you were not born with venom in your veins

Hilda || 29 || USA she/they aroace wlw, white, i write things AO3

[edelgarfield]

I had a really unsatisfying interaction in a game on Monday that's really not sitting right.

my character's whole Thing is that she's a monster (think vampire, that's not what she is but close enough) raised by her human dad & when she was an adult she left so he could have a normal life. her dad eventually got remarried with step-kids. and my character + her dad have been having an ongoing argument spanning multiple years about whether she should come home, her dad insists it'll be fine, she refuses, her dad keeps insisting which pushes her further away, etc etc.

well we're approaching the very end of the game, like last 2-3 sessions and I'm finally confronting my character's dad and step-mom. in the previous session my dad got kidnapped & we had to save him. my characters step-mom 1) blames my character for putting her dad in danger & says she doesn't want me around 2) says that I can't just walk in and out of my dad's life whenever I want (???) 3) out of nowhere (imo) gives my character an ultimatum that I have to decide (right now!) whether I want to be part of the family or leave my dad forever.

and I hadn't ever really thought about this possibility so it caught me totally off-guard and I just. shut down & didn't know what to do. & my character's dad, who was right there, didn't say anything and seemingly deferred to his wife? and when I finally collected myself and tried talking, any time I asked like "are you just going to blame me any time something goes wrong?" they kept saying shit like "we'll figure it out" instead of like. anything actually helpful.

we ended after that with no real resolution, but the more I think about it the more upset I get because like. that is an INSANE and manipulative thing to say to your step-kid. like the thing they're so upset about is my character moving away & not visiting & her dad constantly pushing the issue. & her dad not stepping in and standing up for his kid really sours my view of their relationship. the most annoying part is that the events of the game proved my character RIGHT, as soon as she got close to her dad he got kidnapped, so her dad was wrong all these years. so it's like. he's blaming my character for getting his feelings hurt bc she wouldn't visit, when doing so would have put him in danger.

on the one hand, thats in-line with what a bad parent would do, but I wrote my character's dad to be a GOOD parent.

[edelgarfield]

i really liked a lot of the additions the wicked movie made, particularly for Glinda. The movie did a really good job of capitalizing on their ability to show situations in more detail and as a whole, the movie paints a much clearer picture of both Glinda & Elphaba's motivations and also uses symbolism really really well; flying, broken glass, & mirrors are motifs that keep showing up again & again. I wasn't a huge fan of the new song "Girl in the Bubble" but the cinematography during that sequence was fantastic.

speaking of "Girl in the Bubble," most of the details that I liked were how the movie(s) do A LOT to show how sheltered Glinda is and it makes her decision to stay at the end of Act 1 & Elphaba/Fiyero's decision to cut her out make a LOT more narrative sense imo. And the thing that really struck me is that I don't think the movie places 100% of the responsibility of Glinda for being ignorant? while she definitely had a bad case of rose-colored glasses/blinders on, the movie places A LOT of emphasis on how EVERYONE is purposefully shielding Glinda. Both Madame Morrible/The Wizard AND Elphaba/Fiyero are hiding things from her.

A couple scenes that struck me are at the very beginning, when Morrible changes Elphaba's message from "The Wizard Lies" to "Oz Dies" she purposefully does it behind Glinda's back. I don't remember if Glinda saw the original message, but to her it would seem like Elphaba wrote it. Then when Elphaba visits before her wedding, Glinda says they need to talk to the Wizard, Elphaba says no & disappears, but then goes and talks to the Wizard herself.

Elphaba's reasoning makes sense, because Glinda still didn't want to believe the Wizard was unredeemable at that point, but this is something Elphaba does repeatedly, she insists on doing things by herself because she doesn't want to burden the people she loves & the culmination is her & Fiyero cutting Glinda out of their lives permanently. it's a snowball effect/catch-22 Elphaba/Fiyero/her parents keep shielding Glinda from the realities of the world, so when they finally try to "pop" Glinda's bubble, Glinda doesn't want to believe it, so they lose trust & keep shielding her, etc etc. The movie's villains capitalize on that ignorance, particularly Morrible, & Elphaba's attempts to protect Glinda end up being their greatest weapon against her.

also also truth & lies are a big theme of the stage production, but again the movie does a really good job of putting Elphaba & Glinda on separate trajectories. Glinda's arc is about learning how to live as herself & see the world for what it is, meanwhile Elphaba's arc is about learning how to live within the lies that have been constructed for her. Elphaba is told over & over again throughout the movie that the truth doesn't matter & that no one in Oz will be happy until she's dead. and Elphaba herself eventually comes to agree.

(one of my favorite additions was the scene with Nessa where Elphaba asks Nessa if she knows why their father always hated her & Nessa says it doesn't matter to which Elphaba dejectedly agrees. compare that with the scene before Popular where Elphaba tells Glinda her secret, that it's her fault Nessa can't walk and Glinda says "that may be your secret but it doesn't make it true" it KILLS me)

and after seeing the movie I might finally get why Elphaba cut Glinda out of her plan. I think it might not be about Glinda at all, but about wanting to make Oz itself better for everyone, and giving Glinda the power to do that, because Glinda is the only person she trusts to do what's best for Oz. again, I wasn't a huge fan of the new song "No Place Like Home" but I think it perfectly encapsulates Elphaba's motivations & sets up her choice at the end. I feel like Elphaba didn't want Glinda to be forced to choose between her & Oz (again) so she took that choice away. maybe she even feared Glinda wouldn't be able to put Oz first, or realized that Glinda wouldn't agree to perpetuate the lie if she thought there was a chance Elphaba could live in Oz again. so Elphaba gave Glinda everything she wanted, love, power, MAGIC and then took herself out of the equation. I don't think I agree with Elphaba but I get it.

and the final shot with the grimmerie finally awakening for Glinda. the fact that it happens in the same spot as Defying Gravity just kill me.

