Burning my old as dirt binders in post op flame ritual
Noah Kahan

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EXPECTATIONS
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@eff-tea-em
Burning my old as dirt binders in post op flame ritual
We really have harmed a whole generation of trans and gnc children by failing to communicate how serious a decision binding actually is, how there’s no ACTUALLY safe way to bind, how it permeneantly damages the body, how it can make top surgery more difficult in the future. I don’t think we should be keeping trans kids from binding (we let kids do all sorts of things they’re really not old enough to understand the potential consequences of) but we owe them the ability to make informed decisions at LEAST
So this is definitely an important conversation to have, but can you point me at some reading about “permanent damage”? I might just be lucky, but I had zero lasting effects from binding. I’d like to at least read up on it so I can have this conversation and be more specific than “be careful.”
Of course! I can’t easily source right now but I am more than happy to provide further info when I am not at work and on mobile. Unfortunately, like a lot of trans healthcare, a lot of what we know about binding is anecdotal and word of mouth. BUT permeneant damage can include:
-Musculoskeletal damage. Binders are indiscriminate compression tools; they can’t flatten the chest without applying pressure every other anatomical structure underneath including the spine, ribs, lungs and heart. Many people who bind experience chronic back pain, shoulder pain, sharp stabbing chest pains, permeneantly decreased lung capacity, literal spine deformation, etc etc.
-A continuation of the above but the ribs are actually jointed bones. Their ability to flex is absolutely vital to their ability to withstand trauma and protect your vital organs. Imagine the damage that would be done to your elbow if your bent your arm to full flexion and then tightly bound it closed like that, for six, eight, twelve hours per day, every day, for weeks or months or years. And you don’t NEED a functioning arm to live!
-Tissue atrophy. Forcing chest tissue to lay in an unnatural way can and will change the way that tissue looks, even to risk of atrophy. Some people who bind and only moderately dislike the way their chest looks find that they HATE the way it looks after binding for a period of time. Tissue atrophy can also make top surgery more difficult in the future, and increase the risk of complications like nerve damage.
-Worsened dysphoria. Once someone starts binding and becomes accustomed to seeing themselves with a flat chest, it can be much more difficult to see yourself without one, and dysphoria that much more intolerable. You can imagine the psychological feedback loop of binding more in response.
The typical safety measures passed around about binding are harm REDUCTION measures and should not be advertised as making binding “safe.” Binding is not safe. It is a very serious health decision with long term consequences and should be treated as such. That doesn’t mean it’s the wrong decision, but it should not be considered the DEFAULT decision for chest dysphoria which is frankly how it’s currently treated.
gonna drop some links to read more:
Health impact of chest binding among transgender adults: a community-engaged, cross-sectional study Inside the Landmark, Long Overdue Study on Chest Binding
Binding FAQ
Health Consequences of Chest Binding
@pooflyperfectprincess
Holy shit
I went to the Philadelphia Trans Health Conference and went to a workshop held by a chiropractor who works with trans men (as well as being a trans man himself), so I’m going to pass on his advice to people who bind:
Stretch your chest, shoulders, and back everyday (at least)
This is a passive stretch where you place a foam roller at the bottom of your spine (to support your hips and lower back), and lifts your shoulders off of the ground, with your arms on the ground to balance you.
This stretch is meant to be held for a few minutes, open up your chest, and aid your everyday posture.
You probably don’t own a foam roller, he advised to wrap a towel or blanket very tightly and tied as a substitute. I use a layer of bed foam rolled up with two belts to keep it rolled. Whatever you use, it ought to have a bit of give and it needs to lift your shoulders off the ground.
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This is an active stretch. Stand in front of a doorway with your feet together (if the door way was not there, your toes would be touching the wall, not crossing through it). When you lift your arms up and put them against the wall, your feet, hips, and arms should all be in line with each other (your arms should not be behind you with your feet and hips in the doorway).
Make a “W” shape with your arms against the wall so that your elbows are the closest part of your arm to the ground, and take one small step forward.
You should feel a pull in your lower shoulders, but it should be comfortable to hold. Do not over stretch, you shouldn’t be leaning your weight into your arms to balance, your weight should be balanced by your legs. Do not judge yourself and think you are doing yourself a favor by thinking that you ought to have a bigger step. Sure, you could overstretch today, but you need to be able to do this tomorrow too! Hold this for 10-15 seconds. (Yet again. Do. Not. Overstretch.)
