you ask him whether he thinks that maybeโฆ the two of you could escape together. His heart constricts in his chest, eyes darting over your face.
โMaybe,โ he whispers, shakily wiping away a stray tear of yours.
You and Cyrus come up with a plan, and agree to meet outside in the dark of night. Youโve been given just enough freedom and leeway from the werewolves that you might be able to slip out unnoticed.
~~~~~~
Except that when itโs nighttime, and you tentatively step out back, Cyrus isnโt thereโ Mason, Hunter, and Ace are.
They bring you back into the lodge, and lock you into the recently refurbished basement. They make sure you have food, drinks, blankets, softcover books. Just nothing sharp, or heavy, that you could feasibly throw at them.
~~~~~~
Over the next few days, or weeks, werewolves come in one by one, or a few at a time, to look after you, keep you company, and bring you gifts, trying to ease you into life with them.
Everyone except Cyrus. He sits outside the door, listening to you talk to yourself or the other werewolves. He canโt stand the guilt that would come with seeing you.
The moment you had come to him that day, begged him to escape with you, his heart leaped, thinking you wanted to be with him, wanted him.
But he knew there was no escape. Heโd tried a few times, and never got far. Cyrus also couldnโt help but think that maybe, you hadnโt grown to like him at all; he was just your best chance of escape. Once you escaped the rest of the packโฆ what would stop you from ditching him too?
Hello! May I request an angsty toji fic where reader finds out she's pregnant (post megumi) and she knows toji doesn't want anymore children so she just kinda leaves with little to no explanation? Maybe just a small note saying things aren't working out. It's up to you if it will be a hurt/comfort. Idk you don't have to do this request I don't want to overload you! I seriously love your writing. The way you right the character just warms my heart. I especially love ur hiding an Injury fic it was SO SO SO GOOD. ๐ฉถ๐ค๐ค
โpromiseโ
toji fushiguro x reader
Synopsis: see above
to sum it up: you think itโs better to run away than to be the one to get hurt
WC: 5,668
Warning(s): angst, suggestive themes, yelling, pregnancy, mentions of abortion
You stare down at the plastic tube clutched in your trembling hands in awe, eyes blown with shocked grief as you peer closer to get a better look, as though those two bright pink lines could have been a trick of your vision.
Unfortunately, however, your vision remains just as crystal clear as it always has been. As you stand in your cramped apartment bathroom, illuminated by a flickering fluorescent gaze shining down from above, horror befalls you.
Youโre pregnant.
You should have known sooner when you began feeling queasy every morning, taking trips to either your or Tojiโs toilet to hurl out the contents of whatever swam inside your stomach. You always tried to be silent if Toji was around, for he slept like a dog that could not be woken even if a meteor struck earth, and you had been remarkably exhausted. You arenโt even sure if there is a word to describe how sluggish your entire mind and body had been feeling, but you wanted to rule out the very obvious answer to your problems before exploring it.
You begin to panic, your heart pounding in your ears and throat and every inch of your body you could feel the pulse, eyes blurry over the positive test. Youโre conflicted. You donโt know how to feel. On the one hand, you would have been jumping for joy to learn that you are starting a new life with your boyfriend, to step into a new chapter of your lives and to provide his children with another sibling.
But hell, the celebration is far too naive and implausible to be had. The sage eyed man has told you time and time again that he does not wish to have anymore kids, that the ones he has are enough and he is not equipped financially or mentally to care for another brat. In honor of those wishes, youโre on the pill, and consequently, Toji has taken the opportunity to plow his load inside of you time after time after time.
And you really, truly should have known that with Tojiโs uniquely abled body, what was meant to serve as a barrier and a means of contraception did not work.
You feel like throwing up. What would Toji say? What would he do? What are you supposed to do? Should you tell him, fill him in on whatโs going on to risk rejection and abandonment, a nasty habit that Toji had to work to rid himself of when he met you? Would he even care? Would he listen?
You know Toji to be a very tough man, despite the softened interior he attempts to hide in othersโ company that is only displayed for you and for his kids. If he has always been adamant about one thing, itโs been to never have kids again, to focus on where he fucked up before and to pour his attention into the little family heโs grown, the one that he has now.
His voice echoes through your head like the gong of a church bell striking upon the earโs of a sinner.
โHell, I already got my hands full tryna get Megumi through his teenage years. What the hell is another child gonna do for us?โ
โThat shitโs fuckinโ expensive. Not to mention, Iโd have to baby proof the house again. Thatโs another expense.โ
โIf I was capable of givinโ you yโer own, I would, doll. But I ainโt cut out for it. You know that.โ
You donโt even know why he would stress the matter so often. You suppose heโs caught the way your eyes linger on a mother tossing their giggling baby up and down into the air, innocent pools of joy beaming down at her each time it reaches the air and lands in her secure hold. Or maybe heโs seen the way you care so deeply for Tojiโs kids as though they are your own, despite telling you when you first got involved with each other that he did not expect you to step into their lives in anyway - and yet, you have done that and more. You know how the kids must struggle each day with the trauma of losing their mother so early on, and you never wanted them to think that you were trying to step in as her replacement, but you love them so clearly, as much as you love the man who created them.
Which leads you to your next concern. How would the kids react?
Itโs one thing for you, as their fatherโs girlfriend, to wander into their lives and help navigate them their teenage hood alongside the dark haired man, but to introduce an entire other child only leaves a sour taste in your mouth.
They may be crushed. They me turn to hate you, to despise how you have contaminated the life they have worked so hard to rebuild after numerous tragedies. And would Toji agree with them? Would he turn his nose up to you, that scowl of his melting over his harsh features as he shuns you just as he shunned every other woman who came after his wife and before you. Would he leave you? Would he kick you out of the world that has become your own because you failed to live up to your promise, though it technically isnโt your fault that you are pregnant now but it feels as though it is?
You can not stand the thought, of the man you love turning his once loving gaze stone upon the sight of you, of him pushing you further away, permanently, in the same manner that he tried to when he realized that he was falling in love with you, of watching Megumi and Tsumiki turn their backs to you as though the past four years of your lives had never happened, banning you from their acceptance forever more.
Tears well in your gaze, interfering with your vision. This can not be happening, you think to yourself, everything has been going so well, and now this? This is going to ruin your relationship with Toji for good. Even if you were not in a committed relationship with him, you assume that the idea of any woman getting impregnated by Toji would have been thrown away. You would be thrown away, just like all the others who gave Toji their bodies but not their hearts.
Not the way you have.
Your heart clenches thinking of just how much you love Toji and the kids, of how you would be willing to lay down your own life for the sake of them as Toji swears that he would for you all in return. Even so, despite the commitment to you that a man who swore never to be committed to accustomed, this would be going too far.
โฆYouโre not even sure if he would love you anymore.
Now that youโre pregnant with his child, a child he never meant to have with you, you assume you will mean nothing to him any longer. In his eyes, you will simply become the slut that he took a chance on by a whim, carrying something he would never call his own. You believe the old Toji will resurface, the one who claimed not to care, the one who shoved women out of his bedroom before the sun rose in the sky, the one who often failed to remember to pick his kids up from school, the one who would no longer meet you at eye level but look down upon you, frown upon you for being so clumsy.
You know Toji is the one who did this, but this still feels like it is your doing. Like somehow, you trapped him and he now has no choice but to break free from the steel cage you have barred around him with your conception.
Your fingers clutch over the plastic, your eyes scrunching closed to release a fresh set of tears that cascade over your cheeks and onto the test. You can feel yourself mourning your relationship already, you can feel it slipping through your fingers, see it fading in the distance until it becomes nothing but a bittersweet memory that you can not determine as reality or a figment of your imagination any longer.
You tilt your head, bringing the test to your forehead as you think, grieve, cry. You mull over your options; you could hide this from Toji, get an abortion and never think of it again or you could tell Toji and lose him forever.
You open your bleary eyes, lashes decked with dewy tears, as another idea dawns upon you. You could leave, leave before Toji and the kids have a chance to leave you.
Itโs a cruel thought, you think, especially abandoning those children without any proper explanation for them, but what else are you meant to do? Youโd be doing them all a favor if anything by taking your leave without them having to be plagued by the knowledge of your unplanned pregnancy, of what they may view as a scheme to destroy their family in your new babyโs wake.
The thought kills you to even entertain. You had promised those kids that you werenโt going anywhere, that youโd stay with them for as long as they allowed youโฆ but this is different. This is not what any of you had in your cards, how you believed your futures to go. Toji wants simplicity at home while he works through chaos through his occupation. He wants security, warmth, safety for you, Megumi, Tsumiki, and no one else. He would never welcome another child. You believe heโd be caught dead before approving of your pregnancy.
And therefore, you know what you have to do.
After taking a few more tests to ensure that the readings are accurate, which they are, you pledge to walk away. You pledge to leave the only man youโve ever truly loved, the strongest family youโve known, and the slim possibility that despite Tojiโs wishes, he may accept you.
But you donโt want to take that chance and risk the humiliation and unplanned heartbreak. Youโd much rather take matters into your own hands, and plan the shattering of your soul yourself.
You donโt sleep all night, for youโre too busy drafting about twenty different letters to Toji. Crumpled loosleaf paper litters the floor beside your bed as you try to think of how to best write down everything you want to say. You go through pages and pages until you are finally satisfied with the result, and the next morning, you slip the envelope into his mail slot and prepare to pack your life away.
It is late Sunday morning when Toji rises from his slumber. The first thing he does is lean over the sheets and drape his arm toward his nightstand to read your daily good morning text - only he finds there isnโt one. With pinched brows, he takes his phone to unlock it and visit your contact. Nothing.
The time reads 12:35 pm. Normally, youโre up and at it or even banging down his door by then to wake him. Maybe youโre just sleeping in?
He goes to give your cell a call, but nothing. Not only that, but your phone is also on do not disturb mode. His gut immediately swells with the suspicion that something is wrong. The dark haired assassin supposes heโs going to pay you a visit this afternoon as soon as he checks on the kids to ensure that they are alright.
His bedroom door opens with a creak, and he calls out to the teens gruffly through a yawn. When they donโt respond, heโs truly growing concerned.
He rounds the corner to prepare to head for their rooms when he finds Tsumiki and Megumi at the dining table. His brows furrow, his pace slowing as he takes in their faces. Tsumikiโs lips are pressed together tightly and the muscles in her face are scrunched as though she is about to cry, while Megumi stares ahead with empty eyes and a hardened exterior.
Toji frowns with quirked brows, approaching his kids. โWhatโs wrong with you two?โ
His brunette daughter looks up at him with glassy eyes and wrinkled chin, lashes fluttering while Megumi does not bother to look at his father. Instead, he brings Tojiโs attention to a torn envelope and a thick packet of papers pressed beneath the sixteen year oldโs palm. Wordlessly, Megumi slides it toward him, brows slanting.