[backwards360]

shoutout to characters who are bad people, know theyre bad people, and still get endings where they try and grow and do better and ultimately end up happy

[backwards360]

who the fuck is essek

[edelgarfield]

i don't want to brag bc I'm worried about making a total fool of myself but I think I've been able to use BG3 to make some pretty convincing "portraits" for my D&D characters. using modding tools + Photoshop tools I can fake a digital painting pretty well to get a customized representation of my character.

[edelgarfield]

tbh i don't want to hear anyone's opinion about the wicked movies if they're not a musical theater fan

[edelgarfield]

the fact that everyone is suddenly getting on their soapbox about EDs because of some emotional interviews is fucking revolting.

you're literally just taking the "women are crazy" trope and making it woke

people that have never listened to a single musical are barging into a fandom that's been waiting two decades for a movie and saying "i don't get it." like have you never met a fucking theater kid.

[edelgarfield]

Wicked is the second highest grossing musical ever and the highest grossing female led musical. Nearly every 20-40yo woman in theater grew up wanting to be Glinda or Elphaba. Don't even get me started on how much queer women love this show. Literally every woman I've ever spoken to about Wicked has told me it immediately brings them to tears. god forbid women like things.

[edelgarfield]

tbh i don't want to hear anyone's opinion about the wicked movies if they're not a musical theater fan

[edelgarfield]

the fact that everyone is suddenly getting on their soapbox about EDs because of some emotional interviews is fucking revolting.

you're literally just taking the "women are crazy" trope and making it woke

people that have never listened to a single musical are barging into a fandom that's been waiting two decades for a movie and saying "i don't get it." like have you never met a fucking theater kid.

[edelgarfield]

tbh i don't want to hear anyone's opinion about the wicked movies if they're not a musical theater fan

[my-random--thoughts-deactivated]

[abandoned-as-mustard]

[segamascott]

Why the fuck are you 30+ on tumblr

this is my house?

[grungixfungi]

[sinlizards]

Blue blooded royal body Elegantly posed to death

[kleefkruid]

cats would be so fucking upset if they understood they were missing out on the ability to lie verbally

[edelgarfield]

hot take but i feel like there's a huge double standard in fandom creative spaces where if a creator you like/respect copies your idea it's inspiration but when a creator you dislike/look down on copies your idea, it's plagiarism.

this isn't targeted at anyone, I just keep catching wind of fandom drama against my will

[grimoiremanifest]

my most toxic trait is that whenever i hold something you're meant to hit things with, i start feeling very different. Very powerful

[grimoiremanifest]

My white ass would be corrupted by the demon blade so fast. Like you could not put me and the demon blade in the same room before i would be taking bodies and drinking the blood of former confidants

[artharakka]

Commission from earlier this year for @edelgarfield

[edelgarfield]

I was just looking at this piece the other day! this is my kelpie OC, Shar, from my Monster of the Week campaign. i think she's responsible for 100% of the party's kills.r

OP did an amazing job bringing her to life, they were great to work with!

[mortalityplays]

REMEMBER:

if you don't understand the post at a glance it's because op wrote it wrong and needs your help

if the post doesn't contain all the contextualising information you need to understand it, op is gaslighting you

if you haven't experienced the phenomenon the post describes, op is making it up for clout

if you haven't encountered the type of person the post describes, they're a strawman that doesn't exist

if the post doesn't address a topic you'd prefer to talk about, it's a distraction, missing the point, and talking over you

if the post makes a good point, it is your duty to contribute to human enlightenment by nitpicking it to be more correct

and most importantly:

every online conversation is a competition and you must win

[edelgarfield]

is there ship drama in the umamusume fandom around the fact that some of the horses are related irl

[edelgarfield]

ugh I'm happy for anyone that's excited about cr4 but so far everything I've heard about it just makes me feel severely bummed out.

I was expecting them to change things, I wasn't excited about it but I saw it coming, but every new announcement just feels like it's confirming my fear that CR is slowly morphing into D20

(and theres nothing wrong with that, but if I wanted to watch D20 I would watch D20)

at this point I'm preparing myself for the announcement sometime next year that D20 and CR are just going to merge together

[edelgarfield]

like I'm sure it's gonna be good but it's just like. I've been watching CR since episode 8 of CR1 when they were in G&S's basement and I knew almost nothing about D&D & I've been along for the ride ever since.

I love it so much & it got me into TTRPGs which changed my life. & I've listened to a lot of other D&D shows & had fun but CR was always different. I have a million posts in my drafts of me trying to explain why but at the end of the day when other shows got on my nerves, it was the one I kept coming back to.

and they deserve all the growth & success they've had & it makes sense that the show would change especially now bc the landscape for TTRPG shows is drastically different from when CR started, & they need to change to stay relevant & draw in new viewers. but it feels like they're filing off all the things that made CR unique & turning into every other D&D show. & im sure it will still be excellent & there will be things to love, but it's not MY show anymore.

[edelgarfield]

and also just on a personal extremely petty level I had such AWFUL interactions with D20 fans near the end of CR2 that it completely soured D20 & Dropout for me so I just don't want D20 fans following Brennan et al over. realistically, I know it's for the best & better for both fandoms long-term probably but on a personal level I'm just bitter about it.