" if I do not miss a part of you, then a part of me is dead. "
☆ my name is elijah, call me eli or eeks.
☆ my ao3 and league of comic geeks are the same user, and eeks27 on letterboxd
☆ male (he/him) who writes for other male readers, some x reader works may be passable as gender neutral; that will be stated on each work.
☆ i am bi with a strong preference for men, most works will be mlm, some mlw.
☆ i accept requests (more info in the links below).
☆ i love interacting with ppl so don't be afraid to just talk to talk in my asks, or ask me about what book/show/movie/podcast/game im consuming atm! i love media in all forms and just love to analyze them!
i desperately need someone to edit s3 dex getting placed on leave to self's placing the blame,, do you see the vision??? might need to learn to edit lmao
the lyrics im specifically talking about if anyone doesn't know the song (these lines repeat) ^^
warnings/info: hard to be fluffy w these two, a lil sexually charged but nothing happens, whiny loser dex, distant ashamed matt, implied dom top matt and sub bottom dex, anything you see that you'd like me to expand on/write a full fic about just ask!, i love these two sm that this ask got me to "write" for the first time in a little over 2 whole years so thank you anon it means a lot more than you could ever know :), and a big fat kiss to anyone reading this, lmk if i missed anything
A - Admiration. (What do they admire about their S/O?)
In regards to Dex, he idolizes Matt, so technically he admires everything about him, namely how "good" he thinks Matt is causing Dex to use him as a blueprint for how he believes he should act as well. Outside of Dex's issues, he finds Matt's powers and athleticism extremely impressive (and attractive), and appreciates having someone who is equally skilled as him for the first time.
Similarly for Matt he loves Dex's capabilities especially having someone who is able to keep him on his toes, and be a useful ally whenever he needs it. While Dex's aim is not something to brush over, he finds Dex's FBI and military experience underutilized as they also come in handy for tasks that don't involve direct violence. He also has a strong admiration for Dex's dedication for anything he desires (ideally said anything is something Matt agrees with).
B - Boldness. (How bold are they in regards to their S/O? Who confessed first?)
Dex and Matt tend to be both very bold when it comes to each other given their past for intense situations, like arguments or sex, though when it comes to super lovey-dovey stuff they both falter. Matt feels immense guilt over having relations with Dex and finds it easier to cope with if he acts like it isn't a close relationship, while Dex is inexperienced with emotions such as these and struggles with identifying which are normal and which are obsessive, so he shuts down.
Given how they met (and everything to come after that) them getting together was not brought on by a simple admission, instead a conglomerate of fighting, hook-ups, and tearful conversations. Matt definitely made the first move during a heated exchange, while Dex was the first to confess real care for the other (which he did sobbing and begging Matt to not abandon him after Matt told him they should stop seeing each other).
C - Comfort. (How do they comfort their S/O?)
Dex doesn't. Or at least not well. As shown by his time in the suicide hotline, he doesn't do a great job at comfort, though he does adore Matt so he wouldn't pull anything crazy, just a lot of "that sounds hard" and "I'm sorry". Dex however is great at advise as he is a very logical person and from having to observe others, he knows how to deal with people, which is helpful for issues Matt is having with his friends Karen or co-workers, and his field expertise is great for "work" issues.
Matt on the other hand isn't awful at comfort, nobody is giving him an award for it anytime soon, but he makes it work. With Dex the best thing he can do is getting Dex out of his own head by talking to him and making an action plan for how they'll get him out of whatever is going on. He does this because Dex finds comfort in familiarity and it resembles the therapy he used to have. If it is something unfixable, Matt finds physical touch works just as well for snapping Dex out of it, ironically because it is something completely unfamiliar to him and given Dex's obsession with the other he is more than willing to become familiar with it.
D - Dates. (Do they prefer going out of staying in? Do they prefer fancy or simple?)
Dex prefers to stay in so he doesn't need to preform for anyone (even if it's just the waiter), and he finds himself much less on edge when he's in his own home or Matt's. Matt is able to enjoy a night in, but tends to lean to going out as shown by his frequently in Josie's and the Indian restaurant, he however compromises by going out with friends and staying in with Dex.
Matt goes simple over fancy ten times over, while he can obviously enjoy fancy things, there is no deep desire for it and he himself would never go out of his way. Dex on the other hand grew to love designer clothing, fancy meals, top shelf drinks, and so on during his time in the FBI as he thought it helped him blend in by having "common interests," as well as being used as a dominance play over his co-workers by subtly flashing whatever expensive watch or cologne he was wearing that day. These things also put a distance between him and his childhood as he would have never been around anyone who had ownership over anything like that, much less him being able to have them. Finally, designer items tend to have a sleek clean feel to them which bodes well with Dex's OCD. Dex ultimately doesn't know if he actually likes them though or if he just thinks he should — either way they incorporate both.
E - Equal. (Are they more dominate or passive?)
Matt is the dominant one in the relationship obviously, not even just discussing sex, Dex wants someone to boss him around, his North Star if you will, and Matt doesn't trust Dex to take control over anything important.
F - Family. (Do they want to start a family?)
Matt deep within loves the idea of settling down and raising a family, but would never voice this as he believes this isn't something meant for him if he continues to be Daredevil and especially not with fucking Bullseye. Dex has absolutely no want for children or even an animal; he just doesn't understand the appeal of being wholly responsible for another living creature that he isn't going to actually care about.
G - Goofy. (How serious are they when it comes to a relationship?)
Once Matt's walls lower around Dex he would be very unserious, specifically playfully sarcastic whenever he was allowed to be as he likes to tackle conversations with humor over anything else. He is also shown using sarcasm cruelly which he would do (has done) before his walls lower. Dex doesn't really joke around, but he adores when Matt jokes with him and he will go along with it, it makes their relationship feel real and solid which he can doubt sometimes.
H - Hugs. (How do they hug? Do they like hugs?)
Matt is incredibly neutral when it comes to hugs, he doesn't love them, but is no where near repulsed by them. Matt typically offers hugs when people are sad, or as a form of greeting/goodbye. His casual hugs are rather loose and very quick, one arm if he can manage, while his comfort hugs are stereotypical tight full body hugs. For those he likes to put his chin atop of the other's head, and he tends to run hot, leaving a cloak of warmth on the other.
Dex loves hugging Matt (he only hugs Matt), he just adores the physical closeness as it is almost proof of ownership — that he really is Matt's, because if he wasn't he wouldn't be allowed to be this close. Dex likes to greet Matt by hugging him from behind and nuzzling his face into Matt's neck while inhaling his scent, though he'll take whatever Matt is willing to give him. Additionally he is never the one to break the hug.
I - Interests. (What interests do they want to share with their S/O?)
It took Dex a long time to get into baseball after the incident, while he no longer plays, he still has a love for the sport and often finds himself narrating the action on the TV for Matt with the actual commentators muted as "they just don't understand it like I do". He doesn't really have any other hobbies as he never felt connected to anything like he did baseball.
Matt will talk to Dex about whatever case he's working on or any big political/landmark cases that may be happening (while Dex doesn't know the lawyer's side, he is able to keep up due to his FBI experience). Matt would also do everything he could to get Dex into boxing. Matt doesn't really keep up with current boxers or anything like that, as his love is all practical, so it would be a lot of forcing Dex to spar with him, not that Dex would need forced.
J - Jealousy. (Do they get jealous? How do they deal with jealousy?)
Matt doesn't really get jealous, he is very confident and comfortable with himself so there really isn't a reason to. The fact that Dex is utterly obsessed with him doesn't hurt either. Dex on the other hand is very prone to jealousy; this is rooted in his own insecurities especially with the idea that Matt will eventually be overtaken by his past hate for Dex and decide to leave him. These feelings manifest primarily against Karen due to the fact they've dated and have had breaks before, so why would this break-up be any different? Dex tends to get a little…weird when he's jealous. His jealousy act changes a bit depending on whether or not he's alone with Matt or if the person he's jealous of is there. If they are he gets mean to everyone around him and possessive of Matt, trying to convince him that they should go home (this is done primarily by attempted seduction). If they aren't he gets pathetic and angry, there is lots of crying, lots of begging, and lots of accusations against Matt and then lots of apologies before starting again with the crying.
K - Kiss. (How do they kiss/favorite place to be kissed? Favorite place to kiss their S/O?)
Matt loves to kiss Dex's jaw, specifically right under where it meets the neck on the pulse, he likes it as it feels messy and possessive especially when he is able to build up to it, and it doesn't hurt that it's right next to Dex's mouth allowing him to listen to any sounds Dex may make. Matt likes Dex to kiss his scars, especially the ones Dex left, whether as an apology to shamefully admiring his work, who's to say.