Toji, perplexed, looks between the papers and his childrenโs troubled faces. What is this letter? Overdue taxes? An eviction notice? That canโt be possible, because you had ensured that Toji and the kidsโ place was secure long ago.
He crunches the papers in his hands and picks them up to read. The first thing that catches his eye is your scribbling handwriting, and the following words that send his heart plummeting to his ass:
This isnโt working out.
Toji whips his head up, baffled, and when he meets Megumiโs gaze again, his eyes are ablaze with resentment.
โWhat the hell did you do?โ he growls.
The green eyed man is not even thinking before heโs dialing Shiuโs number, asking him to watch the kids for the next hour or so, and running out of the apartment after throwing rather unconvincing words of assurance over his shoulder to his kids, who are still with disbelief - Tsumiki with devastation and Megumi with rage, for surely his father pushed you away.
Toji does not bother finding a ride, electing to run to your place which is only a few blocks away. You two were just discussing moving in with one another, combining households, and this is what you spring onto him? Not even for him to stumble across first, but his kids who look up to you and love you like their own mother?
Oh, heโs fuming, a rush of emotions taking over his mind as it fuels his speed. The letter you wrote is still crunched in his fist, whipping through the air as he makes his way to you.
Dear Toji,
This is not working out.
But before you rampage and get angry with me, please let me explain. Let me explain how much I love you, how much those kids mean to me, and how every day I wake up I want to be greeted by all of your smiling faces. For the rest of time, forever. You are undoubtedly the only man for me, and I truly believe that. I know you may think Iโm bullshitting because of how the beginning of this letter contradicts what im saying now, but itโs true. I have never loved another person the way I love you, and while it scared me at first when you were so stubborn and full of anger that you misdirected onto me, I stayed and I waited and I helped you and Iโve loved you through every single moment, ever week, every month, and every year. You brought purpose back into my life, and I can picture you scoffing because youโd say the same, but I mean it. You, Tsumiki, and Megumi are the best things that have ever happened to me. I love you all so much.
But in this case, that love is not enough.
I hate to be doing this to you, to the kids, but I have no other choice. Things arenโt going the way they used to, and itโs not your fault but mine. Iโm the reason. And it is tearing me apart to know that and simultaneously know what I have to do in order to keep you and the kids happy. Stable. I wish I could explain to you more why I am doing this, but I canโt. Not just because I am dying to picture you reading this, but because I truly can not say. I do not want to ruin you guysโ image of me. While I think thatโs a selfish thing to say because who knows how me leaving is going to hurt you all, you would not understand even if you knew the reason behind this.
By the time you are done reading this, I will be gone. Iโm going away because as long as I am not with you all, I canโt stay here anymore. I am staying with my mother while I get my travel plans arranged, because I know how you worry when you do not know where I am or if im safe. I should be gone by Friday.
Please do not come see me. I have made my decision, and you will only be hurting us more by trying to stop me. I wonโt be stopped.
Kiss and hug and apologize to Megumi and Tsumiki for me. I hope you find someone who fills the role of their mother, someone who knows how Megumi likes to do his homework in the silence of his room with no music or anything, completely isolated so he can focus. Someone who knows how to fix Tsumikiโs eggs properly - to add extra butter to the sides when you fry them so the edges get crispier. Someone who wonโt try to feed Gumiโa demidogs because he hates when people assume they can coddle up to them upon first introduction. Someone who cares for the wholly the way I do and always will.
And you. I know how stubborn you are. I know how angry you probably are at me right now, and I will miss that about you, but please do not let that interfere with the possibility of falling in love again. Beneath the layers of grit, standoffishness, and indifference, you are a man with a big heart. For me. For your kids. For those you love and seek to protect.
You say you arenโt a good man, and while that may be true to you, you are an amazing partner and youโve already become an amazing parent. Iโve seen you grow, and I am so in love with you and so proud of you. I know youโll be okay without me. It maybe take some time, but youโll adjust to whatโs best. I promise.
With all the love that could possibly be harbored in this world, you are everything to me and that is why I have to go. I wish you every happiness this planet can offer you, and I know that without me, you can begin to find joy again.
Love,
Your doll
You had believed to time this perfectly, for you know that Toji usually does not wake until one, so soon as you are finishing up packing, you are trudging down the stairs to the leasing office to inform them that you will be moving.
You push open the door to the first floor, the breeze hitting you gently, and you round the corner only to be blocked by the last person you wanted to run into during this time.
Your eyes widen as you look up, the burly figure you have grown oh so familiar with over the years heaving as though enraged, ivy eyes crowding over slim pupils as Toji glares down at you, an image of indescribable fury.
Your heart drops and your words die in your throat. โT-Toji?โ you whisper, horrified of an outburst. You are rattled by fear, having been so unprepared to walk into this. You did not put it past him to chase you down. But you figured that youโd be at your parents by the time he woke. Then, you could have at least told them to tell him off at the door.
But no. Instead, here he is, six feet and then some of bulking mass as he takes quick, deep breaths that expand the entirety of his chest.
You shift. โWhat are you doing here-โ
โWhat the fuck is this?โ
Toji swiftly, yet aggressively, lifts the papers in his hands, now damaged by his travels and his grip, shaking it firmly with the question. You gulp, lowering your eyes.
โToji, I told you not to comeโฆโ
โDonโt you fucking dare,โ he swears firmly, and you jump, looking to see if anyone is around to hear you, as the two of you are standing outside your complex.
โWe shouldnโt be- letโs just go inside,โ you go to grab his arm, but he tears it away. He stares at you as though you have burned him, singed the heart in his chest from the inside out, and he is so unforgiving. So unforgiving before he hears directly from your mouth what this is about.
โIโm not doinโ shit until you tell me what the fuck this is, (Y/n),โ he demands, his hand moving the papers about passionately with his speech, and you feel your heart hammering again. This is not how things were supposed to go. You are not supposed to be seeing him right now. โCause I refuse- I fuckinโ refuse to believe that youโre breaking up with me.โ
Your eyes gloss over as you look down at your feet, unsure of what to do or how to handle this confrontation. You canโt do this. You canโt, itโs too much. Itโs too hard.
โโฆI am,โ you mumble.
Toji steps forward, leaning down to get a peek of your face, his expression so angry that it worries you. โWhat?โ
โI saidโฆ I am.โ
โUh uh, you better say that shit with your chest if you can write a whole damn letter about it,โ he growls, fucking further as you continue to turn away. โLook at me,โ he barks, and you cringe.
โToji, donโt yell at me!โ you shout back.
โWhat else doโya want me to do, huh?โ he throws his hands up. โHow else do you expect me to react to this bullshit?! Youโre leavinโ me? After everythinโ we been through, after everythinโ you and the kidsโve been through, youโre leavin? Are you fuckinโ serious?โ
He takes a swift glance at the papers, the very sight sending him into a spiral, before heโs heatedly looking back down at you.
โI donโt buy this shit for one second. No. Youโre not leavinโ. Not in this world, or the next.โ
โI am, Toji, the quicker you accept that, the easier itโll be for everyone!โ
โEasy?โ he winces as though the prospect pains him. โYou call this shit easy? You call up and tryinโ to abandon me easy? You call the kids waking up to your letter and reading it at the table before I saw it easy?โ
Your face falls. โโฆwhat?โ
โYeah. You fuckinโ heard me,โ he sneers. โMegumi and Tsumiki read this shit first. First thing in the morning, they see a letter about how the woman they love is leavinโ โem, just like their mom did, and for what?โ
You close your eyes, his words stinging you as they cut through. โDonโt say that.โ
โWhy not? Itโs true, ainโt it? Yโer leavinโ us, (Y/n), and you didnโt even have the decency to say why!โ
Guilt crowds you, like a blanket of darkness consuming you from overhead, and as Toji stands before you completely torn apart by your letter, you see the fear in his eyes, the sadness, the unspoken plea for you not to go.
You try your best to keep your composure as you turn away again. โI told you, I canโt tell you.โ
โFuck that,โ he lifts the letter and tosses it to the ground with a thud. You gasp, watching it slam to the concrete pavement.
โToji!โ you exclaim.
โYou think you can just leave without me cominโ to hunt you down and see your face so I can figure out what the hell is goinโ on? You must not know me at all.โ
โWhy do you always have to be so aggressive about everything?!โ
โOf all fuckinโ things, (Y/n), I think I got a right to be aggressive about this. You were gonna leave without sayinโ goodbye!โ he tosses his arm out to the side with the exclamation, brows twisting and teeth bearing. โIs that what our relationship means tโya? You think you can just toss us aside?โ
โThatโs not what Iโm doing,โ you beg, a lump forming in your throat as the two of you stand face to face, arguing without a car about who will see you.
โThen tell me,โ he shouts. โCause youโre not givinโ me shit to go off of!โ
โI told you already, I canโt,โ your lips quiver.
โThen our relationship is nothing to you.โ
โNo, Toji.โ
โClearly it ainโt, cause Iโd think itโd be worth an explanation if youโre runninโ away!โ you frown and shake your head, turning to walk back into the complex when Toji cuts you off, moving in your way. โYou donโt think I know you? You donโt think I see it all over your face that somethinโs got you scared, and yโre takinโ off because of it? You think I donโt know what that looks like, (Y/n)? I did that shit. I did it all the damn time before I met you, and hell, I tried to run then but you wouldnโt let me, so what the hell makes you think Iโm gonna let you now?โ
โThis is different,โ you say shortly, afraid to reveal the tremble of your voice to the man before you. You keep your gaze down as you try to go around him again, but to no avail. He steps in your path. โStop!โ
โI ainโt stoppinโ,โ he says gravely, keeping his eyes to yours though you try to avoid contact with them. โNot until you spit it out. Iโll be damned if I got another broken home cause yโre fuckinโ scared.โ
โI said stop!โ you try to find some bass in your voice, but against your will, it falters when you yell. Toji eyes you carefully, reaching his hand out to grip your shoulder and steady you into place.
You scoff, attempting to pull away, but itโs no use. The dark haired man is everywhere, keeping you from walking away.
โYou talk to me like the grown ass woman you are,โ he tells you sternly, stepping in. โYou use that voice I know you have, and donโt you ever let me catch you writinโ a letter to me about how you wanna break up instead of cominโ to talk to me. Yโunderstand?โ
You exhale shakily, lips pressing together and brows curling. โI canโt.โ
โYโre still not tellinโ me why you think that.โ
โBecause I canโt, Toji. I canโt tell you. Itโll- itโll fuck up everything!โ you break, and Toji feels the pit in his stomach shift as he looks over your aggrieved expression, depicting the same exact things he feels.
