I'll pretend we've never lied

They tried to burry us, they didn't know we were seeds... some personal shit

[eelectricdaze]

I don’t know what you need from me because I can’t remember what you say.

Do I forget intentionally or accidentally because I have undiagnosed ADHD? Or because my memory is shit after having a baby. Or because I just don’t care. Cause I’m stressed out all the time. And our relationship is shit cause I can’t remember what you need and I don’t remember what you say when you say it and I don’t know why.

When you say that’s not how it happened but I don’t remember it happening differently. And I feel I need to record everything and play it back but I can’t cause that’s not realistic. That’s not normal.

I am living in a loop, my life is on repeat. I feel like a terrible mom, a terrible wife, a terrible employee, a terrible person. I am surviving and it’s never good enough. I’m not okay.

I’m not myself, I’m not okay. And I don’t want you to fix me cause I’m not okay but I’m not broken. But I feel broken. But just hold my hand and tell me you love me. Don’t blame me cause I don’t have the capacity to take accountability for the things I don’t think I am doing wrong. Because I don’t think it’s wrong necessarily it’s just different.

Cause you’re different, and I’m different. And that’s life. And I can’t stop it but I want to stop it but I can’t cause I don’t remember what you need cause I can’t remember what you say.

[eelectricdaze]

Send me aesthetic pics

[eelectricdaze]

Memory

BY EVELYN GRAHAM FROST

[eelectricdaze]

Most of the time I can’t match his energy, and that alone makes me feel like a bad person, a bad wife.

[saladpeople]

And baby, when I saw you I saw that we would crash and burn I went to every school, but I never really learned

[eelectricdaze]

Glasswing butterfly

[hannahkemp-deactivated20240409]

[like-fairy-tales]

[mutant-distraction]

Daisies in bloom, Kagawa, Japan

[classycookiexo]

[eelectricdaze]

It’s funny really

The way you lose yourself in life

In other people

In roles you take on

In my deepest darkest ways

I know who I am

Very few know me like I do

And the ones who should

Don’t understand

Or just don’t value what makes me, me

We are truly alone in that aspect

You search and search for it

You think you find it

By doing what you never would have done

You think, “this is best for me”

To break the cycle

But very few truly see you in your life

Navigating that is painful

Then You have children

And that complicates things

I was always a drifter

Open and free

It wasn’t sustainable

And I knew that

But some nights I get to reminisce

I get to remember what makes me, me

And it’s a beautiful thing

[darkphotographs]

Dark

[red-eye-express]

[nonalimmen]

© Nona Limmen

[hirxeth]

[eelectricdaze]

My past bores you to the core

When once we empathized

I feel too much for you to bare

I can’t reminisce

for your comforts sake

You let the passion escape you

And now I’m holding the embers

The torch that use to burn

Like a cigarette in a snow storm

Fill me with delight

as fast as I breathe you in

Feelings take flight

You exposed yourself for me

I just want to see inside you

Like we use to be

Like we use to do

[jasonlowder-project]

…