Dex loves for Matt to kiss his cheek in a nonsexual manner, just something short and sweet, typically as a greeting or goodbye. He enjoys this above anything sexual because he believes he is unlovable, and that during sex he can convince himself that Matt doesn't truly care for him because Matt is getting pleasure from anything he does to Dex — but with a cheek kiss Matt doesn't necessarily get anything physical out of it allowing Dex to have less room to trick himself into further self loathing. Dex likes to kiss Matt's thighs while looking up at him and seeing the effect he has on the other.
L - Love language.
Dex's preferred love language to receive to words of affirmation, he feels like he needs a real/solid way of being let know he's doing well. To give, Dex is a huge acts of service guy as seen in the show (you're welcome knife for example) because he loves the feeling of being useful, almost like he's earning his place in Matt's life, which is also shown in the original Daredevil show when he kills for the painting as a gift to the Fisks as a way to earn his keep.
Matt likes to receive acts of service as within his schedule he doesn't have time to really take care of everything he wants to take care of, so someone doing some chores or running some errands for him really makes a big difference. For Matt he loves to give quality time, though that may not come to fruition to very often, getting dinner or going to a bar is something close to his heart and he loves to do that with the people he loves.
M - Meals. (What are their kitchen dynamics with their S/O?)
They are pretty 50/50 when it comes to the kitchen, as they both capable cooks. Though due to Matt's senses he is very much better at cooking as he is able to have a stronger feel for the food compared to Dex, but he'll still allow Dex to have turns as he isn't too bad himself. They'll both clean up for the other if the other did the cooking. Unsurprisingly, after Matt cleans up on Dex's night, Dex will go through and clean after Matt did. It's not that Matt misses things, more so the two have differing opinions on the kitchen organization and Dex is more willing to fight than Matt is.
N - Nicknames. ( What do they call their S/O?)
Matt doesn't have any seriously used pet names; to be mean Matt will use names such as sweetheart, angel, and honey (if he's feeling crazy Benny), but he'd never call Dex anything like that with heartfelt intent. The only nicknames used aloud between the two are just their usual nicknames — Dex and Matt. In his mind however, Dex likes to think of Matt as Matty, because of how vulnerable the name is to Matt, it makes Dex feel like he is the closest person Matt has now.
O - Openness. (How open are they with their S/O about their past/emotions?)
In order for the relationship to work they specifically need to be very open, and as seen throughout the show, neither of them struggle with telling the other how they really feel about the other's actions/past.
That being said, Matt does struggle to tell Dex what he's up to as Daredevil, only asking for help if it is absolutely necessary. Not because he doesn't trust Dex, more so a pride and protective thing, as shown by his failure utilize Foggy and Karen early onto a problem. Dex on the other hand will tell Matt everything about his work/that side of his life finding it offensive that Matt doesn't repay the favor, and will usually follow him from afar if he senses something wrong.
P - PDA. (How comfortable with PDA are they?)
Matt usually is fine with it, but with Dex he does everything he can to avoid it, not because he's ashamed of Dex or their relationship…actually yes it is because he's ashamed of Dex and his relationship to him. Dex surprisingly doesn't like it that much either as he doesn't like the attention it brings and he isn't really all touchy feely like that. He really only uses PDA to make a point when he's jealous/upset.
Essentially their version of PDA is sitting with their shoulders touching, maybe, but from an outside perspective no one would be able to tell what kinda things the two get into at night.
Q - Quarrel. (How they apologize/how long it takes them to forgive their S/O?)
This is obviously not a standard relationship, based on the foundation in which it was built up, they don't have normal or healthy ways of going about things; meaning they fight a lot and fuck to forget even more. So really there isn't a unforgiven to forgiven timeline as they have never truly forgiven the other for anything. As far as giving "heartfelt" apologies it is very one sided with Dex apologizing for anything immediately after doing it, not because he feels bad, but because he thinks that is what Matt wants from him.
R - Rules. (Boundaries they have.)
No bringing up Foggy. They have learned that neither of them are going to be able to move past it, and as unhealthy as they are they just don't talk about him.
The relationship is also very secretive, they just aren't in a settling down type of deal, and due to their past Matt hates the idea of them being a "thing" so he thinks it should remain just between them and Karen anyone who walked in.
S - Security. (How protective are they of their S/O?)
Matt is protective of Dex in an emotional way, he tries his best to keep Dex away from anything triggering for him so to keep Dex from falling off the deep end. Matt isn't over the top about his protectiveness of Dex, he feels that with everything always going on with him, Dex can't be his priority.
Dex understands that Matt is fully capable of taking care of himself in a fight, but he can't help but feel protective every time he sees Matt in the Daredevil suit, like he could stop Matt from putting himself in danger by doing whatever for him; after all putting himself in harm's way for other's goals is what he's best at. Of course Matt doesn't let him help the majority of the time, so he just has to be content watching from afar as Matt works, waiting for any use he may have to the devil.
T - Time. (How long does it take them to fall for their S/O/get with their S/O?)
Dex became immediately obsessed with Matt after being visited in prison. Technically, if he thinks about it in depth a little more he could see that he was in love with the idea of Matt prior to requesting him, but feeling Matt's hands wrap around him, calling him sweetheart in that oh so hateful tone, all went straight to his heart? Dick? Soul? Whatever the answer is, Dex fell for him quickly and hard, each time he lays eyes of Matt is just gets more intense. Some times, if he thinks too long, he can almost convince himself that Matt purposely knocked his tooth loose to help Dex escape, that maybe Matt was always on his side.
Matt falls for Dex slowly. To be honest Matt will never admit that he has fallen for Dex other than in confession (maybe), but subconsciously it began to happen when Dex saved Matt during The Northern Star, and progressed from there. It really hit him when he realized Dex went out of his way to protect him at the courthouse, after already been told by Matt himself that by non-lethally protecting the governor he'd be even.
U - Upset. (what things upset them in a relationship?)
The two's main arguments always revolve around how to handle "bad guys" and how Dex can be truly good, because Dex wants to use Matt as a guide for his morality, but unfortunately it's not a switch that can just be flipped, resulting in physical fights between them typically begun by Matt. This upsets both of them for different reasons; Matt because he feels Dex is wasting himself away by doing unjust things, while also harming innocents, and disregarding the system Matt has fought so hard to keep clean. As for Dex, he, as someone who has participated in the corrupt system, has a hard time believing it will all be okay in the end, and thinks Matt is naive for thinking it will be (as for the latter, he holds more pity for Matt than anger).
Dex also despises how Matt still hates him and shows obvious shame/disgust at himself for what they do together. Dex will never bring this up to Matt though, for fear of being abandoned by him.
V - Vacation. (What kind of traveler are they? Where would they go with their S/O?)
They don't really have a vacation type of relationship, as they aren't romantically involved enough to go away together for pleasure, nor is it clear that either have ever traveled for fun (it is unlikely, due to Matt's finances/responsibilities, and Dex probably has little desire to see most things). That being said they could both do with a relaxing, all-inclusive spa on an island.
As for them individually: Matt would be a pretty loosely planned traveler, liking for it to be exciting and relaxed. He isn't completely a spur of the moment kinda guy, more so he has a bullet point list of the things he needs to do that day and roughly around what time, but he won't stress over lateness. As for Dex, this man plans to the minute with a detailed itinerary, including backup plans, multiple meal choices in a ranked order, every route to get from place to place, and so on. He plans so much for this own nerves, but he really only has to use plan A, and he won't tell anyone with him about all he has planned until they absolutely need it (he doesn't want them to think plan B might be better in the moment. If plan A can happen, why wouldn't you do plan A?).
W - Words. (Promises they make to their S/O.)
They try not to make promises to each other for the most part, but Dex promises to try and be good better and Matt promises to try and help him achieve that.
X - Xenial. (How they make their S/O feel welcome/what makes them feel welcome?)
Dex makes Matt welcome in the relationship by trying to prove that he's worth Matt's time; if he's good for Matt, then Matt will stay around. Dex feels welcomed by Matt most when Matt lets him into his space in a domestic sense, such as having a toothbrush at his house or being cooked breakfast at Matt's house rather than an immediate shove out the door.