โ(Y/n),โ he calls your name firmly, the sound of it on his tongue only inspiring the urge to cry more. You continue to shake your head though Toji isnโt exactly speaking, and his green eyes wander you with frustrated concern. โYโscared of what Iโll do if you tell me?โ
You freeze, slowly peeling your eyes to look at his, his face tense with grief. You stare at him for a moment, mouth gaping like a fish as all of your insecurities that talked you toward this ledge run through your mind once more.
โDonโt look surprised,โ he says. โI know you like the back of my hand, and I know that you knew Iโd be over here to stop ya.โ
Your frown deepens, and this time as you look at him, you see every second of your future that you were quick to stomp dow. You see the unbridled, unfiltered love he holds for you as well as the blood curdling fear of letting you go.
โYou have to understand,โ you whimper. โI know how youโll react, I- I canโt do this to you. You have to let me go.โ
โWhat the hell could be so horrifyinโ in that head of yours to make you think that I wonโt stick with ya through hell and high water?โ he grits out, searching your swollen hues of (e/c) hesitation. โYouโd do the same for me.โ
โI know, but-โ
โThereโs nothinโ else to say. I ainโt leavinโ until you spill, and when you do, yโre cominโ with me.โ
You look at him, pained. Itโs a trap, you think. If Toji only knew, heโd be running for the hills instead of trying to track you down.
โOut with it, now.โ
You canโt. You canโt tell him. Heโll leave you, heโll reject you, heโll turn you away, heโll never let you see the kids again.
โ(Y/n)!โ
โIโm pregnant!โ
The earth seems to freeze and time seems to slow. You scrunch your eyes, anticipating the worst to come as Toji takes in your words, his tensed expression melting slowly.
You donโt open your eyes to see his reaction. You keep your head ducked and your fists closed as the white noise of nature flutters into relevance. Youโre trembling, terrified, and Toji can not move but instead proceeds to stare at you, stunned.
His words about not wanting any more kids run through your mind again as you await his response, and the suspense kills you as you do. You can feel his grip on your shoulder slacken before tightening again, and you are terrified.
Heโs going to leave you.
You are quick to step away when the sentiment arises once more, Tojiโs hand falling from you arm. โIโm sorry,โ you whisper, still unable to look at him. โIโm sorry, I know that you donโt want any more kids. I know, an I thought we were being careful, but- I took five tests. Theyโre all positive.โ
โYouโre pregnant?โ he echoes, and you still. You knew it. You knew this would happen.
โI told you, Toji,โ you exhale. โI told you that I couldnโt tell you, and now everythingโs a mess.โ
He twitches. โHold on-โ
โDonโt tell me all of a sudden you want kids,โ you snap. โI know how strongly you feel about it.โ
โSo instead of talkinโ to me, you were gonna leave? Knocked up? That doesnโt make any sense.โ
โWhat other choice do I have?!โ you cry. โYou donโt want more kids, and if I kept it, it would only be a nuisance to you. And Megumi and Tsumiki?โ
He scrunches his face. โWhat about โem?โ
โHow do you think theyโd feel if the woman youโre dating after their mother died surprised them with a new baby? Theyโd be crushed!โ you say shakily as salty tears well in your eyes again. โI canโt overstep your boundaries. I just canโt. Itโs easier for me to go.โ
โAnd do what, (Y/n)? Raise a kid on your own without any help?โ
โI canโt bare you leaving me!โ you suddenly confess, tear striking past your cheek.
Toji examines you and frowns. โWhat are yโtalkinโ about? Youโre tryinโ to leave me!โ
โSo I can prevent the inevitable from happening,โ you huff. โIโm okay with it. Iโve made peace with everything. Thatโs why you need to just let me go-โ
โAfter everythinโ, you think Iโd throw you away because youโre pregnant with my kid?โ Toji says incredulously. You falter, for you had been so sure of his reaction before. โYou think that low of me?โ
โNo, but I want you to have what you want.โ
โWhat I want is you, you fuckinโ idiot,โ he hisses. โAll I ever wanted was you, and I canโt fuckinโ believe youโre tryinโ to take that away from me.โ
You furrow your brows, confused. โโฆYouโre not mad?โ
โGirl, Iโm livid,โ he scowls. โNot about the damn kid, but because you assumed what I would say before cominโ to me.โ
โToji, you have to understand that I was trying to look out for you.โ
โThereโs not lookinโ out for me or those kids or makinโ them happy if youโre gone, (Y/n),โ he bites. โWho thโfuck put that idea in your head?โ
You stammer, tears proceeding to flow down your face as you reel in the reality of the situation. โIโฆ I just thought-โ
โI donโt wanna hear it.โ
Before you can respond, his hand is gripping your wrist and heโs tugging you toward him into his chest. You shake when you fall into him, listening to the pace of his heart rapidly beating against your ear as he breaths quickly against you. Large palms smooth over your head and down to your waist as he holds you tightly, and you notice how desperate his grip is. Heโs holding you like heโs afraid youโll disappear, as though youโll fly away if his hold is not tight enough.
He tucks his head into your neck, fingers grasping into your shirt, and suddenly the animosity of the moment prior is gone. Youโre still trembling, leading Toji to hold you tighter to him.
โCanโt believe you tried to leave,โ he murmurs into your hair. โChrist, (Y/n) youโre tryinโ to gimme a heart attack. The fuck is goinโ on with you.โ
โIโm sorry,โ you mumble into his chest, looking off sadly. โI thought youโd be upset about it. I didnโt want you to know.โ
โI should know about any and every single thing thatโs goinโ on with you, yโhear me? This ainโt no exception.โ
A weight flutters from your shoulders as you sink into Tojiโs head, silent tears streaming for the life you almost sacrificed. โWhat are we gonna do?โ
โI dunno,โ he mumbles. โBut weโll figure it out. As a team. Alright?โ
You nod meekly. โOkay.โ
He groans, pressing himself impossibly further to you. โThat letterโฆ fuck, donโt do that shit. Donโt fuckinโ scare me like that. Without you, I ainโt shit- pregnant or not. And those kids would adore another sibling if you were bringing it into this world. Donโt say that shit about them again either. They need ya. We need ya.โ
โIโm sorry,โ you whine again, Tojiโs hand stroking over your back soothingly.
โItโs okay,โ he grumbles. โWeโll figure it out.โ
synopsis: so she tells him not to cry over the injustice of a life cut too short for at the end of all this, sheโll only be a dream.
pairing: ex-husband!toji fushiguro x terminally ill wife!reader | song inspo: soon youโll get better, cancer
warnings: heavy angst, terminal illness (primary bone cancer, stroke and MS), mentions of divorce/past infidelity, allegories to cheating, major character death. please read at your own risk. | a/n: this was so heavy for me to write, i started writing at 2 in the morning, and itโs 6:34 now.
word count. 3k~
โWhy canโt you do anything right?โ
Toji should have noticed, he laments as he takes a sip of his cognac. He should have sensed that something was wrong sooner, maybe that way, he wouldnโt be begging to borrow some more time to make things right. Your fingers were trembling that day โ the first time you ever ruined his morning coffee โ your hands shaking uncontrollably as you washed the mug with a sorrowful look on your face, your eyes glossy with the tears you were desperately trying to hold back.
He shouldnโt have been so harsh, he realizes that now. Breakfast had been burnt to a crisp and ruined, sure, but nothing could compare to how he constantly ruins the one beautiful thing that has ever happened to him, who haphazardly spilled her smoothie on him when they first bumped into each other in Shinjuku just after he finally cashed in enough money with Shiu to get his laundry done.
Toji, whose senses have now been honed to pick up on the slightest of your sluggish movements and your pained and suppressed hisses, hears the bedsheets rustling and he instantly gets up before you could even force yourself out of bed. โHey, hey, easy now.โ He catches you before you could fall backwards onto the mattress, your skin appears cold and clammy, your thinning muscles stiff as a board โ you must be having one of your episodes again. โWhat do you need?โ he asks, his voice heartbreakingly gentle for the first time in months.
โWater.โ
Your husband nods, swinging his feet over the edge of the bed, hurriedly making his way to the dining table which was now kept in your bedroom so you arenโt forced to move around too much. The sound of water splashing into the glass fills the air and you feel another stabbing pain coarse through your joints.
Toji gingerly brings the glass of water to your lips and you sighed, an exasperated yet amused smile on your face. โI can do it, babe. Donโt worry.โ Why did that sound like you were trying to convince not just Toji but yourself? You bring your bony hands to grip the glass and it takes everything out of your husband not to break into a fit of sobs when he sees your hand violently shaking with effort just to keep the glass steady.
His larger hands close around your defeated one. โI-IโฆI can do it, I did it yesterday. Y-you saw me.โ
โShhh, I know, itโs okay.โ
You bite your lip to distract yourself from the anguish of realizing the truth behind the doctorโs words. Everything you feared was finally becoming your and Tojiโs bleak reality.
โItโll be a painful decline.โ
Funny how youโre the one fighting to extend your life but Toji feels like heโs already gone ahead and passed on. Just a few minutes earlier, you were overjoyed to see him again. You didnโt think heโd see your text thinking that his new girlfriend must have asked him to block your number, and you most certainly didnโt expect him to arrive when you asked for him via a brief phone call to drive you to the hospital for your monthly checkup since he took the car with him when you separated. He made up a bullshit excuse when Yuko asked where he was going in such a hurry and he makes it to your old shared apartment to see you sitting on the driveway looking thinner and sicklier than ever โ your eyes were sunken, and your cheeks were hollow.
Yet in spite of that, you gave him the brightest of smiles, waving shyly to him as he steps out of the driverโs seat. โHappy morning!โ you smiled, greeting him with your signature good morning tagline which he used to happily wake up to everyday. There wasnโt a scintilla of resentfulness in your demeanor, and you genuinely looked so happy to see him for the first time since he moved out.
โHow long?โ Toji asked the doctor, his heart twisted into knots when he hears you happily humming in the MRI room as you put your clothes back on, oblivious to the solemn mood in the other room. You already knew what was going on, but youโll just continue pretending that everythingโs alright and that this is nothing more but a case of fatigue so as not to inconvenience Toji.
โA year, maybe even less.โ
โAndโฆyouโre saying itโs best if she simplyโฆdoesnโt get the treatment?โ
The doctor sighs heavily. Sheโs seen many cases like this before, but none as utterly hopeless as yours. Even if you did start the treatment, the lesions in your spinal cord have already entered the most severe stage, you were already exhibiting signs of autonomic nervous system distress โ the tremors, the uncontrollable stuttering of your words, the growing loss of balance โ and as if that wasnโt enough, the doctor also discovers that you were suffering from primary osteosarcoma.
There was no way to cure you now that itโs too late.