Bring your feet back together, and do it the other foot. There will probably be one foot that is easier than the other, stretch that step more often than the less difficult step.
Bring your feet together and bring your elbows up so that your upper arms are parallel to the ground and your elbow forms a 90° angle with your forearms. Take your small step forward and hold for 10-15 seconds and switch feet.
Now reach your arms up as high as you can. It doesn’t have to be much higher than the last stretch, if that is as high as you can go, then that’s it. If you can’t reach higher than the last stretch, put your arms down at your sides and then lift your arms up from your sides and put them against the wall (sorry he didn’t include a picture of this one in the slides, message me if this is unclear.)
Your goal is to be able to reach your arms up like in the picture so that you form a Y shape. Step forward and hold for 10-15 seconds, then switch feet.
His advice was to do this stretch as often as you use the bathroom at home (shoot for 3-5 times a day).
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The next two stretchs don’t have pictures! If you can do these stretches with ease and want a more intense version, try using dumbbells and incorporating it into your workouts.
If you’ve ever done snow angels? Put your heels, butt, shoulders, and arms up against a wall (as much of your body as you possibly can should be touching the wall) and lift your arms up as high as you can go like you are making a snow angel.
Alternatively, lay down on the ground instead of up against a wall if you need to work your way up to lifting your arms above your head.
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Again, with your body up against the wall, but this time with your arms in front of you, bring your arms up like Frankenstein’s monster, so that they are as high as your shoulders. Hold this for a few seconds.
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After trying these stretchs, it’ll probably be clear where your range of motion is most limited. For me, the most useful stretches are the W and 90° angle doorway stretch and foam roller stretch, bc I have the most trouble with my lower shoulders and chest. Try to maintain your range of motion where you have it, and use these stretches to improve your range of motion where you are limited.
For all my binding buddies.
This isn't my official bill, but here's the breakdown according to my monthly EOB.
somebody hold me.
chilling the fuck out in my "top surgery tank" i bought... four? four years ago as a visual goal to get surgery.
i feel amazing. bandages are off finally! I'm still wearing bandaids on my nipple grafts for a while until I'm comfy, but otherwise I'm free.
wow.
me: waking up from top surgery
doctor: here are your male presenting nipples sir
Post-op Results!
I had surgery with Dr Haruko Okada in Columbus Ohio (she's with the Ohio Health Network). Not only is literally everyone amazing, nice, inclusive, and EDUCATED, Dr Okada herself is simply pleasant and honestly fun to be around. She's a stickler for details; paperwork, drawing incision lines, aftercare, everything. She makes everything simple and safe.
ANYWAY I'm literally shaking at how amazing everything looks.
I'm sorry but i can't get over how incredible my nipples look.
I can't be happier with the care and the results I've recieved.
i realized the other day how much like… internalized transphobia im dealing with.
i became so uncomfortable with my transness and insecure in my male identity especially after the Pulse nightclub shooting, and since then its all gotten worse for me. ive been avoiding lgbt spaces, avoiding lgbt discussions, not wanting to acknowledge key aspects of my identity. i hate being trans. often i forget that im not a cis guy, and whenever im reminded that im not, i get angry, isolated, and dysphoric obviously.
ignoring my own issues and failing to come to terms with my gender and queerness causes me to not care or take others seriously when it comes to lgbt stuff. another big contributor to my attitude the past year or so is all the ~tumblr discourse~ surrounding lgbt and especially gender issues and the rampant immaturity, ignorance, and general bullshit i cant find in me to care about whatsoever. ive NEVER been able to connect with the tumblr trans community, but again, this honestly stems from me not accepting myself for it.
i feel unsafe being trans, uncomfortable being trans, i feel like i dont fit in any lgbt spaces and i dont really have any solutions. ive been putting this post off for a while because i dont want the tumblr trans community trying to come down on my case about whatever fucking ~problematic opinions~ i have like, look I KNOW and i want to talk it out without someone policing my thoughts and my voice. there isnt one trans narrative.
is anyone else out here experiencing the same stuff??
In the time since i originally posted this on my main, these feelings have been waning. however, in this week after surgery as I've sat here on my couch in the same clothes for seven days I've been REALLY active (read as: active AT ALL) in communities on reddit. and I've been lurking quite a lot and really just finally loving acknowledging this part of my life again.