Matt makes Dex feels welcome by giving him a quick soft kiss. He knows how much Dex feels loved when he does that, so if Dex had indeed been good he then has earned one as a reward. Matt feels welcomed by Dex when Dex talks to him. As simple as it is Matt thoroughly enjoys having trivial conversations with Dex, he feels it humanizes the both of them in this otherwise intense, dysregulating, and toxic relationship.
Y - Yearning. (Do they miss their S/O easily? What do they do about it? Additionally, who feel first/who fell harder?)
Matt lives within his own little world and doesn't miss people like a normal person would, he doesn't sit around thinking about talking to people because he doesn't have time for that. He'll get to Dex when he gets to him. Dex obviously doesn't have the same control, maybe for other people, but not Matt. Dex misses Matt once he's out of sight, and what does he do about it? He finds Matt duh. If Matt is too busy for Dex then that's okay, he's fine waiting.
Similarly said in T, Dex fell first and Dex fell harder (poor guy).
Z - Zzz. (What are their sleeping habits/how do they cuddle?)
Dex isn't too used to have someone near him in sleep so he doesn't know how to go about it, but Matt ever the cuddler, will unconsciously steal Dex away into the little spoon. Dex loves it more than anything. They both were trained to be light sleepers, Dex in the military, while Matt by Stick and his powers/after dark activities. Neither of them really snore, Matt however has a distinct breathing change which could be seen as light snoring, but that remains a debate.
Regulus: Waow I bought a house in Brazil for me and my boyfriend with red and green shutters. I can't wait to retire after this heist and live with the love of my life
hey!! sry for not writing anything for 5 months, school has been yucky, but im back!! i started with an alphabet bc it was an easy way to ease myself back into writing. also happy gay month 🫶
Bucky Barnes Fluff Alphabet
bucky barnes x m!reader
word count: 4.4k
warnings/info: letter J depicts a make out sesh ig, internalized homophobia is mentioned, Buck cries, use of you/your for reader but is said to be male, there are scenes after the hcs for a little bit but I gave up on that lol, made in my notes app so sry for any formatting issues, not proof read
A - Admiration. (what do they admire about their S/O?)
☆ Bucky loves your hands. He likes how "innocent" they are compared to his. He adores when you hold his hand, especially the vibranium one. It makes him feel all warm and soft inside. It causes his stomach to ache (in a loving way), and it makes him want to love himself.
The two of you are slowly making your way through the crowded farmer's market, somewhat resembling a can of sardines. You were walking in front of him, taking notice of a small clearing off to the side, grasping his metallic hand, pulling him behind you. He follows without question, a small smile pointed at your two interlocked hands.
Once stopped in the empty area, before you could even think of letting go of him, he pulled you into him, placing his cracked lips onto your own.
"You know I love you, right?"
"Of course I do."
He kisses you again.
B - Boldness. (how bold are they in regards to their S/O? who confessed first?)
☆ Bucky was a confident man in his youth, always the one making the first move. Ever since he started living in Brooklyn again, he started to notice the anxiety crawling up his throat whenever he interacted with others. This is why he wouldn't start talking to you, even if he's interested in you, so you would need to initiate the first few (dozen) conversations before he starts to feel comfortable around you. That being said, given that you've been talking as friends/acquaintances, he'll have no problem asking you out, it might just take me some time.
☆ Once in a relationship he is extremely bold, there are still some topics where he would be more hesitant to talk about (such as the full extent of his past), but when it comes to you he won't having any problem charmin' you like there’s no tomorrow.
Bucky lingers in front of your shared apartment building hoping to catch you on your way home after a day out, he nervously switches from leaning on a tree to sitting on a bench, then back to the tree. He only waits for about five or so minutes before he notices you walking on the pavement leading to the building, but after locking eyes with him, your course changes.
"Hey, Bucky!"
"y/n! I'm glad I caught you, can I walk you up?"
You simply smile and nod in the direction of the door. You smell like newly washed clothes, but to Bucky, it might as well be heaven. You break the silence by asking him about his day, he breifly responds, giving you some of the highlights, you two chit-chat for bit, not able to dive into much as the trip is rather short. By the time you two reach your door, he realizes that he longer can try to find the perfect segue so he might as well just go for it.
"...Well, thanks for walking with me." You smile at him, reaching for the door handle.
"Wait, y/n, I wanted to talk to you about something." You raise your eyebrows as a sort of permission for him to continue.
"I hope I wasn't misreading this, but would you like to get dinner together sometime?" His voice remains unwavering, with a sly smile dancing across his face.
You roll your eyes at his tone, but it's hard to hide the smile forming at the corners of your mouth,"I guess I don't see why not."
"Yeah, yeah," he snickers, "here." It's his number written on the back of receipt, a small smiley face had been drawn next to it, then erased.
"See you, Bucky."
"Bye, y/n."
C - Comfort. (how do they comfort their S/O?)
☆ Bucky is more of an advice guy than a comfort guy, this is due to him getting extremely awkward/uncomfortable during touchy, feely situations (and not because he doesn't know how to confront his own emotions!!). However, he does understand the need for warmth during hard times, he just opts to show it through acts of service instead.
Your thoughts thrash against the walls inside your head, the throbbing only getting worse as you slowly pull yourself out of his bed. Your face caked in sweat and dried tears, your bloodshot eyes drift to the phone resting upon the on of the nightstands, your unsteady hand grips the device, checking the time.
The late afternoon sun coats the walls in an irritable light, despite the curtains being mostly closed. You notice on the second nightstand that he left a glass of ice water (which was mostly melted now) and a note, which read:
"EVERYTHING NEEDED FOR A BATH IS ON THE BATHROOM COUNTER - ILL BE BACK WITH YOUR FAVORITE ASAP :)"
D - Dates. (do they prefer going out or staying in? do they prefer fancy or simple?)
☆ Bucky has a really hard time with this one. All he is used to are the classic dinner and a movie type dates, but in his heart, he likes the more intimate, at home, kind. Over time, he finds a sort of balance between the two, like a picnic at a drive-in movie.
"Bucky, where the hell are we?"
The two of you are currently driving down backroads you've never seen before. The road is slightly too narrow for anyone to get fully comfortable, the night sky darkening the path. Bucky has been relatively quiet, letting you do all the talking, and control the music; he never has liked modern music, but there's something special about when you play it.
"Well, if I tell you it's not really a surprise, is it?" He answered, turning his head to you slightly. The smile on his face is almost aggravating, if it had been anyone else's, you would've jumped out of the moving vehicle.
"You're not funny," you playfully roll your eyes, "if I didn't know you any better, I'd say you're trying to kill me." You pretend to study him as if trying to find a motive.
"Well, I can promise you I'm not doing that." The smile changes to softer, genuine.
The car is almost silent for the rest of the way, the soft music leading you two down the road. The car pulls into an unpaved parking lot, bringing you back to reality. You look around and see a white screen proudly standing twenty or so feet ahead of you, realizing what's going on, you turn to Bucky. A nervous grin shines back at you, he's holding a basket filled with dinner, and movie snacks.
"You like it?"
E - Equal. (are they more dominant or passive?)
☆ Due to Bucky growing up in the 40s, he does still have quite a bit of internalized homophobia. Therefore, he tends to try and be the stereotypical, manly, provider. He does unconsciously feminize you to make himself feel better, but the second he realizes, or you tell him, he'll do everything to stop, as well as profusely apologize.
☆ Other than that, I do see him as being in the middle. He can obviously take control when he needs to, but also because of his past, he loves when you take the pressure off, and take care of him.
(I can't think of a scene for this rn, and I rlly need to finish this so sry, if anyone want more about this just ask)
F - Family. (do they want to start a family?)
☆ Bucky loves kids, and is great with them, but he doesn't want to have his own, at least until he's stable. So for now he's okay with being the cool uncle.
After spending a lake day with the Wilsons, it was noticeable that Bucky wanted to say something. He looked uncomfortable, nervous even as he waited for everyone to finally call it a night. A little after the kids were put to bed, Sarah called it in, then Sam. You went to follow, seeing as it may be weird to stay up longer than the hosts, but Bucky ushered you to follow him to the back deck.
You sat on the stairs next to him in silence, waiting for him to speak, the warm air surrounding you two. He bit his lip and looked at you, studying you.
"I love you," He smiles at you, his tone signifying a second part of what he needs to say.
"But?" You laugh, nervousness now making its way into you.
"But I can't give you this." He has tears in his eyes, threatening to fall if he says anything else.
"What does that mean?" Confusion grips you tightly, his face giving nothing away.
"An apple pie life," he laughs at his own words, "I can't give you the house, and two kids, dinner by 6, it's all too much for that." He looks to the lake as if it could help him.