โI suggest we just focus on keeping her comfortable. The only thing left for us to do now is to bring her home. Iโm so sorry.โ
โYouโre so fucking embarrassing. I canโt bring you anywhere.โ
By some miracle, you and Toji went out one night around four months before the divorce proceedings. He went home that day, exhausted beyond all belief from another mission, but he was in a good mood. Yuko was out working late tonight, so, he decides to take you out to your and his favorite izakaya for some yakitori.
Some time during the night, after downing three full bottles of sake together, you excuse yourself to use the restroom. โIโll be right back,โ you told Toji, tipsily kissing him on the cheek as you hop off the bar stool in the direction of the womenโs room.
You couldnโt tell if you were staggering from the copious amounts of alcohol you ingested, but your legs were beginning to feel heavy, and for some ominous reason, you were slowly losing all sensation in your left leg. You try to hold onto one of the izakayaโs shลji panel decor pieces to regain your balance, but it was a futile effort in the end. Your knees suddenly buckle, and a sickening crack tears through your tibia as you fall to the ground.
โAre you alright?!โ
Toji picks up on the commotion instantly and he sees the izakaya patrons crowding around the hallway leading to the restroom. He quickly makes his way over and a look of disgust appears on his features when he sees you crumpled on the ground and the mortifying sight of you having relieved yourself on the floor, tears of embarrassment staining your cheeks at the thought of your body suddenly malfunctioning like this.
Muttering out an ignorant apology for his seemingly drunk wife, he roughly picks you up, growing increasingly infuriated with you when one izakaya employee offers him a damp cloth to dry out your urine with. It was funny how quickly other people came to your aid โ people whose names you donโt even know โ while your own husband seems very reluctant to even touch you right now. He doesnโt speak to you on the way home even as you apologize while heโs loading you into the car, grimacing when the leather seat gets wet. โToji, I-Iโm sorry, I donโt know what happenedโโ
โโSave it.โ
What he should have said was: โAre you okay?โ, โItโs alright.โ or better yet, โI still love you.โ.
At present, Toji decides on a whim to take you to Yokohamaโs famed bayside today. Itโs only a two hour drive from your place in Tokyo and Toji figures you must miss going on road trips by now with you cooped up at home all the time. โToji, are you sure this is a good idea?โ you murmured nervously as the car pulls to a stop by the bayside promenade. What happens if you canโt control yourself again? There doesnโt look to be a lot of public restrooms nearby.
Toji plants a reassuring kiss to your nose. โBabe, you remember what the doctor said, spending some time outdoors can do wonders for your health. Besides, didnโt you always love the coast?โ He brings your hand to his scarred lips, rubbing his thumb against the soft skin before stepping out of the car to retrieve your wheelchair from the trunk.
โI know but what if I have another accident?โ you said worriedly, rolling down the car windows so he could hear you. โWhat if I embarrass you again?โ
โThereโs nothing embarrassing about you.โ
Youโve lost all control of your lower extremities three months ago, rendering you unable to walk and feel when you need to relieve yourself. Toji struggles with the wheelchair for a bit and a flash of sadness fills your heart when you see him take a few deep breaths to calm himself down. He wasnโt angry, he was devastated. He looks wistfully at the boardwalk, a distant gaze trained on the sea. He remembers when you used to walk down this very lane, his hand protectively around your waist as you happily take selfies. He could still hear your fond giggles the last time the two of you went here.
โWhy donโt you ever smile when I take pictures of you?โ
Toji shoos away a pigeon from stealing a bite of his ice cream sandwich. He feigns an unamused look when you try to take another picture of him on your phone.
โCome on, Iโve been trying to get a shot of you all day! You still have to take pictures of me so I can post it on my Instagram feed!โ
Your ever moody husband pinches off a small piece of bread and feeds it to the nosy pigeon. โYou and your precious feed,โ he bemoans jokingly.
โPlease? Just one picture!โ you playfully nudged him. Truthfully, you just wanted to see him smile for once, a genuine one and not one of those lopsided smirks he usually gives you when heโs teasing you. โPlease?โ you pout knowing he can never say no to that adorable face you make when you really want him to do something or worse, buy something for you.
Sighing, he turns to look at your phoneโs camera lens and you blush when a smile slowly illuminates his usually stoic face. Your thumb hovers over the stop recording function, not realizing youโre taking a video, but you canโt seem to press it. โWhatโs taking so long?โ he holds the smile like heโs some cartoon character and you snap out of it.
โOh shoot, itโs a video!โ you laughed, and you begin to run down the boardwalk, eagerly getting away from Toji who demands that you delete it immediately. Of course, youโre no match for his borderline inhuman speed attributed to his athletic physique and he catches you by the waist, playfully swinging you over his shoulder like youโre a sack of potatoes.
Now, your giggles have gone silent.
Toji realizes now he should have indulged you more over the course of your relationship and subsequent marriage. Had he known that you wonโt even make it to your third wedding anniversary, he would have allowed you to take as many pictures and videos of him as youโd like, heโd swallow his pride and heโd give you the brightest of smiles so you could happily post him on your social media accounts with a heartwarming caption about him being your โsmiley hubbyโ.
More than that though, he should have taken more photos of you, mostly stolen candid shots, of course. You canโt catch him being all soft on you now. He still has a reputation to live up to after all. But more than that, had he known that your illness was intent on stealing every scrap of you from him, he should have made more effort in preserving all these memories. He should have kept everything from those toll tickets on your late night drives together when the two of you just needed a quick escape from the world, to receipts from your trip to Tokyo Disney Sea on your first wedding anniversary, and even simple convenience store receipts.
Toji should have kept everything down to the smallest of memories knowing one day, thatโs all heโll have to remember you by.
He opens the passenger seatโs door and he effortlessly gathers you into his arms, being extra careful with your fragile form as he sits you down on the wheelchair. He opens the backseat and he pulls out two different colored blankets, one sea-foam green and the other, rose pink. โTake your pick,โ he smiles at you and you chuckled softly, pointing to the rose pink one. He happily covers your legs with it to keep you warm, stroking your cheek when you whisper a bashful โthank youโ.
Suddenly, the wind picks up and your hair-clip thatโs holding your locks in a low bun comes loose, and your head turns in the direction of where it flew off to. Toji is quick to take out his phone and he snaps a quick burst shot of you, your hair blowing in the wind, under the coastal spring weather. You turn to look at him and your face falls when you see him burying his phone in his pocket. Since you fell ill, youโve become insecure of your appearance, banning your husband from taking pictures and videos of you altogether. โToji, I thought I said no pictures.โ
โI donโt know what youโre talking about.โ
The next day, you serendipitously find your photo on your Instagram handle with the caption: โY/N โ Yokohama, Spring, 2024โ and when you swipe left, another picture, well to be more accurate, a screenshot of the video clip you accidentally took of him captioned: โToji โ Yokohama, Summer, 2022โ.
โYou donโt have to stick around for me. Please just go, Iโm sure Yuko must be looking for you right now.โ
Yuko, his new fiancรฉ, had been blowing up his phone the entire day with texts demanding to know where he is and if heโs going to make it to their date that night. Itโs 7 PM now, and Toji still hasnโt shown up to confirm their restaurant reservations. The damn witch will surely cuss him out when they see each other again, but for some reason, even if he tries, he simply cannot bring himself to give a flying fuck. Your immunologist and oncologist stepped out for a bit to allow you two a brief moment of privacy which had now stretched to an expanse of five hours since your results came in.
The air in the room is thick and heavy, not a single sound can be heard. Inside however, underneath this tough exterior he was projecting, Toji is throwing a fit, screaming at the sky like those broken men in those shitty Netflix romance tragedies he used to callously make fun of.
โWhy didnโt you call me sooner? You knew, didnโt you?โ
Tojiโs bites his cheek trying to keep a lid on his emotions. He knows the answer. He just wants to hear you say it out loud. You hated him. You wanted nothing to do with him after he cheated on you with some girl he met at a bar in uptown Shibuya. Thatโs why you didnโt tell him, he didnโt deserve to know. โShit,โ he whispers harshly, crumpling the medical abstract in his hands. โWhy didnโt you tell me you were sick? Was it because you hated me? Is that it? You didnโt think Iโd worry about you?โ
You screwed your eyes shut, shaking your head. You didnโt hate him, not even when you have every reason to. He abandoned you, left you to waste away and to die and yet, even now, you canโt bring yourself to resent him for the simple reason that he is the literal love of your life, the reason behind your smiles, your happy mornings and passionate midnight hours. โAt first, I thought I was fine, maybe just fatigued or something.โ
โDonโt lie. You knew something was going on and that something in your body was seriously fucked up.โ
โAnd we werenโt married anymore so, I didnโt think it was right to tell youโฆI wanted to though, but I didnโt want to intrude on you and Yuko,โ you said meekly. Even in your greatest hour of need, you were still thinking of him, putting him first even when he doesnโt deserve it. โI-IโฆI donโt hate you enough to worry you, to make you feel that you could have done something to prevent this. Because Iโm telling you right now, regardless if you were faithful or not, I was bound to get sick anyway. You couldnโt have done anything to change that.โ
โBut I could have been there. I should have noticed. I shouldnโt have downplayed everything.โ He says this as if he wants to shake this noble, self-sacrificing bullshit attitude out of your system. โIโm your husband. I should have been there.โ
You flash him a heartbroken smile at his little slip-up, so, even now, he was still referring to himself as your husband, not your ex-husband. โTo see me waste away? Babe, I donโt want you to see that.โ
You begin to feel tears streaming down your face, the emotions you were experiencing now flowing like a free river after an entire dam is destroyed. Toji watches you unravel before his eyes and his bottom lip begins to tremble. What has he done? Dear god, what has he done to his poor, poor wife?
โI want you to remember me healthy, I want you to remember me as myself not thisโฆsickly pitiful woman youโre unlucky to call your ex-wifeโฆbesides, after all this, Iโll only be a dream.โ A mere passing second in his life. โAnd believe me, my life wasnโt so bad.โ
He loses it at that.
โJust stop this, Y/N! Stop acting like youโre not scared shitless of dying, like youโre not gonna have regrets once all this is over! Stop pretending that things are gonna be alright one day because it wonโt! Not when Iโm now being forced to accept that you wonโt get better, not when Iโve wasted so much time putting you through hell and back instead of taking care of you like a proper husband should, and certainly not when Iโm suddenly supposed to learn to say goodbye and to live without you! Because fuck that, Y/N!โ
You are left speechless at that.
Toji was never one to lose his cool, even during your worst arguments, he may slide a few snarky remarks here and there but Toji Fushiguroโฆnever yells, and he doesnโt sob either.
You hesitantly stand up and walk over to him, crouching down in front of him as he covers his tear-stained eyes with his right hand while the other is crumpled around your medical abstract. Taking his left hand, you gently remove the medical abstract from his grip, and for the first time in so many months, you feel one anotherโs warm skin against each other. You press your forehead to his hand as you wept with him.