IT HAPPENED Y'ALL!
I'll detail my experience later, for now, just know that I'm doing fine and I'm so happy
HO 14 DAYS TILL SURGERY!
41 Days until surgery!
Ok btw since it’s coming out day and I’ve pretty much literally never really"come out"in my life i guess I’ll do that.
Hey I’m Leon, and I’m a polyamorous bisexual transman, tho i live stealth, and I’m married to a Tall lesbian wife who i love so much
throwing this here too
I've wondered if after having surgery, I'll remain stealth. for me, it's about getting taken seriously i guess? and once i have surgery I'll be able to feel like I'm getting taken seriously as a man enough to tell folks that im trans?
i think thats it.
happy coming out day
Another multi-hundred dollar project on my car... replacing the calipers as well as rotors and pads.
At this rate, I will probably have to leave the bulk of the diagnostics on my brakes until after surgery unless I will be able to afford to take it into a mechanic
Help Leon Get $3k for Top Surgery
The great news is this - I’ve met my surgeon, had my consultation appointment, and everything looks good-to-go as far as my physical ability to have double incision surgery. The not so great news -
I have a snowball’s chance in hell being approved by insurance.
Which, granted, is not a shocking thing. Needless to say, I’m not optimistic about that part.
I’m Leon and I NEED top surgery because quite frankly I’ve been binding for over 5 years and it’s taking a real toll. I’m a martial artist and my style requires hard effing work, mostly done with my elbows as close to each other and my body as possible. Anyone who wears a binder can imagine that kind of discomfort and potentially damaging effects.
I’ve chosen to see Dr. Haruko Okada in Columbus Ohio where I live, and she’s incredible. Trained under Medali, she only performs double incision procedure and usually is a hand surgeon. I’ve already had my first appointment at no cost, now we are simply waiting on the chopping block for insurance’s answer.
I am not looking to crowdfund the entire 10k potential cost of my operation. Somebody else needs that more than I do. I can realistically cover half that cost in about 6 months if I bust my ass, and my in-laws are always willing to lend me a hand, even if I don’t want the help. So I’m looking to raise three thousand dollars.
Coming up in October I’m taking a trip to Hong Kong that has already siphoned my savings account and I haven’t even gotten there yet. On top of that I’m paying rent and utilities, and I’ve loaned out a large sum of cash for the deposit to a roommate that put me back as well. My monthly living expenses don’t make it impossible to save money, but if insurance calls next week and I have my surgery scheduled asap? That’s going to be quite an issue. I DON’T have that money right now.
venmo: LeonAlexandar-Christian
Paypal: [email protected]
Facebook: Leon Alexandar Christian
If you choose to donate any amount, please follow my transition blog eff-tea-em . I will be posting any insurance updates, surgery updates, etc there.
Otherwise thanks for giving this post your time, please share it around!
THANK YOU for the help thus far everyone, every little thing really counts right now and I’m getting more optimistic for the future! ❤
Still keeping this going, I have until November 26!
I barely made it through this week with both food AND gas to get to work, and thanks to the support I've received I made it to another paycheck. everything matters so much and i am grateful for ALL of the support
This is what high school and the gay bomb did to me
Pal, i used to REALLY look like that didn't I😂🤣
One of these days I should make a T-timeline photoset
Recieved "the call", that is, the insurance decision.
AND MY SURGERY GOT ACCEPTED! However I know that this is a tentative victory at best, as insurance tends to skyrocket procedure costs and\or resind any offer of coverage after the fact.
But I know that I can add will fight any adverse decision reached by insurance, and I have the very competent office staff to guide me as well as legal services at work.
WE CAN MAKE IT!!
I'm the meantime, this means I may have celebrated a bit after the call, but I am still preparing as if I never got that call at all.
Didn't expect to have to re-do the brakes on my car AGAIN this year as well as replace the rotors. At this rate, in saving for surgery, I might BARELY have enough cash to eat a meal everyday in Hong Kong OTL
I also had to purchase a new (refurbished) phone, as my current one doesn't work unless the temperature is above 75 degrees, and I honestly wish I were exaggerating.
It's a rough financial year, but I know I can make it somehow, and I truly appreciate the help I receive from you guys and my friends at home. Surgery looks more and more possible everyday!