"Bucky," you gently take his chin, making him look at you, "what makes you think I want that?"
"The way you looked at me," he wipes a fallen tear from his cheek, "when I was playing with Cass and AJ today.
"Oh, Bucky." You kiss a tear away from the side of his nose, "I don't need any of that, hon. I just need you."
G - Goofy. (how serious are they when it comes to a relationship?)
☆ When it comes to a romantic relationship, Bucky can be pretty serious, while he is smooth/sly, 'goofy' isn't really the word I'd use to describe him. Not to say he wouldn't be funny, but I feel as though his humor is more sarcastic than anything.
(same thing as before)
H - Hugs. (how do they hug?)
☆ I imagine Bucky's skin to be cold, so that transfers to his hugs, but he's cold like a soft breeze on a hot beach. His hugs would also be very firm because of obvious reasons. If he's in an emotional mood, they may be slightly too hard, but never enough to hurt you.
You shiver slightly as his arms wrap around your frame, his head resting upon your shoulder. You two stay like that for a moment before he shifts his head into the crook of your neck, leaving a chaste kiss on it before planting his nose to touch your skin; eyelashes softly tickling you as he blinks.
"I miss you."
I - Interests. (what Interests do they want to share with their S/O?)
☆ Bucky's a fucking nerd, his main interests being motorcycles, fantasy novels (reading in general), folklore, and ancient history.
Bucky smiled widely as he firmly gripped some obscure fantasy novel with a dragon on the cover, unintentionally waving it around. He's excitedly explaining the novel to you, about how well written the book is, about how interesting the character dynamics are, and so on. You mirror his smile as you watch him talk, hanging on to every word that falls off his tongue.
You stand, your smile never wavering as you walk toward him, he stops talking, confused. Once you reach him, you pull him into your grasp, kissing his cheek, holding him close.
"What?" His voice lacking confidence, his smile now unsure.
"Keep talking." You mumble into him, "I like it when you talk." He grins and continues his rant.
J - Jealousy. (do they get jealous?)
☆ He can get jealous, this is do to his trust issues, but he's mature enough that he won't be a bitch about it unless you want him to, he'll just talk to you, and the two of you will work through it one way or another. He does get rather clingy when jealous, though, wanting to touch you in some way.
You and Bucky are currently at your workplace, your boss decided in order to boost morale that a company party was needed, and you (thankfully) convinced Bucky to go, promising it'll be quick.
Both of you were chatting with one of your work friends when they asked you to come help them get refreshments, leaving Bucky alone with their spouse. Bucky wanted to be nice, he did, but the spouse would not stop going on and on about some shit Bucky had never even heard of. So, naturally, his eyes wander trying to locate you, hoping that you'll come back and save him from this dreadful conversation, and that's when he saw it. Your co-worker was basically feeling you up, their eyes traced your figure as you bent over to grab a couple of waters from the case on the floor, and when you stood back up they grabbed your waist to "move you out of the way" of someone walking by.
The final straw was when you attempted to walk back to Bucky and their spouse, they grabbed you by the elbow stopping you from moving, the grip wasn't very hard from what Bucky could see, but the look on your face was enough to get him moving.
Bucky walked away from the spouse mid sentence. They called out at him, but he paid it no mind. He reached the two of you, and you smiled at him, saying something along the lines of "What couldn’t stand to be without me?" Bucky rolled his eyes when the co-worker asked what he was doing.
"Sorry to cut this short, but honey, we got to go." Overpronouncing the pet name, as he pulls you toward him.
"What? You just got here!" The co-worker joked, "Come on, y/n! The night is still young." He whined out.
"I'm sorry, but Buck's right. I promised to make dinner tonight in order for him to come." You laughed, pulling Bucky's hand into your grasp, "See you on Monday though." You smiled at them, causing Bucky to tighten the grip of his hand around yours.
The second the two of you walked out of the building Bucky pushed you against the wall of it, just barely out of view from the window, kissing you harshly. You opened your mouth in shock, giving Bucky the opportunity to slide his tongue in. His hands roam your body in search for nothing in particular, he smirks when you moan into the kiss, motivating him to pull as much of those pretty little sounds out of you as he can. He thinks of your co-worker, the slimy bastard, they could never have you like this, this thought makes his smile grow as he attaches to your neck, and slips his knee in between your legs. Once he's satisfied with your disheveled state, he silently walks away to the car, leaving you to follow him, confused, calling out for him to slow down.
K - Kiss. (how they kiss/favorite place to be kissed, and vise versa.)
☆ Bucky’s kisses are tender/soft, this is attributed to him subconsciously not wanting to hurt you in any way, so any time he touches you it's rather gentle. His lips tend to taste a little like blood, because he has a habit of biting them.
☆ His favorite place to kiss you is on your cheek, specifically with his hands on your hips as a form of greeting.
☆ His favorite place to be kissed is his neck, it feels special, a place just for you and no one else, it's a form of intimacy he hasn't been able to truly experience until now. He especially likes it when you hug him from behind kissing up from the top of his spine to his nape hairline.
Bucky uncomfortably cleaned the kitchen as he waited for you to return from work; he had recently moved in to your place, and it was just now starting to hit him how serious you guys were. You and him have been dating for quite a while, he stayed over more times than not, so it was only natural for you to ask him to move in. He said yes of course, how could he not? He thought about the two of you, about him no longer sleeping in your bed, but sleeping in his. Next to you. It's driving him insane, oh god - when did he start crying? Seriously though, how could you chose him? He just doesn't understand how this happened, how could you, of all people, want him? More tears. God, Bucky, pull yourself together man.
His thoughts screech to a halt as he hears the door open, he hears you call out his name, he doesn't respond, wiping the tears, this proved to be a lot harder to do as one's tears are still actively falling. You find him within a few seconds, he's facing the sink, you snicker at his concentration; you walk up to him, making sure not to be silent, though there’s not a doubt in your mind he knows you're there. You wrap your arms around his lower torso, placing your chin on his shoulder. His hands stop moving as he leans into the touch.
"Hey, Buck." You softly whisper, "You get out today?"
"Of course I have." He turns his head down slightly, trying to avoid eye contact, "You worry too much." He grumbles, he attempts to move his arms forward, but stops when he feels your lips graze his nape.
"I like worrying about you." Another kiss. "It keeps me grounded." You laugh into his neck.
"Please." He drags out the word in an almost whiney tone, moving his head back to get even closer to your mouth, "Please don't stop."
You consister teasing him, turning his chin to look at you, but stop when you see his wet cheeks you decide against it. You leave a kiss on the corner of his mouth as a sort of apology, before going back to what you were doing to the back of his neck.
"God, Buck, you know how much I love you?" You mumble into his skin after a few moments.
"No, I don't think I do," He smiles at the wall, "how much?"
You unravel your arms from around him, placing them on his shoulders, turning him to face you. You deeply press your lips onto his nose, causing him to scrunch his face, the kiss makes a humming sound, before a soft pop of your lips.
"That much, times like a thousand." You giggle at his soft expression.
"Wow. That's a lot." He remarks with faux amazement, trying to make it seem like you didn't just make his heart nearly beat out of his chest.
"Yeah it is." You exaggerate the words, gripping his cheeks for one last kiss.
L - Love Language.
☆ Bucky's love language is definitely acts of service. He enjoys doing things for you, and putting his skills to use, I think this can been seen in fatws when he helps Sam with repairing the boat, and getting him a new suit. He likes surprising you with household takes already completed when you get home, he absolutely basks in the praise you give him for doing this.
(yuck. This is where I officially give up on the scenes, as said prior if you want to see any specific ones just ask!!)
M - Meals. (kitchen dynamics.)
☆ Bucky doesn't like to cook with other people, you can watch for sure! But he doesn't like to share the space too closely, it just annoys him when people do things he believes he can do more efficiently.
☆ The two of you will most likely do A/B days when it comes to cooking and clean up, unless one person is pampering the other/it's a special occasion.
N - Nicknames. (what do they call their S/O?)
☆ His nicknames for you are obviously older, and slightly feminine (unless you tell him off), he starts you relationship with names like, doll, darling, and dove. As time progresses he will start incorporating handsome into his list of pet names. All that being said, I don't think he's too into pet names, for the most part he'll just say your real name.
O - Openness. (how open are they about their past/emotions with their S/O?)