โIโm sorry.โ
โI donโt want you to be a dream. I want you to be real.โ
โCanโt you be bothered to clean up in here?!โ
You wake up from your nap, youโve been battling muscle and joint pain the entire day, the slightest of movement causing you to double over in agony and because of that, you werenโt able to clean the apartment today. You slowly get up from the couch, being extra cautious not to make any sudden movements. โWell?โ Toji presses, his lips curled into a scowl.
โIโm sorry, I was feeling a little tired,โ you sighed heavily, picking up a broom to sweep the living room floor despite the excruciating pain you were in. Toji rolls his eyes, handing you a Manila envelope. โWhatโs this?โ you asked softly, peering inside.
โDivorce papers,โ he shrugs nonchalantly. Everything stops, even the very rise and fall of your chest halts into an uneasy stasis. โI already signed them. I just need your signature then, Iโll move out by tomorrow.โ
You must be dreaming. Thatโs the only logical explanation to all this. Youโre asleep, in a deep REM sleep, utterly oblivious to the world. This wasnโt happening. But you could feel the rough surface of the brown envelope, and you could still feel the agonizing stabs of white hot pain throughout your body. Glancing at Toji, you see him texting someone with an eager look on his face that screams: โIโm free.โ.
Instantly, it dawns on you.
โWill she make you happy?โ you asked, putting down the broom to look around for a pen but Toji pulls one he stole from the law firm office out of his pocket.
โShe will,โ he answers simply.
And you are indeed grateful that he is completely upfront about finding another while the two of you are married. It would have hurt much more, you silently remind yourself, if he had just upped and left without another word leaving you to wonder what went wrong between the two of you. This was Tojiโs final act of mercy in your marriage, and heโs not opposed to honesty and truthfulness either. Not once did he try to change his phoneโs lock-screen passcode, nor did he try to conceal the identity of the woman who was texting him every night while you slept fitfully next to him. It was almost as if he wanted you to find out, like he wanted you to know so you could back off yourself.
But if thereโs one thing Toji loves about you, itโs your unending faithfulness to your promises, to your marriage vows, and your willingness to endure anything he threw at you. You never checked his phone, you never brought up his affair, you never got angry with him. You just kept silent, simply content with giving and givingโฆand giving while he milked you dry by taking, and taking and taking, tearing you to pieces bit by bit without hearing a single complaint fall from your lips.
You were a devoted wife, through and through.
And it bored the hell out of him, on top of your recent mishaps, he was done. Done with everything, and done with you.
โOkay.โ
Come morning, he takes everything he owns with him and promptly proposes to the girl heโs been seeing for the past year. Two weeks later, your divorce is received by the Tokyo Family Court and is summarily approved and finalized. From that moment on, you and Toji went on your separate ways never to look back, you were each otherโs yesterdays, and the love that existed between the two of you was nullified in favor of acquaintanceshipโฆor so you thought.
โY/N, Iโm home!โ Toji calls into the house as he comes back from your neighborhoodโs pharmacy. You look up from the book you were reading, smiling ever so slightly at your husband who seemed to have a wonderful sparkle in his eyes. โHey, kid,โ he kisses the top of your head when he reaches your wheelchair.
โYou seem happy,โ you remarked positively.
โWell, for one, they replenished their stocks today and I managed to get you your steroids and painkillers so youโll be able to sleep easy tonight,โ Toji smiles, taking out the items from the pharmacyโs paper bag. โAnd I got you this neat memory foam cushion for your wheelchair.โ He fluffs it up as a form of demonstration before placing it behind your back.
When he sees you smile, a sense of relief washes over Toji. You reach towards him, and he pulls you into an embrace. โThank you,โ you said, pure sincerity dripping from your voice. โFor everything you do.โ
โAnything for you.โ He suddenly moves back and reaches into the tote bag you lended him. โOh, and wait, before I forget, I have another surprise.โ
You laughed airily. โAnother surprise? Now, youโre just spoiling me!โ
He pulls out a piece of paper from the tote bag and he places it in your hands as your eyes quickly scan over the document. Your breath hitches in your throat when you realize what it is. Did Toji reallyโ? You couldnโt believe it. โA marriage pre-registration,โ you said in awe. You read it again just in case to make sure that this wasnโt a figment of your sick bodyโs imagination, that this was real, that Toji genuinely wants to make everything right again. Your fingers skim over your typewritten names. โIt has our namesโฆweโre reallyโโ You canโt even finish your sentence without bursting into happy tears. โAre weโ?โ
Toji nods, gazing into your eyes, and as emerald and (E/C) clash for what seems to be an eternity lost in one another, he plants a kiss to your temple, coming up to embrace you from behind, resting his chin on your shoulder.
โWe are. The Tokyo Family Court, as far as I know, will approve our remarriage once we file this. So, you have to get stronger, okay?โ Heโs begging you at this point, despite your rapidly deteriorating condition. โStrong enough to see me fix everything. Strong enough to be there on our second wedding, strong enough to say our vows again.โ
Your hand comes up to stroke his cheek from behind, and he nuzzles into your neck at your tender touch.
โI will. I promise.โ
But you never really get to say your vows. Not comprehensibly anyway.
โBabe, can you say that again?โ
Toji crouches by your bedside as you look at him apologetically. You were causing him trouble and pain again which is the last thing that you want to give him especially whenโs fought and worked so hard to care for you, to keep prolonging this borrowed time youโre on. โTo-ji. Toji.โ You gaze at him apprehensibly, not really believing you can do it without crumbling.
โCome on, babe, you can do it. Say my name, pleaseโฆToji. Iโm Toji.โ
โToooji-โ you slurred sadly. At this point, your Multiple Sclerosis has reached its end stage and has takenโฆeverything from you: your ability to walk, your ability to control your muscle spasms and other bodily functionsโฆand now, coupled with an unexpected stroke, your ability to speak. And you and Toji know that time is almost up, with you having come to accept it, while your husband still held onto hope. Your fingers gently graze over his face as best as your spasms and tremors allow you, starting from his forehead to his eyes, his nose, his cheek and finally, his lips, as if youโre memorizing it one last time. โLo-ove you-โ
Toji sniffles, and your fingers instinctively catch his warm tears. โI love you,โ he whispers brokenly. โI do. I love you.โ
You feel yourself tearing up as youโre forced to watch your beloved cry. And the worst part? You canโt do a thing about it. โD-oonโt c-cryโโm okaay. Promi-miiseโฆeโeveryything โill be okaaay.โ
โY-yeah,โ he chuckles, trying to crack a joke even as hope dwindles. โYouโve been nothing but a fucking champ this entire time, you know? Iโm so proud of you. Soโฆsoโฆproud that youโre still here.โ He strokes your hair as you tread between the realms of the conscious and the unconscious. โDo you wanna go out today? The weatherโs shit though. Youโll probably catch your death out there.โ At the mention of the word โdeathโ, Toji stops, falling into an uncomfortable silence.
You smile weakly at him. โTiireddโโ
โYouโre no fun,โ Toji gently flicks your nose and you scrunch it up in displeasure. โSorry,โ he chuckles, holding back an entire waterfall of tears. He knows itโs today. It has to be. You woke up today without your usual โhappy morningโ greeting, and you refused to drink anything, much less eat anything. โYou tired? Any pain?โ
You shake your head. Youโre as comfortable as you can be for the first time in months. Hospice nurses say humans are built to live the same way they are built to die, no person in this world has ever had the uncanny privilege of being able to look up โHow to die?โ on a quick Google search and actually find a Wikihow on the morbid subject matter, nor is there anyone else who can teach another how itโs done. Itโs just something humans know how to do without a manual, deeply ingrained in the very fabric of human existence is the fear of death, the fear of what comes after, the fear of a nothingness that could follow after living such a vibrant life. Your life was short, barely spanning thirty years, but you lived well: you fell in love, you got hurt, but you fell together again. Now it all has to come to an end, Toji will just have to take care of the rest.
And you werenโt scared.
Or at least you canโt look scared, if you were to be more accurate, you have to look strong and ready to accept the cards youโve been dealt with for Tojiโs sake. When he feels your hand start to slacken, Toji intakes a sharp, shaky breath of sheer panic. โNot yet, Y/N. Please. Not yet.โ
He climbs into bed with you, bringing you closer to this desperate man you call yours. There was no getting better anymore, there was no miracle he could hang onto, no deity he could beg for death to spare you, no pill bottle he could pray to. He knew that from the start. But what he witnessed these past months, youโve been the braver one between the two of you, you knew how to make the most of the rhythm this cruel world gave you and you graciously took him along to dance to the last song of the evening with you.
โThereโs still hope. Just keep your eyes open. Just keep them open.โ He presses his lips to your forehead, his delusion getting the better of him. โWeโll just keep tryingโฆyou canโt leave. You have to stay. You have to.โ
โThaank yoouโโ you softly told your Toji, your voice shrinking in decibels as you become a little drowsy, sinking into the warmth of the requiem of a life well spent.
Toji listens to you, his lips pursed, intent on making this final act of love โ a love that is strong enough to say goodbye โ a memorable one. And should the afterlife exist, he wishes to send you off with a smile, with the reassurance that heโll be alright even if that was far from happening.
โToji.โ
โI want you to be real. And I donโt care if weโll live on borrowed time. Another extra second with youโฆis enough to last me my entire lifetime.โ
โ SNEAKY LINK โ dad's best friend!TOJI FUSHIGURO
summary: your dad didn't even need to tell you that his best friend was off limits, but you just couldn't help yourself. and on another visit home from university, he's the first person you get your hands on.
wc: 4.2k. (major slay from me)
cw: afab!reader, semi public sex, you fuck in a car, outside, he fingers you at the table, and eats you out in your childhood room <33 slight breeding kink, + your dad is clueless poor man so MDNI
an: was s'posed to write this yesterday but it didn't show up in the tags, so hopefully you guys can see this now and give it some love. never really done long smut before so give it a chance people!! fanks @kazushawty for beta'ing some, this is for you
there was always something about your dadโs best friend, toji fushiguro, that you just couldnโt ignore. your dad had loads of friends throughout the years, and you never batted an eyelid. so when your dad brought toji to dinner for the first time, you couldnโt just disregard the way he looked, more importantly how he looked at youโmaking you end up sucking his dick in the bathroom of your family home, before dessert was even served.
you were away at university, making your little โrelationshipโ with toji a fleeting one, but best believe whenever you touched your home city, toji always found a way to touch you. โso you manage to find yโself a boyfriend, up at that fancy uni of yours?โ toji asks, a sly grin playing on his lips, as he starts the car, pulling out of the train station parking lot.
