Just Breathe @effing-harry-styles - Tumblr Blog

people: omg how are you single????

me *internally*: because i have deeply rooted emotional issues and a debilitating fear that im not good enough for anything

me: guess I just haven’t caught my fiSH yet! haha reel one in for me if you find one, sharon!!

blueraspberries

justbadpuns

This changed my outlook on everything

blazeofgold-deactivated20190921

I can stomach bro-type boys who actually are quite sweet and loveable beneath their bro exterior significantly more than like, guys who study philosophy and write “poetry” but beneath it all actually have the skewed moral compass and heedless self absorption of your common or garden bro.

outlaw-queen-deactivated2018061

chris evans vs james franco

verdantelf

joey tribbiani vs ross gellar

6lacksoul

theystudyrainbows

iamlouistomlinson

“[What Makes You Beautiful] has been one of my favorite songs to sing for the last 7 years.”

fuckrealityihaveablog

I want a story about an Italian vampire.

No romance, no action.

Just 200 pages of “What do you mean, I can’t have garlic? Do you know where I’m from?”

absinthenoir-deactivated2019090

TBH I think the main issue would be the mirror thing

have you ever met an Italian man

the amount of time they spend looking in the mirror jfc

wunderlass

#the more you think about it the more all vampire rules are just anti-italian rules#can’t go out in sunlight?? IN ITALY???#Can’t go near crucifixes? IN ITALY???

princezane-deactivated20151205

a bunch of pissed off vampires stuck in Venice because they can’t go over moving water

theresoneofyou

Not to victim blame, but you’d have to be a pretty bad Italian to even get turned into a vampire in the first place.

hey-there-nutlet-deactivated201

the only two places practically immune to vampires are texas and italy

darkestelemental616

Let me tell you of A Thing.

Lithuania has no vampires, I guarantee it.

emjineer

So my boss once robbed a museum to prove a point and honestly, I think she is my new role model.

emjineer

If this gets notes I’ll tell the full story

marry-and-mirthful

Storu

emjineer

Many years ago, my boss was working at this museum and they had these original Churchill documents on display. These documents are worth millions of dollars… The only thing separating the public from these documents was a sheet of glass secured with 4 philips head screws. Seriously. No security guards in the room, no cameras, just an easily removable piece of glass.

My boss pointed out the security concern, but she wasn’t taken seriously, so she took matters into her own hands.

She bought a ticket and pretended to be a guest. She entered through the main entrance with a huge drill clearly visible on her belt, went straight to the documents and opened the case with the drill. (While wearing gloves,) she removed the documents, put them in a folder, reattached the glass, and walked out the main exit. Literally no one even questioned her.

She immediately went around to the back of the museum, entered using the staff entrance and went straight to her boss’s office. She dropped the folder on his desk and said “I just stole these in 15 minutes“

Once he was done being mad at her, he listened and the museum increased security.

unclefather

dankmemeuniversity

tastefullyoffensive

(via luxuryxo)

seduced

beeftea78-deactivated20200113

you’ve all heard of fairy wrens

the superb fairy wren!

the splendid fairy wren!

the lovely fairy wren!

the purple-crowned fairy wren!

now get ready for…

the red-backed fairy wren!

every family has a goth cousin

zombieheroine

The real writer experience is standing in the shower and coming up with the most authentic dialogue with perfect phrasing and raw emotion in your head, then stepping out and drying your hair, putting on some clean pajamas and opening a word document to write down all your perfect ideas only to realize everything has evaporated.