☆ He starts telling you about his past in the form of jokes (like that one date scene in fatws). He's able to tell you about everything in a factual tone a few months into dating (just so he knows he trusts you), as far as his emotions surrounding it - that does obviously take longer, but in my opinion not by that much. The amount of emotion shared does vary, but maybe a month or two after he tells you about it for the first time, he'll start venting about his nightmares and such.
☆ also it does depend on how you view/retain media, because you might have already recognized his face/name.
P - PDA.
☆ Bucky is in the middle when it comes to PDA, he likes holding your hand, will give you goodbye kisses and such, but he doesn't go father then that. Half due to his social anxiety, half to him wanting the more intimate things to stay private.
Q - Quarrel. (how they apologize/ how long it takes them to forgive their S/O?)
☆ If Bucky feels he's in the right he can and will be petty, such as brushing you off, or making sarcastic comments. He typically won't confront you because of the attitude he holds, but when you decide to apologize he's ready to talk it out. He accepts your apology in time, (depending on what you did) but he is still standoffish for some time after, due to his trust issues.
☆ When he fucks up he is all over fixing it. He starts the apology in a very formal manner, stating how he knows he what he did was wrong, how he'll do better. The second part of the apology is him being (too) nice for the next week, as said on L his love language is acts of service so he'll overcompensate, and do every task you needed done.
R - Rules. (boundaries they have.)
☆ His "main" boundaries are focused around his past, such as you're not allowed to pry when it comes to asking about it - he will talk about it in his own time. You're also not allowed (at least for a long time) to touch the scars he has next to where his arm is attached, or the attachment itself. As far as other boundaries go, he doesn't want you to go further than hand holding, and a quick goodbye kiss in public, and he hates it when you pity him out right - keep that in your head.
S - Security. (how protective are they of their S/O?)
☆ He is very protective of you, not in a weird controlling way, but he always checks in out of fear someone will use you to get to him for one reason or another. This protectiveness isn't really that obvious, more just him checking in on you, and keeping an eye out when you're out together.
T - Time. (how long does it takes to fall for their S/O?)
☆ Bucky does take quite a bit of time to actually fall in love, but him finding you attractive/intriguing is very fast if not immediate. It takes about 2-3 months for him to ask you out (though he does flirt for a while first), and about 5-7 months of dating to "love" you.
U - Upset (what things upset them in a relationship?)
☆ He can get upset from a few things namely; everything said in R, when you grab him first in his post nightmare state or during/after a panic attack (he wants to be the one to initiate contact, because sometimes he doesn't want to be touched), and if you disagree on politics - although Bucky isn't the kind of guy to compromise on those so it most likely won't happen, because he wouldn't be dating you in the first place.
V - Vacation. (what kind of traveler are they with their S/O?)
☆ Bucky's a NERD!! He likes to go to places with rich history/culture, and he won't take a second to rest, he just wants to see everything, can you blame him? If you're the kind of person who wants to spend a day relaxing by the pool, I'm sorry, but he will leave you behind without hesitation.
W - Words. (promises they make to their S/O.)
☆ Bucky promises to never hurt you in any way shape or form, he promises to protect you agianst others who wish to harm you, and he promises to never leave you behind as he doesn't want anyone, especially you, to feel how he felt.
X - Xenial. (how they make you feel welcome/what makes them feel welcome?)
☆ Bucky likes to do little things for you to make you feel welcome/comfortable around him. This comes in different shapes and forms, such as complimenting you in every which way, making mental notes of things you like, and always being ready to help you out with anything you may need.
☆ Bucky feels the most welcome when it's explicitly said that he is. You using your words to validate him, not even compliment him, but just say he's doing fine, it does more for him then you could imagine.
Y - Yearning. (do they miss their S/O easily? what do they do about it?)
☆ Bucky is able to survive being isolated for long periods of time, even going as far to do it intentionally, but you've weakened him. He misses you rather fast. Now, it's not like he's going to cry over it or anything, but he will sometimes sit up at night unable to sleep without you next to him.
☆ Let's say that you two, for whatever reason, can't call. Bucky is an old fashioned guy, he likes to keep a least one physical photo of you on him at all times. He says it's his good luck charm; he would never tell you however, is that when you two are separated he keeps the photo as close as possible at nights because it calms him down from his nightmares.
Z - Zzz. (sleeping habits/how they cuddle.)
☆ As said so many times throughout this list, Bucky gets nightmares, and sometimes he can't fall back asleep afterwards so he gets up to go do his own thing, because of this while the two of you do sleep near eachother, you rarely cuddle. It's not even that he doesn't want to cuddle, he does, it's the fact he feels like a burden any time he wakes you, so instead he lied and told you he doesn't like them.
☆ Other sleep facts about him is that he runs hot at night, somewhere earlier it's said he's cold to touch, but for whatever reason he can not have more than one blanket on him, plus your body heat.
☆ His typical sleepwear is a pare of shorts, and if you want to count them, his dogtags. During the colder months he'll add a long sleeve shirt, or even just a standard tee, depends on his mood.
can you pretty please make an angst alphabet? I don’t exactly know what would be on it but the idea would be so cool.
yes yes yes 🫶 this idea is so fire flames, tbh this was a lot harder bc I feel as though it's kind of repetitive but I tried to spread it out as much as possible.
☆ angst alphabet template ☆
A - Austere. (what makes them feel uncomfortable and unwanted?)
B - Bad Habits.
C - Crying (do they cry easily? what causes them to crack? how do they cry?)
D - Death. (how do they handle the topic? what would they do if their S/O died?)
E - Emotion. (an emotion they try to suppress.)
F - Fights. (how do they argue? how quickly do they start an argument? are they patient with their S/O's feelings?)
G - Guilt. (do they feel guilty over something? how do they handle that feeling? would they tell their S/O?)
H - Heartbroken. (have they had their heartbroken before? does their S/O have the power to break them?)
I - Insecurities.
J - Jaded. (how easily do they become jaded? how do they attempt to get out of that?)
K - Killed. (what have they killed? figuratively or literally.)
L - Lies. (what lies do they tell their S/O? are they a good liar? what's their tell?)
M - Mono. (do they ever feel alone?)
N - Nightmare. (what's their worst fear?)
O - Obstacles. (what things have they overcome? how much does it still effect them?)
P - Panic. (do they panic easily? what instinct do they have, fight, flight, freeze, or fawn?)
Q - Quiet. (secrets they have.)
R - Rejection. (how do they handle rejection of any sort?)
S - Separation. (how would they react to a S/O breaking up with them? what would it take for them to break up with their S/O?)
T - Trust. (how do they break their S/O's trust? how easily is their trust earned/broken? how would they react to being betrayed?)
U - Urges. (what's something they want but cannot have? or something they lost and can't get back.)
V - Volatile. (how quickly do they anger? what do they act like when angry?)
W - Weak. (what makes them feel weak?)
X - X-ray. (how readable are their emotions? how good are they at reading their S/O?)
Y - Youth. (how has their childhood affected them now? how does it relate directly to their relationship with their S/O?)
Z - Zero. (what would they do if they lost everything? what does rock bottom look like for them?)
I wanted to do fluff alphabets for all of the silly little characters I love, but they were all inconsistent, so I made my own. I'll be using this for all of these I make; use if you please. :)
A - Admiration. (what do they admire about their S/O?)
B - Boldness. (how bold are they in regards to their S/O? who confessed first?)
C - Comfort. (how do they comfort their S/O?)
D - Dates. (do they prefer going out or staying in? do they prefer fancy or simple?)
E - Equal. (are they more dominant or passive?)
F - Family. (do they want to start a family?)
G - Goofy. (how serious are they when it comes to a relationship?)
H - Hugs. (how do they hug? do they like hugs?)
I - Interests. (what Interests do they want to share with their S/O?)
J - Jealousy. (do they get jealous? how do they deal with jealousy?)
K - Kiss. (how they kiss/favorite place to be kissed, and vise versa.)
L - Love Language.
M - Meals. (kitchen dynamics.)
N - Nicknames. (what do they call their S/O?)
O - Openness. (how open are they about their past/emotions with their S/O?)
P - PDA. (what are they comfortable with?)
Q - Quarrel. (how they apologize/ how long it takes them to forgive their S/O?)
R - Rules. (boundaries they have.)
S - Security. (how protective they are of their S/O?)
T - Time. (how long does it takes to fall for their S/O/get together?)
U - Upset (what things upset them in a relationship?)
V - Vacation. (what kind of traveler are they? where would they go with their S/O?)
W - Words. (promises they make to their S/O.)
X - Xenial. (how they make their S/O feel welcome/what makes them feel welcome?)