โno, none of them are to my taste,โ you respond shortly, trying to keep your composure, and maintain your focus on anything but him. you knew why he was asking, just so he could feel his pride swell when you say no. since he was always quick to remind you whenever you fucked that after being with him you woulndโt want a dumb little college boyโand he was right.
โaww that's too bad,โ he mocks, his hand easing its way onto your thigh as if itโs nothing, โa pretty thing like you, should be basking in boys.โ you roll your eyes at his teasing, but you canโt ignore the slight quickening of your heart as his hand gives your thigh a light squeeze.
you both pretend as if you arenโt fucking eachother anytime your dad was around, it was easier to keep up the facade that way. neither of you wanted to hurt your dad, toji actually enjoyed his friendship and would never want to hurt his โoh so precious daughter.โโ but when he pictures how your tits bounce and how your ass shakes whenever he drives his dick into you, he was okay with losing a friendship if that meant he could continue to fuck you.
the rest of the ride was a comfortable silence, there was no more small talk, just the faded hum of the radio and your thoughts racing as tojiโs hand remains on you. you were finally parked in the driveway of your home, โthanks for the ride home fushiguro,โ you mumble, ready to leave his car.ย
โfushiguro? were you not calling me toji last time you saw me?โ he questions puzzled, his hand laying on your arm โ stopping you from exiting the car, as his mouth comes up to your ear, โ whilst i was stuffing you full with my dick?โ
โcan we not do this here?โ you grit out, trying not to react to the feeling of his touch, you look around the driveway and see your dads car parked right in front of tojiโs. โmy dadโs home.โ
โso?โ he shrugs, tugging against your clothes, โcโmon you know you wanna give me a little something before i leave.โ you roll your eyes, reminding yourself that you shouldnโt be fucking your dadโs oldest friend โ especially not when heโs only ten metres away. but the look that toji gives you, the lustful glint in his eyes, and the way his thick fingers toy with the hem of your jeans, you just couldnโt say no.
โmake it quick,โ you whisper, looking around your surroundings before pouncing on toji. the windows of his car werenโt tinted, but your neighbourhood is a quiet one, so as long he fucked you swiftly, you shouldnโt get caught.
โi donโt know why youโve got this pouty look on your face,โ he smirks, watching as you eagerly get yourself out of jeans, not fully, but just enough so that you could slide right onto his dick. โyou want this just as bad as i do, donโt you?โ
you didnโt bother responding, letting the way your pussy clenches around his throbbing member, be the answer to his question. there's a shared moan between you, with toji throwing his head back onto the headrest as he watches you ride him. his hands grip onto your ass, aiding you in bouncing up and down on his dick.
โcโmere,โ he murmurs, his hand moving up off of your ass to lightly grip your chin as he directs your mouth to his. he kisses you sensually, the slow pace matching the rhythm of your ass grinding against him. your arms snake their way around his neck, your hands stroking the hair that falls just above his nape.ย
โf-fuck,โ you moan against his mouth, your boobs press against his chest as he thrust into you deeper. he takes your bottom lip between his teeth, suppressing your increasing screams, as his hips dig into your ass further.ย
โyโbetter quiet down princess,โ he mocks, pressing a quick peck to your lips, his smirk growing wider as he watches you chase his mouth, whimpering to have more of him. โyou donโt want your daddy to hear us and come outside dโya?โ
โโdonโt care,โ you whine, rutting your hips down against him, wanting him to stuff you full, to fuck you hard, not caring about who hears or sees you.
โoh you donโt care do you?โ he continues to taunt, his fingers roaming across your chest โ toying with the buttons of your shirt. and as you nod to his question, your pussy clenching down around his dick achingly, he grins, โget out of the car.โ
โwhat?โ you pause, trying to register if youโve heard him correctly.
โyou heard me,โ he shrugs, his hands going to your hips to take you off your dick, โget out of the car, and lean right up against the hood for me.โ
โyouโre joking right?โ you scoff, staring at him in shock, but his gaze is locked with yours without faltering, oh he was serious alright. โbut what about my daโโ
โwhat about him? you didnโt care about him seeing us a second again when you were slutting yourself out on my dick did you,โ he continues to taunt, his thumb rubbing against your aching clit, toying with the folds of your soaking pussy โ persuading you. โnow i'm not gonna tell you again, get rid of the jeans fully and lean against the hood of my car.โย
he didnโt have to say anything else after that, the way he was playing with your pussy reminded you of what need. so you quickly get rid of your jeans, and get out of his car, a giggle escaping your lips as tojiโs hand collides with your ass.ย
you lean against the hood of his car, your arms stretching against it in excitement as toji comes behind you, palming your ass before stroking the slit of your pussy with his dick. he doesnโt even give you time to breathe before shoving himself back inside of you. his hand coming to the back of your neck to push you down, as he charges his dick back inside of you.ย
โyou like that?โ he grins, as he drives into you deeper, the squelching of your dripping pussy around his dick, music to his ears. you nod, eagerly, too dick drunk to formulate a sentence โcontent in just rocking your ass back against his hips ready for him to cum inside of you.
โt-toji โm so close,โ you whine, begging for that final push so you could reach your peak, โplease j-just let me cum, i-i need to cum.โ
โiโll let you cuโโ
โtoji buddy! is that you?โ you both pause, frozen in place as you hear your dads voice from the inside. you scramble apart from one another, toji pushing you off his dick and zipping up his pants, trying to regain his composure as he catches his breath. you dive back into your seats, aggressively shimmying into your jeans, panicked. โfuck toji for making me take these all the way off,โ you think to yourself, as you awkwardly pull your jeans up. you check the rear view mirror, to try and not look freshly fucked as your father nears the car.
โdad!โ you exclaim, giving your father a hug and sending a quit look to toji that reads โshut the fuck up.โ your dad returns your hug with a tight squeeze.
โhey sweetheart, was toji here giving you a ride from the station?โ he asks, a joyful smile on his face
โyeah i was giving her a ride alright,โ toji mutters, his innuendo going straight over your fathers head as he looks back and forth between you, clueless. โshe was showing me all the new things sheโs learnt at uni, and boy has your daughter learnt a lot.โ he flashes you a wink, that your dad misses, and you quickly glare at him in response.
โoh sheโs a smart one isnโt she?โ you dad boasts, practically parading you off and toji nods in response thinking to himself, โif only you could see how dumb she gets filled with my cum.โย
you swiftly exit the space between your father and his friend, hoping that toji just leaves, although you didnโt get to finish, nearly being caught by your dad, panicked you. you give toji a brisk nod as a goodbye, as you grab your bags out of the car but you pause as you hear your dad ask him, โso, are you staying for dinner?โ it was going to be a long night.
you spent the rest of the evening avoiding both your dad and toji, you couldnโt trust yourself to be around both of them without letting something slip. toji had just as much to lose, if your dad did find out about your activities, but that didnโt stop him from giving sly comments and looks just to see your scared, flushed face whenever you thought he was going to say something about it.ย
when dinner starts you knew you were going to fold, fast. toji was sitting next to you, but his gaze was fixed on you with a teasing glint in his eyes. his mouth drops to your ear as he whispers, โdoesnโt this remind you of when we first met? you teasing me all night before dropping on your knees for me in the bathroom upstairs.โ
โwhat are you two gossiping about over there?โ your dad asks as he enters the room with your food, and you immediately tense up hearing his voice, shifting away from toji to not give yourself away.
โoh i was just reminding her about when we first met at dinner all those years ago,โ toji responded quickly, his composure kept cool as if he wasnโt just talking about you sucking his dick minutes ago. โa lot has changed since then.โ
โyeah, my baby has really grown up and matured since then, haven't you?โ your dad coos at you and you give toji a subtle elbow to his stomach under the table. but toji just canโt let up, enjoying your jumpy vibe a bit too much.
he nods in agreement with your dad, โyeah sheโs really become a woman, right under our eyes.โ he taunts, and only you knew that he was referring to how he felt that your body was built just for him. toji loved every inch of you, your face, tits and ass was a complete package that he just couldnโt get enough of.ย
unbeknownst to your dad, tojiโs hand slips underneath the table and right into your pants. your eyes cut towards his, and he the subtle raise of his eyebrow tells you heโs not gonna stop โand you werenโt planning on trying to stop him.ย
you open your legs wider, to grant him further access, smiling along at your dad as he cluelessly babbles on to the both of you. toji was both attentive to the conversation and to your pussy. to anyone else it wouldnโt look like his fingers were curling up inside of you, your cunt coating his fingers as he slowly drives them into you.
as dinner continues, your hands remain clenched on your cutlery as you try and distract yourself from the growing feeling you were getting as toji rubs your pussy. he was casual about it too, laughing and joking with your dad as if his fingers werenโt getting drenched.
you were trying so hard to not ride his fingers in your seat, to not let your father see you getting slutted out by his best friend right in front of him. the thickness of his fingers were stretching your pussy wider, and his pace was achingly slow, to sensual for the burning desire youโve been craving for him all day. but there is nothing you can do, and toji knew tha. the slight smirk on his face and spark in his eye was telling to the fact that he was aware of how badly you need him, and was amused by the needy little look on your face that you poorly try to mask.
โso howโs that boyfriend of yours?โ your dad asks you, his question snapping you out of your dazed state. you choke slightly on your drink since you didnโt actually have a boyfriend but you couldnโt exactly tell him about the special guy you are seeing.
โh-heโsโฆgreat,โ you respond, your voice faltering as you could feel tojiโs eyes burning a hole in your head. his fingers pinch against your clit, punishingly and your eyes bounce between your father and him.
โwe should have him over for dinner soon,โ your dad suggests excitedly, โso we can all meet him.โ
โyeah sure dad,โ you lie, hoping that is enough to appease your father. but it definitely didnโt appease toji, he swiftly removes his fingers out of your pants, and he sends your a glare when your father wasnโt looking before going back to eating his foodโwith both hands.
dinner was a silent affair after that exchange, there were no more subtle sly comments from toji and your dad had worn out all the possible stories he could share about you. so you finish your meal in silence, your pussy still throbbing hard.
โthat was a great meal as always,โ toji compliments your dad, getting up out of his seat, โdo you mind if i use the bathroom real quick before i head home?โ
โyeah my homeโs your home, do as you please,โ your dad grins at him, โiโm gonna go and do these dishes, it was good seeing you,โ your dad presses a kiss to your head and gives toji a handshake before heading to the kitchen.
with your dad now out of sight you could now see tojiโs face and he was tense, to say the least. he was standing in the threshold of the door and all it took was the raising of his eyebrows and a shake of his head for you to know that he wanted your ass upstairs with him quick.
he led you to your childhood bedroom and he was already toying with the posters of random anime that you had plastered all over your walls, โcute.โ
โtoji i thought we agreed to not do this in the house anymore?โ is the first thing you ask. after you first met and made a mess of your household bathroom, you both agreed that it would be easier if you just didnโt fuck in your house anymore to save the chance of your dad catching on. but it seems after today, toji couldnโt care less.
โa boyfriend huh,โ he spits out with a bitter chuckle, turning to look at you, โwhat happened to โnone of those boys are to my taste.โโย
โthey arenโt,โ you persist, folding your arms childishly as you try and get your point across. he doesnโt even respond, just raising his eyebrow at you in disbelief, thinking about your conversation with your father. โdo you really think i could tell my dad about the real guy iโve been fucking all this time? โ
he shrugs in response, his anger settling a bit in knowing now that you didn't actually have a boyfriend. โi didnโt peg you as a jealous type, in case you forgot, youโre the family friend not my boyfriend. so if i was to actually let one of these college guys date me, thatโll be okay.โ
โoh it would be okay would it?โ he mocks, stepping closer to you, โso iโm just this family friend, not the guy you slut yourself out for whenever you see me?โ you couldnโt deny that, so you remain quiet, your heart pulsing as toji nears you.ย
he grabs your hand and shoves it right down his pants so you could feel his throbbing dick, โyโknow iโve been hard for you all day, after your clueless dad had to ruin our fun earlier iโve bursting to cum,โ his dick pulses in your hold, emphasising his point, โand now it turns out that all i am to you is just a family friend, damn.โ
โi didnโt mean it in that way,โ you say, slightly regretting your choice of words, โi just think itโs a bit silly of you to be getting wound up, at your big age, over some hypothetical boyfriend when all we do is fuck.โ
โat my big age? the fuck, im not even that olโโ he stops himself because he knows he could say whole lot that could have you crying quick. โiโm gonna let you have your little outburst here, but i did not drag you upstairs for this.โ
โand what did you drag me up here for then?โ you quiz, his dick still feeling the warmth of your hand. his arm snakes around your waist as he presses you close, your tits rubbing right against his chest.ย
โwell yโknow iโve been dying to fuck you in your bedroom,โ he murmurs, he leads you over to your bed, chuckling as he pushes you down next to your stuffed animals, and childish shit that youโve kept. he pulls down your jeans as he kneels down at the edge of your bed, a wide grin etched across his face, โiโve been wanting to keep you out of these all fucking day,โ he says as he flings your jeans across the room.ย
โdonโt forget your dadโs downstairs and we canโt let him ruin what weโve got going on can we?โ he pulls your down the bed so your pussyโs closer to your face, he snaps off your underwear and peppers a kiss onto your clit. you hiss at the contact of his mouth on you, and his eyes look up at you, โso you can be quiet for me, right?โ
you nod eagerly, clenching your eyes as his mouth suctions onto your clit, biting and nibbling at it. you hold your lip between your teeth to keep yourself quiet, already gripping onto his hair to steady yourself. heโs barely done anything yet and heโs already got you losing your mind.
he drags his tongue down your wet slit, lapping up the sweetness from your pussy. you sigh harder, the grip on his hair only getting tighter the more his mouth works on your cunt. toji laughs as he taunts, โโyouโre just a family friend toji,โ yeah seems like it.โย
โs-shut up,โ you pant out, clenching your thighs around his head as tongue inches deeper and deeper into your pussy, his nose pushed right into your arousal, breathing in every bit of you. โy-you are just a family friend.โ
โwhatever,โ he smirks, watching as your mouth part as he plunges his fingers into you. he keeps his mouth on your clit, as two of his fingers piston in and out of you. you canโt help but thrust your hips up in his direction, aching to feel him deeper.ย
โtoji w-what are youโโ you start to ask as he pulls his fingers out of you, just before you cum.ย
he grins in response, popping one of his fingers in his mouth before saying, โyouโre just too sweet yโknow? come on taste yourself.โ and before you can even respond properly, you were already sucking on his finger, smiling as he coos, โsee how tasty you are?โย
he rids himself of his jogging bottoms, his dick springing out of them, hard and throbbing. โmy balls have been aching to bust inside of you all day,โ he complains, as he mounts you, your legs instinctively wrapping around his back, your arms snaking behind his neck. โbut youโd like that wouldnโt you?โ
โyeah please toji,โ you whine, desperate for him to get his dick inside of your dripping pussy, โcum in me please, i just need you.โ
โwant me to cum in you yeah?โ he smirks, as you shake your head, your hand moving down to his dick but he slaps it away, continuing to tease you, โgonna let me put a baby in you, right?โ
โanything you want, just please.โ you say, clawing at his back. but thatโs all he needs to hear, as he shoves his dick into you with all his force, your eyes widening at the feeling. but as he quickly sets into a rhythm, you canโt help but moan out as his dick drives into you hitting the right spot, every single time.
he puts his mouth on yours to silence you, pecking your lips with kisses as he says, โyou know you gotta be quiet for me princess, canโt have your dad hearing how im fucking my kids into you.โ
โs-sorry i just c-canโt take it,โ you apologise, your eyes rolling back as his lips move down from yours onto your neck. bruising and biting at it, with his teeth.
โoh but you can take itโ he praises, โyour pussy takes me so well, always such a good girl for me.โ he bites back down on your neck harder, as you clench around him, the throbbing of his dick partnered with the gushing tightness of your pussy had him getting sloppier and sloppier with every stroke.ย
tojiโs hand slaps down on your clit, making you slightly jump up against his dick as it continues to charge into you. he tugs at your clit before swirling it and pressing down on it with his thumb. loving the way you gasp at the contact, scratching at him as your pleasure grows.
โf-fuck toji, please, i need to feel your cum,โ you beg, and he presses his forehead against yours, as your hold around his back and neck become stronger. his dick ploughing into you with his unforgiving pace was becoming too much for you to handle, you wanted to feel his load deep inside of you. โlemme have it.โ
โi-iโll give it to you princess dont worry,โ he reassures, stammering slightly as he could feel himself going to bust. this was his favourite sight of you, all fucked out under him, your eyes practically springing with tears as you beg him to finish inside you. it was only an added bonus that you were doing this on your fluffy pink sheets, literally right under your dadโs nose. โyouโre such a naughty girl for this. what would your dad say if he could see you now?โ he continues to tease.
โi donโt care what heโd say. i am a n-naughty girl. i wanna be your naughty girl.โ
โyeah you are, youโre absolutely filthy,โ he jeers, giving you his last thrusts before saying, โfucking taking in the cum of your dads best friend, begging to bred. not very ladylike if i do say so myself.โ
โt-toji please,โ you call out, fed up with his teasing. and he laughs before taking your mouth into his biting on your lip hard as he releases into you, plastering your pussy walls with all his cum. you do the same, your cum mixing with his as you release onto his dick. he slumps his body over yours, pressing kisses to your faces, satisfied as he thrusts his dick into you further to try and ensure his cum doesnโt slip out.
โah, if only i could stay here for the night, iโd keep you plugged up with my cum and really get you pregnant,โ he jokes, finally pulling out of you, amazed by how cum of his and yours ran down your thighs and pooled onto your bedsheets.ย
โwant you to stay,โ you mewl, your arm stretching, reaching out for him.
โno can do princess,โ he sighs, he actually wants to stay with you too, thereโs nothing better then ending the night freshly fucked with his dick cushioned by your pussy all night as he sleeps. he presses a final kiss to your head, and grabs some wipes to get rid off the cum stuck to your legs, before leaving the room as he promises, โnext time weโll do it at my place, yeah?โ
AN: So what do you think of dads best friend!toji ๐ง๐ฝโโ๏ธ this was meant to be apart of a broader part of the sneaky link smut but then a little drabble turned into a full fic. BUT THIS ACTUALLY MADE ME NERVOUS TO POST SINCE IM STILL NOT FEELING MY SMUT SKILLS YET. But it shall come with practice.so yeah lemme know ur thoughts
โ answer me. did you think of her when you're in bed with me? when you're kissing me and holding meโ was she the one on your mind? โ
summary: it's hard knowing you aren't really the person in toji's heart but loving him was something you still did regardless. as for toji, he thinks he's ready to give you his all.
desc: 2.8k words, f!reader (referred to as โmamaโ), canon compliant i think, takes place after mamaguro's death and before tojiโs, age gap (early 20s reader, early 30s toji), baby gumi ahhhhh, sfw, angst to fluff to angst again lol, intended lowercase, think you're tsumikiโs mom but without tsumiki bc the relations would be too complicated and also the second wife erasure in the canon storyline?? yeah it's reserved specifically for this fic, not proof read i fear but pls read it's really interesting i can swear by it lmaoqhdhns
dating a widowed man with a son wasn't easy especially when the said man is still in love with his former wife, or rather, his wife who had died.
love is often beautiful but sometimes it's unfair. it can also be cruel. what other reason would make you still stay despite knowing you'll never measure upto the person who had been here before you?
and you've heard stories about her. she was sweet, so beautifulโ not just in her appearance but her entire being was beautiful. there always was an ache in your heart upon just the mention of her name.
so how much more would it have ached for toji?
โmamaโ the spiky haired boy, barely two years old calls you and you realise the silence in the room. โnot mama, iโm nana okay?โ sick.
nana. not mama but close enough. it doesn't matter anyway, n and m are just letters and next to each other so how much difference would that make? you're the one that's here after all, are you not?
if there's a lump in your throat and your eyes are burning with unshed tears, you force yourself to ignore.
โokay nanaโ megumi nuzzles his face into your chest, slowly drifting away to sleep. the boy always liked cuddling with you and it melts your heart immensely.
your hands strand through his dark hair. people always said he's the carbon copy of his dad but you'd like to differ. megumi has his mother's eyes and his hair resembled hers more than it did his dad's.
the thought sends another ache in your chest but you push it awayโ as you always have.
you recall the last time toji had heard megumi call you โmamaโ. you had never seen toji that livid. he was never a gentle man to begin with but that night, there was nothing else you've been more scared of.
was he like that to his wife? maybe not.
does that matter though? it's not like toji treats you badly. he's decent and loves you an enough amount. you weren't crazy enough to stay when you're not wanted so that must mean you were something to him right?
you also recall the whispers of pity and condemnation thrown at you for just being with toji. him being a brute is one thing but the difference in age is what people seem to have a problem with. you're so much younger than him and have your whole life ahead of you so why are you entrapping yourself this way?
you disagree though. love doesn't know any age and you definitely aren't naive to be head over heels over a guy just because he's relatively older. no, this was real and genuine.
a faint knock disrupts your train of thoughts. โhe sleepinโ?โ toji nods towards the small boy in your arms and you nod back in return.
taking care not to wake the sleeping kid, you slowly pry his hands away from you and pull over a blanket to cover his small body.
when you make your way towards toji, he wastes no time in pulling you closer โmissed youโ he mumbles, placing a kiss onto your forehead and suddenly all thoughts plaguing your mind disappears. that's all you could ask for, even if it was just for a moment.