Y - Yearning. (do they miss their S/O easily? what do they do about it? Additionally, who fell first/who fell harder?)
Could you write something about Bucky and his boyfriend?
After Bucky returns from a long mission, Y/N surprises him with a romantic dinner.
Surprise!
Bucky Barnes x m!reader
Word Count: 1101
Warnings/info: use of y/n, reader is playfully cocky, Bucky and reader live together in an apartment, reader drinks wine, fluff hopefully, not proofread
Y/n frantically raced from counter to counter putting away the ingredients that were no longer needed. His phone buzzed harshly against the counter catching his attention, “Just parked, see you soon.” The message sends his heart into a frenzy. He glances around the warm, dimly lit room, a smile growing on his s/c face as the feeling of pride bubbles in his chest. He takes a small spoonful of the simmering, soft orange sauce, bringing it to his lips; his smile grows as the tangy, slightly thick substance melts on his taste buds.
With a final nod he sets the spoon back onto the counter. He grabs two wine glasses, white napkins (that thankfully arrived on time), and two white candle sticks. The items are neatly placed in their respective places, the wax from the candles rubs off onto his shaky fingers causing an uncomfortable sensation to run through his veins and up his spine.
The loud sound of the door unlocking broke through the quiet apartment, causing the male to jump and swiftly walk to the nearest mirror checking out his appearance, straightening out the suit that draped across his torso. He hears Bucky take a few steps into the main entrance before stopping.
The smell of spices fill the brunet man’s nose, partnered by the soft jasmine and neroli candle lit in the corner of the room, bring a strong sense of comfort to the older man. A confused smirk dances on his chapped lips, he drops his bags next to the front door. Walking farther into the apartment, curiosity turns to amusement when he realizes what his boyfriend has done.
“Darling…?” he calls out, slight anxiety naws on his brain thinking he has forgotten something important “What’s this all for?” He glances around in search of his lover.
The younger man comes out from around the corner, his nervous smile brightens at the sight of Bucky’s lovesick eyes, “Surprise!”
“I -” Bucky searches the other’s face for something, anything, “I’m sorry but I don’t understand.” He says defeated.
“Well, I know how hard you’ve been working and I wanted you to know how proud I am.” As y/n says this he slowly makes his way to Bucky like a fox stalking a brittle, white bunny.
“Thank you doll.” Bucky says feeling unable to comprehend how someone could love him this much.
Y/n takes Bucky’s hand in his own, leading him to the small table adorned in a white table cloth, a dark red overlay and a black runner layered on top. A bundle of roses and baby’s breath sit in a darkly colored vase, candle sticks and all one could think of sat across the placements on each side of the vase.
Y/n pulls out Bucky’s chair for him, laying a quick kiss on the elder's temple as he sits. “And after I can draw you a nice warm bath,” y/n says, dragging out the first word, “even bought you some bath salts and such.” He mumbles onto Bucky’s forehead before leaving another kiss.
Y/n goes to move but Bucky grabs his wrist gently tugging him down to his level, “I love you.” Bucky quietly gushed before planting a suave kiss on y/n’s lips.
“I love you,” y/n echoed, “now can I get the dinner I have just so lovingly prepared?” He jested, Bucky grinned back as he let go of y/n’s wrist.
Y/n walks into the kitchen for a few moments fixing up two plates with the orange pasta gently grating parmesan cheese on top of the dressed up noodles, elegantly walking back to the table and setting them down while softly spinning to go retrieve the deep, dark red wine, before pouring it into the two glasses, finally he pulls a lighter out of his pocket lighting the candles.
“Thank you, y/n.” The use of his first name caused him to glance up only to be met with a teary eyed Bucky.
Choosing to not embarrass the other y/n decides to go the humor route, “Thank me after you’ve tried it, lemme tell you I may or may not be the best cook to ever grace this lovely planet.” Bucky rolls his eyes lovingly at the e/c man.
Bucky is unable to hide his smile as he takes a bite, y/n’s eyebrow quirked up and hummed at the other man, “Oh yeah, I think you might just be.” He grins up at y/n.
“‘Course I am” y/n scoffs.
…
After a slow dinner Bucky feels the tiredness of the day, hell the last few weeks, start to overtake him. Y/n stands and takes the plates to the sink quickly rinsing them before placing them in the dishwasher, Bucky comes up to the other with the empty wine glasses going to wash them. Y/n grabs the glasses out of Bucky’s hand and puts them in the sink while softly scolding him.
“Let me take care of that.” Y/n uttered, “Your night isn’t over yet, come on.” Y/n leads him to the bedroom and connecting bathroom, he follows - content.
“Go to the bathroom and undress, I’ll be quick.” Y/n softly ordered, opening the closet to take out pajamas for the two of them.
“Well, I would say take me to dinner first but…” Bucky snickers.
Y/n rolls his eyes, “Just go.” Bucky puts his hands up and backs into the bathroom.
Bucky whistles eyeing what y/n put together earlier. He sits on the edge of the tub taking off his shoes, he then stands and grips the hem of his shirt pulling it over his head. Y/n walks into the bathroom immediately going to the tub turning on the water letting it run until it turns warm, on the hotter side. He slips the plug into the drain, gathering the supplies, sprinkling the salts into the water.
Once the water is all nice and ready y/n helps Bucky into the water. He steps away to turn on some slow jazz (particularly one album that Bucky listened to all the time when he was much younger), y/n kisses Bucky again right above the eyebrow, he stands to make his exit, both men laughing when his knees pop.
Y/n closes the door and makes his way back to the kitchen to finish cleaning up, and unpacking Bucky’s bags. He smiles widely at the thought of the man in the other room, listening to the very quiet music that drifted out through the home.
I’m very for angst right now- Bucky in his Winter Soldier ‘mode’ in some way hurt his boyfriend who then was sent to the hospital. Later on when Bucky’s back to normal he realized what he did and feels very sad about it and visits his partner
sorry this took so long, i know it's not really what you were looking for, more of a hurt/comfort than angst.
Sorry, Sweet Home.
Bucky Barnes x m!reader
Word Count: 644
Warnings/Info: made this on my phone, this isn't really angsty, more fluff than anything, just a hospital scene; no actual violence, not proofread, no real warnings
Bucky sat in the pure white and blue hospital waiting room, speckles of color pop out in the minimalist paintings of nothing in particular. Tears pricked in his eyes as the guilt of harming you caused him to shudder deeply. How could he do this? How could he let himself slip like that? How could he hurt you when all you wanted to do was help? He felt numb as he shifted uncomfortably in the stiff seat.
The doctor came to him, Bucky didn't fully know what was said to him. The sound of his heart and nondescript buzzing flooded his ears. His body moved by itself as he made his way through the spotless hallway to your cleansed, pale room.
His eyes land on your somnolent body, he blinks to clear his eyes of the warm tears. His mind races a mile a minute, his self hate and shame boils in his heart. His body feels like it's going to give out underneath the weight of it all. His thoughts come to an abrupt end at the sight of your warm, shaky smile.
“Buck…? You okay?” You whispered, voice soft as a small kit.
“Am I okay?” His voice cracked deeply, taking a breath before continuing, “Are you?” He made no effort to move closer to you - the guilt stopping him.
“Of course I am, I can take you any day.” You jested, he let out a soft whimper at that.
“Honey, can you please come over here?” You pleaded with a warm smile.
He nodded hesitantly, pulling up a chair to the side of your bed. Knees pressed against the soft plush of the mattress, the contrast of the cool metal bringing him no comfort.
“I am so sorry.” He apologized, voice barley audible out of fear that if he spoke too loud, he wouldn't be able to get the sentence out. Tears running down his soft cheeks, the salty taste enters through the corner of his lips.
“Hey, no no no, don't do that. It's not your fault.” The pads of your thumbs gently wipe the tears off of his pretty face.
“-But I put you here? How could this not be my fault? I let myself go, and I let myself hurt you.” He croaked, “ I'm a monster.” He avoided eye contact like the plague, opted to look at his hands tangled with yours.
You broke into laughter, warm and bubbly, he looked up at your face, confusion gracing his angelic features.
“Sorry, I just, I love you so very much. Do you know that?” You snickered.
“Callin’ yourself a monster, but - god, I mean, look at you.” You say with a harsh snort.
“What does that mean?” He smiles at you, guilt seeping out of his system at your antics.
“Well, for starters you have an entire bookshelf of only fantasy, you organize your clothes by color, you're insanely good with kids, you love carnivals, you fold your socks, you are a cat whisperer, do you need more?”