โi missed you moreโ you whisper back, he only huffs out an amused chuckle.
โgot bad news thoughโ a frown finds itself on his lips, decorated by a single scar next to it.
โdid you lose all your money again?โ toji was a gambling addict, another thing you forced yourself to tolerate just for him.
โsorry, doll. thought iโd win this timeโ he rubs small circles on your back comfortingly and it makes you a bit uneasy to know that he has his way with you so easily.
โit's alright. iโll just find another part time jobโ
โso good to meโ toji pulls you into his chest and you let out a sighโ of exhaustion? relief? you couldn't really tell but that's not important, toji had you in his arms.
โiโll try and think of something too. don't worry your pretty little head too muchโ he lifts you up with ease. while you're in his arms, you feel the safest.
toji really felt bad this time. he was confident he would win but that stupid horse had to trip and lose its lead, ending up last of all places. he knows luck never favoured him but that's didn't stop him from trying again and again and again.
he also knows how you didn't say anything more than necessary about it but he isn't that much of an idiot either. he sees how your expression falters and your shoulders slump a little more when he comes home with another news of his gambling loss.
this is also why he tries, or rather, tried to quit โ one too many times, unbeknownst to you. however, old habits die hard and most of the time (everytime) toji gives into his urge and loses yet again. the cycle keeps happening.
maybe this isn't just about gambling.
with the way you're asleep so soundly next to him after putting his son to sleep and taking care of him too, he is overcomed with yet another feeling to be better for you and megumi alike.
toji isn't a gentle man; everyone knows that, you do too โ even more than anybody else but he can't help the familiar pool of warm feelings surging through him the longer he stares at your peaceful state.
he remembers the last time he felt it, with another person. it felt like a lifetime ago.
he also remembers how painful it was when he lost it โ the person, the feeling altogether. his hands that were making their way to caress your face stops mid air.
toji knows you deserve so much better. you've been nothing but patient to him, so amazing, so perfect to him. still, he just can't do it yet, just not yet.
he will eventually, he hopes you stay until then.
toji wakes up to an empty bed and his heart sinks a little but the creases and wrinkles on the sheets serve as a reminder that you were really here.
he makes his way towards the kitchen, only finding megumi sitting on a chair next to the dining table.
โhey kid, where's your mama?โ
toji freezes. it came out so naturally he didn't realise he said it himself and almost thinks he didn't but megumi's wide eyes prove that he actually did.
โmโฆmama?โ megumi says hesitantly and toji nods this time. โyes, your mamaโ.
โpotty potty!โ megumi points to the bathroom and giggles, toji follows suit. the man crouches to his son's eye level and pats his head.
โyou love your mama, kid?โ toji sees megumi's eyes sparkle as the boy nods enthusiastically โvery very much!!โ
โyeah? i love your mama too.โ
toji smiles to himself, he can't wait to tell that to you.
the next time toji got his pay, he finds himself hesitating. instead of heading towards the race tracks, his feet takes him to a jewellery store.
instead of picking out a slot and testing his luck, he picks out a ring. it's not fancy by any means but he thinks it would be the most beautiful band of metal to exist if it slides into your ring finger.
the tiny ring carries all the heavy feelings he has for you.
โโ
it was one particular evening when you saw an old man lingering by the front gate. its particular because the warm sunset and the soft cool breeze contrasted the ground breaking truth you find out.
โcan i help you?โ you ask the old man who looks at you up and down, not making an attempt to hide his distaste of your sight.
โis this where toji zenin lives?โ he stares down at you with his scrutinising gaze; it makes you feel small.
โzenin?โ you ask, confused. is he referring to toji? but his last name is fushiguro is it not?
โyes toji zenin. i heard he has a son as well. you're not the mother are you?โ
is it that obvious? you wonder how the old man figured it out. regardless, you're not about to give him his answers so you stood your ground.
โiโm sorry i don't know what you're talking about.โ you turn around, about to head inside when his words make you stop short.
โare you fushiguro?โ
that's tojiโs last name isn't it? not zenin or whatever he called it. so why is he asking you that? is he implying that you're married to toji?
โno. you have the wrong person.โ
โwhy? did he say not to get involved with anyone from his clan?โ the old man draws closer, chucking to himself. you're just there unmoving, trying to comprehend the situation and the words coming from his mouth.
โor did he not tell you that either? did he tell you anything at all?โ he stands tall in front of you, tearing away bits of yourself with every word he says.
โwhen he returns, tell him the clan wants to propose him an offer. you can do that much at least won't you?โ
โฆ
and when toji comes home that night with the ring cluched tightly in his fist and inside the pocket of his white pants, the world stills.
he finds you in a state he has never seen you before. you look completely and utterly defeated.
โhey, what's wrong?โ his hands come to caress your face so effortlessly, the ring and prior nervousness long forgotten.
โtalk to me what's going on?โ he looks around and the house seems emptier than usual. your laundry that were usually hanging with his were gone.
your small trinkets you placed around the house to โmake it more livelyโ were nowhere to be found.
and there's a bag in the corner of the room which toji prays and hopes he isn't what he thinks it is.
your hands push away his own that were cupping your face. you're not even looking at him.
โsay something damn it!โ
you flinch and toji takes a step back. he recalls the last time you trembled in fear โ when he got mad megumi called you his mom. he punishes himself for it.
โim sorry. please talk to me.โ he isn't touching you now but he wants to. he wants to reach out and pull you close, as he always had done. but now there's an unbearable silence and the small distance between you both felt like lightyears away.
โwho's zeninโ your voice was meek, barely a whisper but toji's eyes widen. how did you find out about that?
no fuck that, he was supposed to be the one telling you. in his own time.
โi can explainโ was all that came out of him. he's nervous, he doesn't know where to start. there's a lot of information to unpack and he's not sure how to do it without hurting you too much.
when he doesn't elaborate, you ask another โwho's fushiguro then?โ your voice falters a bit and toji curses himself for it.
but he's done running away and keeping things from you. โmyโฆ my late wifeโ he says wryly.
your eyes close and a shaky breath leaves your body, as if he just confirmed your worst suspicions. damn life is so funny isn't it? everything you thought you knew apparently wasn't what it seemed to be after all.
opening them again, your vision blurs and you realise tears were escaping your eyes. fuck you didn't want to cry now of all times but they won't stop.
and the way toji was looking at you, it makes you want to throw up.
โi must've been so stupid to youโ you let out a humourless chuckle. โdid you pretend im her?โ
your gaze was sharp and so were your words. maybe all your bottled up feelings were resurfacing. it doesn't make you feel better about it but that doesn't stop you though.
โanswer me. did you think of her when you're in bed with me? when you're kissing me and when you're holding me, was she the one on your mind??โ your voice was loud now. you should be afraid of waking up megumi who you cradled to sleep just a few hours ago but no, your thoughts are too clouded right now.
toji sighs. he has no excuse.
โi used toโ he actually looks ashamed as if he wasn't the one who did it purely out of his will.
your scoff makes him wince โbut not anymore.โ
his words fall on deaf ears โyou knowโฆ i knew you did. but i stayed regardless because i thought there would be a chance that maybe one day, you could open up your heart to me. im not even asking for all of it, just a littleโฆ i thought you'd let me in.โ
you're blabbering and honestly, so distraught.
โbut not a moment was there when it was me isn't it? it was always her in the first place.โ
now toji should have said something, anything but he stays there planted in place. and maybe that was your breaking point.
you turn around, grabbing your bag and brushing past him towards the door. instead of holding onto you and stopping you, toji clutches the small box containing the ring โ your ring in his pocket, almost crushing it in the process, as he hears the door slam.
you think it's funny how toji did not reach out after what happened. it's poetic even. very fitting of him, till the very end, he did not give two shits about you.
so then, why were you back here?
it's been four long years since the trajectory of your life changed. you still don't know if it was for the better or for the worse.
saying it has been hard would be an understatement. it took you a long time just to get back onto your own feet but you did it regardless. however, you left a part of you here long ago and now, you're here to take it back.
that and you missed megumi dearly. perhaps it was an excuse too because you won't deny a part of you still missed toji, despite everything that happened.
standing a few feet away from the place you used to call home, you hesitate.
maybe this was a bad idea. oh this was definitely a bad idea. you'll see them, and then what? what comes after that?
closure? don't make yourself laugh. youโll just be reminded of how you couldn't be that person for tojiโ how you'll always come second. and what if they moved?? there's no reason they'd still be here right?
forget this, you don't need to do this. why must you still be the one who put effort? to reach out? four long years passed and still no news means they clearly moved on... right?
you were convinced enough and was about to go back when you saw little megumi carrying a backpack on his back, seemingly coming home from school.
your feet wouldn't move and your eyes wouldn't blink. he grew up so well.
the world pauses as your gaze follows the kid you used to consider your own, now as good as a stranger.
โdo you know that kid?โ a voice at your back makes you whip your head around. life really is full of surprises and this time, the surprise was in the form of a tall man, no a tall kid with white hair, looking at you curiously through his round tinted glasses.
โ... no i don'tโ well you weren't exactly lying. you don't know the megumi you see now. perhaps if he asked whether you raised him since he was a baby till he was two, then your answer would've been different.
โoh okayโ the boy shrugs. โpoor guy thoughโ
โwhy? whats up with him?โ you turn to look at megumi again who was minding his business walking home and your heart aches a little.
โI'm here to recruit him. his dad died you see so he'sโโ
โwait what was that??โ
โhis dad. he's deadโ the amused boy in front of you chuckles and you stare at him, horrified.
โwhat happened to him?โ your voice was shaky and doesn't sound like your own. he leans down to meet your eye level and smirks โwhy? i thought you don't know that kid. why does that matter to you?โ
your stomach churns as you stare at him, not even knowing what to sayโ the smug expression on his face only widens.
โso you do know him.โ
'know' would be a weak word to use when it comes to toji. you knew of his habits, the simple things he does and also of the more complex ones โ like the exact place his scar decorated his lips and how it felt to kiss it.
then again, you don't really know anything about him and maybe you never will.
Warnings: infidelity, cheating, death, assisted suicide, euthanasia, mentions of sexual intercourse
Part I: Home | Part II: A Letter from Home | Part III: Way Back Home
Reincarnation: Dodging a Bullet
I left her for 21 days, she left me foreverโฆ
โYou love her, right?โ
He remembers her asking one cold morning, in the middle of their dining room. He was washing his hands as she held her mug of coffee, warming her hands in the process. His movements came to a halt. She didnโt sound mad. She didnโt sound upset. Her voice was soft, as soft as she is. As soft as her body. As soft as her hair. As soft as her heart.