He looks at you sweetly, opening his mouth to respond, but he closes it when he can't find the right words to choose. He looks down at his lap, a lovely smirk on his lips. He's trying to hide it almost like he's embarrassed of himself for being so easily swayed.
“Look at me.” You responded curtly. His blue eyes swiftly look up at you, shaken by your icy tone.
You lean in and leave a quick tender kiss on his slightly chapped lips, he chases your lips as you pull away. He whines as you stop him from continuing. You rest your forehead on his, your breath mixing together, “I love you, Buck, so so much.” You mumble into the small space between you two.
“I love you more.” He kisses your cheek.
“Sure sure.” You scoff, catching his lips once more.
Bucky Barnes x m!reader / Steve Rogers and m!reader (platonic)
Word Count: 3419
Warnings/Info: bucky briefly mentioned but isn’t in this, Steve and y/n best buds, not proof read, kind of boring because it's just a play by play of the end of the first avenger, y/n is content with his own death, guns/shooting, Peggy <3, discontinued
Part One
Y/n’s transfer was approved merely a day after he sent it in, just one of the perks of being friends with Captain America. When y/n and Steve saw each other for the first time there was an unnamed tension between the two, they of course both loved the other but never really hung out without Bucky. Steve introduced y/n the rest of the team, he truly didn’t want to deal with pleasantries at the moment and they seemed to get the hint. The team briefly knew y/n and Bucky’s relationship, (leaving a few key details out) so they chalked his standoffish behavior as grief, which it was for the most part.
The final Hydra base came quickly, the plan was making y/n nervous as he and the Howling Commandos, excluding Steve, sat on top of a ledge looking down into the Hydra Headquarters’ main window. He anxiously chewed his lip and he awaited his cue, Dugan looked at y/n and put a warm hand on his shoulder, “He’ll be fine, he knows what he’s doing.” He attempted to reassure. “I know he does.” Y/n bites back, Dugan’s eyes go wide with a shocked smile, “Sorry, I’m just - I’ll be better on the ground.” Dugan’s smile warms and he laughs, letting go of his shoulder, walking closer to the edge.
“Ready boys?” Dugan calls out.
In unison they all get up and get into stance to shoot out the zip line hooks. “On three! One, two, three!” The hooks all fire out, with a metallic zing. They all quickly tie off their lines to the poles dug deeply into the ground, despite seeing them go into mountain y/n can’t help but feel nervous as he puts his handle across the line, taking a deep breath and running off the edge, the friction producing a sound that reminded y/n of watching Bucky work on the docks - pulling ropes off the side of the small ships.
“Fucking Christ!” Y/n hears someone yelp out.
He looks to the side, trying his best to hide his face into the crook of his own neck. The glass shatters against his body; small shards sticking into his soft flesh, his hands letting go of the zip line on impact, his body rolls across the cold, hard floor. The sound of gunshots rattle his body before his eyes can process the area around him, he looks up and slides his body to a near crate on the floor, he pulls his gun close to his chest and looks around the corner - firing at a Hydra soldier. Y/n stays crouched as he runs to a pillar, he makes eye contact with Steve from across the room, Steve nods his head toward the hallway before running into it, y/n following close behind.
“You okay?” Y/n questions the second he gets close to Steve.
“Yeah, hit me a few times but you’ve probably hit me harder.” Steve smiles at him.
Y/n laughs at Steve as they continue to run after Schmidt.
Schmidt was shooting behind him as he ran, Steve pulling up his shield to cover his face, y/n moved his stride to hide behind Steve. Schmidt smashes a button as he runs by, the door mechanism blinks to life as two metal walls move together from both sides at a steady pace, Steve quickly throws the shield between them, metallic creaking filling the hallway as the door continues to try and close. The two men attempt to run to the door but are cut off by a man with a double barrel flamethrower, they frantically step back hiding in another doorway at the other end of the hall. Fear washes over y/n as he tries to shoot the soldier - the flames disrupting his view.
Gunshots ring out, the echoes making hard to know where they came from, until the Hydra soldier drops. Steve and y/n move forward to the body planted in front of a crossroads in the hall, as they reach it Peggy and Colonel Phillips almost run into them.
“You’re late.” Steve says looking like a lovesick puppy, you wave softly at her.
Y/n was about to tell Steve to keep it moving but Peggy beat him to it, “Weren’t you about to-?”
“Right.” Steve turns and keeps running, y/n quickly following suit.
Y/n ducks under the shield first before Steve pulls it out of the door, causing it to snap shut. Y/n glances around, taking in the large room, the shooting and screams has now become as normal as the sound of his own breathing. Both men look for Schmidt’s running form, while neither find him; they both see the only moving aircraft slowly starting to descend farther down the runway.
The men both wordlessly take off running in the direction of the aircraft, shooting and shoving through the people in your way, at some point Steve grabbed y/n’s arm pulling him along. The two keep running, adrenaline pumping through y/n’s veins, the only thing he can hear is his own heartbeat pounding in his ears rhythmically. In the distance Steve sees a chain dangling from the ceiling a few feet from a crate, he slows a bit pulling y/n in front of him as softly as possible, picking him up and placing him on his side like a young child. He runs at his full speed at the crate using it to propel himself (and y/n) toward the chain, y/n leaps out of his arms - landing on the chain just above Steve. It aggressively swings back and forth, y/n jumps first, landing a few dozen feet ahead, Steve following behind.
The aircraft is so close but accelerating far too quickly for y/n, and too quickly for Steve. They slow to a stop as it speeds away, before all hope can be lost a car halts next to them, “Get in!” The Colonel yells over all the noise, neither of you need to be told twice as you hop in. Colonel Phillips floors it; once you start to get close to the aircraft the propellers hit the back of the car, the screeching of metal sounds imitates a monster lurking in the shadows of cold caverns in the deep ocean. You shakily climb onto the hood of the car, Steve doing the same much more confidently.
“Keep it steady!” Steve calls out.
“Yeah, that, please.” Y/n nervously laughs.
“Wait.” Peggy firmly states, Steve turns around to look at her, concern apparent in his eyes which quickly melts away when she kisses him.
“Hey…I don’t mean to rush this but-“ Y/n interjects.
“Yeah, right. Go get him.” She smiles at Steve, then at y/n (which shocks him slightly).
Steve looks at the Colonel in one final glance, “I’m not kissin ya.”
Y/n and Steve line themselves up on the end of the hood, knees bent tightly, the car now as close as it can get to the wheels, swerving harshly to throw the men forward. Y/n’s knuckles turn white as the wheel starts to move up into the ship. Steve watches y/n closely, fear racking him slightly as the height increases.
The wheels lock in place with a final clicking noise, the men climb off of them and through the bars onto the catwalk. Their eyes are met with bombs lined up on exit hatches, as well as a few small one man planes, they walk up to one of the bombs with neat painted letters in print, New York. “Well it's awfully nice of them to let us know the plan.” Y/n jokes to try and lighten the mood but it falls on deaf ears.
Steve is only pulled out of his trance when a fair sized group of Hydra soldiers stormed through the doors onto the catwalk. Y/n and Steve both immediately jump into action, both noticing that they’re trying to get into the planes. Y/n pulls a soldier out of the pilot seat harshly, throwing him onto the floor and shooting him in one fluid motion. Y/n finishes off the few Hydra soldiers on his side, he turns around and sees Steve no longer there, fear courses through his veins as he runs to an open exit hatch. Looking down he sees Steve standing on top of the small plane pulling open the door and dragging the pilot out into the open air. He gets in and starts to fly around the ship; y/n losing sight of Steve.
Seeing as Steve’s shield is on the ground, y/n assumed he should wait for Steve to return. While waiting y/n takes a dead Hydra soldier’s gun and shoots the wall seeing the blue light explode onto it. He hears a crash behind him and Steve climbs in from the plane and aggressively grabs the shield off the floor, “Getting trigger happy?” He laughs, “Fuck Hydra in all, but they got sick guns.” Y/n says waving it around, “Alright calm down, and don’t shoot me.”
Y/n leans around Steve to look at his parking job, “Jesus man - you ever fly before?”
“As the pilot? God no.” Steve laughs moving to quickly walk further into the aircraft.
The two eventually find the control center, Schmidt nowhere to be seen. Y/n glances around before feeling a hard grip on his bicep yanking him behind Steve, the shield blocking the familiar blue gunshots.
“You don’t give up do you?” Schmidt yells out at Steve, his accent getting heavier throughout the sentence.
“Nope.” Steve states matter of factly, before throwing his shield at the red man, Steve aggressively rushes him.
Seeing as Steve has Schmidt under control y/n goes to the controls, frantically looking for a way to turn the ship around. He quickly finds a, what he thinks was a button, broken off labeled autopilot. The familiar hopeless feeling drapes itself over y/n, clouding all of his senses like a heavy wool blanket. Y/n gets knocked out of his thoughts when Schmidt smashes into the controls, forcing the steering controls down, throwing the three of you up into the ceiling.
“You could have the power of the gods! Yet you wear a flag on your chest and think you fight a battle of nations!” Schmidt yells out at Steve, “I have seen the future, Captain! There are no flags!” His voice gets louder and more intense the more he yells.
“Not my future.” Steve throws the shield at the mysterious machine in the middle of the room.
It sparked and the blue light aggressively flickered, making a whirring sound. A bright blue cube fell out of its container, it burned so bright it felt as though it could burn one's eye, it felt like it could blind the vision of the eye in just one glance. Despite this y/n couldn’t look away.
“What have you done?” Schmidt exclaims, venom dripping from his voice.
Schmidt picks up the cube off the floor with haste, the sky starts to open up, all three men look up at it, a bright, star filled, galaxy looks back at them - it seemed to wink back at them as it started to rapidly consume Schmidt. His screams filled the air, y/n wanted so bad to look away but he just couldn’t.
The second Schmidt was fully gone the sky closed back up, it all happened so fast if it weren’t for Steve’s shocked expression y/n would’ve thought he imagined it. The cube falls back onto the floor with a hard thud, it sits for a second before melting through the metal and falling into the open air. Steve shutters slightly, and walks up to y/n, who is still standing by the control panel, eyeing it with concern and confusion.
“I can’t- I don’t-“ Y/n stutters,”It won’t stop, it's stuck on auto pilot.”
Wordlessly he gently pushes by y/n to get a closer look, he sees the same thing y/n did, Steve looks strange as he sits down and picks up the radio.
“This is Captain Rodgers, do you read me?”
A man starts to say something on the other side but is cut off by Peggy, “Steve is that you? Are you two alright?”
“Peggy, Schmidt’s dead!” Steve calls out.
“What about the plane?”
“That’s a little tougher to explain.” As Steve says that, he has a certain look in his eye, y/n now starting to understand the new plan, sinks down to the floor next to the chair - back against the side of the chair.
“Give me your coordinates and I’ll find you a safe landing site.” She pleads.
“There’s not gonna be a safe landing.” He says solemnly.
Their conversation starts to blur together as y/n gets lost in his own thoughts, a sense of calm replacing his fear, there is nothing y/n can do. He knows this, he’s okay with this. He can’t help but get that guilty feeling again, he’s ready for death, he come to terms with that a long time ago, while he didn’t think it was going to be today, it's fine that it is. He can’t help it, how could he be sad when he knows he’ll see his boy again? The guilt pinches at him again when he remembers who he’s sitting next to, how can he be happy to see his lover again when Steve is being ripped away from his own? He hears his name, successfully gaining his attention.
“Y/n?” Peggy asks.
“I’m sorry what?” He smiles at the radio, he knows she can’t see him but it felt right.
“Are you okay with this? It’s not just Steve’s life.” She states firmly, it's sort of comforting.
Steve looks at y/n, fear in his eyes, it hits y/n that he’s never seen Steve scared before. He’s seen Steve depressed, angry, concerned, hopeless, but never scared. Without thinking y/n grabbed one of Steve’s hands, off the controls, into his own.
“…Well I mean you know the saying, the few for the many, or whatever.” He attempted to joke, hoping to lighten the mood.
Steve uses his free hand to put his locket of Peggy on the small ledge on one of the controls. Y/n temporarily lets go of Steve’s hand in order to stand up, Steve puts his hands on the console before looking up into y/n’s eyes, y/n smiles sadly and puts his hands on top of Steve’s, pushing down together. The aircraft took an immediate dive.
“Peggy.” He pauses, “I’m gonna need a rain check on the dance.”
“All right,” her voice quivers, “A week, next Saturday at the Stork Club.”
“You got it.” A tear falls out of his eye.
“Eight O'clock on the dot, don’t you dare be late. Understood?”
“You know I still don’t know how to dance.” He laughs, y/n smiles at him.
“I’ll show you how, just be there.”
“We’ll have the band play something slow,” Steve started, y/n felt like he shouldn’t be listening to this.
“I’d hate to step on your feet.”
“…” Something barely comes through but it’s intelligible, static taking over the whole system.
“Peg?” Steve sniffles, before looking at y/n for what he thinks is the last time.
…
Y/n’s eyes slowly blink open, squinting to adjust to the bright fluorescent lights, his nose filled with the strong smells of disinfectant and a cheap lavender candle. He groans pushing himself up to rest on his elbows, digging into the stiff bed, further taking in his surroundings, he sees Steve laying on another bed across the room - eyes also opening. He yawns, a soft pop in his ear, now hearing more clearly he notices a radio on Steve’s side of the room, it was some sort of sport (baseball most likely, based on his tone) announcer excitedly describing the game.
“You alright?” Steve asks, voice raspy.
“Yeah, I think so?” Y/n sounds unsure, throwing his legs over the side of the bed., “You?”
“I’m fine.” Steve replies half heartedly, staring down the radio.
A few beats of silence pass before y/n starts to talk again, “How-?”
He stops talking when a short pale woman opens the door and slowly makes her way in, she looks…off slightly. “Good morning,” she checks her watch, “or should I say afternoon.” She laughs softly at her own words.
“Where are we?” Steve asks with an accusatory tone.
“You’re in a recovery room in New York City.” Her eyes darted between the two men.
Steve looks at the radio once more, “Where are we really?” He says more harshly this time, almost threatening.
“I’m afraid I don’t understand the question.” She smiles nervously, eyes now trained on Steve. Y/n looks over the room again, something is wrong about it but he just can’t put his finger on it.
“The game,” he gestures to the radio, “It’s from May 1941. I know because I was there.”
“Now I’m going to ask again, where are we?” He steps closer to her, y/n takes notice of a small orange light in her closed fist.
“Captain Rogers…” She steps back, looking at y/n almost as if she wanted him to help her.
“Who are you?” He states firmly, his captain tone coming out.
“Steve - her hand!” Y/n yelps once he gains an idea of its possible function, Steve looks at it, but before he can take it a few men dressed up in military gear storm the room.
Y/n quickly stands up, watching Steve take care of the men like it was his day job (which it kind of was). Steve throws one of them through the wall on the left side of the door, creating a void for them to move through. Y/n and Steve move in the direction of their exit with no hesitation, they enter a barren looking warehouse, only the fake recovery room in the middle of it. Steve grabs y/n’s hand to pull him faster, a sensation y/n has gotten so very used to.
“Captain Rogers! Y/t y/l! Wait!”
They exit the warehouse and enter a lobby of what feels like a dystopian sci-fi book, they slow down for a split second to look around at this new strange environment. A loud announcement echoes throughout the building, “All agents! Code thirteen!” Dozens of men turn to them, almost robotically, start running at them. They take off in a full fledged sprint (at least y/n does, Steve slows a bit so as to not rip y/n’s arm off) , out of the building.
The road they end up on is scarier than the building, bright billboards line the streets, except they move around, lights flashing. Cars honked at them paired with swearing and screaming, the cars themselves in all kinds of different shapes and sizes, one specific car swerving in front of them, effectively blocking them from moving farther down the street. A rather bald, dark man steps out of the vehicle, a black eye patch wrapped around his head, he slowly steps toward the two men - hands out like you would a dog who one isn’t sure is safe.
“At ease soldiers!” He calls out, y/n and Steve looking at each other to silently communicate what they were going to do; they decide to hear him out. “Look I’m sorry about that little show back there, but we thought it best to break it to you slowly.”
“Break what?” The men say in unison.
“You’ve both been asleep,” he pauses to look them both up and down, “ for almost seventy years.”
Both y/n’s and Steve’s minds stop working. Y/n feels his heart race out of his chest, he looks at Steve whose eyes are jumping from place to place around the street, “You two gonna be okay?” The mysterious man asks softly, real concern present.
“Yeah.” “No.” Steve and y/n say at the same time, they all look to y/n who sighs loudly, “I will be though…I guess.” He mumbles the last part but Steve still hears him and he laughs quietly at his friend.
The man smiles, “How about we take a ride?” He offers, y/n and Steve accept cautiously.
